Pregnancy weight gain.......some are gaining too much

kiraleilani

I love when men nag about **** that has nothing to do with them.

SO MUCH WIN.

OP, I'd start running now. Fast. Just back away slowly, then run.

jendraka

Holy crap...ninerbuff. At this point in this conversation do I even dare admit I recognize you? :huh:

ashleab37

So I was at Kaiser today for my DD's standard checkup at 8 years old. While I was waiting in the lobby (DW was in with DD and doctor), I saw several mothers with new babies who were very overweight. I'm not talking 40lbs, but in the realm of 80lbs and higher.
A lot of my clientele are females who are losing baby weight, but all of them are only trying to lose 25llbs-35lbs. This should be the normal amount a female should be gaining when pregnant.

To moms to be: you aren't eating for two. Your nutrition should be much better, but realistically, calories shouldn't really exceed more than 300-350 calories per day on average. It's not a free for all to eat everything. Trust that more you gain, the harder it will be to take off and if that weight doesn't come off, then chances are HIGH that you will end up that weight the majority of your life.

A.C.E. Certified Personal/Group FitnessTrainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

Keep in mind some of them may have been very big to begin with.

Speaking of which, I have a friend who fell pregnant at 120kg. The day she gave birth, she was 110kg. If you're already overweight you really don't need to gain ANYTHING when pregnant.

Melroxsox

because i started out overweight when i got pregnant, im actually losing weight. im 12 weeks now and 7 lbs lighter than before i got preg. this is quite normal according to my dr. because your metabolism is in overdrive creating a new life;) especially good for a pcoser like me, who is used to a very sluggish metabolism.

donnam40

My weight is usually around 62kg at 168cm tall. Both of my pregnancies lead to a 30kg weight gain. For me, it was just what I had to do to carry the pregnancy through. I continued to exercise and tried not to eat too much but it just did not work. Be careful not to be too quick to judge. I had plenty say to me there would be no way I would lose it, but I did and 17 years after the second one I am still 62kg.

Donna

CrazyTrackLady

I've always been curious to know why it's okay to fat bash obese women, expect them to be size 2s, yet if their spouses are obese slobs, nobody gives them a second look or even comments about THEIR obesity?

Because fat men are funny? Somehow more protective? Little "Santa Clauses" in disguise?

obese women = gross, horrible, icky, eww, avert the eyes!

obese men = charming, funny, lovable, fun to be with!

Thoughts?

lioness803

Let's see, at first my doctor told me I wan't gaining enough-the scale actually went down the between the second and third month- and then I gained a lot all at once b/c I tried to eat more and I started throwing up less(although that never went away completely), I had gestational diabetes, but after I had the baby I was only 10-15 lbs heavier than where I started...I know I was overweight to begin with. My little guy is perfectly healthy.
Some days I may have looked like I was eating more than I should be because that was the day I was able to eat with it all coming back up...so yeah, don't judge

devil_in_a_blue_dress

I've asked him repeatedly if he thinks pregnant women are just undereducated and actually think they can eat 4k calories and gain "normal" amounts of weight or if maybe some women let loose for other reasons -- like having an excuse to not acquiesces to societal pressure to be thin/watch what they eat etc. I also find it odd that he didn't consider women who gain a lot of weight were experiencing an medical problem that caused it, especially since he claims his wife had a difficult pregnancy. I wonder how he would have felt if some person that didn't know her situation would have determined that she was just lazy.

Let's not over exaggerate......you asked once before this post, so now this is twice.
Could it be under education? If they are new mothers, that's possible. The US doesn't have free health care (it should but that's another thread) and I'm sure that there are lots of expectant mothers who may not be getting the information or attention they need for their personal pregnancy. I'm also sure that there are many that think that it's fine to gain a lot of weight. I'm also sure that emotionally, some may suffer from depression which may lead to over eating.
Do medical issues occur that will cause excess weight gain? Sure. Just found information that 2 out of 3 women of reproductive age (15-44) are overweight and 1 out of 4 are obese. Now this is based on BMI (which I'm not a big fan of). Kinda of alarming numbers if you think about it.

http://www.marchofdimes.com/pregnancy/complications_obesity.html


A.C.E. Certified Personal/Group FitnessTrainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

Actually, it's more like 4, but ok!

While I would never advocate that the US's take on medical care is by any means adequate overall (because it's not), Medicaid actually covers most all pregnant women, regardless of income because they are deemed "medically needy" ; even if they surpass the financial limits for regular Medicaid -- it's called expanded eligibility, my friend. Check it out: http://americanpregnancy.org/planningandpreparing/medicaid.html

Sure some women might not know exactly how many more calories per day to when she's pregnant - but most are aware that it's not actually 2,000 additional calories. I would guess that some women are overeating because they feel free to for the first time in their lives to do so. If anyone questions it, they can just say "The baby wants it!". I would guess others over eat because they are VERY hungry. I highly doubt most think to themselves "Oh, I've only eaten 2,200 calories today -- I should eat 1,800 more of my baby won't get enough nutrition!" These two reasons are why you are getting jumped all over.

As a man, you do not face the same pressure to be thin and beautiful that women do. You do not know the relief that some women feel when they get pregnant. For some it translates into fear/anger -- you've seen that here, some women don't want to gain more than x number or pounds or want their hard work to be "undone" by a child. For others, the reaction is "thank god, society expects pregnant women to be fat, so I can let loose!". As somebody who has never been pregnant, you do not understand the how it feels, psychologically, to lose control of your body. Does this men can NEVER talk about pregnancy/give advise? No. But it does mean they need to carefully avoid using words like "should/shouldn't" and make sure they aren't confusing "ideal" pregnancy numbers with "healthy". They also need to make sure they aren't making really unfortunate, easily disputed assumptions -- like in a country where a significant portion of the population is overweight, that the majority of pregnant women started from a healthy weight.

You also might want to avoid taking about your pregnant wife nagging you when you go on to say she had a pregnancy filled with complications and medical procedures like cervical curettage. More than anything that makes you look foolish and betrays that you really have no empathy.

ninerbuff

I've always been curious to know why it's okay to fat bash obese women, expect them to be size 2s, yet if their spouses are obese slobs, nobody gives them a second look or even comments about THEIR obesity?

Because fat men are funny? Somehow more protective? Little "Santa Clauses" in disguise?

obese women = gross, horrible, icky, eww, avert the eyes!

obese men = charming, funny, lovable, fun to be with!

Thoughts?

I'm sure many obese men would chime in if they saw this. I can't think of any obese men who are happy with their weight. They may be funny and joke around to deflect how they feel and are then associated with being fun happy charming.
And obese men get as many "ewwwws" and "grosses" as females do. Possible that you don't hear it as much.
I will say though that if an obese male was rich, it would be much easier for him to draw women, than an obese woman trying to draw men.

A.C.E. Certified Personal/Group FitnessTrainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

ninerbuff

You also might want to avoid taking about your pregnant wife nagging you when you go on to say she had a pregnancy filled with complications and medical procedures like cervical curettage. More than anything that makes you look foolish and betrays that you really have no empathy.

Hmmm, I guess women look at sarcasm a lot harsher than men do. I'm fully aware of why my wife was speaking the way she was and how disappointed she was about having to stay in bed 20 out of 24 hours a day. She apologized to me later about being so *****y through the whole thing and I told her that no apology was necessary and really did wish that I could have burdened some of the issues she was going through. And if we had to do it all over again for another child and she's game, then so am I.

A.C.E. Certified Personal/Group FitnessTrainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

dixiewhiskey

Seriously - the mods need to ban this guy or close his thread. He doesn't have the balls to quote and answer my post but private messages me instead. What a piece of work.

Honestly, I would have thought nothing about what you said but your post is full of assumptions.

One, that everyone posting on MFP is American. Thankfully a lot of us are not American and are not as obese/overweight.. Secondly, you go by BMI. I have been incredibly skinny in young adulthood before having children and still had a BMI that was considered in the "Overweight" category. As a trainer, you must know that one cannot solely use BMI as a means for indicating one's health.. you can have a BMI of 28 and be completely muscular at the same time.

I agree with some of what you say cause some women make it a free for all but your one situation fits all is kinda offensive. Everyone's body and pregnancy is different. Starting a thread directed at pregnant women and individual weight gain is not that helpful - either give your advice to people who ask for it or will pay for it.

devil_in_a_blue_dress

You also might want to avoid taking about your pregnant wife nagging you when you go on to say she had a pregnancy filled with complications and medical procedures like cervical curettage. More than anything that makes you look foolish and betrays that you really have no empathy.

Hmmm, I guess women look at sarcasm a lot harsher than men do. I'm fully aware of why my wife was speaking the way she was and how disappointed she was about having to stay in bed 20 out of 24 hours a day. She apologized to me later about being so *****y through the whole thing and I told her that no apology was necessary and really did wish that I could have burdened some of the issues she was going through. And if we had to do it all over again for another child and she's game, then so am I.

A.C.E. Certified Personal/Group FitnessTrainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

How very big of you, OP.

jendraka

I haven't read through all the pages, but I'm sure someone has to have brought up the fact that difficult or complicated pregnancies, no matter how well a woman eats, can affect her weight gain. If you have complications and simply can't be as active, or are even on bedrest, or suffering from other issues, no matter how well you may eat, you are going to gain more weight than probably desired. It is just entirely too presumptuous for someone to look at any pregnant woman and just make a blanket statement and say they are eating too much or gaining too much. Unless you are their doctor, or close enough to them to be intimately privy to the exact details of their pregnancy and life in general, you have no clue and no right to make any guess, presumption, or statement about what you even think is probably going on with them. So, in the matters of other people's pregnancies...the best policy, keep your mouth shut.

devil_in_a_blue_dress

As long as your doctor says that your pregnancy is healthy, why should it matter how much weight a woman gains? It's not like we treat overweight people poorly....

Oh ... I see.

RiannonC

I don't understand why everyone is so riled about someone making a post on this topic. Society has a vested interest in babies being born healthy, and in their mothers being healthy. Many here seem to be taking this really personally. Maybe it's not necessarily OP's business when it comes to individual pregnant women, sure, but really half the forum posts people start here are about things that aren't their business, like what other people are doing at the gym, etc.

Personally I always looked at pregnancy as a time to be extra careful to eat only the most healthy food because I wanted to give my kids the best, healthiest start in life. I didn't touch fast food or added sugar for the whole 9 months. I was able to be back working out 2 days after coming home from the hospital and ran a half marathon 2 months later. It's certainly not for everyone but it's the way I prefer to do it.

devil_in_a_blue_dress

I don't understand why everyone is so riled about someone making a post on this topic. Society has a vested interest in babies being born healthy, and in their mothers being healthy. Many here seem to be taking this really personally. Maybe it's not necessarily OP's business when it comes to individual pregnant women, sure, but really half the forum posts people start here are about things that aren't their business, like what other people are doing at the gym, etc.

Personally I always looked at pregnancy as a time to be extra careful to eat only the most healthy food because I wanted to give my kids the best, healthiest start in life. I didn't touch fast food or added sugar for the whole 9 months. I was able to be back working out 2 days after coming home from the hospital and ran a half marathon 2 months later. It's certainly not for everyone but it's the way I prefer to do it.

Because it didn't occur to him that the women in his doctor's office he was judging had difficult pregnancies/medical issues that cause them to gain more weight than ideal or that they were overweight to begin with? Maybe some saw it as a continuation of society pressure to live up to some arbitrary standard?

Not gaining too much weight isn't the sole factor for a healthy pregnancy. Should women be diligent in taking care of themselves? Yes. Should we judge how "good" of a job they did carrying their children by their weight? No.

It's lovely you chose to handle your pregnancies the way you did. I had severe morning sickness the entire duration of my pregnancy. I gained 13 pounds - most of that came from Arby's turkey sandwiches and ginger ale because that was literally the ONLY things that didn't make me vomit uncontrollably. My baby was a healthy weight. I had the shortest labor you can imagine and was back to normal entirely within a week.

LOTS of things factor into a pregnancy besides food consumption that contribute to weight gain. Lots of things besides weight factor into health.

dixiewhiskey

No one has even brought up emergency c-sections which drastically affect when a Mom can start working out.. this is why this kind of "advice" should be given by a doctor, not a personal trainer, not other mommies from the internet. What you do in your pregnancy is completely different from the next. Not everyone can be perfect like ninerbuff (who isn't a female btw) and RiannonC who probably didn't have any serious complications in her pregnancy. Guaranteed if I printed some of these posts and took them to OB-GYNs across my country, they would highly recommend not to follow any of the BS posted here.

Mikkimeow

While it would be nice to get back and run a marathon 2 months after having a baby, not all moms are like that. I have seen women on MFP being given the advice to try and lose weight regardless of their doctor's orders. Some women really are very uneducated on how they should be eating. I am sure the OP is very knowledgeable, but honestly, I face so much pressure every single day being pregnant that I don't really care to hear what he has to say. I am lucky enough that I have kept my weight down and been able to have a healthy pregnancy. But I still get jokes from people along the lines of "Oh you really are eating again?" or "You know eating for two is wrong." and these people don't have the slightest clue of how much I really eat. They see my size and think what they want. It seems like everyone and their mother wants to tell me how to eat, exercise and how often to do these things. Those women may have had gestational diabetes, could have been on bed rest the entire time. No one really knows.

And as supportive as men think they are, they have no freaking clue. If I had a dollar for every time my fiance said "How hard can it really be?" I could retire tomorrow. Pregnancy isn't a walk in the park, and for some women, they don't receive the support they need. Maybe a little less judgement would be appreciated.

At the other end of the spectrum, being obese and pregnant can cause serious complications during pregnancy and at birth. I don't think it is ever appropriate to use pregnancy as an excuse to eat like crap 24/7.

jendraka

I don't understand why everyone is so riled about someone making a post on this topic. Society has a vested interest in babies being born healthy, and in their mothers being healthy. Many here seem to be taking this really personally. Maybe it's not necessarily OP's business when it comes to individual pregnant women, sure, but really half the forum posts people start here are about things that aren't their business, like what other people are doing at the gym, etc.

Personally I always looked at pregnancy as a time to be extra careful to eat only the most healthy food because I wanted to give my kids the best, healthiest start in life. I didn't touch fast food or added sugar for the whole 9 months. I was able to be back working out 2 days after coming home from the hospital and ran a half marathon 2 months later. It's certainly not for everyone but it's the way I prefer to do it.

Because even though a woman can do that, eat like that, she can still gain more weight. It really isn't anyone else's business. Oh, and btw, I could do that with my first 2 as well. Bully for you. Doesn't mean anything though. Not all pregnancies are the same.

For example. I haven't really eaten any different for any of my pregnancies. I've never been one to crave sweets so that was never a worry, in fact, my cravings have always been things like salads and orange juice and the like, throw in tacos for good measure. Now, first pregnancy, gain of 18lbs, loss of 20 when she was born. Second, gain of 22lbs, lost it all when she was born. Third, difficult pregnancy with a lot of pain issues which actually resulted in emergency c-section, gain of 40lbs (which I could never figure out how I was gaining that much), lost none when he was born. Fourth, also complications (started as twins, uterine tear, lost one, bedrest and so on) gain of about 25 to 30, again no loss when born. I just ballooned up. It wasn't that I wasn't trying to take care of myself or eat healthy, but the particular pregnancies were just hard on my body. Age also has a lot to do with it. I was much younger with my first two as well.

When someone comes along and makes judgments about how much women gain during pregnancy when they really have no clue the variety of issues each and every woman could be facing, it's just rude. To make this original claim based off a room of pregnant women the OP knows nothing about...I mean...come on.

dixiewhiskey

While it would be nice to get back and run a marathon 2 months after having a baby, not all moms are like that. I have seen women on MFP being given the advice to try and lose weight regardless of their doctor's orders. Some women really are very uneducated on how they should be eating. I am sure the OP is very knowledgeable, but honestly, I face so much pressure every single day being pregnant that I don't really care to hear what he has to say. I am lucky enough that I have kept my weight down and been able to have a healthy pregnancy. But I still get jokes from people along the lines of "Oh you really are eating again?" or "You know eating for two is wrong." and these people don't have the slightest clue of how much I really eat. They see my size and think what they want. It seems like everyone and their mother wants to tell me how to eat, exercise and how often to do these things. Those women may have had gestational diabetes, could have been on bed rest the entire time. No one really knows.

And as supportive as men think they are, they have no freaking clue. If I had a dollar for every time my fiance said "How hard can it really be?" I could retire tomorrow. Pregnancy isn't a walk in the park, and for some women, they don't receive the support they need. Maybe a little less judgement would be appreciated.

At the other end of the spectrum, being obese and pregnant can cause serious complications during pregnancy and at birth. I don't think it is ever appropriate to use pregnancy as an excuse to eat like crap 24/7.

Agreed!