An ex attack

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  • MightyDomo
    MightyDomo Posts: 1,265 Member
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    If you still kind of feel it then that's why it bothers you so much. And he is a dillwad for even saying something like that after only a 2 month relationship. Sounds like he needs some growing up to do and you need to keep loving yourself!
  • bugaha1
    bugaha1 Posts: 602 Member
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    Guys like that usually grow up watching their Dad’s talk to their Mom like that. He may try and come back and apologize but you should never let him back. Believe me not all guys are like that. Good Luck!
  • UsedToBeHusky
    UsedToBeHusky Posts: 15,229 Member
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    Oh my...we had already broken up prior to this message. I had also broken ALL ties with him prior to this message. So BREAK UP doesn't apply in the literal sense. I'm assuming she meant something else. Which is fine, but I can understand why people took it the wrong way, because, obviously, there is no one to break up with at this point.

    You were trying to be friends with the guy even though you broke up with him. It's very likely that he misconstrued your intentions towards him as a friend. Therefore, the break up really wasn't cemented with him. What she meant by saying "Just break up" is that you need to cut ties with the guy completely. Which is what most everyone else who responded said.
  • danasings
    danasings Posts: 8,218 Member
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    I haven't read many of the responses, so if I am repeating, I apologize.

    First of all, you are beautiful. I looked through your photos, and you probably can't see how gorgeous you are. I hope that you can one day. I think that's one of the biggest challenges women face, especially if we grow up being tormented by name-calling and body-shaming.

    You may not see how much of a mixed blessing this confrontation with him is. He has shown you exactly what kind of a manipulative, petty, lowlife b*stard he is. You teach people how to treat you...you can choose to spend your time with people that treat you well. So go choose someone that treats you with kindness and respect. And as for how you feel right now, a little more time will help you move past it. :heart:
  • legnarevocrednu
    legnarevocrednu Posts: 467 Member
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    I just wanted to say thanks again for everyones advice, kind words, compliments etc. You all are great and today, I'm proud to be a member here.

    Regarding the other topic going on here...let's just let it drop and move on. This topic has been exhausted in many forms.
  • vim_n_vigor
    vim_n_vigor Posts: 4,089 Member
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    So, you are friends with someone who has been dating someone for 2 months who says something this ****ty to them and 'just break up' seems like a mean thing to say in response? That is supportive and that is giving her very good advice. Someone who is willing to pick at your biggest vulnerabilities this early on in a relationship isn't going to magically turn into a gem of a boyfriend later on.
    Oh my...we had already broken up prior to this message. I had also broken ALL ties with him prior to this message. So BREAK UP doesn't apply in the literal sense. I'm assuming she meant something else. Which is fine, but I can understand why people took it the wrong way, because, obviously, there is no one to break up with at this point.

    I'm not trying to rattle you or your friend here. At 2 months, you are still in that honeymoon stage of the relationship. If he can hurt you that badly so early on, that is a really bad long term outlook for the relationship. This is really important to understand. When people are in very long term relationships, there can be times, especially during very stressful times when fights like this happen and generally, both people feel very ****ty about it. I'm glad you have broken things off both in the relationship and as friends. What he said was beyond hurtful and awful. Try not to dwell on it, even though something like that doesn't go away quickly.
  • bdeezy3396
    bdeezy3396 Posts: 89 Member
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    People that care about you don't make those comments no matter how mad they are. Don't know what his problem is other than being an @$$, sometimes people need to put people down in order to feel good about themselves. I don't care how much weight my wife gains or loses she's still the most beautiful, sexy woman I know.
  • perfectingpatti
    perfectingpatti Posts: 1,037 Member
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    Oh my...we had already broken up prior to this message. I had also broken ALL ties with him prior to this message. So BREAK UP doesn't apply in the literal sense. I'm assuming she meant something else. Which is fine, but I can understand why people took it the wrong way, because, obviously, there is no one to break up with at this point.

    OP- you don't have to keep defending yourself here. You and some of your friends didn't understand the "just break up" comment and that's fine. You and your friends understand that y'all have broken up, and if y'all aren't familiar with this common phrase on MFP, it may seem like just a harsh reply. That's okay. Trust the person who said it that she meant no harm.

    I would have used this section instead of 'motivation' also. That shouldn't matter. I would hope you'd get support regardless of the section you're in when your OP was obviously calling for support.

    I'd reply to the sincere comments here and ignore the hijacking crap. :flowerforyou:
  • NoMoreFlubbering
    NoMoreFlubbering Posts: 95 Member
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    He knew your insecurities and intentionally wanted to hurt you. Use it as motivation and for the record, I think your body is rocking! Keep up the good work!

    ^this. In that, you mention you were trying to be friends. If this is the kind of "friend" he is, he isn't. Friends don't use your insecurities against you, they support your weakest points. End this now, and don't drag it out further. There are so many amazing men out there that really do deserve you.
  • legnarevocrednu
    legnarevocrednu Posts: 467 Member
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    Oh my...we had already broken up prior to this message. I had also broken ALL ties with him prior to this message. So BREAK UP doesn't apply in the literal sense. I'm assuming she meant something else. Which is fine, but I can understand why people took it the wrong way, because, obviously, there is no one to break up with at this point.

    You were trying to be friends with the guy even though you broke up with him. It's very likely that he misconstrued your intentions towards him as a friend. Therefore, the break up really wasn't cemented with him. What she meant by saying "Just break up" is that you need to cut ties with the guy completely. Which is what most everyone else who responded said.
    Can you please re read my message??? PLEASE? So I don't have to repeat myself? Oh I'll just write it out for you.
    "I had also broken ALL ties with him prior to this message." Get it? Okay? Good.
  • PikaKnight
    PikaKnight Posts: 34,971 Member
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    Oh my...we had already broken up prior to this message. I had also broken ALL ties with him prior to this message. So BREAK UP doesn't apply in the literal sense. I'm assuming she meant something else. Which is fine, but I can understand why people took it the wrong way, because, obviously, there is no one to break up with at this point.

    You were trying to be friends with the guy even though you broke up with him. It's very likely that he misconstrued your intentions towards him as a friend. Therefore, the break up really wasn't cemented with him. What she meant by saying "Just break up" is that you need to cut ties with the guy completely. Which is what most everyone else who responded said.

    And yet Dani get stomped on for just saying it plainly. :grumble:

    OP...really...just break up or move on - however you want to think of it - but really..do it. Life is too short and no one can make you feel anything (well, with the exception of physical pain of course). If you allow him to do this to you, if you allow yourself to be down or insecure because of something he said, did, etc - than that's all you. So just let it go and move on with life. That's the best advice. :flowerforyou:
  • PikaKnight
    PikaKnight Posts: 34,971 Member
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    Oh my...we had already broken up prior to this message. I had also broken ALL ties with him prior to this message. So BREAK UP doesn't apply in the literal sense. I'm assuming she meant something else. Which is fine, but I can understand why people took it the wrong way, because, obviously, there is no one to break up with at this point.

    You were trying to be friends with the guy even though you broke up with him. It's very likely that he misconstrued your intentions towards him as a friend. Therefore, the break up really wasn't cemented with him. What she meant by saying "Just break up" is that you need to cut ties with the guy completely. Which is what most everyone else who responded said.
    Can you please re read my message??? PLEASE? So I don't have to repeat myself? Oh I'll just write it out for you.
    "I had also broken ALL ties with him prior to this message." Get it? Okay? Good.

    FYI OP, people tend to read only page 1 (sometimes just the original post). They don't read the pages that follow so you'll get a lot of responses based on what you originally posted rather than what you said in page 2 and onward.
  • UsedToBeHusky
    UsedToBeHusky Posts: 15,229 Member
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    Regarding the other topic going on here...let's just let it drop and move on. This topic has been exhausted in many forms.

    No thread ever really dies. This might come back and haunt you in six months. But for what its worth, I'll walk away. Best of luck! You are beautiful, and you deserve a way better friend!
  • Jerrypeoples
    Jerrypeoples Posts: 1,541 Member
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    i really see only one way to regain yourself from this. you and I a nice romantic evening, we take pictures documenting our "fun" together and then we can "accidently" email them to him.

    the logic is totally sound. i swear
    Haha! Totally sound! Cute!

    whoo hoo that wasnt a NO :)
  • legnarevocrednu
    legnarevocrednu Posts: 467 Member
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    Oh my...we had already broken up prior to this message. I had also broken ALL ties with him prior to this message. So BREAK UP doesn't apply in the literal sense. I'm assuming she meant something else. Which is fine, but I can understand why people took it the wrong way, because, obviously, there is no one to break up with at this point.

    OP- you don't have to keep defending yourself here. You and some of your friends didn't understand the "just break up" comment and that's fine. You and your friends understand that y'all have broken up, and if y'all aren't familiar with this common phrase on MFP, it may seem like just a harsh reply. That's okay. Trust the person who said it that she meant no harm.

    I would have used this section instead of 'motivation' also. That shouldn't matter. I would hope you'd get support regardless of the section you're in when your OP was obviously calling for support.

    I'd reply to the sincere comments here and ignore the hijacking crap. :flowerforyou:
    I should. It's just that people are completely misunderstanding me. I understand that the girl didn't mean "break up" in the literal way. Thats fine. I'm not offended. But other people who are defending her statement, aren't even defending it right. They are assuming I'm still with him in some way (whether relationship or friendship) when I have said more than once that I have broken ALL ties to him. Also, I wasn't asking for advice on how to handle him...I'm asking on how to handle the emotions it caused me. Again, I'm repeating myself. Communication really sucks here. Everyone misunderstands everything. And I feel like I've repeated myself a gazillion times. lol.
  • PikaKnight
    PikaKnight Posts: 34,971 Member
    Options
    Oh my...we had already broken up prior to this message. I had also broken ALL ties with him prior to this message. So BREAK UP doesn't apply in the literal sense. I'm assuming she meant something else. Which is fine, but I can understand why people took it the wrong way, because, obviously, there is no one to break up with at this point.

    OP- you don't have to keep defending yourself here. You and some of your friends didn't understand the "just break up" comment and that's fine. You and your friends understand that y'all have broken up, and if y'all aren't familiar with this common phrase on MFP, it may seem like just a harsh reply. That's okay. Trust the person who said it that she meant no harm.

    I would have used this section instead of 'motivation' also. That shouldn't matter. I would hope you'd get support regardless of the section you're in when your OP was obviously calling for support.

    I'd reply to the sincere comments here and ignore the hijacking crap. :flowerforyou:
    I should. It's just that people are completely misunderstanding me. I understand that the girl didn't mean "break up" in the literal way. Thats fine. I'm not offended. But other people who are defending her statement, aren't even defending it right. They are assuming I'm still with him in some way (whether relationship or friendship) when I have said more than once that I have broken ALL ties to him. Also, I wasn't asking for advice on how to handle him...I'm asking on how to handle the emotions it caused me. Again, I'm repeating myself. Communication really sucks here. Everyone misunderstands everything. And I feel like I've repeated myself a gazillion times. lol.

    You have the option to post that you've had all the advice, etc you needed and thank you, etc..

    and

    /endthread

    Not saying that will stop the replies but then you can just exit out of the post and walk away and know what you have to do.
  • legnarevocrednu
    legnarevocrednu Posts: 467 Member
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    Oh my...we had already broken up prior to this message. I had also broken ALL ties with him prior to this message. So BREAK UP doesn't apply in the literal sense. I'm assuming she meant something else. Which is fine, but I can understand why people took it the wrong way, because, obviously, there is no one to break up with at this point.

    You were trying to be friends with the guy even though you broke up with him. It's very likely that he misconstrued your intentions towards him as a friend. Therefore, the break up really wasn't cemented with him. What she meant by saying "Just break up" is that you need to cut ties with the guy completely. Which is what most everyone else who responded said.
    Can you please re read my message??? PLEASE? So I don't have to repeat myself? Oh I'll just write it out for you.
    "I had also broken ALL ties with him prior to this message." Get it? Okay? Good.

    FYI OP, people tend to read only page 1 (sometimes just the original post). They don't read the pages that follow so you'll get a lot of responses based on what you originally posted rather than what you said in page 2 and onward.
  • UsedToBeHusky
    UsedToBeHusky Posts: 15,229 Member
    Options
    Oh my...we had already broken up prior to this message. I had also broken ALL ties with him prior to this message. So BREAK UP doesn't apply in the literal sense. I'm assuming she meant something else. Which is fine, but I can understand why people took it the wrong way, because, obviously, there is no one to break up with at this point.

    You were trying to be friends with the guy even though you broke up with him. It's very likely that he misconstrued your intentions towards him as a friend. Therefore, the break up really wasn't cemented with him. What she meant by saying "Just break up" is that you need to cut ties with the guy completely. Which is what most everyone else who responded said.
    Can you please re read my message??? PLEASE? So I don't have to repeat myself? Oh I'll just write it out for you.
    "I had also broken ALL ties with him prior to this message." Get it? Okay? Good.

    FYI OP, people tend to read only page 1 (sometimes just the original post). They don't read the pages that follow so you'll get a lot of responses based on what you originally posted rather than what you said in page 2 and onward.
    Well that poster commented on the post where I actually mentioned I had broken all ties...there is really no excuse for that is there? I'm assuming they read it if they quoted and replied to it.

    Okay... I said I was going to leave but seriously... in your OP, you stated that you had broken up with the guy but was trying to be friends. You didn't mention in the OP that you had already cut ties with the guy. Dani's comment was the fifth one in the thread. She did not yet realize that you had already cut ties with the guy. That was all that I meant.
  • legnarevocrednu
    legnarevocrednu Posts: 467 Member
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    I just wanted to say thanks again for everyones advice, kind words, compliments etc. You all are great and today, I'm proud to be a member here.

    Regarding the other topic going on here...let's just let it drop and move on. This topic has been exhausted in many forms.
    I'm reposting this in hopes to end it. Seems I can't even help myself in responding to some of the posts. Thanks again and everyone have a nice day!
  • legnarevocrednu
    legnarevocrednu Posts: 467 Member
    Options
    Oh my...we had already broken up prior to this message. I had also broken ALL ties with him prior to this message. So BREAK UP doesn't apply in the literal sense. I'm assuming she meant something else. Which is fine, but I can understand why people took it the wrong way, because, obviously, there is no one to break up with at this point.

    You were trying to be friends with the guy even though you broke up with him. It's very likely that he misconstrued your intentions towards him as a friend. Therefore, the break up really wasn't cemented with him. What she meant by saying "Just break up" is that you need to cut ties with the guy completely. Which is what most everyone else who responded said.
    Can you please re read my message??? PLEASE? So I don't have to repeat myself? Oh I'll just write it out for you.
    "I had also broken ALL ties with him prior to this message." Get it? Okay? Good.

    FYI OP, people tend to read only page 1 (sometimes just the original post). They don't read the pages that follow so you'll get a lot of responses based on what you originally posted rather than what you said in page 2 and onward.
    Well that poster commented on the post where I actually mentioned I had broken all ties...there is really no excuse for that is there? I'm assuming they read it if they quoted and replied to it.

    Okay... I said I was going to leave but seriously... in your OP, you stated that you had broken up with the guy but was trying to be friends. You didn't mention in the OP that you had already cut ties with the guy. Dani's comment was the fifth one in the thread. She did not yet realize that you had already cut ties with the guy. That was all that I meant.
    Why I edited that post. I realized what you meant afterwards. Got it! Sorry. I can admit when I'm wrong. lol

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