Do you get a lot more attention after weight loss?

Kurrsteee

Can't say I've had more attention since losing weight, but I can say that the amount of attention I got on nights out progressively got less and less as I put the weight on.
Hopefully when I'm next out I'll be the old size 10 me again and I'll be able to comment further!

HealthWoke0ish

Yep...it's growing. But it wasn't so bad before...I've got a good personality (fun and witty guy) and some dinero (attorney), but it IS fun to be checked out from time to time.

Looking forward to hitting and then going sub-goal. Good luck, everyone!

HealthWoke0ish

Most definitely. I grew up sheltered, and never knew how to take compliments. Then fought a bad battle with PTSD and depression from combat and family loss. As I was battling it, I learned to be a lot more sensitive, and even with my wife, when she gained weight, it never bothered me, because I did love her as a person. When she started losing, she was most definitely more attractive to other men. She still doesn't believe it. But i loved the person of who she was/is.

Back to the point. I became a lot more interested in being a better, more connected person when this was taking place. Learned how to open up. With that, I became more confident about what people wanted, and actually listening to them. Somewhere in me at times, I still see the younger me, that was HWP, and muscular. And the confidence of my knowledge leads me on.

Then there are the other days when the depression hits of where I am now, and even if a woman smiles at me, I just kind of grin back and drop my head and walk by.

Keep your head up, my man. You're on the right path. #support!

aprmay

I will keep this thread and read it again when I lose more weight. But I definitely feel that yes, I will get more attention with weight loss. In the past, I have and I wasn't comfortable with it, but I think I am ready now.

Yolanda4160

I'm married but I definitely get more attention from men now. I even had family members tell me I am "more beautiful now" with the weight off. IDK

Cdaleerdman

That happened to me recently and I was very uncomfortable. I don't know how I would feel when I am normal sized.

Southernbelle90

Yes! But remember If they dont want you at your worse then they sure as hell dont deserve you at your best.

jbutterflye

Yes! But remember If they dont want you at your worse then they sure as hell dont deserve you at your best.

I understand what you mean. However I also feel that people can't help what they're attracted to physically. They may care about someone very much regardless of what they look like, but sexual/physical attraction doesn't necessarily have to do with love but exists on a whole different level. I think I've come to the point that I no longer object to how people are wired naturally, and no longer feel they *should* be attracted to something they aren't.

jbutterflye

Was also thinking last night that some people are much more sensitive in general, and the attention from others almost feels intrusive at times. Like feeling undressed by their eyes or something. lol! And maybe those same extra-sensitive people may have gained weight, in part, as a sort of protective layer, a way of withdrawing and hiding. Just a thought....

2Blackbirds

Was also thinking last night that some people are much more sensitive in general, and the attention from others almost feels intrusive at times. Like feeling undressed by their eyes or something. lol! And maybe those same extra-sensitive people may have gained weight, in part, as a sort of protective layer, a way of withdrawing and hiding. Just a thought....

That was absolutely true for me. And now that the weight is (mostly) off, I feel like mentally I am still at the stage I was when I first started encountering unwanted attention. Like, I'm in my 30s, and if I had always been at this healthy weight, by now I would have about 20 years of experience dealing with creepy dudes flirting when I want to be left alone, but instead, I have the same amount of experience as I did when I first started getting hit on before I gained weight 20 years ago, and therefore I'm still new at this. Does that make sense?

It's awkward because I have close friend who has also lost a lot of weight and she LOVES all the attention she gets now, and I don't relate to that at all and I can't explain to her why it's so uncomfortable to me. Maybe I'm just shy. Or maybe I need therapy? :ohwell:

smantha32

bump

katedevall

I really think its mainly confidence. When you don't feel attractive because you're not happy with your weight you look sad. People don't like sad, unconfident people.

Conversely, when you feel sexy and toned (even if you statistically still are overweight), you just ooze happiness and good vibes. People are attracted to happy, confident people.

Take it all in stride. Be complimented and feel good and then use that as fire to keep going.

I agree ^^^^

jbutterflye

Was also thinking last night that some people are much more sensitive in general, and the attention from others almost feels intrusive at times. Like feeling undressed by their eyes or something. lol! And maybe those same extra-sensitive people may have gained weight, in part, as a sort of protective layer, a way of withdrawing and hiding. Just a thought....

That was absolutely true for me. And now that the weight is (mostly) off, I feel like mentally I am still at the stage I was when I first started encountering unwanted attention. Like, I'm in my 30s, and if I had always been at this healthy weight, by now I would have about 20 years of experience dealing with creepy dudes flirting when I want to be left alone, but instead, I have the same amount of experience as I did when I first started getting hit on before I gained weight 20 years ago, and therefore I'm still new at this. Does that make sense?

It's awkward because I have close friend who has also lost a lot of weight and she LOVES all the attention she gets now, and I don't relate to that at all and I can't explain to her why it's so uncomfortable to me. Maybe I'm just shy. Or maybe I need therapy? :ohwell:

I forgot all about this thread and just saw this. Yes, it does make sense what you're saying and no I don't think you necessarily need therapy. Not to say it couldn't be helpful just that I personally don't seek out doctors and professionals for what I consider to be common ups and downs of life... try to handle most things myself, but that's just me.

I really think people are just wired differently and some people are naturally more sensitive, pick up on more details in their surrounding, more attuned to energy and vibes, more aware of the subtleties of life. So dealing with more attention especially after a period of feeling invisible requires new tools and new skills. It can be a great opportunity to look at the thoughts that come up when someone gives us attention and to notice any self judgment or self criticism. In a way I think it's easier to feel self critical when someone else notices, as if we go through a mental checklist, wondering what they see and if they're seeing our flaws. Maybe it's an opportunity to be unconditionally accepting of ourselves, finally, and who cares what they think anyway? Maybe it's an opportunity to not care if someone is looking at you like a hungry lion at a piece of fresh steak. lol!

We all have a different background as to what drove us to gain weight. Some have abuse issues in their past, and it seems like dropping the pounds can bring certain things up to the surface to face, things we've been avoiding.

Best wishes.

SherryTeach

Yes, I'm getting quite a lot of attention. At 58, I'm quite okay with that!

MzzFaith

Happily married for 8 yrs not going back, keep looking, bump doing better than ever

oldfatso2

I'm 64. No one pays attention to me no matter how thin I am. Lol

Pidgeywendy

Loving your attitude girl!

fitfreakymom

Yes... sometimes it makes me uncomfortable. Sometimes it's great!

This but only uncomfortable if they come on strong but just tell them I am married and that usually stops it lol but yes you will get more attention some will be noticeable and some wont. It comes with the territory people like looking at people who are fit looking and healthy, it is natural human behaviour be proud of it!. Getting checked out/ more attention because you are in shape is better than getting stared at because you are out of shape cause I used to get that especially when I was eating or looking at clothes that were not in my size.

fitfreakymom

I can also be a bit oblivious to the attention I get But I work at a water slide and my boss told me that if I was not married they could have had me married off by the end of the summer lol I lost count of how many men asked if I would save them if they jumped in the pool and pretended to be drowning or would say hey I cant swim, if I jump in would you save me lol.

JDMarlowe

I think I do get more attention. Or maybe it's just I am more self confident so I notice more now.
My wife thinks that I get a lot more attention now though....

fitfreakymom

Sometimes our partners will notice the extra attention even when we don't.

UnoDrea3732

I know when I hit my all time low it was difficult going out with my friends because of the attention. I think that is mainly the reason for me packing on the lbs.

I definitely know that sex was better and my DH can 2nd that.

TheFitHooker

Yes I've exp. this a lot. Normally when it happens, I will smile and be very sarcastic because, well that's me.

I had a few guys make comments like "Why do you have to be married" these are guys I'm actually friends with, and they wouldn't have a chance anyway because they are like 10 year's younger then I am, and I told the last one that "Because when I met my husband I was 19, which mean's you were 9, it never would have worked".

I had a guy when I was waiting tables say "What would it take for me to bring you home with me tonight?" I replied "A million dollars and a talk with my husband." Guy said "Oh you're married?" I replied "Well I guess that's why he keeps waking up next to me every morning for the past 10 years."

I had a guy once ask me to go home with him and I just replied with "I'm sorry, I'm happily married." All that got me was a "I didn't invite your husband, just you." SMH... So I learned to go with the sarcastic replies, that seems to always work.

It usually breaks the ice, either they laugh and realize it isn't gonna happen and they talk to me like a person and not like a piece of meat. Or they get pissy and leave. Which ever is fine by me.

DenverGirl93

Yes, and it's a funny thing. I went through many fat and invisible years and because of that, I do appreciate the looks or comments, but at the same time I think to myself that if I am the same person as before, why should weight make a difference to others and their treatment of me? just felt a bit let down that we could all be so superficial. But I do get that we are physical beings and are affected by first impressions. After that, we have to keep them interested with something else than the physical attraction. I just thank God that I've been married to the same man who has seen me at my best and my worst, and loved me the same through all of it!
I

Yes!!!! and my sentiments exactly!

shaydon80

I ask too because sometimes people gain weight as a form of hiding from attention or feeling uncomfortable with it.

This is me. When I was at my thinnest (about a year ago) I got a lot of attention. It scared me and I went back to old habits (comfort food, late night snacking, etc) and I gained back about 20lbs. I want to go back to the weight at which I feel best, but I have no idea how to deal with this issue.

tinglesby

I do. And thats all well and fine; but the thing i hate is when people who treated me like **** when i was heavier all of a sudden are super nice to me. Screw that mess!! Fake, pretentious people!!

KANGOOJUMPS

hell yeah!

Devasation

Yes. I showed my girlfriend whom I've been dating for about a month or so my "before" pics, and she said she said she probably wouldn't have noticed me at all looking the way I used to.

Superficial, yeah, but hey, thems are the breaks. She also does crossfit, so being healthy, etc., is a big deal to her.

EmilyEmpowered

I really don't get any more attention,maybe because I don't ever go anywhere except the grocery store and work,unless I'm with my kids...I'm feeling left out now,Lol. Of course I didn't lose weight to get more attention,so I guess I'll get over it! I only get bothered when I hear my friends saying how they're always getting hit on,and I realize the homeless guy who opened the door at the gas station was the closet I got :laugh: (&I think he was just hoping for a dollar!)

lucystacy71

I was never really the type of person who attracted a lot of attention, and I truly haven't noticed any more lately. Of course, I still have a long way to go.