it's 2013, why are women playing mother to their husbands?
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I don't buy the "but I don't know how" bs.
Neither did I. I never wanted to learn how to cook. I don't particularly like cooking either, but fast food & TV dinners aren't a way of life. Grow up & learn the basics at least. Not everyone is always going to be there all the time.0 -
Ummm....
I am a man and I do all the cooking in our household and have done the cooking for most of my life.
I taught my kids how to cook and to experience the kitchen as an exciting place where they can develop their creativity and passion.
I also do a very substantial part of the housework - which I don't think it particularly unusual.
kind regards,
Ben
Then what are you doing here? Get back in the kitchen!0 -
Ummm....
I am a man and I do all the cooking in our household and have done the cooking for most of my life.
I taught my kids how to cook and to experience the kitchen as an exciting place where they can develop their creativity and passion.
I also do a very substantial part of the housework - which I don't think it particularly unusual.
kind regards,
Ben
Then what are you doing here? Get back in the kitchen!
Oh you are hilarious!
I don't need to spend all day in the kitchen.0 -
Me and my boyfriend eat VERY differently because we have VERY different needs. I put on weight very easily and he has a hard time not being underweight. When we're at his place, he makes me my food, and food for himself, and when I'm he's here I make his food.
there is nothing old fashioned or degrading about that and our different needs do not say anything about us as people.0 -
I cook 3 meals a night. My husband is a meat (preferably steak or sausages) and 2 veg (potato and frozen mixed vegetables) kinda guy. I figure he works 10-16 hours a day the least I can do is feed him something he likes. Or listen to him bit(h all night
My 14 year old is a vegetarian so she eats mushrooms, spinach, brussel sprouts, tofu ect ect (My husband will not eat any of this)
My 3 year old is waiting on surgery for tonsils and adenoids and only eats soft foods and chicken breast. All other meats she will chew and spit it out, Her tonsils are more then double normal size.
My 13 year old and I will eat a mixture of what everyone else is eating. Sometimes I feel like a chicken stir fry and no one else likes them so I'll make 4 meals a night. I'm already in the kitchenso it's no big deal to me over how many meals I make.
Plus the kids do all the washing up so I like making a mess for them
My husband can't cook, if I don't cook he will get take away. Last time he tried to cook the spaghetti was oily and meat hadn't been drained. It was like eating a ball of oil. Gross. He does the bbq every weekend though0 -
The zombie apocalypse is coming, so I hope everyone knows how to cook equally.0
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The zombie apocalypse is coming, so I hope everyone knows how to cook equally.
The hell do I need to know how to cook for? If the zombie apocalypse comes, we return to 'survival of the fittest', and there are millions of wide assed, bad shots out there that I can take all of the food I need from.0 -
I don't expect him to cook
He doesn't expect me go climb onto a 40 foot roof to clean the gutters out
Stereotypes...maybe
Happy with our situation...you bet0 -
My girlfriend comes from a traditional Chinese family. It's taken her a year to get over the fact that I cook and (sometimes) clean. She was confused and even a little nervous the first time she cooked for me (at my house) and, after dinner, I told her to sit down and relax while I cleaned the kitchen. She still does the laundry, though I do share that, and cleans the house (the kitchen is all mine though) because that is her contribution to the housework, etc.
btw... IMHO, any guy that is truly incapable of cooking, is probably also incapable of wiping the drool running down his face. Cooking is really easy (cooking GREAT food is a bit tougher). They are simply too lazy or too afraid to try. (Yes, there are exceptions to this). BUT... if the couple has an understanding that the guy won't cook... it certainly won't affect my night's sleep!
Now, if you'll excuse me, since my gf is away I'm going to get started on my Cajun-buffalo chicken breasts... yum!
Haha.. it was some of the same with me and my "new" BF (been together 3,5 years now, lived together for 2,5). I have two teenagers and am/was used to keeping track and control of the household by myself. He INSISTED to get to be a part of everything and actually still gets grumpy when he's not included in the jobs to be done. He's fully capable of keeping house by himself too, so it's just been an adjustment for me. I still do most of the cooking though, but that's mostly because I'm home earlier.
This works for us. I'm very happy with sharing everything with him, makes me feel that I'm not all alone with all the work.
What works best for others is a totally different matter. And that's THEIR business..0 -
Look, feminism is about having the CHOICE to play traditional roles or not. It is not a rejection of all things done in the home by a woman.
A married couple is tasked with caring for one another. It is up to each couple to decide how to do this, according to one another strengths and weaknesses; it should have nothing to do with traditional gender roles. It is not wrong for a woman to cook and a man to install gutters, any more than the reverse is wrong.0 -
I'm going to order me a cookbook because my
lady isn't into the manly foods I like like to eat daily such as
chicken patties and fries0 -
I LOVE cooking. Last night, hubby and I had rib eye steaks. He prefers his done under the broiler, I prefer mine fried (Or on the BBQ). He prefers french fries with his...I like boiled new potatoes. Daughter doesn't like steak and I know this so I got her a bit of turkey that I cooked up for her. It takes a bit of effort on my part, but like I said, I enjoy it...and everyone helps with the clean up! I'd rather they enjoy what I fix for them than watch them pick at it and not eat. This works for us...but I suppose not for everyone.0
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i do shift work, he long hours, so its whoever is there policy, don't generalize!!0
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Why does anyone feel the need to defend their home life? Is everyone getting fed? Yes? Then who cares?0
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Look, feminism is about having the CHOICE to play traditional roles or not. It is not a rejection of all things done in the home by a woman.
A married couple is tasked with caring for one another. It is up to each couple to decide how to do this, according to one another strengths and weaknesses; it should have nothing to do with traditional gender roles. It is not wrong for a woman to cook and a man to install gutters, any more than the reverse is wrong.
^^^^^^^^^^ THIS x10000000000000000000000000000000000000
my husband works hard, I'm currently looking for work (part time) and I'm part time homeschooling (my kids are at an Arabic school and I'm supplementing what they're not learning from the British curriculum at home). So why shouldn't I cook for him if that's what suits us? It'd be very un-egalitarian of me to demand that he cooks his own food seeing as he does a lot more work than me. Even when I get a part time job he'll still be doing more work than me as he'll be paying for someone to mind the kids and help with the housework (which is the best way to do daycare in the Gulf) so I'll still be doing less work than him and this takes care of more than his share of the housework too.
Equality is about having a choice, not replacing one forced situation (all women being homemakers/stay at home mums) with another (all women being under social pressure to return to work regardless if they're suffering from or at risk of post-natal depression, or simply would prefer to be at home with the baby, etc). Equality = women having a free choice between being a stay at home mum or homemaker (with or without kids) and going to work, and being equally respected and supported whatever they choose. And also IMO men should have the choice to be stay at home dads or homemakers and be respected for it. The choice in these matters is down to the individual couple/family and what works for them.0 -
Look, feminism is about having the CHOICE to play traditional roles or not. It is not a rejection of all things done in the home by a woman.
A married couple is tasked with caring for one another. It is up to each couple to decide how to do this, according to one another strengths and weaknesses; it should have nothing to do with traditional gender roles. It is not wrong for a woman to cook and a man to install gutters, any more than the reverse is wrong.
Absolutely.
I do most of the cooking in my house, but the reason why is because I love it and I get sick and tired of my husband's inability to notice that a piece of meat with vegetables every single night is boring to me - which is what I'd get if he did most of the cooking
However, I cannot stand doing the vacuuming and my husband finds it relaxing - so it's all fine. In a marriage you often divvy up these kinds of tasks, as often there is a person who enjoys doing them more than the other. Provided both people are happy with this arrangement and have open communication about their roles in the household, I don't see the issue?0 -
I'm going to assume you don't have kids and you're not married.
I'm Married, and my wife and I share those responsibilities in the house. We either make separate meals, or share cooking responsibilities during the week/weekend. Of course, I don't believe just because she has boobs she is my servant and I can't figure out how to cook or clean.
*salute*0 -
I'm going to assume you don't have kids and you're not married.
This I love to look after my man and kids0 -
I have a partner and 2 boys. Im going to teach the boys to cook from an early age. Im getting the 2 yr old a toddler cooking set for his birthday so we can make cakes and biscuits together. My partner will put something in the oven and forget, then remember and the meal comes out like charcoal! I prefer to cook so then I know whats in the meal and that its healthy. Id rather he didnt do stuff around the hosue seeing as he was 27 and living with his parents and his mum did all his cleaning and ironing. He can do things if he has to but I like to do it myself so I know its done properly0
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I live in a household where 99% of the cooking is done by my step papa ....he LOVES cooking for his family (trust me) ...even christmas dinner is cooked by him, this year he went and made a real christmas cake...bless (my mum offers to do the dishes- putting them in the dishwasher :laugh: )
my step paps cooks because he loves HIS kitchen and no-one can clean it quiet the way he does
I then have a bf of 4years who again does all the cooking (and his good!)...can I cook, yeah, do I cook when I feel like it.
It's 2013.....why do we give a **** whose role it is to do anything or be in the kitchen ?! let **** be !
Just like some men like to cater to their other halves needs, some women like to do the same !0 -
Hate social steriotyping, pet annoyance at the mo is adverts on telly with fat husband slim wife and two perfic kids, your so moneysuperbla bla bla
suggesting it OK for the bloke to be a fat slob:noway: , someones got to be allowed to eat all the burgers pizza an chocolate or the economy will grind to a halt, aaaaaaaaahg:mad: ! its a mad mad mad world, rant over. :blushing: 0 -
I make one meal and if he isn't home he heats it up later on.
This I do the same 0 -
I grew up having to help with everything, cleaning and cooking, and only having the meal my mum made for me to eat and this was completely fine with me, it was normal, i didn't know anything else so why wouldn't it be fine. However I now live with my boyfriend whose mum works full time (5-3), comes home, goes gym, walks the dog, cooks dinner (a diffreent one for the dad, her and her 3 children, i will cook my own as I dont enjoy the food they have as when you have to cook for 5 different people it tends to not be very nice) and then carries on washing the clothes and cleaning the house. Noone ever helps her and this is with 1 son (18) who is staying at home. tops he will load the dishwasher.
We are soon moving out and I am slightly worried he won't help at all, as I will be full time student and working evenings, and I do much studying at home, therefore will have much less time on my hands then him, however only time will tell.
I am planning on doing the cooking as it can be difficult to make cheap meals taste nice and healthy, however Im not planning on doing everything else.
But it is very often how you have been brought up that determines your attitudes towards such issues.0 -
I divorced the last manchild that wanted me to be his mother. No thanks! If you cannot mow the lawn because you're too busy being a drunk *kitten* and then you yell at me that I take advantage of YOU because I take a few days off of cleaning to have some me time because my grandmother is on hospice, yeah, there's going to be a rude awakening and some divorce papers, son.
Now I'm in an awesome relationship with a real, honest to God man, whom I like to take care of as a partner because he takes care of me. I love me some domesticity and I'm probably really old fashioned in some of the ways I run my household, but he still brings me coffee in bed, cooks awesome meals every once in a while, and treats me like a woman instead of furniture.
Mothers, raise your sons to be gentlemen! Please!0 -
My husband's in the military, works 16 hours a day, and has to ask how to boil rice. It's easiest for me to cook.
I usually make two separate meals because he needs to eat more than I do. Tacos? Make ground turkey for me and beef for him. Fish? I bake my fillets plain and he has battered. We usually eat the same sides, though. I don't see what the big deal is.
Besides, I'm very picky and don't like half the stuff he eats so we eat different food. And I don't trust him to measure mine out right when his idea of a serving of mac and cheese is the whole box.0 -
I think the point your trying to make is that they are making multiple meals to cater to everyones tastes?
I know my mother does this for my brother and my dad and it drives her nuts. I wish they'd either eat the same thing or help her out, other than the random bbq.
When I became vegetarian I think my mother nearly fainted from the thought of 4 different meals, but I cooked my own to help her out, now I can cook and am living out of home quite comfortable, whereas my brother somehow can't master a piece of toast.0 -
Surely it's personal choice?
My other half and I both work full time, but he gets home an hour later than me. We have certain jobs that we each do around the house, I usually cook Monday to Friday, he cooks Sunday and we usually cook together on a Saturday. We very rarely eat different meals, he just usually has a bigger portion and some extra carbs with his. We look after each other, he makes me a cup of coffee every morning, I usually make his sandwich and iron his work shirts.0 -
To each his own but I personally could *not* play mother to a man-baby who doesn't even know how to switch a washing machine on or cook a basic meal... My father is a great example of this ._. .. I would just find it difficult to be sexually attracted to someone who can't or refuses to care for themself, and I would find it difficult to look in the mirror at a woman who let's that kind of thing happen. But it works for some people *shrug* just definitely not something I would be interested in.
It kind of irks me actually when people say I'm "lucky" to have a boyfriend who actually cooks, cleans, and shares responsibilities with me. It baffles me. It also makes me kind of sad when I hear women squawking about how amazing their husband is because they did the washing up and hoovered round the house because they were ill. How "kind" of them xD.
Heh. As I say, it works for some people and it's ultimately their decision and not mine to judge. (But you kind of forfeit the right to have a moan about how lazy your husband is when right from the off you gave the green light and said "hey, this works!".)0 -
Every woman has the choice to be as feminist as she wants. But a more traditional woman gets my bid.0
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Lack of empathy on this thread by men towards men who can't cook is intense. Just cause someone doesn't know howto cook doesn't make them a drooling buffoon. When I was younger I use to be surprised by men who couldn't open their car and not only know what is wrong with it but also if they can administer the repairs on the spot or if they need bigger toys to fix it that another friend or only a mechanic has, but I came to realise not everyone is given the same skill set.
Somehow I can cook even though no one taught me, just through messing around in the kitchen. One of my best friends holds a doctorate in chemistry and can explain to me every reaction happening in the kitchen while I cook, this man started a fire in our apartment while trying to boil spaghetti.
Henry Ford couldn't cook and poked fun about himself constantly cause he mastered combustion but can't control a small fire under a pan.0
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