Christmas, porn & a nasty virus

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  • NormalSaneFLGuy
    NormalSaneFLGuy Posts: 1,344 Member
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    at least it's just a computer virus and porn, I can think of worse things involving viruses and guys with sexual experimentation

    like strep throat and oral?
  • cmpollard01
    cmpollard01 Posts: 246
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    What kind of church is he a pastor for? You need to speak to his superiors and initiate an invervention. They will understand your position because they will also want him to live a pure life. How can the shepherd lead a flock if he himself has gone astray? You can conquer the immorality together and get back onto a virtuous path, but you need to act on it and seek outside support. If he won't listen, you must speak to the members of your church and get them to rally around him in support. That supportive network will surely enable him to align his actions with the savior once again.

    I agree in part. Have a serious conversation with him about his need and desire to get this area of his life under control. If he is willing, seek Christian counseling together. Even if he isn't willing, seek counseling for yourself. This is a difficult, and sadly, very prevalent problem in many relationships today-for the churched and the unchurched. Let's face it, as a pastor's wife, you know maybe more than anyone that just because you're a Christian and a church goer, you are not precluded from sin or non-perfect living. I have a family member who has sought couseling for this type of addiction, and it has helped so much. The spouse in that situation is very involved in the process, and that has helped their relationship. He will have setbacks, but he truly needs to seek help before this destroys his personal and professional life.

    As for the virus-all you need is a really good virus blocker or malware remover. I've had a similar program mess with my computer-for downloading music. Gotta love em!

    Good luck with this situation...it isn't easy, but you seem like a strong woman who can help bring her marriage into the place she wants it to be. I'll be praying for you!
  • treetpflyer
    treetpflyer Posts: 184 Member
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    Let me say a few more things..

    1) This is a "temporary" account because I have friends on my MFP that go to our church also. I didn't want them to see this post and know what was going on in our personal life. So if you're concerned that this is fake because it is my only post - this is why.. :-)

    2) I have watched it with him in an attempt to save our relationship. That is why we agreed that he would tell me when he had a desire to watch it, so that we could either watch it together, or work it out in another way... I personally have a moral issue with watching porn. It just isn't something that I feel I can do as a Christian. To help him, I compromised.. For all those out there who do, that's between you and your beliefs.

    In this case then I would demand that he gets help. What would he recommend one of his church members do if they came to him with this issue?

    It sounds like he does have a problem with self control and if it isn't porn it will be something else he sneaks around doing to satisfy his urges.
  • d_Mode
    d_Mode Posts: 880 Member
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    I say ...call a TV Station or your local paper...they would have a field day with this sort of thing...a pastor, viewing porn gets a nasty virus. I'm shocked!!
  • thekyleo
    thekyleo Posts: 632 Member
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    Leave it alone, NO GODS, NO MASTERS
  • Juliejustsaying
    Juliejustsaying Posts: 2,332 Member
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    whatever...

    Ok, I've deleted a couple answers so far...but I'm gonna leave it like this...I have a real problem with people using a marriage license to control their partner.
  • oregonzoo
    oregonzoo Posts: 4,251 Member
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    I say ...call a TV Station or your local paper...they would have a field day with this sort of thing...a pastor, viewing porn gets a nasty virus. I'm shocked!!
    The media wouldn't care. It's not in the least schocking. And to suggest this woman sell out her husband to the news is kind of crazy.
  • treetpflyer
    treetpflyer Posts: 184 Member
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    The problem is not that he is looking at porn. The problem is that he is getting in front of a group of people and portraying an image of himself that is false. The other problem is he is doing this against his wife's wishes and had he not got the virus he would still be doing it.
  • TheRoadDog
    TheRoadDog Posts: 11,788 Member
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    Troll.
  • NormalSaneFLGuy
    NormalSaneFLGuy Posts: 1,344 Member
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    at least it's just a computer virus and porn, I can think of worse things involving viruses and guys with sexual experimentation

    like strep throat and oral?

    that would be one of many...

    what about avian influenza?
  • JustJennie1
    JustJennie1 Posts: 3,843 Member
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    Let me say a few more things..

    1) This is a "temporary" account because I have friends on my MFP that go to our church also. I didn't want them to see this post and know what was going on in our personal life. So if you're concerned that this is fake because it is my only post - this is why.. :-)

    And your MFP friends who go to your church aren't going to recognize you through this "cryptic" post??:huh: :noway:
  • NormalSaneFLGuy
    NormalSaneFLGuy Posts: 1,344 Member
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    Leave it alone, NO GODS, NO MASTERS

    I get the feeling you are secretly trying to divert the thread off topic. I don't appreciate that.
  • 33Freya
    33Freya Posts: 468 Member
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    He has an addiction, go get counseling.
  • WendyTerry420
    WendyTerry420 Posts: 13,274 Member
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    For some porn is okay, others find it demeaning to men AND women. I'm one of those who thinks porn is demeaning.

    I would never watch porn with my husband. As your husband is a pastor this is doubly bad on his part.

    You need to talk to him and perhaps some counseling is in order?

    Demeaning to whom? To the people making tons of money and do this of their own free will, or to the couples who find it an alternative to taking drugs?
  • 5stringjeff
    5stringjeff Posts: 790 Member
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    I agree in part. Have a serious conversation with him about his need and desire to get this area of his life under control. If he is willing, seek Christian counseling together. Even if he isn't willing, seek counseling for yourself. This is a difficult, and sadly, very prevalent problem in many relationships today-for the churched and the unchurched. Let's face it, as a pastor's wife, you know maybe more than anyone that just because you're a Christian and a church goer, you are not precluded from sin or non-perfect living. I have a family member who has sought couseling for this type of addiction, and it has helped so much. The spouse in that situation is very involved in the process, and that has helped their relationship. He will have setbacks, but he truly needs to seek help before this destroys his personal and professional life.

    As for the virus-all you need is a really good virus blocker or malware remover. I've had a similar program mess with my computer-for downloading music. Gotta love em!

    Good luck with this situation...it isn't easy, but you seem like a strong woman who can help bring her marriage into the place she wants it to be. I'll be praying for you!

    This x 1000. Your husband needs counseling to quit porn (pastor or not, but especailly since he is a pastor), and you both need counseling to begin to repair your marriage.
  • Christabelle79
    Christabelle79 Posts: 80 Member
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    I agree with TheRoadDog, the OP is a troll. Or at least not completely honest. I don't understand the mindset of a woman who would create a whole new account to come onto a weightloss website to post about her husband looking at porn. A few things:

    a) Shouldn't the OP be talking to her husband about her feelings?
    b) If the woman feels she can't talk to her husband, then it might be time to bring in a mediator
    c) If a mediator isn't an option, get a divorce.

    This is such a devastating issue for the OP that instead of putting on her big girl panties she came to a website, under a noob account, to talk to her "friends," none of which will know it's her. Could it have been that the husband was up at 4 am to be Santa and got amorous but didn't want to wake the OP?

    What I would be worried about is if the "pastor" was really looking at kiddie porn. Dig deeper OP, there may be something you missed.
  • Jymm
    Jymm Posts: 28 Member
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    Actually it's the church goers and particularly the pastors and preachers that can't seem to stay away from porn. Back a few years ago when i worked with the public a local girl was the playboy centerfold one month. Twice i had people come in the store after a men had bought the Playboys saying that they just wanted to see what she said in the article (ya right) wonder why their preachers were all the way over in that part of town . So for my own amusement I started making sure that when people brought two magazines to the counter (a playboy under a more respectable magazine) I would pick up the playboy to look at the price :). One guy i know was a preacher because i heard some of his church buddies calling him brother called me three different profane words in one breath when i picked up his copy of playboy. Church goers seem to think they have to have a weakness for some kind of porn i don't know why. They are fed the idea that they have to be weak so that god can save them I guess.
  • pastorswife78
    pastorswife78 Posts: 4
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    Thank you everyone for the replies. Some have been very helpful while others have been snarky (as expected). This is a real problem for me and I sincerely appreciate those that have offered valid advice.
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