Children throwing tantrums in stores! What??

Snikkee

I was in Michaels yesterday and this father and son were shopping. I guess his kid (who looked around 3 or 4) wanted something, but dad wouldn't get it for him. This kid started pitching a fit in the store, crying...screaming (the usual tantrum). We got to listen to that for 45 minutes. We also had the joy of being in front of this kid and his dad in line to check out (more high pitched screaming and crying). The dad is trying to console this kid...but it doesn't stop him. When they got outside, the kid lays down on the sidewalk and basically starts thrashing and screaming and crying. Meanwhile, the dad is PLEADING with his 4 yr old to stop. WTH?? Why is a grown man trying to conjole this spoiled little brat? WHY do parents do this?

To any of you older people, what would your parents have done? I have one very distinct memory of pitching a fit for some doll. My parents took me out to the car and I got spanked there. Once we got home, I got the leather belt. I remember this spanking the most b/c the welp marks bled.... I'm so tired of this lack of discipline in kids. I have come across some of the rudest little twerps EVER, and am so happy I don't have any of my own. I know for a fact my temper would get the best of me if I had one.

rant over.

Yeah I would NEVER take a belt to my child. how horrible. Kids throw fits, kids throw long, screaming fits, it does not matter if they are well disciplined or not, a child is a child and they throw fits!!! The poor man was probably embarrassed and wanted to finish what he needed to do, and just wanted his kid to stop. How dare you place judgement on him. It is people like you that give parents dirty looks in stores and judge them because their child is throwing a fit. Who's child has not thrown a fit in the store before? Mine certainly has, and it is none of your business or concern how other people discipline their children. Hitting them with a hand or a belt is never an option.
But go ahead and keep promoting child abuse.

Doodlewhopper

The new parent has un-tested abilities & no previous experience. There will be mistakes; but generally these mistakes will clean up in the wash for sincere parents. I take my responsibility as a parent serious. My job is to build a solid base of sound principles - respect, love, empathy, grace, ethics, etc. As a parent I have made many mistakes; but they are results of honest effort; and I have learned from them.

Lesson learned: Spanking is appropriate because a young child has yet to subscribe to logic. As the child develops then other means of discipline can be effective, but spanking should remain an option.

My sons were held accountable. They were spanked. They were also kissed daily and we exchanged "I love yous" until one day (around 15 years old) it became awkward for them, so we backed off. Now we no longer need to state the obvious. They are respectful, considerate, responsible... and a fact I am proud of - each have custody of their daughters (since they were toddlers)

Now, you people who are too "educated" to spank and discipline your children deserve all the future trouble you get. I am totally disgusted with your lib attitude. Most of you are lazy and poor parents who should never have had children.

I cant begin to tell you how much I enjoy sitting in a restaurant, 5 feet away from your spawn of satan brat - screaming. It's not the kid, it's you who I loathe. You have no regard or consideration for others & this is the lesson that you are teaching your spawn. You are irresponsible & inept.

ethieman

A) YOU have no idea what this parent is going through with this child. The child could have autism or sensory issues or name some other problem. How do you know for sure that was his father? Could have been a male relative giving a parent a break.

It's confusing to me that we Americans can hit/beat children all we want, but if you hit/beat someone over the age of 18, it is considered illegal and you can be tried in a court of law.

We continue to feel that corporal punishment is necessary, and many posters on here feel that parents not hitting their kids is why society has gone to ****. There is a reason the US has the highest school violence rates in the WORLD...when adults respond to misbehavior with anger, that teaches children that anger and physically lashing out is the appropriate response to things that upset/frustrate them.

C) I'm formerly a high school teacher, now teaching students how to be teachers. If teachers can handle a room full of kids without ever touching them, why can't a parent deal with a handful or less without touching them? I took 42 kids on a 4 day trip with one other chaperone and had NO problems (they were not all shining examples of students either, many had behavior problems with other teachers). There are MANY cultures that do not ever hit their children (Japanese and Indian are two that I'm familiar with), and it's interesting to me that they do not have the violence issues that the U.S.A. does.

D) Hitting a kid is not the only way to make them respectful and successful adults. Corporal punishment was not promoted in my family at all. We had consequences that varied according to the misbehavior, which I'm sure were MUCH more difficult for my parents to monitor than simply hitting us would have been. We all turned out ok by most people's standards...in my family of 4 children: the youngest is playing college football, my younger sister has an office in the capitol building in Washington, D.C., I will begin a new job as a professor at a major university this summer after completion of my Ph.D., and my older sister does PR and marketing for a large union in Washington, D.C.

Pedal_Pusher

I don't believe in hitting. ever. for any reason. period. Violence is violence.

Doodlewhopper

Ever notice that those who do not have children have all the answers? LOL

rml_16

She's 18. So much more than what?

Age has nothing to do with potential. Unless achieving 18 was the goal?

Had you reached your full potential at 18? She just finished high school and started college. She's a confident, beautiful, healthy, happy, not-afraid-of-anything young woman. She's smart. She's sweet. She's full of empathy and love and compassion. She's a good person who people adore. She has a sense of humor. She's a wonderful, amazing human being.

She doesn't drink, she has no interest in drugs. She doesn't smoke. Not because she was ever threatened with punishment for those things (I have even allowed her to drink in my home over the years) but because she chooses not to. She isn't susceptible to negative peer pressure.

But what she will achieve for the rest of her life is still a mystery. At 18, you just don't know yet what most people are going to achieve,

Clearly, a few spankings in her youth did not negatively affect her.

If your children have half the childhood she (or I!) had, they will be very lucky children.

I'm going for even better.

You can't make that statement. You don't know what our childhoods were like. It would be quite difficult to make your children's better.

taunto

Ever notice that those who do not have children have all the answers? LOL

Ever noticed that those who do have children have all the excuses? LOL

madworld1

Ever notice that those who do not have children have all the answers? LOL

My thoughts exactly.

ngressman

WOW, a lot of you people are pretty harsh and nasty about this. I agree that parents letting kids get away with throwing tantrums in public (really at home too) is ridiculous. But all of you people telling the OP to not have kids, or that she'll be "an amazing mother" and being sarcastic, smart a$$es about it is just as bad. This is coming from a single dad of an 8 year old son. There have been a few times where he tried to throw tantrums but it was squashed right then and there. I can probably count on one hand the number of tantrums he's thrown in his entire life. Never spanked or hit him, just never acknowledged the tantrum and it stopped after he got bored with it then I walked to him about it and took things away from him. And guess what? He's not some wierd kid that was negatively impacted because I stopped him from throwing tantrums or acting out.

Your kid can want to throw tantrums all they want but if you let it go on or give it any kind of attention then they will continue to happen. All of the people that say "kids will just do that" and are satisfied with that are part of the issue with this country and world. They are happy letting things go on no matter if it's right, bothers anyone else, or teaches the kid anything worthwile. They let it happen because it is easy for them. By letting the kids get away with it tells them that it is ok to do.

It's just like a kid touching a stove. If they touch it a hundred times and it's cold, then they think it's ok and will continue to do it. If it's hot one time, they learn never to do it again.

People need to be parents and quit saying "that's what they do." I'm 28 and never had my parents spank or belt me or anything like that. Anytime my brother, sister, or I got out of line we heard about it. Guess what?? That stuff stopped pretty quick.

OP, i completely agree with you that it is nuts the dad let the kid's tantrum continue like it did. People need to be parents and quit trying to be their kids' best friend. My parents worked more on being parents than my friend, and I respect them more for that and they are some of my best friends for it.

I think the reason most people are telling her to not have kids is the fact that she seems to think that spanking a child with a belt until he/she bleeds is an acceptable form of punishment. At least that's the problem I have with it.

madworld1

There is a HUGE difference between spanking and beating. Previous generations (think grandparents, great grandparents) got spankings. In my experience, they are a very respectful generation.

MinMin97

Ever notice that those who do not have children have all the answers? LOL

Ever noticed that those who do have children have all the excuses? LOL

What do you mean, Taunto?

moosegt35

ROFL. Scary to be a 4 year old? Wow. Just wow. Yea, its the roughest part of your life, you have to eat, try not to sh1t and piss your pants and not act like a demon constantly. How many bills and resposibilities does a 4 year old have? You people are pathetic. And who said anything about hitting with objects? One little lick with an open hand on the *kitten* and a strong voice always worked on me.

#1: Who said anything about hitting with objects? The OP who said she was beaten with a belt until she bled. The very genesis of this thread was hitting with objects.

#2: Not scary to be a 4 year old? You think bills and responsibilities are scary? You're a coward. To a 4 year old, the monsters in the closet ARE REAL. There are REALLY MONSTERS THAT WILL EAT YOU, while you sleep. Steal your genitals while you sit on a toilet. They don't understand reality yet because they are only four. And you think they're *kitten*, good for you. Further, they have no control over anything. They have no money, no job, no choice in ANYTHING. They are completely dependent on their parents . . . which, for some kids, are probably a bit worse than others.

Yes, the OP did say her parents hit her with a belt till she bled, that isn't the correct thing to do. That also isn't a spanking, that is a beating. Spankings are perfectly fine and I don't think she suggested beating the child until it bled.

Bills and responsibilities don't scare me one bit, they can be stressful at times though. I am 26 and have owned my own home since 22, paid for my college and have 0 debt other than my car and home. So I wouldn't say I am a coward. If a 4 year old believes all of that then they should be put in a special school to find out what is wrong with them and who taught them that crap. Are these closet monsters at the store and restaurants causing them to act like mutants? More excuses for the kids to act out, good going.

ImprovingEla

Ever notice that those who do not have children have all the answers? LOL

Ever noticed that those who do have children have all the excuses? LOL

What do you mean, Taunto?

All those with no kids seem thinks, that this is a normal child, all those with children seem to think that this kid in the first post, suffers from autism or another disease!!

penrbrown

Ever notice that those who do not have children have all the answers? LOL

Ever noticed that those who do have children have all the excuses? LOL

Ever noticed that those who are ambiguous make the best comments? LOL!

Pedal_Pusher

"and am so happy I don't have any of my own. I know for a fact my temper would get the best of me if I had one. " <~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~I'm happy you don't have any either. Hitting kids is wrong. period.

Doodlewhopper

A) YOU have no idea what this parent is going through with this child. The child could have autism or sensory issues or name some other problem. How do you know for sure that was his father? Could have been a male relative giving a parent a break.

It's confusing to me that we Americans can hit/beat children all we want, but if you hit/beat someone over the age of 18, it is considered illegal and you can be tried in a court of law.

We continue to feel that corporal punishment is necessary, and many posters on here feel that parents not hitting their kids is why society has gone to ****. There is a reason the US has the highest school violence rates in the WORLD...when adults respond to misbehavior with anger, that teaches children that anger and physically lashing out is the appropriate response to things that upset/frustrate them.

C) I'm formerly a high school teacher, now teaching students how to be teachers. If teachers can handle a room full of kids without ever touching them, why can't a parent deal with a handful or less without touching them? I took 42 kids on a 4 day trip with one other chaperone and had NO problems (they were not all shining examples of students either, many had behavior problems with other teachers). There are MANY cultures that do not ever hit their children (Japanese and Indian are two that I'm familiar with), and it's interesting to me that they do not have the violence issues that the U.S.A. does.

D) Hitting a kid is not the only way to make them respectful and successful adults. Corporal punishment was not promoted in my family at all. We had consequences that varied according to the misbehavior, which I'm sure were MUCH more difficult for my parents to monitor than simply hitting us would have been. We all turned out ok by most people's standards...in my family of 4 children: the youngest is playing college football, my younger sister has an office in the capitol building in Washington, D.C., I will begin a new job as a professor at a major university this summer after completion of my Ph.D., and my older sister does PR and marketing for a large union in Washington, D.C.

You are misinformed and have stated many inaccuracies and untruths.

Here are some facts for you as reported by a U.K. News Source

"UK is violent crime capital of Europe"

<<<The total number of violent offences recorded compared to population is higher than any other country in Europe, as well as America, Canada, Australia and South Africa.>>>

<<<The UK had a greater number of murders in 2007 than any other EU country – 927 – and at a relative rate higher than most western European neighbours, including France, Germany, Italy and Spain. >>>

<<<Overall, 5.4 million crimes were recorded in the UK in 2007 - more than 10 a minute - second only to Sweden>>>

<<< It means there are over 2,000 crimes recorded per 100,000 population in the UK, making it the most violent place in Europe.

Austria is second, with a rate of 1,677 per 100,000 people, followed by Sweden, Belgium, Finland and Holland.

By comparison, America has an estimated rate of 466 violent crimes per 100,000 population. >>>

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/law-and-order/5712573/UK-is-violent-crime-capital-of-Europe.html

kelsully

I was in Michaels yesterday and this father and son were shopping. I guess his kid (who looked around 3 or 4) wanted something, but dad wouldn't get it for him. This kid started pitching a fit in the store, crying...screaming (the usual tantrum). We got to listen to that for 45 minutes. We also had the joy of being in front of this kid and his dad in line to check out (more high pitched screaming and crying). The dad is trying to console this kid...but it doesn't stop him. When they got outside, the kid lays down on the sidewalk and basically starts thrashing and screaming and crying. Meanwhile, the dad is PLEADING with his 4 yr old to stop. WTH?? Why is a grown man trying to conjole this spoiled little brat? WHY do parents do this?

To any of you older people, what would your parents have done? I have one very distinct memory of pitching a fit for some doll. My parents took me out to the car and I got spanked there. Once we got home, I got the leather belt. I remember this spanking the most b/c the welp marks bled.... I'm so tired of this lack of discipline in kids. I have come across some of the rudest little twerps EVER, and am so happy I don't have any of my own. I know for a fact my temper would get the best of me if I had one.

rant over.

Rant beginning
You do not have any idea the history of that child/parent thus do not have any idea if the child is actually a spoiled rotten brat or not.
Did dad buy him what he wanted?
Did dad give in to the child's demands?

Perhaps child has autism and this is a fit that the child does not want to be experiencing any more than the parent and the pleading comes from the family pain in wishing this poor child did not have to deal with this.

Maybe the kid was a brat and the dad was horrible but without knowing any more about the kid and dad than what you think you observed you were mildly inconvenienced for a short time in your life. Get over it.

FrenchMob

We continue to feel that corporal punishment is necessary, and many posters on here feel that parents not hitting their kids is why society has gone to ****. There is a reason the US has the highest school violence rates in the WORLD...when adults respond to misbehavior with anger, that teaches children that anger and physically lashing out is the appropriate response to things that upset/frustrate them.

Seriously? You're playing the Connecticut card for corporal punishment? If that's not reaching I don't know what is.

I don't care what anyone says, spanking is a VERY effective method. Same as guns, spanking has been around for a very long time, and school violence only started getting bad in the last 10 years, so give it a rest. If anything, I blame the pussification of parents/society/government for the uncontrolled behavior of kids these days. In general, North America has become pussified.

moosegt35

OK people. I never suggested they beat a kid until they bled. I DID suggest they spank them though...not necessarily with a belt, but at the very least the palm of their hand. I probably should have not posted at all.

There you go

are you a whiney *kitten* in every thread?

AngryDiet

You can't make that statement. You don't know what our childhoods were like. It would be quite difficult to make your children's better.

Sure I can. You encouraged it by attempting to turn this into a contest of who's child turns out better.

If my children have a childhood as good as yours or hers, minus the hitting, I'll be satisfied that it is better. So there's that.

After arguing that if there were no bruises or cuts it must be OK, there isn't really much left for you to say. Unless you feel you can go lower?