it's 2013, why are women playing mother to their husbands?

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  • Queen_JessieA
    Queen_JessieA Posts: 1,059 Member
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    Who are you even directing this toward?

    I think I know a situation that this is directed at. My sister makes food for her and her husband. She also makes something different for her two boys who are 6 and 3 (mostly chicken strips or some variation) and sometimes a different meal for her and her husband.

    She is a stay at home mom and pretty much does all of the family cooking and care.

    My opinion? Quite accommodating to both kids and spouse. The kids need to be introduced to new foods or they will never find anything that they like. That is under mom's control as she is the one cooking for them. As far as her husband, she needs to tell him what she is planning on making. Sure, be somewhat considerate, but he's a grown man and shouldn't expect her to make whatever he wants whenever he wants it. It is downright sad.

    My wife and I mostly cook separate. We have enough differences in what we like to eat that it makes sense. She will tell me though, "I'm making swordfish tomorrow so you are on your own." It works amazingly well.

    I agree. If children are not exposed to different foods, then they won't ever learn to like them. We do not have a clean plate policy, but everyone is required to try a bite of something they don't think they will like. It works, in our case...my 7 and 10 year old boys would eat anything that you put in front of them (they LOVE broccoli, brussels sprouts and even asparagus!!).

    Still working on my daughter and fish, but to her, it is a texture thing. LOL. She isn't big on meat.
  • AllTehBeers
    AllTehBeers Posts: 5,030 Member
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    Maybe they just like it that way.
  • fresh_start59
    fresh_start59 Posts: 590 Member
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    Both of my (grown) sons cook to some extent. The oldest likes to experiment. The youngest, who lives at home, doesn't care for the hassle of cooking, yet he cooks a great crockpot roast and a simple, yet yummy, enchilada soup, along with the basic barbecued meats.

    My (now ex) husband never cooked. I stayed home with the kids and he went to work to provide a paycheck. I did laundry. He mowed the lawn and washed the cars. I cooked the meals and he put the toilet seat down.

    I never really saw my cooking things he liked as "coddling", even when I cooked him something that I wouldn't eat (anything fishy). Instead, I saw it as a way of showing him that I loved him. In the same way, he took care of household repairs and little honey-dos like hanging shelves and moving furniture when I had a whim for a change.

    In other words, going the extra mile to make him happy was something that made me happy. It was part of the give and take relationship that makes a marriage. It is a sign of respect. The problems started when we stopped respecting one another and caring how each other felt.

    After a dozen years of marriage our relationship started to deteriorate. And just before our divorce, I noticed a trend. I did not keep up with the housework and did not always have dinner on the table at 5 p.m. For his part, he grumbled every time I asked him to do something around the house.
  • MorgueBabe
    MorgueBabe Posts: 1,188 Member
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    Who are you even directing this toward?

    My husband does all the cooking in our house. He loves to cook and I hate it.
    Every day there is at least a couple threads of women saying their husbands can't cook....
  • mindymolson
    mindymolson Posts: 6
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    I get pleasure from seeing my family enjoy a meal that I prepare for them. They don't all eat the same, so I generally try to make sure there is at least 2 things on their plates that they love, then have them taste the rest. Just because you like something doesn't mean they have to. It's not living in the dark ages, it's simply enjoying individuality. My main job is to make sure the house runs smoothly, while my husband plays real life GI Joe.. all's good here.
  • disdatdude
    disdatdude Posts: 118
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    This is why marriage doesn't work in the U.S. :laugh: A woman will still want to be pursued by a man, wined and dined when he catches her, provide/do the manly jobs that come up...but he better not expect anything other than the nightly headache in return for his effort - :drinker:

    Oops, I forgot, I'm not supposed to tell the truth...just sit there like a neutered dog :flowerforyou:
  • Gracerrr
    Gracerrr Posts: 141
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    Who are you even directing this toward?

    My husband does all the cooking in our house. He loves to cook and I hate it.
    Every day there is at least a couple threads of women saying their husbands can't cook....

    Oh god. The horror.
  • breckinloggins
    breckinloggins Posts: 8
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    I'm all about equality, so my rules on this are pretty simple:

    - If you treat me like a child because I'm a man, then I'm going to kick your *kitten* to the curb.

    - If I act like a child and expect you to take care of me because I somehow feel entitled, then I expect you to kick MY *kitten* to the curb.
  • mindymolson
    mindymolson Posts: 6
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    I'm a traditional American.. that doesn't go for all of us lol
  • taunto
    taunto Posts: 6,420 Member
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    Usually your blog is much better suited to vent off any hard feelings you got. Or you can just email me and we can talk about whatever you're going through that made you create this thread.

    Good luck in future. Please talk to somebody because its worrying how you just went off and created a thread like this...

    Heres the link to your blog you can use to spread such news about men

    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/blog/morguebabe
  • GoTeamMeaghan
    GoTeamMeaghan Posts: 347 Member
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    My husband is an awesome guy and works like 60 hours a week. I love him & like to do nice things for him, like make him dinner. We have differnet tastes and different nutritional needs (I have Chron's disease which brings with it multiple dietary restrictions). Plus, it's my business if I make him dinner, I even hand him his plate of food & get him seconds if he wants it. He appreciates it and thanks me for it everyday. I suggest you focus more on yourself than on what other people are doing. I don't know if you're married or not, but marriage isn't a battle to see who wins, it's about showing each other how you care. I show him I care by cooking, cleaning, laundry, that kind of stuff. He shows me he cares by keeping a roof over my head & 2 cars in the driveway. He's sat with me in the hospital nearly all night even though he has to be at work in the morning, so if he wants pasta and I don't then who gives a *kitten* If I make him dinner?!
  • cordianet
    cordianet Posts: 534 Member
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    Stereotype much?
  • taliar93
    taliar93 Posts: 111 Member
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    This is why marriage doesn't work in the U.S. :laugh: A woman will still want to be pursued by a man, wined and dined when he catches her, provide/do the manly jobs that come up...but he better not expect anything other than the nightly headache in return for his effort - :drinker:

    Oops, I forgot, I'm not supposed to tell the truth...just sit there like a neutered dog :flowerforyou:

    and let the feminist remarks start! lol! :flowerforyou:

    Hubby mainly does the cooking cos he's a total foodie, and I don't mind either way :) as for cooking two different meals, I couldn't care less, people that do that either enjoy cooking or can't man up and say no, since I'm not in the situation I could honestly give a rat's backside what other people do meal wise, if that's what makes a person happy go for it.

    And when he gets a job, guess who's going to be doing 99% of cooking/cleaning, yours truly, not because it's an old stereotype, but because I don't want my husband to come home after a long day at work and have to cook, it's a partnership, he makes the money, I make the dinner, and I'm perfectly happy with that :drinker:
  • ToughTulip
    ToughTulip Posts: 1,118 Member
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    I honestly don't see the big deal at all. I absolutely love cooking and wouldn't mind
  • taunto
    taunto Posts: 6,420 Member
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    I honestly don't see the big deal at all. I absolutely love cooking and wouldn't mind

    And I as a man loves cooking and for all my ex's I have often cooked for or with them.

    My brother on the other hand cannot even make himself fried eggs so its either his wife (who's a stay at home mom) cooking him which she does happily, or him eating from outside.
  • Shadowknight137
    Shadowknight137 Posts: 1,243 Member
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    I was raised with a "you want a separate meal, cook it yourself" attitude in the household.

    Granted, now I'm an awesome cook. Win/Win.
  • LeanerBeef
    LeanerBeef Posts: 1,432 Member
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    Come on now......my question is why aren't they???

    I cooked dinner tonight & just got done folding 2 loads of laundry........:grumble:
  • TMLPatrick
    TMLPatrick Posts: 558 Member
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    If a guy can't cook, he probably isn't capable of maintaining a household. It's not brain surgery. I like cooking.... its rewarding to eat something you made yourself. It also usually tastes better.
  • Debbe2
    Debbe2 Posts: 2,071 Member
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    :noway:
  • MyChocolateDiet
    MyChocolateDiet Posts: 22,281 Member
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    My husband is an awesome guy and works like 60 hours a week. I love him & like to do nice things for him, like make him dinner. We have differnet tastes and different nutritional needs (I have Chron's disease which brings with it multiple dietary restrictions). Plus, it's my business if I make him dinner, I even hand him his plate of food & get him seconds if he wants it. He appreciates it and thanks me for it everyday. I suggest you focus more on yourself than on what other people are doing. I don't know if you're married or not, but marriage isn't a battle to see who wins, it's about showing each other how you care. I show him I care by cooking, cleaning, laundry, that kind of stuff. He shows me he cares by keeping a roof over my head & 2 cars in the driveway. He's sat with me in the hospital nearly all night even though he has to be at work in the morning, so if he wants pasta and I don't then who gives a *kitten* If I make him dinner?!
    ^ this but mine works regular hours and I still think he deserves to eat. And if my picky eaters who I love to death want different foods I get it for them. I make as many foods as necessary to make sure everyone eats because I consider it my responsibility and luckily he considers it his to look out for me. He has nursed me back to health numerous times [not that disease but something else] and has been a good provider/friend/and french toast maker on sundays. If I choose to spoil my man or my kids it's my business. Feminism was and is still supposed to be about choices and you harshing on mine doesn't make it feel that way. Please keep these kinds of opinions to yourself or else people in the opposing camp will have to tell you all the ways They think Feminism has failed the american family, and society at large. I personally just wish people would not use feminist ideas to pigeonhole women any more. Telling me how to run my household does just that.

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