it's 2013, why are women playing mother to their husbands?

alwayskungfu

Hate social steriotyping, pet annoyance at the mo is adverts on telly with fat husband slim wife and two perfic kids, your so moneysuperbla bla bla suggesting it OK for the bloke to be a fat slob:noway: , someones got to be allowed to eat all the burgers pizza an chocolate or the economy will grind to a halt, aaaaaaaaahg:mad: ! its a mad mad mad world, rant over. :blushing:

kelly101386

I make one meal and if he isn't home he heats it up later on.

This I do the same

Tanja_CHH

I grew up having to help with everything, cleaning and cooking, and only having the meal my mum made for me to eat and this was completely fine with me, it was normal, i didn't know anything else so why wouldn't it be fine. However I now live with my boyfriend whose mum works full time (5-3), comes home, goes gym, walks the dog, cooks dinner (a diffreent one for the dad, her and her 3 children, i will cook my own as I dont enjoy the food they have as when you have to cook for 5 different people it tends to not be very nice) and then carries on washing the clothes and cleaning the house. Noone ever helps her and this is with 1 son (18) who is staying at home. tops he will load the dishwasher.
We are soon moving out and I am slightly worried he won't help at all, as I will be full time student and working evenings, and I do much studying at home, therefore will have much less time on my hands then him, however only time will tell.
I am planning on doing the cooking as it can be difficult to make cheap meals taste nice and healthy, however Im not planning on doing everything else.
But it is very often how you have been brought up that determines your attitudes towards such issues.

pseudomuffin

I divorced the last manchild that wanted me to be his mother. No thanks! If you cannot mow the lawn because you're too busy being a drunk *kitten* and then you yell at me that I take advantage of YOU because I take a few days off of cleaning to have some me time because my grandmother is on hospice, yeah, there's going to be a rude awakening and some divorce papers, son.

Now I'm in an awesome relationship with a real, honest to God man, whom I like to take care of as a partner because he takes care of me. I love me some domesticity and I'm probably really old fashioned in some of the ways I run my household, but he still brings me coffee in bed, cooks awesome meals every once in a while, and treats me like a woman instead of furniture.

Mothers, raise your sons to be gentlemen! Please!

krissy_krossy

My husband's in the military, works 16 hours a day, and has to ask how to boil rice. It's easiest for me to cook.
I usually make two separate meals because he needs to eat more than I do. Tacos? Make ground turkey for me and beef for him. Fish? I bake my fillets plain and he has battered. We usually eat the same sides, though. I don't see what the big deal is.
Besides, I'm very picky and don't like half the stuff he eats so we eat different food. And I don't trust him to measure mine out right when his idea of a serving of mac and cheese is the whole box.

charismanoodles

I think the point your trying to make is that they are making multiple meals to cater to everyones tastes?

I know my mother does this for my brother and my dad and it drives her nuts. I wish they'd either eat the same thing or help her out, other than the random bbq.

When I became vegetarian I think my mother nearly fainted from the thought of 4 different meals, but I cooked my own to help her out, now I can cook and am living out of home quite comfortable, whereas my brother somehow can't master a piece of toast.

Flossie1981

Surely it's personal choice?

My other half and I both work full time, but he gets home an hour later than me. We have certain jobs that we each do around the house, I usually cook Monday to Friday, he cooks Sunday and we usually cook together on a Saturday. We very rarely eat different meals, he just usually has a bigger portion and some extra carbs with his. We look after each other, he makes me a cup of coffee every morning, I usually make his sandwich and iron his work shirts.

radscorpion

To each his own but I personally could *not* play mother to a man-baby who doesn't even know how to switch a washing machine on or cook a basic meal... My father is a great example of this ._. .. I would just find it difficult to be sexually attracted to someone who can't or refuses to care for themself, and I would find it difficult to look in the mirror at a woman who let's that kind of thing happen. But it works for some people *shrug* just definitely not something I would be interested in.

It kind of irks me actually when people say I'm "lucky" to have a boyfriend who actually cooks, cleans, and shares responsibilities with me. It baffles me. It also makes me kind of sad when I hear women squawking about how amazing their husband is because they did the washing up and hoovered round the house because they were ill. How "kind" of them xD.

Heh. As I say, it works for some people and it's ultimately their decision and not mine to judge. (But you kind of forfeit the right to have a moan about how lazy your husband is when right from the off you gave the green light and said "hey, this works!".)

abrahamsitososa

Every woman has the choice to be as feminist as she wants. But a more traditional woman gets my bid.

vtmoon

Lack of empathy on this thread by men towards men who can't cook is intense. Just cause someone doesn't know howto cook doesn't make them a drooling buffoon. When I was younger I use to be surprised by men who couldn't open their car and not only know what is wrong with it but also if they can administer the repairs on the spot or if they need bigger toys to fix it that another friend or only a mechanic has, but I came to realise not everyone is given the same skill set.

Somehow I can cook even though no one taught me, just through messing around in the kitchen. One of my best friends holds a doctorate in chemistry and can explain to me every reaction happening in the kitchen while I cook, this man started a fire in our apartment while trying to boil spaghetti.

Henry Ford couldn't cook and poked fun about himself constantly cause he mastered combustion but can't control a small fire under a pan.

kelly101386

Lack of empathy on this thread by men towards men who can't cook is intense. Just cause someone doesn't know howto cook doesn't make them a drooling buffoon. When I was younger I use to be surprised by men who couldn't open their car and not only know what is wrong with it but also if they can administer the repairs on the spot or if they need bigger toys to fix it that another friend or only a mechanic has, but I came to realise not everyone is given the same skill set.

Somehow I can cook even though no one taught me, just through messing around in the kitchen. One of my best friends holds a doctorate in chemistry and can explain to me every reaction happening in the kitchen while I cook, this man started a fire in our apartment while trying to boil spaghetti.

Henry Ford couldn't cook and poked fun about himself constantly cause he mastered combustion but can't control a small fire under a pan.

My husband has several degrees, smartest person I have ever known...yet he can't cook lol!

Railr0aderTony

Lack of empathy on this thread by men towards men who can't cook is intense. Just cause someone doesn't know howto cook doesn't make them a drooling buffoon. When I was younger I use to be surprised by men who couldn't open their car and not only know what is wrong with it but also if they can administer the repairs on the spot or if they need bigger toys to fix it that another friend or only a mechanic has, but I came to realise not everyone is given the same skill set.

Somehow I can cook even though no one taught me, just through messing around in the kitchen. One of my best friends holds a doctorate in chemistry and can explain to me every reaction happening in the kitchen while I cook, this man started a fire in our apartment while trying to boil spaghetti.

Henry Ford couldn't cook and poked fun about himself constantly cause he mastered combustion but can't control a small fire under a pan.

See Mo the problem is you are using logic on a clearly emotional thread, that does not work.

lucylousmummy

im a stay at home mum with 4 kids, my husband gets up at 4 in the morning and i often dont see him till 6 at night, this is 5 days a week, so why should i expect him to start cooking after working so hard all day? also he is a vegetarian has been for 25 years long before i met him, the rest of us aren't why should he have to eat meat just so i only have to cook one meal?
i usually have to cook 3 seperate meals or at least 3 variations of the same meal, my husbands is just usually a veggie version of whatever i'm having, the 2 oldest usually have the same as me, the youngest who is 2 wont eat spicy food and i really dont see the point in pushing her into it, and my youngest boy who is 5 has a phobia of fruit and vegetables we have had him to numerous doctors, dieticians, etc but the fact remains if he gets even a small part of fruit or vegetables near his mouth he is physically sick, but he will grow out of it eventually why should i make every meal traumatic for him just to save myself time?

i would also just like to add that my husband does the washing up, and on his days off he likes nothing better than taking over the kitchen and making us lovely meals, and when our roles were reversed and i went to work (decided i needed a break from just being mum but still needed someone at home 24/7) he stayed at home with the kids he did all the cooking

abrahamsitososa

im a stay at home mum with 4 kids, my husband gets up at 4 in the morning and i often dont see him till 6 at night, this is 5 days a week, so why should i expect him to start cooking after working so hard all day? also he is a vegetarian has been for 25 years long before i met him, the rest of us aren't why should he have to eat meat just so i only have to cook one meal?
i usually have to cook 3 seperate meals or at least 3 variations of the same meal, my husbands is just usually a veggie version of whatever i'm having, the 2 oldest usually have the same as me, the youngest who is 2 wont eat spicy food and i really dont see the point in pushing her into it, and my youngest boy who is 5 has a phobia of fruit and vegetables we have had him to numerous doctors, dieticians, etc but the fact remains if he gets even a small part of fruit or vegetables near his mouth he is physically sick, but he will grow out of it eventually why should i make every meal traumatic for him just to save myself time?

i would also just like to add that my husband does the washing up, and on his days off he likes nothing better than taking over the kitchen and making us lovely meals, and when our roles were reversed and i went to work (decided i needed a break from just being mum but still needed someone at home 24/7) he stayed at home with the kids he did all the cooking

You are the type of woman I have lot's of respect for. Your husband chose wisely.

lucylousmummy

im a stay at home mum with 4 kids, my husband gets up at 4 in the morning and i often dont see him till 6 at night, this is 5 days a week, so why should i expect him to start cooking after working so hard all day? also he is a vegetarian has been for 25 years long before i met him, the rest of us aren't why should he have to eat meat just so i only have to cook one meal?
i usually have to cook 3 seperate meals or at least 3 variations of the same meal, my husbands is just usually a veggie version of whatever i'm having, the 2 oldest usually have the same as me, the youngest who is 2 wont eat spicy food and i really dont see the point in pushing her into it, and my youngest boy who is 5 has a phobia of fruit and vegetables we have had him to numerous doctors, dieticians, etc but the fact remains if he gets even a small part of fruit or vegetables near his mouth he is physically sick, but he will grow out of it eventually why should i make every meal traumatic for him just to save myself time?

i would also just like to add that my husband does the washing up, and on his days off he likes nothing better than taking over the kitchen and making us lovely meals, and when our roles were reversed and i went to work (decided i needed a break from just being mum but still needed someone at home 24/7) he stayed at home with the kids he did all the cooking

You are the type of woman I have lot's of respect for. Your husband chose wisely.

thank you x

Infauna

I honestly don't see the big deal at all. I absolutely love cooking and wouldn't mind

HIITMe

the OP would REALLY have a fit if she knew I not only cook my man a seperate meal, I run his bathwater and lotion his body when he gets out.....

SarahCW1979

Im a stay at home mum and do the majority of the cooking. Hubby is great in the kitchen but when he gets home from a 14 hour shift with an hours drive tacked on each end I sure as hell have something ready for him. Im not his mother but I have enough respect for the hard work he does providing for our family that its the least I can do for him. Kids eat what we eat unless its something really spicy, then Ill cook something different for them. I thought this was normal :ohwell:

pseudomuffin

the OP would REALLY have a fit if she knew I not only cook my man a seperate meal, I run his bathwater and lotion his body when he gets out.....

:laugh: I do this too! And he says "You're making me spoiled" and I tell him he deserves it hehe ❤

sugarxmexsweet

Well I still live with my mum and she cooks for me, herself and my older brother. If I don't like what she's cooking she will either cook me something else or I will cook something up. My lover on the other hand cooks for himself and its always crap but he never ever puts on weight, he's been like that since I have known him.