Christmas, porn & a nasty virus

Christabelle79

Wait, do you burn calories watching porn?

If you do it right! :embarassed:

sm1zzle

honestly ( i hope i wont get attacked )

you guy needs to get laid more

Your an idiot. Way to blame it on her instead of thinking maybe he's the one with the problem. I dated a guy who had a porn addiction and it didn't matter how many times we had sex he still felt the need to look at porn ALL the time. It's an addiction.

Only an idiot would condem someone for simply stating their opinion.

Grow up.

Isn't that what you just did?

SNAP!

With all of the snapping you missed out on the underlying sarcasm created by the use of the word Idiot.

tsk, tsk.

WendyTerry420

For some porn is okay, others find it demeaning to men AND women. I'm one of those who thinks porn is demeaning.

I would never watch porn with my husband. As your husband is a pastor this is doubly bad on his part.

You need to talk to him and perhaps some counseling is in order?

Demeaning to whom? To the people making tons of money and do this of their own free will, or to the couples who find it an alternative to taking drugs?

Exactly or swinging with other couples. Or kidnapping and ....

You see where I am going with this?

Well now, kidnapping implies that someone initiated force. If it's not of your own free will, then that's a WHOLE other topic indeed.

quirkytizzy

Pray for him and still love him. Ask Good to remove his desire to view the porn. You may have to fast, also. Good luck, I am praying for you!

Say what???? What's that got to do with anything?

WendyTerry420

Watch the porn with him. Then at least, you're together, and maybe you'll learn something new. :flowerforyou:

^^ This.. It only becomes as big of an issue as you both allow it to become.

Seriously? There is a difference between a guy randomly looking at porn and waking up at 4a.m. on Christmas to look at porn. Are you ****ing kidding me? That's NOT normal. You all are making it seem like it's no big deal and some how HER fault and she should just join in. He's the one with the issue. There is a difference between someone who looks at porn occasionally and someone who is addicted to porn.

I guess it's a good thing that I'm not normal. Normal sounds VERY boring the way you just put it. :ohwell:

(And FTR, I never said it was OP's fault. And OP never said he was addicted to it. In fact, it sounds like she condoned it until he woke her up at 4am to tell her about the virus. It sounds like the virus is the real problem. And someone already pointed out to boot up in safe mode and run a good malware program.)

sm1zzle

Pray for him and still love him. Ask Good to remove his desire to view the porn. You may have to fast, also. Good luck, I am praying for you!

Say what???? What's that got to do with anything?

Eggzactly.

I'm guessing it may be a Catholic thing though ?

corn63

Watch the porn with him. Then at least, you're together, and maybe you'll learn something new. :flowerforyou:

^^ This.. It only becomes as big of an issue as you both allow it to become.

Seriously? There is a difference between a guy randomly looking at porn and waking up at 4a.m. on Christmas to look at porn. Are you ****ing kidding me? That's NOT normal. You all are making it seem like it's no big deal and some how HER fault and she should just join in. He's the one with the issue. There is a difference between someone who looks at porn occasionally and someone who is addicted to porn.

I guess it's a good thing that I'm not normal. Normal sounds VERY boring the way you just put it. :ohwell:

(And FTR, I never said it was OP's fault. And OP never said he was addicted to it. In fact, it sounds like she condoned it until he woke her up at 4am to tell her about the virus. It sounds like the virus is the real problem. And someone already pointed out to boot up in safe mode and run a good malware program.)

She already stated that she's upset that they had the agreement that he'd come to her if he wanted to watch -- he didn't. And he snuck out of bed at 4am to look at it. He probably never would've told her about it had he never got a virus on the computer.

WendyTerry420

Watch the porn with him. Then at least, you're together, and maybe you'll learn something new. :flowerforyou:

^^ This.. It only becomes as big of an issue as you both allow it to become.

Seriously? There is a difference between a guy randomly looking at porn and waking up at 4a.m. on Christmas to look at porn. Are you ****ing kidding me? That's NOT normal. You all are making it seem like it's no big deal and some how HER fault and she should just join in. He's the one with the issue. There is a difference between someone who looks at porn occasionally and someone who is addicted to porn.

I guess it's a good thing that I'm not normal. Normal sounds VERY boring the way you just put it. :ohwell:

(And FTR, I never said it was OP's fault. And OP never said he was addicted to it. In fact, it sounds like she condoned it until he woke her up at 4am to tell her about the virus. It sounds like the virus is the real problem. And someone already pointed out to boot up in safe mode and run a good malware program.)

She already stated that she's upset that they had the agreement that he'd come to her if he wanted to watch -- he didn't. And he snuck out of bed at 4am to look at it. He probably never would've told her about it had he never got a virus on the computer.

Right. So it sounds like this was an out of the ordinary thing, not an addiction, per se.

But honestly, who hasn't found themselves feeling a little randy at 4am, just out of nowhere, amirite?

WendyTerry420

Pray for him and still love him. Ask Good to remove his desire to view the porn. You may have to fast, also. Good luck, I am praying for you!

Say what???? What's that got to do with anything?

Eggzactly.

I'm guessing it may be a Catholic thing though ?

I'm still wondering who "Good" is. *shrugs*

sm1zzle

Watch the porn with him. Then at least, you're together, and maybe you'll learn something new. :flowerforyou:

^^ This.. It only becomes as big of an issue as you both allow it to become.

Seriously? There is a difference between a guy randomly looking at porn and waking up at 4a.m. on Christmas to look at porn. Are you ****ing kidding me? That's NOT normal. You all are making it seem like it's no big deal and some how HER fault and she should just join in. He's the one with the issue. There is a difference between someone who looks at porn occasionally and someone who is addicted to porn.

I guess it's a good thing that I'm not normal. Normal sounds VERY boring the way you just put it. :ohwell:

(And FTR, I never said it was OP's fault. And OP never said he was addicted to it. In fact, it sounds like she condoned it until he woke her up at 4am to tell her about the virus. It sounds like the virus is the real problem. And someone already pointed out to boot up in safe mode and run a good malware program.)

She already stated that she's upset that they had the agreement that he'd come to her if he wanted to watch -- he didn't. And he snuck out of bed at 4am to look at it. He probably never would've told her about it had he never got a virus on the computer.

Right. So it sounds like this was an out of the ordinary thing, not an addiction, per se.

But honestly, who hasn't found themselves feeling a little randy at 4am, just out of nowhere, amirite?

As if there's some kind of time that is considered Porn Free. Silly prudes

tomomatic

It sounds to me like you're sinless and therefore casting the first stone.

First, take care of the immediate issue, your computer. Unplug the machine from the network and start backing up the files you want to keep. There's a chance that the virus/spyware installed a keylogger that will try to get your passwords, or SSN's. Use the manufacture's hard drive image to restore the computer to factory settings. It's the best way to make sure that you're machine is virus and spyware free.

Second, don't judge your husband unless you want to be judged, too. Forcing him into counseling would be an embarrassment for a pastor. If you feel the need to regulate him on his machine, you can introduce parental controls. But realize this: there's no way to lock everything down. he's got tablets, smart phones, Macy's newspaper ads, Victoria Secret catalogs. "Tantalizing material" is out there.

Third, accept that your man isn't perfect. If you measure anyone against Jesus Christ, we're all going to fall short. I feel like the last thing you want to do is make yourself less approachable by forcing him into lying about it. That will damage your relationship with him. For Christians, the journey is about being more like Christ... but it's a journey. It doesn't happen overnight and it doesn't happen alone. Maybe work on finding another outlet...video games?

Anyways, sincerely, best of luck.

Sabine_Stroehm

whatever...

Ok, I've deleted a couple answers so far...but I'm gonna leave it like this...I have a real problem with people using a marriage license to control their partner.

Out of curiosity, are you married?

FTR, I've been married 18 years, and I completely agree that a marriage license does not mean you get to control your partner.

I didn't say it did. FTR.

Juliejustsaying

whatever...

Ok, I've deleted a couple answers so far...but I'm gonna leave it like this...I have a real problem with people using a marriage license to control their partner.

Out of curiosity, are you married?

was, happily divorced for 8 years...from a control freak who left me so scarred and scared that I didn't date for 8 years.

Crankstr

Watch the porn with him. Then at least, you're together, and maybe you'll learn something new. :flowerforyou:

^^ This.. It only becomes as big of an issue as you both allow it to become.

Seriously? There is a difference between a guy randomly looking at porn and waking up at 4a.m. on Christmas to look at porn. Are you ****ing kidding me? That's NOT normal. You all are making it seem like it's no big deal and some how HER fault and she should just join in. He's the one with the issue. There is a difference between someone who looks at porn occasionally and someone who is addicted to porn.

I guess it's a good thing that I'm not normal. Normal sounds VERY boring the way you just put it. :ohwell:

(And FTR, I never said it was OP's fault. And OP never said he was addicted to it. In fact, it sounds like she condoned it until he woke her up at 4am to tell her about the virus. It sounds like the virus is the real problem. And someone already pointed out to boot up in safe mode and run a good malware program.)

She already stated that she's upset that they had the agreement that he'd come to her if he wanted to watch -- he didn't. And he snuck out of bed at 4am to look at it. He probably never would've told her about it had he never got a virus on the computer.

Right. So it sounds like this was an out of the ordinary thing, not an addiction, per se.

But honestly, who hasn't found themselves feeling a little randy at 4am, just out of nowhere, amirite?

As if there's some kind of time that is considered Porn Free. Silly prudes

not a prude..but randy at 4am? wake me up!!!!!!!

PikaKnight

Watch the porn with him. Then at least, you're together, and maybe you'll learn something new. :flowerforyou:

^^ This.. It only becomes as big of an issue as you both allow it to become.

Seriously? There is a difference between a guy randomly looking at porn and waking up at 4a.m. on Christmas to look at porn. Are you ****ing kidding me? That's NOT normal. You all are making it seem like it's no big deal and some how HER fault and she should just join in. He's the one with the issue. There is a difference between someone who looks at porn occasionally and someone who is addicted to porn.

I guess it's a good thing that I'm not normal. Normal sounds VERY boring the way you just put it. :ohwell:

(And FTR, I never said it was OP's fault. And OP never said he was addicted to it. In fact, it sounds like she condoned it until he woke her up at 4am to tell her about the virus. It sounds like the virus is the real problem. And someone already pointed out to boot up in safe mode and run a good malware program.)

She already stated that she's upset that they had the agreement that he'd come to her if he wanted to watch -- he didn't. And he snuck out of bed at 4am to look at it. He probably never would've told her about it had he never got a virus on the computer.

Right. So it sounds like this was an out of the ordinary thing, not an addiction, per se.

But honestly, who hasn't found themselves feeling a little randy at 4am, just out of nowhere, amirite?

hi5! hahaha. I don't know what is so bad with porn. And maybe I missed it, but are you all sure he's an addict? Or are you assuming that he is because he got a virus or two?

NormalSaneFLGuy

honestly ( i hope i wont get attacked )

you guy needs to get laid more

Your an idiot. Way to blame it on her instead of thinking maybe he's the one with the problem. I dated a guy who had a porn addiction and it didn't matter how many times we had sex he still felt the need to look at porn ALL the time. It's an addiction.

Only an idiot would condem someone for simply stating their opinion.

Grow up.

Isn't that what you just did?

SNAP!

With all of the snapping you missed out on the underlying sarcasm created by the use of the word Idiot.

tsk, tsk.

With all the quotes, you must have assumed I read any of it.

NormalSaneFLGuy

Leave it alone, NO GODS, NO MASTERS

That's no fun.

You. Now I like you.

But you don't like me?
Sexist!

Sorry but those little duck feet creep me out. Maybe with a wig and some lipstick. . .

do you love me now?

Yes. Yes I do.

well hello there!

MoreBean13

You need a copy of "50 shades of Grey"

Merry Christmas.

jeleclekat

Let me say a few more things..

1) This is a "temporary" account because I have friends on my MFP that go to our church also. I didn't want them to see this post and know what was going on in our personal life. So if you're concerned that this is fake because it is my only post - this is why.. :-)

2) I have watched it with him in an attempt to save our relationship. That is why we agreed that he would tell me when he had a desire to watch it, so that we could either watch it together, or work it out in another way... I personally have a moral issue with watching porn. It just isn't something that I feel I can do as a Christian. To help him, I compromised.. For all those out there who do, that's between you and your beliefs.

Why did you even bother posting under a temporary account? It isn't really an issue to be dealt with here. What results do you hope to get from us? What you already know I would expect. You either deal with it and accept it as a spouse, you search professional help if you can't, or you leave. I wouldn't bring it here.

PikaKnight

Let me say a few more things..

1) This is a "temporary" account because I have friends on my MFP that go to our church also. I didn't want them to see this post and know what was going on in our personal life. So if you're concerned that this is fake because it is my only post - this is why.. :-)

2) I have watched it with him in an attempt to save our relationship. That is why we agreed that he would tell me when he had a desire to watch it, so that we could either watch it together, or work it out in another way... I personally have a moral issue with watching porn. It just isn't something that I feel I can do as a Christian. To help him, I compromised.. For all those out there who do, that's between you and your beliefs.

Why did you even bother posting under a temporary account? It isn't really an issue to be dealt with here. What results do you hope to get from us? What you already know I would expect. You either deal with it and accept it as a spouse, you search professional help if you can't, or you leave. I wouldn't bring it here.

^ Damn..what she said..hahahaha