it's 2013, why are women playing mother to their husbands?

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  • johloz
    johloz Posts: 176 Member
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    WAIT WAIT WAIT... "playing mother"?!?!? That's sexist. Why does it have to be the mother who cooks and cleans? Why can't you say "playing father" or "playing non-specific gendered parent or guardian"?

    NOW who's pushing sexist stereotypes?

    Ignore me, I just enjoy feeling offended for everything...
  • Lupercalia
    Lupercalia Posts: 1,857 Member
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    I like to cook for my son and husband. I cook ONE meal and they eat it, period. I'm a great cook, so it's never an issue. Once my husband made "chili", and that was enough to convince me that he should never be permitted to cook, EVER! :cry:

    Oh, and both guys take care of their own breakfasts and lunches. I just do dinner. And I don't do dishes!
  • prudism
    prudism Posts: 149 Member
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    Both of my (grown) sons cook to some extent. The oldest likes to experiment. The youngest, who lives at home, doesn't care for the hassle of cooking, yet he cooks a great crockpot roast and a simple, yet yummy, enchilada soup, along with the basic barbecued meats.

    My (now ex) husband never cooked. I stayed home with the kids and he went to work to provide a paycheck. I did laundry. He mowed the lawn and washed the cars. I cooked the meals and he put the toilet seat down.

    I never really saw my cooking things he liked as "coddling", even when I cooked him something that I wouldn't eat (anything fishy). Instead, I saw it as a way of showing him that I loved him. In the same way, he took care of household repairs and little honey-dos like hanging shelves and moving furniture when I had a whim for a change
    In other words, going the extra mile to make him happy was something that made me happy. It was part of the give and take relationship that makes a marriage. It is a sign of respect. The problems started when we stopped respecting one another and caring how each other felt.

    After a dozen years of marriage our relationship started to deteriorate. And just before our divorce, I noticed a trend. I did not keep up with the housework and did not always have dinner on the table at 5 p.m. For his part, he grumbled every time I asked him to do something around the house.

    Thats what I call it as well showing each other that you care and will go the extra mile for each other sometimes its hard work
    but for me thats a well kept marriage like everything else in life things have to earned.
    its people who cant be bothered that harp on about 2013 and all such nonsense.
  • tadpole242
    tadpole242 Posts: 507 Member
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    Who are you even directing this toward?

    My husband does all the cooking in our house. He loves to cook and I hate it.
    Every day there is at least a couple threads of women saying their husbands can't cook....
    You're not my wife, nor my mother, so why do you care, what happens in my life or that of my wife. sort your own Stuff out first, before you preach to others,
    Can you install a SS HD and format and install the OS on the said item, or re-felt a shed, maybe do a full service on a 4x4 transmission, or build a ditty cart? Yes no, comeback when you can and complain about equality.
  • beccyleigh
    beccyleigh Posts: 847 Member
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    why do you think you get an opinion on what other people do in their relationship. Get over it & focus on your own life.

    Yet another example of women attacking women. Well done.
  • RobinvdM
    RobinvdM Posts: 634 Member
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    My hubby knows how to cook. Ish. I don't understand the concept of making multiple meals for 1 family. I started trying that route when I first started losing weight last year, and it was difficult emotionally an financially so eventually I just cracked and said, "Enough!" I told my kids if they didn't like what they had put in front of them, they could buy their own groceries and prepare their own meals. Hubby rarely complained so he was less of an issue - he knows how to pick his battles :laugh:

    I know *I* am much happier eating as a family around the dinner time, and the family has long ago accepted that it's just going to be that way so get used to it. In their favor, though, I am not making drastically different meals. I took what we usually had and just improved upon it healthwise - heck, we actually eat better meals some days thanks to healthy slow cooker meals that I do more often now :)

    As per mothering my hubby? Well, that's my job. I nurture him, he provides for me - it's how it works. I don't coddle him, but I sure look after him. Isn't that the point of being a couple? To care for one another?
  • prudism
    prudism Posts: 149 Member
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    Who are you even directing this toward?

    My husband does all the cooking in our house. He loves to cook and I hate it.
    Every day there is at least a couple threads of women saying their husbands can't cook....
    You're not my wife, nor my mother, so why do you care, what happens in my life or that of my wife. sort your own Stuff out first, before you preach to others,
    Can you install a SS HD and format and install the OS on the said item, or re-felt a shed, maybe do a full service on a 4x4 transmission, or build a ditty cart? Yes no, comeback when you can and complain about equality.

    too true my sentiments exactly
  • WendyTerry420
    WendyTerry420 Posts: 13,274 Member
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    Sometimes I make a separate meal for my husband because the kids and I want to eat something spicy. He has Crohn's, so a lot of foods are off limits for him.
  • beskimoosh
    beskimoosh Posts: 375 Member
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    I work 12 hour shifts, and my fiance is incapable of sticking to a recipe or planning a healthy meal. Therefore, when I get home, I cook. He doesn't like what I cook, he knows where the takeout menu is (he isn't being healthy!). We tried taking turns cooking, but I kept finding that he'd added "just a bit of oil" and not weighing things, and it just wasn't worth the hassle. Yes, I could teach him, but he drives me to and from work, the gym, my friends houses (I can't drive) so it balances out.

    The reason I do the cooking isn't because I'm the woman in the relationship, we just do what we do best! I hate vacuuming, so he does it.

    I don't think it's fair to judge peoples relationships, you have no idea what goes on between them, all you're basing it on is a comment a few women have made. Sometimes I can't be bothered to cook after a 12 hour shift, but I'd prefer to do that than some of the jobs he does!
  • beskimoosh
    beskimoosh Posts: 375 Member
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    Who are you even directing this toward?

    My husband does all the cooking in our house. He loves to cook and I hate it.
    Every day there is at least a couple threads of women saying their husbands can't cook....
    You're not my wife, nor my mother, so why do you care, what happens in my life or that of my wife. sort your own Stuff out first, before you preach to others,
    Can you install a SS HD and format and install the OS on the said item, or re-felt a shed, maybe do a full service on a 4x4 transmission, or build a ditty cart? Yes no, comeback when you can and complain about equality.

    Sorry for the double post, I just noticed this... let's not fight sexism with what could be seen as more sexism please! Yeah, I can do some of that... not the service on a 4x4, or build a ditty cart (cos I have not a flipping clue what one of those is!), but if there's something that needs done with the computer or general DIY, it's me who does it. Mebbes the OP does too, we don't know.

    (Edited for spelling)
  • FierceFox81
    FierceFox81 Posts: 89
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    different strokes for different folks

    I agree. Each household is different. I love to cook, so does my boyfriend, so it depends on the night and our schedules. One of my favorite things to do is cook for him though. Seeing both of us are trainers (second jobs for each of us because we love it) nights can get late. We usually eat together but there are nights I'll make dinner and leave the left overs for him...or I'll make something new just special for him when he gets home. It's the same way if I'm the one working later.

    We make it work for us...and we both enjoy it. If you don't like it then don't do it for your family. It's as simple as that :)
  • Matt_Wild
    Matt_Wild Posts: 2,673 Member
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    Sad post OP!

    Today my other half has just gone to work. And off to work she's gone with meals made up by me when she was working late last night, so she didn't have to rush last night when she came home, to which end I'd made her steak and salad when she got in at 8.30pm.

    Some days she does the same for me, its simply a case of looking after each other. I take great delight in keeping her happy and fed and she the same for me.
  • elenathegreat
    elenathegreat Posts: 3,988 Member
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    We will be married 25 years in April, and we have two children. My husband is a rancher who is literally up with the sun. He not only does some very physically demanding work, he also bears much of the burden of the business end of keeping this place going. Some days, we freeze or sweat side by side all day, come home, make a bowl of cereal or a sandwich, and fall into bed. Most days, I have the whole day to catch up on housework and cooking. I can rope and tie a calf, he can wash and iron clothes. He changes the oil in the trucks, I change the sheets on the beds...he cleans corrals and stalls, I clean toilets. If he comes in for a meal, and it's not ready, or I'm not home, he prepares his own---he taught me how to cook, iron and do laundry when we were first married...

    I think we have this **** figured out...thanks:)
  • ArroganceInStep
    ArroganceInStep Posts: 6,239 Member
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    It's 2013, why are women still gold diggers?

    Oh wait...not all women are gold diggers? Only some of them are?

    Oh.
  • tadpole242
    tadpole242 Posts: 507 Member
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    build a ditty cart (cos I have not a flipping clue what one of those is!),
    A man would have googled that. lol
  • snowboardn
    snowboardn Posts: 43
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    quit your *****in' and get your *kitten* back in the kitchen
  • beskimoosh
    beskimoosh Posts: 375 Member
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    build a ditty cart (cos I have not a flipping clue what one of those is!),
    A man would have googled that. lol

    I did, but I didn't want to falsely claim I knew :wink:
    I worry about my raging manliness at times lol
  • devilwhiterose
    devilwhiterose Posts: 1,157 Member
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    :sad: I want someone to make me a sammich!!!
  • elenathegreat
    elenathegreat Posts: 3,988 Member
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    Sad post OP!

    Today my other half has just gone to work. And off to work she's gone with meals made up by me when she was working late last night, so she didn't have to rush last night when she came home, to which end I'd made her steak and salad when she got in at 8.30pm.

    Some days she does the same for me, its simply a case of looking after each other. I take great delight in keeping her happy and fed and she the same for me.

    Now this is what I'm talking about...greatness!:heart::heart: :heart:

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