No Homo?

zoose

I just don't get everyone that gets "hurt" or "offended" at comments not directed at you or anyone in particular. Some people hate the word retarded and yes it is insensitive but someone that looks at a sculpture and says wow that is retarded is not intentionally trying to hurt anyone it is not the same as insulting and mentally handicapped person. People need to quit being some damned sensitive about everything.

Its called "common sense"...those who have it are not offended by every shortened word people say/type..

It would be outrageously offensive if people regularly said things like "I want some fried chicken - no nig." It uses a stereotype and a shortened version of a seriously offensive term. It is equally offensive when someone says "you're looking good - no homo." It's a derrogatory and completely unnecessary comment and should be treated as such. People with common sense and the capability of reasoning understand that.

Thats what I was trying to say unsuccessfully in numerous posts. Ill have to remember that for the next time I see this come up. Nice one!

coyoteo

If people ended stupid statements with "No blond" I wouldn't be insulted. Same thing. Maybe not taking things personally would help? It's not like it's all directed expressly at YOU.

polarsjewel

Are the majority of guys on this site so insecure with their sexuality that if they compliment another guy, they have to end the comment with "no homo"? As a gay guy, I find this kind of insulting. As if being gay is something I should be ashamed of and requires a disclaimer. Yes homo.

The problem that I have with the 'no homo' phrase is the suggestion that a gay man complimenting another man (gay or straight) is somehow inherently sexual. I have said to many of my male friends, gay and straight, that they look buff or their haircut suits them etc. and there is nothing sexual in it. The suggestion in the phrase 'no homo' is the age old homophobic idiom that because I am gay I will automatically want to sleep with 'you' (the heterosexual male) and I am somehow incapable of forming plutonic relationships with other men. That, I find insulting.

As I bi woman, I think the above statement is very well said...bravo

RobfromLakewood

I don't care who it comes from... a compliment is a compliment.

Somebody straight says "would bang" - that's a compliment, somebody gay says the same thing - it's still a compliment.

There let's see who that offends!

Doesn't offend me, I've always felt that way. Not every compliment I've received has resulted in a romance from women, but it was still a compliment I appreciated. Why would I feel any different when complimented by a man?

ncahill77

I just don't get everyone that gets "hurt" or "offended" at comments not directed at you or anyone in particular. Some people hate the word retarded and yes it is insensitive but someone that looks at a sculpture and says wow that is retarded is not intentionally trying to hurt anyone it is not the same as insulting and mentally handicapped person. People need to quit being some damned sensitive about everything.

Its called "common sense"...those who have it are not offended by every shortened word people say/type..

It would be outrageously offensive if people regularly said things like "I want some fried chicken - no nig." It uses a stereotype and a shortened version of a seriously offensive term. It is equally offensive when someone says "you're looking good - no homo." It's a derrogatory and completely unnecessary comment and should be treated as such. People with common sense and the capability of reasoning understand that.

Edit - I hope I don't get banned for this, because I certainly wouldn't call someone that. It was just an example, used to indicate that even though SOME people don't see this as offensive/think people are being too sensitive, nobody should be surprised when people ARE offended by said phrase.

Then let me clarify, if I don't say anything to be offensive on purpose and I don't want to hurt your feelings then I don't care at all that you are hurt by it. The bottom line is grow up put your big boy or girl panties on and quit dwelling on words that are not directed at you...life is full of wrongs, bullsh#t, and hardship, either deal with it or get emotionally crushed under it.

AliciaStinger

Most straight men don't wanna be called girls...I hope...so why on earth would they want another dude to think they were gay?Nothing wrong with clarifying your manliness when in question......

because gay men aren't 'manly'? LOL wow, expand your horizon's beyond glee please.

Okay...if my man wanted to be called gay or a girl...I'd dump him so fast...I don't know what glee is and....gay me are NOT manly...part of being a man in ALL lifeforms involves chasing the FEMALES..I'm only being honest...

And what exactly is wrong with being female? Why is it so much better to be manly? This is exactly the kind of attitude that drove me away from doing anything associated with being female when I was younger; I didn't wear pink, play with dolls, like makeup, want to carry a purse, or wear a dress. If being a man is so much better than being a woman, then I want to be one, too -- except then I'd be gay, because I was born liking guys.

For the record, there ARE manly gay men. Football players, actors (such as Cary Grant, who was married to at least one woman and starred in the really awesome action film "North by Northwest"), and construction workers. I guess those things all count as "manly". Saying that there are no "manly" gay men is, frankly, as dumb as saying that no straight man is afraid of bugs because being afraid is not manly. Don't make assumptions or generalizations about whole groups of people.

BurtHuttz

For me, personally, if I'm not inspiring straight men to lust, then I'm not working hard enough.

WendyTerry420

In summary can someone state they aren't homosexual without implying its bad to be homosexual?

You can call yourself a "breeder". Then it's OK.

Been called that a number of times by my gay friends. No problem. Proud "breeder" here.

"Breeder" is a term for cattle ranchers, not parents. Ergo, I'm not a breeder.

Apparently it has different meanings depending on who uses them. I have no problem with that. I prefer to not get huffy about slang. My identity doesn't depend on a silly word.

Neither does mine, but I prefer honesty and specificity to slang. For the most part, I quit using slang by the time I left my twenties.

quixoteQ

Those who attempt to classify a phrase as a joke are doing the same thing as those who are attempting to remove a phrase from common speech: they are attempting to control the narrative.

Everyone is attempting to control the narrative. If you want, go ahead and pat yourself on the back when you manage not to feel offended when you hear a slur; but don't kid yourself. The words matter. Do you really think that advertisers are doling out millions of dollars for fifteen seconds of airtime during a television show in order to make the best Super Bowl commercials list? The question isn't whether or not someone will be offended. The question is whether or not language matters. And it does.

jbutterflye

In summary can someone state they aren't homosexual without implying its bad to be homosexual?

You can call yourself a "breeder". Then it's OK.

Been called that a number of times by my gay friends. No problem. Proud "breeder" here.

"Breeder" is a term for cattle ranchers, not parents. Ergo, I'm not a breeder.

Apparently it has different meanings depending on who uses them. I have no problem with that. I prefer to not get huffy about slang. My identity doesn't depend on a silly word.

Neither does mine, but I prefer honesty and specificity to slang. For the most part, I quit using slang by the time I left my twenties.

I find slang to be neither dishonest nor immature. To each their own.

Cheers.

jbutterflye

Those who attempt to classify a phrase as a joke are doing the same thing as those who are attempting to remove a phrase from common speech: they are attempting to control the narrative.

Everyone is attempting to control the narrative. If you want, go ahead and pat yourself on the back when you manage not to feel offended when you hear a slur; but don't kid yourself. The words matter. Do you really think that advertisers are doling out millions of dollars for fifteen seconds of airtime during a television show in order to make the best Super Bowl commercials list? The question isn't whether or not someone will be offended. The question is whether or not language matters. And it does.

Only if we let it.

Unquestioned thoughts lead to compulsive reactions.

SeaRunner26

For me, personally, if I'm not inspiring straight men to lust, then I'm not working hard enough.

Winner!

jbutterflye

For me, personally, if I'm not inspiring straight men to lust, then I'm not working hard enough.

Winner!

True. LOL!

myofibril

Those who attempt to classify a phrase as a joke are doing the same thing as those who are attempting to remove a phrase from common speech: they are attempting to control the narrative.

Everyone is attempting to control the narrative. If you want, go ahead and pat yourself on the back when you manage not to feel offended when you hear a slur; but don't kid yourself. The words matter. Do you really think that advertisers are doling out millions of dollars for fifteen seconds of airtime during a television show in order to make the best Super Bowl commercials list? The question isn't whether or not someone will be offended. The question is whether or not language matters. And it does.

Excellent post.

Words and ideas matter.

jrocnrun

Its really ridiculous. I see it on FB all the time. very insecure and immature.

CaliforniaSweetheart

Wow...still?

quixoteQ

Those who attempt to classify a phrase as a joke are doing the same thing as those who are attempting to remove a phrase from common speech: they are attempting to control the narrative.

Everyone is attempting to control the narrative. If you want, go ahead and pat yourself on the back when you manage not to feel offended when you hear a slur; but don't kid yourself. The words matter. Do you really think that advertisers are doling out millions of dollars for fifteen seconds of airtime during a television show in order to make the best Super Bowl commercials list? The question isn't whether or not someone will be offended. The question is whether or not language matters. And it does.

Only if we let it.

Unquestioned thoughts lead to compulsive reactions.

Question it all you want; the discourse should continue. But don't fool yourself with the commonplace term "we".

neandermagnon

I'm a palaeoanthropology nerd, so whenever I see anything along the lines of "I'm not a homo" it makes me think "so what are you, an australopithecine? :huh:

EatClean_WashUrNuts

I find it offensive that it bothers you so much you Need to know, for if you didn't you wouldn't have created the thread.

To each their own on their mindsets.

If we never complain, how do we expect change to come?

Change comes from how you interpret the present and teach future generations through example. Not by complaining.

I don't think you understand what I mean. If people don't like the way they are treated and never say anything, how would anyone else know it bothered them?

1st, I cant believe this thread is still going

as specific towards your response, I do understand. However, I see that you do not have the foresight in educating those around you. Just because we ***** about an issue doesn't mean it's getting extra attention for "correction". Change comes through action, not whining endlessly. Create it through example and education. Not pissing about a comment.

Open your closed-minded solution to and create a real one.

jbutterflye

Those who attempt to classify a phrase as a joke are doing the same thing as those who are attempting to remove a phrase from common speech: they are attempting to control the narrative.

Everyone is attempting to control the narrative. If you want, go ahead and pat yourself on the back when you manage not to feel offended when you hear a slur; but don't kid yourself. The words matter. Do you really think that advertisers are doling out millions of dollars for fifteen seconds of airtime during a television show in order to make the best Super Bowl commercials list? The question isn't whether or not someone will be offended. The question is whether or not language matters. And it does.

Only if we let it.

Unquestioned thoughts lead to compulsive reactions.

Question it all you want; the discourse should continue. But don't fool yourself with the commonplace term "we".

It's enough for me to know what I know, once I've determined something for myself. When I question my thinking and not give words power over me then I'm happy and at peace. I find it much more enjoyable to live life in a way where I don't automatically assume what someone means. And even if they mean it in a derogatory way, to not let their opinion matter to me MORE than my own peace of mind.