For Big Women on the Edge When the Subway is Too Crowded

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Replies

  • ddnyr
    ddnyr Posts: 6 Member
    you are an inspiration! Love what you wrote! You are right on!
  • carriempls
    carriempls Posts: 326 Member
    She had her purse on the seat next to her and had the gall to ask you to move over where you were STANDING?

    That's some bs right there. I would have asked her to move her purse so I could sit. I kid you not.

    Good for you.
  • GorillaNJ
    GorillaNJ Posts: 4,024 Member
    Sitting on the subway is always a tricky issue... Why did you not tell her to move her bag and sit down next to her? I ride the PATH into NYC everyday and that seems to be the common action.

    And she really gave you crap for standing in front of her? She is already sitting what more does she want for her comfort.
  • Weighinginwithmy02
    Weighinginwithmy02 Posts: 369 Member
    I wrote a similar rant after hearing people refer to an overweight colleague as a fat so and so, as if fat was a personality trait, which pisses me off to no end! fat is something you HAVE, not something you ARE! You can read it here if you'd like.

    http://projectblissful.com/fyi-fat-is-not-a-personality-trait/
  • infamousmk
    infamousmk Posts: 6,033 Member
    I read to "tiny, underfed chick" and stopped. Listen, I understand what it's like to be a large woman and feel like I'm in someones' space, or to even have someone take issue with my being in their space... but I would never, EVER choose to call out their size or figure -- I don't care what she said or did to you. If you feel it's necessary to point out a woman's small size by using terms like 'underfed', you are no better.


    Good day.
  • AngNY
    AngNY Posts: 193
    I seriously wish I was right next to you when this happened. How dare she. People truly have some nerve.
  • _Elemenopee_
    _Elemenopee_ Posts: 2,665 Member
    As a fellow NYer, I applaud your standing your ground, literally. I do not however condone body shaming. In EITHER direction. You describing her as an underfed tiny person is just as bad as her calling you fat.

    I go through what you go through every day and I feel your pain but please don't add insult to injury. If you're going to be the better person, which you just about were, be the better person all around.

    :flowerforyou:
  • _SusieQ_
    _SusieQ_ Posts: 2,964 Member
    I read to "tiny, underfed chick" and stopped. Listen, I understand what it's like to be a large woman and feel like I'm in someones' space, or to even have someone take issue with my being in their space... but I would never, EVER choose to call out their size or figure -- I don't care what she said or did to you. If you feel it's necessary to point out a woman's small size by using terms like 'underfed', you are no better.


    Good day.

    I have to agree with MK. The woman may have been a b!tch, but you adding labels to her such as "skinny" and "underfed" is no better than her calling you fat. People think skinny is a compliment, but I have friends who struggle to put on weight, and they do not view this as a compliment most times.
  • perfectingpatti
    perfectingpatti Posts: 1,037 Member
    What I read is that you have a problem with skinny women with big purses because you think they all look at you a certain way. This lady sounds rude, but if I had been sitting there watching the two of you cuss at each other, discuss your levels of education and backgrounds, and threaten to fight each other, I'd find you both rude and on edge.
  • lilac67
    lilac67 Posts: 311
    I applaud you, Macaya5! We are truly the last "minority" that it is politically correct to treat as non-human beings. WTG!
  • AlsDonkBoxSquat
    AlsDonkBoxSquat Posts: 6,128 Member
    I traveled for work a lot when I was pregnant and found that in the US I was always left standing and in London was always offered a seat (by that point I was 7 months pregnant and definitely grateful). In the US I was always crowded and elbowed out of the way and in busy London I was always offered a wide birth (maybe they were afraid it would be contagious). It's not just this, but the fact is people are rude and self involved, they don't want to be aware or inconvenienced by others. I don't like it, but I come to expect it. That being said, bravo for not being the aggressor, and not being bullied. I would have had a hard time not telling that woman "yeah? Well I'm well on my way to losing this weight, so that's something I can change . . . you on the other hand will always be a c"

    That being said, you almost lost me at the insults that you wrote about her. Body shaming goes both ways and is never acceptible.
  • infamousmk
    infamousmk Posts: 6,033 Member
    I applaud you, Macaya5! We are truly the last "minority" that it is politically correct to treat as non-human beings. WTG!

    Pretty sure "obese" isn't a minority that needs to be protected....
  • nturner612
    nturner612 Posts: 710 Member
    i love it! n im sorry that this happened to u but u handled it WELL!:flowerforyou: :drinker:
  • fitfreakymom
    fitfreakymom Posts: 1,400 Member
    If her pedigree was so great, you'd think she'd have a car and driver?!

    And not threatening to pound the crap out people lol
  • losingweightatl
    losingweightatl Posts: 34
    I applaud you, Macaya5! We are truly the last "minority" that it is politically correct to treat as non-human beings. WTG!

    Pretty sure "obese" isn't a minority that needs to be protected....

    Think that's the same thing Caucasians said about African Americans back in the 60's.
  • ShreddedTweet
    ShreddedTweet Posts: 1,326 Member
    I applaud you, Macaya5! We are truly the last "minority" that it is politically correct to treat as non-human beings. WTG!

    Pretty sure "obese" isn't a minority that needs to be protected....

    Think that's the same thing Caucasians said about African Americans back in the 60's.

    Pretty sure it's not but way to make a ridiculous comparison.
  • losingweightatl
    losingweightatl Posts: 34
    Um pretty sure it is. Perhaps you don't know the history of America. :)
  • ShreddedTweet
    ShreddedTweet Posts: 1,326 Member
    Um pretty sure it is. Perhaps you don't know the history of America. :)

    I really do but I'm disinclined to argue with a person who can see a correlation between race and weight because you can't reason with a crazy person.
  • losingweightatl
    losingweightatl Posts: 34
    My reasoning is that "obese" people are treated like second class citizens or beneath others who are not obese. Call me crazy but America has a long history of mistreating others who are DIFFERENT not only race but religion, sex, and many others.
  • rita27ny
    rita27ny Posts: 820 Member
    im from ny too. some peoople can be so inconsiderate. u should have taken her purse and threw it in her face or push her bag.
  • k8blujay2
    k8blujay2 Posts: 4,941 Member
    I applaud you, Macaya5! We are truly the last "minority" that it is politically correct to treat as non-human beings. WTG!

    Pretty sure "obese" isn't a minority that needs to be protected....

    Think that's the same thing Caucasians said about African Americans back in the 60's.

    Um... considering weight can be changed and skin color cannot be (at least not permanently without a host of chemicals) that is a hyperbolic statement.
  • perfectingpatti
    perfectingpatti Posts: 1,037 Member
    im from ny too. some peoople can be so inconsiderate. u should have taken her purse and threw it in her face or push her bag.

    Yes. That's the classy way to go.

    Seriously....why not just ask her nicely to move her purse so you could have a seat? Why stand right in front of her, taking up as much space as you could, knowing she'd be pissed instead of just asking her to move her purse?
  • losingweightatl
    losingweightatl Posts: 34
    Still doesn't change the fact that people treat obese people differently. Do you think its right?
  • perfectingpatti
    perfectingpatti Posts: 1,037 Member
    Um... considering weight can be changed and skin color cannot be (at least not permanently without a host of chemicals) that is a hyperbolic statement.

    This is far too logical for some people. You should know that.
  • k8blujay2
    k8blujay2 Posts: 4,941 Member
    I read to "tiny, underfed chick" and stopped. Listen, I understand what it's like to be a large woman and feel like I'm in someones' space, or to even have someone take issue with my being in their space... but I would never, EVER choose to call out their size or figure -- I don't care what she said or did to you. If you feel it's necessary to point out a woman's small size by using terms like 'underfed', you are no better.


    Good day.
    As a fellow NYer, I applaud your standing your ground, literally. I do not however condone body shaming. In EITHER direction. You describing her as an underfed tiny person is just as bad as her calling you fat.

    I go through what you go through every day and I feel your pain but please don't add insult to injury. If you're going to be the better person, which you just about were, be the better person all around.

    :flowerforyou:

    I agree with both of these, completely. When a person stoops to the level of another person then they are no better. Good for you for standing up to her... but there was no reason to be rude back.
  • infamousmk
    infamousmk Posts: 6,033 Member
    My reasoning is that "obese" people are treated like second class citizens or beneath others who are not obese. Call me crazy but America has a long history of mistreating others who are DIFFERENT not only race but religion, sex, and many others.

    You are making quite the stretch.. obese people aren't being told they can't use the same restrooms or shop in the same stores... fat kids still get to go to school with everyone else... Obesity is an epidemic - it's a serious health concern for the entire nation. Accepting fat people as a protected class isn't going to help our nation recover our collective health and wellness in any way. I'm all for treating people with kindness and respect - always, and I believe that everyone should be proud of themselves for who they are and not allow their weight to define them.... BUT, being fat is not a protected class, it is a terrible health condition.
  • k8blujay2
    k8blujay2 Posts: 4,941 Member
    Um... considering weight can be changed and skin color cannot be (at least not permanently without a host of chemicals) that is a hyperbolic statement.

    This is far too logical for some people. You should know that.

    I know... Silly me, what am I thinking.
  • macaya5
    macaya5 Posts: 75
    Thank you to everyone who laughed, thought this was about sammiches, posted an awesome gif, started a slow clap, related and friended me! You guys are awesome and THANK YOU SO MUCH for having a sense of humor and understanding where this is coming from.

    Sorry for all those people I "lost" by describing this woman as tiny and underfed. Oh well. Not everyone is going to be my friend. Fortunately, the internets is a big place.

    Just for the record, I didn't ask to sit. I knew the train would clear out in a few stops and if it didn't, it wouldn't be the first or last time I stood for an hour on the train. this chick was splayed out, had a bag on the seat next to her and was pissy because I was standing in front of her. she wanted me to move, to not exist, to be elsewhere. her choice was move or get kicked. THAT is why I didn't back down.

    Further, this is a thing on the subways. The article is dated, but it's been documented.

    http://www.nbcnews.com/id/16444534/#.URptOFpU4cs

    "Sick subway passengers, most of them dieters who faint from dizziness, are among the top causes of train delays, according to the Metropolitan Transportation Authority."
  • Dudagarcia
    Dudagarcia Posts: 849 Member
    U r awesome and glad you stood your ground! ????
  • k8blujay2
    k8blujay2 Posts: 4,941 Member
    Still doesn't change the fact that people treat obese people differently. Do you think its right?

    Everybody gets treated differently for a whole host of reasons... because they are too smart, too ignorant, too tall, too short, too dark, too light, too whatever.... I'm not saying it's right... but making a hyperbolic statement comparing a lot of these to the US race history does nothing for your argument. It just makes it absolutely ridiculous.

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