My entire town is sabotaging me!!

pkoll

Sorry, but don't know how to carry over a prior post, but surprisingly enough I do get sarcasm. Thank you Ryandanielle5 for the sarcasm graph on page 4! The problem is, anyone who can't follow the sarcasm thread, probably can't understand the graph. Thanks also to the Sarcasm Society that the graph was borrowed from. AWESOME!

Peanutbutterx

it's nice your putting notes in there, but im sure the parents already know mc donalds is bad for their kids, even someone who knows absolutely nothing about nutrition knows mc donalds is a heart attack in a bag..

you said youve increased your recreational drug use... im guess that would be weed lol im sure its way harder to resist chicken nuggets and mc flurrys if your stoned .. step awaaaay from the bong! i think that might be more of a sabatoge because when i worked at a restaurant back in the day the thought of food sickened me

pkoll

I'm suddenly hungry for a 6 piece nuggets and a yogurt parfait!

goldylocs37

Omg, that was hilarious!

jbutterflye

Omg, that was hilarious!

You have just redeemed humanity, a little. Thank you!:drinker:

jamie610811

Have you ever considered a career change ? Sell donor kebabs and pizzas :laugh:

SpeSHul_SnoflEHk

Please people...I'm begging you to stop taking me seriously. It's not even funny anymore...it's making me weep for humanity.

^ This. It makes me want to go home and contmeplate suicide. Good thing I am too lazy.

Hellbent_Heidi

Please people...I'm begging you to stop taking me seriously. It's not even funny anymore...it's making me weep for humanity.

:laugh: :flowerforyou:

TrishJimenez

You think people would be grateful for the motivational notes you're providing. Those sound so sweet.

Really you should probably sue McDonald's. I understand that they provide free food to employees. That's basically first degree murder if I remember my Law & Order episodes correctly.

LMAO! that is so true!

Flab2fitfi

Put the drugs in the meals and then the they will go on a feeding frenzy with the munchies. This will cause one of two problems:

1) The whole town will eat themselves to death and/or
2) You will sell out of death nuggets etc
and MacDonalds will have to close either through no stock or lack of customers - plus if you use up all your drugs its free rehab.

angeleyes310

I'm standing on the outside looking in. And, from where I stand I can only see two (possibly three) solutions for your predicament. First, and easiest solution, would be to pack up and move from that stinkhole town full of sabateurs. Let them choke on their crispy, salty fries and McRibs...*kitten* deserve it!

Second, and slightly more complicated solution, would be to burn that f'n Mickey D's to the ground! Purge them with flame...but, only during a rush hour or when a couple of busses are there. The fatty, greasy customers will help feed the fire and in no time that place will be just a pile of smoldering ash. Kinda sucks to lose the play area, but in times of war there are sometimes unavoidable losses.

Third, and probably least effective solution, get them to all join MFP! I can't wait to read their message board posts about how they have been walking and cutting down on french fries and dollar drafts for two weeks and still haven't reached their goal weight and they want to quit.

Whatever you do, do not just quit. Then the bastages win! I would start suggestive selling the apple/walnut salad. No particular reason except that it's yummy. :smokin:

Nuke them from orbit, you say? Is it the only way to be sure?

This^^

ki4yxo

Go apply for a job at ModMarket, Garbanzo's or even Chipotle - the worst things on their menus are twice as healthy as the "healthiest" things at Burger Clown.

Chipotle Salad - Chicken, Brown Rice, Black Beans, Lettuce, Tomato Salsa, Vinaigrette,
Servings:
Calories 760 Sodium 1945 mg
Total Fat 36 g Potassium 0 mg
Saturated 7 g Total Carbs 73 g
Polyunsaturated 0 g Dietary Fiber 16 g
Monounsaturated 0 g Sugars 7 g
Trans 0 g Protein 44 g
Cholesterol 115 mg

Mcdonalds - Egg Mcmuffin
Servings:
Calories 300 Sodium 780 mg
Total Fat 12 g Potassium 220 mg
Saturated 5 g Total Carbs 30 g
Polyunsaturated 0 g Dietary Fiber 2 g
Monounsaturated 0 g Sugars 3 g
Trans 0 g Protein 18 g
Cholesterol 260 mg

I do not think the data agree with you.

In less than half the calories, you get more than twice the cholesterol.
Fiber content (per calorie) is a factor of four higher in Chipotle salad

I stand by my argument

It's an egg. There's that much cholesterol in an egg. Even the ones you cook at home.

I stand by mine.

hahaha only thing that can be said was the cholesterol & low fiber? really??
I'm not even a McDonald's fan and I'd pick the McMuffin over that faux salad.

I was only going after the low-hanging fruit....

First, here are the actual numbers on the Salad Bowl from Chipotle:

495 Calories
11.5g Fat
3g Saturated
0g Trans Fats
115g Cholesterol
1240g Sodium
60g Carbs
15g Fiber
5g Sugar
43g Protein

The only difference I could say would be the vinaigrette?? There's no vinaigrette at Chipotle - perhaps you meant Salsa??

At 495 Calories, that's a pretty healthy lunch. Good balance of protein, carbs, vitamins and fiber.

Now, moving on....

Here is the list of the McMuffin's ingredients:

English Muffin:
Enriched flour (bleached wheat flour, malted barley flour, niacin, reduced iron, thiamin mononitrate, riboflavin, folic acid), water, yeast, high fructose corn syrup, sugar, wheat gluten, soybean oil and/or canola oil, contains 2% or less of the following: salt, calcium sulfate, calcium carbonate, citric acid, calcium citrate, yellow corn flour, corn meal, rice flour, barley malt, artificial flavors, natural flavors (botanical source), dough conditioners (ascorbic acid, azodicarbonamide, datem, tricalcium phosphate, monocalcium phosphate, enzymes, calcium peroxide), calcium propionate and potassium sorbate (preservatives), soy lecithin. Prepared with Liquid Margarine.

Egg:
USDA Grade A eggs, soy lecithin (release agent). Prepared with Liquid Margarine.

Pasteurized Process American Cheese:
Milk, water, milkfat, cheese culture, sodium citrate, salt, citric acid, sorbic acid (preservative), sodium phosphate, artificial color, lactic acid, acetic acid, enzymes, soy lecithin (added for slice separation).

Canadian Style Bacon:
Pork, water, sugar, salt, sodium lactate, sodium phosphate, natural flavor (vegetable), sodium diacetate and sodium nitrite (preservatives).

Liquid Margarine:
Liquid soybean oil, water, partially hydrogenated soybean oil, salt, hydrogenated cottonseed oil, soy lecithin, mono-and diglycerides, sodium benzoate and potassium sorbate (preservatives), artificial flavor, citric acid, vitamin A palmitate, beta carotene (color).

If you eat one of those every day, it WILL have negative health effects.

If you eat a Chipotle Salad Bowl every day, you will grow tired of black beans. :laugh:

Acordding to their web site, they do have vinaigrette.

http://www.chipotle.com/en-US/menu/nutrition_calculator/nutrition_calculator.aspx


Depends on what you get on the salad, mine came out to over
2,000mg in sodium. If I ate that everyday, I'd be back on blood
pressure meds!

angeleyes310

This post is absolutely hilarious. For those of you that don't understand the concept of sarcasm......

sbrownallison

The truly subversive approach is to work your way up in the organization. And don't forget: You should not dress for the job you have but for the job you want:. Take over McD.University. Completely revamp the curriculum and menu. If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the problem. Good luck with your journey. (Loved your post!)