Am I being unrealistic?

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  • Mrc1974
    Mrc1974 Posts: 75 Member
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    I am sorry to hear all this is happening and it is easy for all of us to give advise. But reading what you have wrote I think that in your heart of hearts you no it is not correct or normal or fair or really what you want!

    I think you need to value yourself more, by this I mean that you are having to put up with a lot of things which you shouldn't, therefore make a plan of what you want from life and from your partner and if he can not give it to you, which it sounds like he can't, start planning your exit strategy.
    Leaving is hard, but staying and being unhappy will be even harder on you in the long run!

    Good luck, we are here to support you.
  • Terri_terri
    Terri_terri Posts: 42 Member
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    You need professional help before this escalates, not the advice of random punters on the internet.

    If it does escalate: http://www.ncadv.org/protectyourself/GettingHelp.php

    EXACTLY
  • sassafrascas
    sassafrascas Posts: 191 Member
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    In all seriousness joking aside, many people have given you suggestion just based off of what you have said, but you know the whole story, the answer is unanimous you are not being unrealistic. I am just curious to know what you plan to do about it? Keep us posted. Wishing you the best, the very best.
  • Jxnsmma
    Jxnsmma Posts: 919 Member
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    Not only does he sound like a disgusting pig of a human being who is not worth a second of your time, he also sounds dangerous. You need to get out of that environment as soon as possible.

    This... totally. GTFO...
  • jamers3111
    jamers3111 Posts: 495 Member
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    He sounds like a disgusting obnoxious pig. YOU DESERVE BETTER.
  • LaraeTX
    LaraeTX Posts: 672 Member
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    Unrealistic?! Hell no! He needs to learn to become a human!! Get rid of him, you deserve better.
  • skinnyinnotime
    skinnyinnotime Posts: 4,141 Member
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    Run.

    As fast as you can.

    Don't look back.
  • fit_librarian
    fit_librarian Posts: 242 Member
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    DTMFA.
  • BrownEyeAngel
    BrownEyeAngel Posts: 331 Member
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    Get out of that house!
  • laughingdani
    laughingdani Posts: 2,275 Member
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    You need to get out of that situation. Now. Contact the authorities or a women's shelter if you need to.
    One should never use fear to make someone stay with them. It's pathetic.
    Sounds like hygiene is the least of your issues. But his lack of hygiene should be a red flag that he doesn't care about himself
    and therefore is in a wreckless mindset at the moment. People that "have it together" don't live in filth.
  • insanecowgirl
    insanecowgirl Posts: 7
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    You put up with a lot but maybe it's time you stepped away if you are this unhappy.
    Ask yourself one question, "Are you going to marry this man?"
    Don't think about all the past times you've had together where you thought about it, but today with what he's become would you?

    If you are going to school, generally it means you are trying to better yourself so is he just dragging you down?
    His sounds a little like a narcissist to me, and you should never have to put up with that.

    If you do want to still be with him... talk to him. If that doesn't work, well maybe you would change your mind on what you are going to put up with and hit the high road.
  • Julettashane
    Julettashane Posts: 723 Member
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    two words.....GET OUT
  • MsDover
    MsDover Posts: 395 Member
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    Here.... let me hold the door for you while you RUN!!!
  • Vmax1992
    Vmax1992 Posts: 41 Member
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    The behavior goes deep, and it shouldn't be your full time job to be a his shrink. His issues, his job to get help. The most alarming is how you are treated. That is a form of abuse. Do not put up with it,
  • Faye_Anderson
    Faye_Anderson Posts: 1,495 Member
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    I dont have parents and I was in the foster system growing up. I dont have siblings to help me out either.
    I grew up with a mentally ill mother. My brother and I ended up ok
    My mom was 400 pounds... I wish I was joking but she really was. Remember when theater seat armrests didnt lift up? My mom couldnt go to movies because she was so big she couldnt sit in one seat. She had to buy two plane tickets to fit on an airplane. She use to eat so fast that she would throw up.
    I was raised in a single parent home where we couldnt afford food. My mom would literally ask me to make friends at school so I could have sleep overs and steal food from their parntries to eat. Picture that, a 6 year old stealing canned beans from her 'friends'. I was a size zero until 9th grade. My mom made my life awful, it was very similar to the book, "A Child Called It." I had to drop out of high school because my mom was abusive and kicked me out at the age of 16


    It just doesn't add up
  • angiebirdie
    angiebirdie Posts: 64 Member
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    So, um, your abusive boyfriend works in IT, is overly controlling, and you don't get to leave the house. Do you think he might, maybe, just possibly, be able to find what you post online? Hmmmm.....

    I am actually kind of hoping he will find this. If he does, he will see others agree. He refuses to talk to me. I try to talk to him every day and it doesnt work. I try to get him to workout with me... He doesnt seem to want to be with me. I asked him if I should move out when I can and he begs me to stay. . . I am getting mixed signals.

    For your sake, I hope he doesn't find this-- but he will. And from the sound of it, I'm afraid he will try to hurt you. Call a women's shelter hotline from a Payphone. Do NOT search where to go online, and do NOT let the cameras see if you're searching where to go. Leave the house, run away, and do not let him find out where you go. Seriously, Please call the cops and put a restraining order against him. I get that you have had a rough life and you are probably used to being abused but that does not make it OK. I hope you come out of this situation alive and that this doesn't show up on the news. This man is a danger. Please also look up "battered woman syndrome". I know way too many people who have been in abusive relationships, and no woman in the world deserves a guy like yours.
  • chanahliora
    chanahliora Posts: 20
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    I am so sorry you are going through this. Clearly this guy has serious issues and needs professional help. However, there is nothing you can do for him. You can do for you! I am happy to hear you in college. I strongly suggest you get over to the counseling center of your college and meet with a counselor. They will be able to help you cope with this situation and very possibly find a better living situation. Please don't wait. You are being abused by this man. Abuse isn't always physical. Please get help for yourself today! ((hugs))) Keep us posted.
  • HypersonicFitNess
    HypersonicFitNess Posts: 1,219 Member
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    Uh...sorry I couldn't get through the whole thing I grossed out half way....WHAT DO YOU SEE IN HIM AND WHY THE HECK ARE YOU STILL WITH HIM??? GET OUT and AWAY AS FAST AS POSSIBLE. He's a slob and disgusting...nothing is worth living like that. YOU are SO worth more than putting up with that. LEAVE NOW! He might need help but you need it worse.
  • Jooliebean
    Jooliebean Posts: 57 Member
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    Whew...This made me feel really sad. He is definitely In a bad place..and does not want to see you in a better place. I'd venture to guess, he's scared you're gonna cut and run at some point. Maybe when you graduate, etc...and if he doesn't make some attempt to change, YOU SHOULD RUN. FAST. FAR. He sounds as if he has NO CONFIDENCE OR SELF ESTEEM WHATSOEVER. NO RESPECT FOR YOU, AND EXTREMELY BAD HABITS. Stop tending on him. He doesn't live in a hotel. Keep up your school work. Believe in yourself...and NO, you don't have to clean up after someone like that. Bills being paid or no bills being paid. It's just insulting. Everyone has a history...you are not stuck. Go get your hair cut Lady, YOU DESERVE IT. But Your hair looks really nice all the same. Good job! :)
  • Brianna72994
    Brianna72994 Posts: 887
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    Ew, I feel like I need a shower after reading this.


    But anyway, if he can't take care of himself, he's certainly not going to take care of you.

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