Do you get a lot more attention after weight loss?

mrshoneydew

I do, but I'm married, so it's kind of mixed feelings.
I can't say that I don't like getting attention and compliments, but for every one innocent person who compliments on my appearance, there are 10 creepers in their place making me feel uncomfortable. I got the attention before loosing weight, but it's much more often now. It's a definite self esteem booster when a cute clerk gives me the extra big smile during checkout, or when someone says that I'm pretty.
But when a person doesn't know when to take the hint when I tell them I'm married, then things get tricky. :frown:

Rhonnie

I think it has less to do with the actual weight you lost or what your weight is and more to do with the confidence you exude when you feel good about your self and are proud of yourself.

But how can we be sure? The two seem to be so intertwined. Anybody felt confident AND got plenty of attention while still overweight? Please share!

I know it's not all or nothing though. I still got/get attention while overweight, but less so. However my confidence is in direct proportion with my size, unfortunately.

There are plenty of heavier women that get loads of attention - they are happy vivacious confident women who are happy with who they are and comfortable with their size - embrace their size even!

rickpearce

How much of this has to do with the yoga pants most of you are probably wearing way more often now? lol.

Congrats to everyone whose said they feel more confident. That is amazing. Big congrats to some ppl who are getting some action cuz of their loss.

mrshoneydew

Oh yeah, it's also kind of funny because when I was in high school, I was the gross fat girl (weighed around 240 back then) that everyone joked about dating and couldn't get a date.
Now I weigh about 90 lbs less and guys I went to high school with who used to make fun of me are now on Facebook like "Hey you look great!".
Thanks, and you are 10 years too late suckas!

alexhelena

I really think its mainly confidence. When you don't feel attractive because you're not happy with your weight you look sad. People don't like sad, unconfident people.

Conversely, when you feel sexy and toned (even if you statistically still are overweight), you just ooze happiness and good vibes. People are attracted to happy, confident people.

Take it all in stride. Be complimented and feel good and then use that as fire to keep going.

So true!

(Also your photos look amazing! great job! )

AlbertOakaTREE

So very true

I really think its mainly confidence. When you don't feel attractive because you're not happy with your weight you look sad. People don't like sad, unconfident people.

Conversely, when you feel sexy and toned (even if you statistically still are overweight), you just ooze happiness and good vibes. People are attracted to happy, confident people.

Take it all in stride. Be complimented and feel good and then use that as fire to keep going.

izoom3

Yup sure do....and at my age I was blown away! I kind of take it as a compliment. But it saddens me to know that these people wouldnt have given me a second look a year or so ago. Their loss, Im the same person now as I was then....just healthier.
BTW, I married my guy 38 years ago...hes been with me through thick and thin...I would NEVER consider anyone giving me compliments or hitting on me able to change the love I feel for my husband.

squinz

I think so. But you also feel more confident and dress to reflect that, which helps!

lacroyx

A little bit. I'm pretty much oblivious to from the opposite sex. Having rarely gotten attention for most of my 20's to now, in my 30's.

apittmanrn

This really, is a wonderful thing. It was also a terrible pitfall for me.

I was always pretty overweight throughout my teens and early 20s, (25 now) During this time in a persons life, this is pretty much where you make all of your friends who will or will not last throughout your lifetime.

When I lost weight, I noticed strangers hitting on me. I also noticed that people from our "circle" of friends started noticing me too.
Before, i was the fat chick. the fat friend. I had a male friend who I may have crushed on a bit when i was bigger, he never gave me the time of day, relationship wise. After I lost weight, he was very VERY into me. It sort of hurts. Makes you realize how shallow people can be, even your own friends. =(

I experienced the same thing!!!

Marilyn2303

Since beginning WW in Oct I've lost 51.1 lbs. Yes I gained since originally signing up for MFP but not logging into it at all. People give lots more compliments thats for sure.
The only thing negative I hear and I guess it's not really a negative is the weight loss is so easy for you. those people don't realize how much work I a putting into it even when I tell them. I've cut out white bread products, bars (including granola) basically no prepackaged food other than a Lean Cuisine for lunch as well as track like crazy. i use MFP, WW online and a notebook.

gaylelynnmc

Haha...funny this should come up this morning...I have been a widow for almost 6 years now and have dated a few men...when I started this weight loss journey (for lack of a better word) anyone I have dated in the past few years have all said they didn't want me to loose weight....to me that is a sign of control and I back away quickly. I just want to be accept for me, as I am, day in and day out....last night the lasted said we should stop seeing each other...his claims are that I am too busy and once I loose my weight I am going to be even busier fighting off gents...lol...that is crazy...loosing weight doesn't change the fact that I am a loyal woman....men are just crazy sometimes!!

10thfo

Most definitely. I grew up sheltered, and never knew how to take compliments. Then fought a bad battle with PTSD and depression from combat and family loss. As I was battling it, I learned to be a lot more sensitive, and even with my wife, when she gained weight, it never bothered me, because I did love her as a person. When she started losing, she was most definitely more attractive to other men. She still doesn't believe it. But i loved the person of who she was/is.

Back to the point. I became a lot more interested in being a better, more connected person when this was taking place. Learned how to open up. With that, I became more confident about what people wanted, and actually listening to them. Somewhere in me at times, I still see the younger me, that was HWP, and muscular. And the confidence of my knowledge leads me on.

Then there are the other days when the depression hits of where I am now, and even if a woman smiles at me, I just kind of grin back and drop my head and walk by.

rduhlir

I have started getting stares from men at the gym...and I haven't really lost a lot of weight yet. But, I can feel eyes on me when I get on the treadmill and run, or if I am in the squat rack.

And you can tell it isn't the, "What the hell is a she doing," look...its the, "Yeah...do another squat so I have reason to stare at your butt" look....I find it flattering...just hope my husband doesn't catch them...lol...

Monica_has_a_goal

I'd like to hear from people who experience a noticeable increase in sexual/romantic attention from others after losing weight? How do you experience and/or handle this?

I ask too because sometimes people gain weight as a form of hiding from attention or feeling uncomfortable with it.

After being married in 1987 (@ 20 YO) my husband turned from the affectionate boyfriend of a five year relationship to this horrible jealous monster and I immediately gained 40 pounds in the first two years of our marriage to hide from the opposite sex.
If I had been a stronger woman, perhaps I could have dealt with this situation differently, and believe me, I wish I had.
After having our daughter I gained more weight and have been heavy ever since..

Until last year when I broke my ankle. As I sat there I complained about not being able to move and had a foregleam of my future.. A FAT OLD GRANDMA (someday) NOT BEING ABLE TO PLAY AND ENJOY A LONG LIFE WITH MY LOVED ONES.

I decided to ask around for help and now that I'm losing weight I've been flirted with .. even in front of my husband.. haha.. and I have to say .. it really is an Ego Boost that keeps me motivated to lose even more weight and get healthy.

SO to anyone who's trying to figure out what's right for them and their situations, ..... take it from someone who found out 25 years too late.. DO THIS FOR YOURSELF AND NOT FOR ANYONE ELSE> YOU DESERVE IT!

zealousmissjj_wechange

No, not a lot of attention that I know of. Unfortunately my sexdrive has gone up like 500% so that combo sucks..:laugh:

Songbird1104

I really think its mainly confidence. When you don't feel attractive because you're not happy with your weight you look sad. People don't like sad, unconfident people.

Conversely, when you feel sexy and toned (even if you statistically still are overweight), you just ooze happiness and good vibes. People are attracted to happy, confident people.

Take it all in stride. Be complimented and feel good and then use that as fire to keep going.

Yes, well put.

(Slight rabbit trail: Confidence is hugely underestimated. I've known some heavier people who exude confidence and get plenty of attention because they are happy with themselves. Conversely, I've know some skinny-minnies who don't have any self confidence, and are overlooked because they seem to be invisible. It's fascinating how self confidence in oneself can raise others' awareness of you.)

lieselLalor

I've definitely gotten more attention, and in ways it's nice but in others it does make me uncomfortable. I get really embarrassed and can't talk to people but afterwards I'm flattered. Even my husband has been constantly complimenting me and I have a hard time accepting those compliments.

crimsoncat

It's sickening the amount of difference I see in how I'm treated.

When I was 150-160lbs I was told I was cute exclusively by grandparents of my friends and family members. My fiance fell in love with me when I had those extra 30 lbs because I "had a really pretty face" and he's a face guy. Since I've lost weight the following has happened:

-I have doors held for me at least 3 times a week by men
-I have been offered drinks about twice a month
-I have had to decline seven date invites
-I have has 4 cars come to a complete stop to tell me I'm pretty (I'm not even kidding. Yes it was as weird as it sounds.)
-I have been hit on by men twice my age and teenagers
-I have caused a 50 year old man to get elbowed by his wife for gawking and saying "wow" in the grocery store
-I have been in four times as many pictures when in costume in anime conventions even if the people don't know who I am
-I have been asked to pose with foreign men in photos because I was considered "super cute!"
-I have been cat called or honked at about once a month, especially when walking on the sidewalk
-I get service in stores (from male and female clerks) twice as often as before even if I don't ask for help
-I have been mistaken for a Disney princess (Ariel, Belle), and Barbie by 3 different little girls
-I have had 14 men help me unload my car or carrying things for me without my asking for help
-I have been asked to take 3 pictures with lesbians because "I gotta show my girlfriend! You're too cute!"
-I am now referred to as "sexy" and "hot" in addition to "cute"

And this is not even half the crap that goes down.

Don't get me wrong, I love the attention. I love being hot/cute enough to stop traffic. However, I find it a bit obvious that no one treated me this way before.

laurenz2501

I really think its mainly confidence. When you don't feel attractive because you're not happy with your weight you look sad. People don't like sad, unconfident people.

Conversely, when you feel sexy and toned (even if you statistically still are overweight), you just ooze happiness and good vibes. People are attracted to happy, confident people.

Take it all in stride. Be complimented and feel good and then use that as fire to keep going.

This. My confidence skyrocketed and I'm MUCH happier when I lose weight. Even though I only lost 7lbs, it's a big difference in my clothes sizes, so I can fit into my favorite clothes again and I don't get AS depressed trying clothes on.

GetHotIn2014

I personally don't think that getting more attention after weight loss is "mostly" to do with increased confidence. I've always been pretty confident and outgoing, but when I lose weight I already know I'll get checked out and flirted with more, because I'll LOOK healthy and fit! Men especially are very visual. Of course if you don't flaunt your body and you don't look your best even with a fit body shape people won't notice, but if you do flaunt it, or at least compliment it with your style, you will get a lot more attention when you go out.

jbutterflye

It's sickening the amount of difference I see in how I'm treated.

When I was 150-160lbs I was told I was cute exclusively by grandparents of my friends and family members. My fiance fell in love with me when I had those extra 30 lbs because I "had a really pretty face" and he's a face guy. Since I've lost weight the following has happened:

-I have doors held for me at least 3 times a week by men
-I have been offered drinks about twice a month
-I have had to decline seven date invites
-I have has 4 cars come to a complete stop to tell me I'm pretty (I'm not even kidding. Yes it was as weird as it sounds.)
-I have been hit on by men twice my age and teenagers
-I have caused a 50 year old man to get elbowed by his wife for gawking and saying "wow" in the grocery store
-I have been in four times as many pictures when in costume in anime conventions even if the people don't know who I am
-I have been asked to pose with foreign men in photos because I was considered "super cute!"
-I have been cat called or honked at about once a month, especially when walking on the sidewalk
-I get service in stores (from male and female clerks) twice as often as before even if I don't ask for help
-I have been mistaken for a Disney princess (Ariel, Belle), and Barbie by 3 different little girls
-I have had 14 men help me unload my car or carrying things for me without my asking for help
-I have been asked to take 3 pictures with lesbians because "I gotta show my girlfriend! You're too cute!"
-I am now referred to as "sexy" and "hot" in addition to "cute"

And this is not even half the crap that goes down.

Don't get me wrong, I love the attention. I love being hot/cute enough to stop traffic. However, I find it a bit obvious that no one treated me this way before.

WOW!

panamapups

I think I got more attention before, to be honest. Especially around140lbs -ish. Now I'm 127 and only chicks check me out LOL

I so UNDERSTAND that!!! I want to fit back into my size 4's but honestly I got more male attention in my size 7-8's, currently I'm in 9-10 and looking to fit back into my size 4's because thats what I like, men seem to prefer the more robust shapely size 8ish! Ironic huh! Life is good! :blushing:

mizzthang

I have always had people say nice things even when I was at my biggest but I get even more attention now.. Some are a little over the top though... And I also get the opposite.. as some are frosty towards me now... I find it quite amusing though... My feet remain firmly planted on the ground and I am determined to make sure this weight loss does not go to my head...I have witnessed some people who have lost weight change for the worst because they have a cocky attitude.....

rlb8788

My favorite article!

http://www.thefrisky.com/2010-08-09/girl-talk-i-lost-100-pounds-and-found-out-what-the-world-thinks-of-fat/

jbutterflye

Excellent article! Thank you.

It is rather sad though, isn't it, that our society is set up that way?

MirjaH79

My favorite article!

http://www.thefrisky.com/2010-08-09/girl-talk-i-lost-100-pounds-and-found-out-what-the-world-thinks-of-fat/

The article is interesting, and the comments even more so! See the newest comments, there are many spot-on viewpoints to contemplate upon.

rlb8788

What also bothers me is how society views "skinny" people as healthy.. When I was maybe around 210 pounds or so, I was on an elliptical busting my *kitten* on a preset of hills and next to me, a fairly thin girl with a trainer gets on an identical elliptical. I noticed she picked the same preset and she was huffing and puffing and had to stop in the middle of it. Yet society labels me as the unhealthy one..:grumble:

I have noticed a difference with attention, but I agree that I'm sure confidence also is a factor. I personally don't know how to handle any positive attention. So many years of snickering and feeling invisible, that even when someone looks and smiles at me while opening the door feels odd. I have also seen and heard of negative attention as well.. Like me losing weight threatens others that I've known all my life, especially my other larger friends. Like I left their secret fat club and labeled as "too good" for them anymore.

marishka04

bump

smantha32

bump