Am I being unrealistic?

Justkeepswimmin

I'm having trouble believing you love or respect yourself very much reading that post. Does your college have a free mental health clinic, I'd work with someone towards learning to leave this creap and OMG DO NOT HAVE sex with him. Do not get pregnant and stuck with that disgusting person the rest of your life.

sparklehurte

Sounds like you're in an unhealthy relationship. Also maybe this seems a little normal to you because you had a hard time growing up in Foster Care. It is not right for someone to not want to share all he has with the woman he loves. You are worth getting healthy within yourself.

You wont be able to change your boyfriend. It is up to him to want to change and grow. If he doesn't care then you can only work on yourself. If I were you...I would work on myself. I would write down the type of person I want to be, the type of person you want your mate to be. I would work on making myself happy and healthy first then I think what you will be willling to settle for will be different.

You have all the power within yourself to make a happy life. You don't have to depend on anyone else. You can do it!!!

oppermanncourtney

It sounds like he's given up on your relationship and himself. He obviously needs proffesional help. You may love him but that doesn't mean that you should be with him or that you can help him. You need to live your life and you can't do that when you're afraid to even have friends. You deserve better than that. It's not going to be easy. You'll cry and it'll hurt but that is no way to live.

Sqeekyjojo

My boyfriend is 33 years old and in the obese range. He is 5'9'' and 230 pounds. He never works out. He showers about once a week. I never see him brush his teeth or floss. His toothbrush is yellow, no joke. He accidentally tipped over a can of soda in the guest room last night, didn't clean it up. I found it stuck to the carpet this morning. He never puts his dirty laundry in the hamper I bought for him. He has a custom large walk in closet and he leaves stuff all over the floor. We agreed that I can be in full time college if I clean the house; he pays the bills this year. He doesn't wear boxers and there is actually butt stain marks in his jeans. He will leave wrappers by the bed when there is a trash can less than a foot away. I know 'its my job' to clean everything but really?! Some days I want to scream. He shaves his pubic hairs in the shower, without the shower actually on, leaving a HUGE mess all over. He leaves his facial shavings all over the sink/counter in the bathroom. He is a chain smoker and wipes his crusty smoker lips on the bathroom towels... I dont know what to do. He smokes in his car but not the house. I wish he wouldn't smoke in the car, it looks like an ash tray but because I dont pay for it- 'I cant say anything.' Is it wrong of me to wish he would be a little cleaner? I am feeling used and its a huge turn off that he has become this messy.

I think he is depressed and needs to get help. I have tried being nice. I have tried giving him his space. I have invited him to workout with me... Nothing is working. He plays video games when he gets home from work or he works more in his office. We never get to 'connect' with eachother, we never really talk. I miss my best friend. I feel like I have been alone for over a year now.

He is VERY controlling of me. Everything is 'his' or mine. There is no, 'Ours'. He will go out and buy $500.00 worth of clothing for himself but I cannot get a haircut. I have actually started cutting my own hair. He says who I can hang out with and when. He doesn't like me having friends of any type really. I finally hung out with my friend whitney for the first time in 7 months. He actually told me he doesnt want me to get a job because he is afraid I will meet someone and leave him. He tracks my calls, texts and location from my phone. He has motion sensored- night vision cameras on the house that he says are for protection. There has been times I dont leave the house for 2 weeks at a time because I do my college online. I feel trapped. I am actually scared sometimes. What if I did leave and he hurts me? He told me what he did to his x wife when she left. . . He is an IT major and he sent naked pictures of his x wife to EVERYONE she works with. She was fired. He still enjoys harassing her. If he isnt going to be nice to me, I dont know what to do anymore.

I dont have parents and I was in the foster system growing up. I dont have siblings to help me out either. I have a small criminal record that I am getting 'expunged' right now. I dont do drugs, I actually can blood drug test clean. I literally cannot get a job. Walmart and mcdonalds wont hire me. The coffee shop 2 miles away will hire me for 2.80 an hour- no tips. I had a pocket knife that was to long in my purse- the police considered it "dangerous concealed weapon" and gave me a felony when I was 18 years old. I am just now getting this taken care of. Within 6 months I will be able to work, get a car, pay of debts and LIVE.

If this is real, then get the **** out.


If this is trolling, then **** off.

juliekaiser1988

Cut your loses. People like that will drain the life out of YOU. Let someone else be his psychologist. MOVE ON.

gr8tweets1

Wow I just read your post and my first thought is, you need help. To me, it appears that you have little value for yourself. Otherwise why would you choose to remain in a situation such as the one you have described. Each of us has had things in our lives that we can either dwell on or choose to rise above. Nobody and I mean NOBODY can make the choice for you. You need to look after you and what is best for you. Although you are obviously frustrated with you BF's ways you still choose to stay. Perhaps you should seek some professional counselling (him too) and work on you, your self esteem and issues (not trying to sound judgemental) then you will gain the strength to make changes in your life. You have had some tough breaks in life, as many of us have, you are already doing so well by attending college to better yourself.

Look after you and the rest will follow. Best of luck!

UsernameStillLoading

He actually told me he doesnt want me to get a job because he is afraid I will meet someone and leave him.

No duh

mrspinky85

Not even for the common reasons but someone who doesn't take care of themselves cannot possibly care enough for you. Personal hygiene is not only a good habit but a healthy one at that. Most colds are passed through people sneezing and not washing their hands and then touching door knobs and shaking hands. Where is this relationship headed? Marriage and a family would be doomed because you cannot raise kids and teach good habits that you yourself do not possess. I am leaning to think your boyfriend is depressed if this is something all of a sudden. But dating is the time when you are searching for your forever mate and if you would go as far as to complain about him on a forum in front of strangers this tells me that he is not the one for you. At 33, he is old enough to be responsible for his own actions. You are not married to this man so get out while you can and save yourself the time and pain. We often try to make the right mate out of a person who is not the one instead of finding the right person for us how they already are as a person. This man seems like he does not care for himself or even for you.

You deserve the best that is out that and he deserves to be held responsible. He is a man not your child. Children need to be taken care of but adults; they need to take care of themselves. Please for your sake, his sake and both yall future, end this before you get in any deeper.

JRaeZins

I think you are brave to put your situation out there and I think that you know the answer to your problems but just needed some validation. Well, I think that you got it! You know what you need to do and you need to do it fast. You can overcome your situation but only you can make that move. I hope that we all see a new post from you in a few weeks telling us about your new, improved situation! Good luck

ndj1979

I think you all are being trolled....

rjt1000

I think you all are being trolled....

I think OP has serious issues of her own and needs some serious help. Other threads she's posted are at best confused and at worst very distrubing. OP needs to pack up, move out and get some psychiatric help for herself.

MzHornedOne

Um, while reading this I just kept thinking you were going to say you're joking.

Get away from him asap....your relationship is toxic! I'm hoping the only reason you've stayed so long is because you can't find a job...which is terrible that you received a felony for that. Try to find help and get away from this man.

You're beautiful and don't deserve what you're going through!

Feel free to talk to me if you need to. Everyone needs friends and support
He is no longer that person sweeite. I'm sorry you're going through this.

Amy106Days

Get help, get help now. call any # posted in the responses.

Mustang_Susie

I think you all are being trolled....

Either way, she needs to get a life...

JSN66614

It's called ABUSE! Or can't you tell? It's emotional abuse and there are shelters that you can just pack up your **** and move to. Look them up in your area and yes they can come and pick you up!

chosengiver

This would NEVER work for me personally!

leantool

get the hell out of it before it's too late!!
job or no job it's like you are being treated as a slave in exchange of college sponsorship....
please forgive if i intruded on your personal space but a j**rk is a j**rk and no amount of understanding can mend him, i learnt it very hard way, so take your pick..

edited for spelling:blushing:

jenilla1

Worst.Guy.Ever? :sick:

leantool

I don't normally comment on message boards, but hun GET YOUR BUTT OUT NOW!!!!!!!! He is abusive--Mentally and emotionally. Please don't wait for him to get to physical! There are many places to get out and get help. No one should ever put up with being treated like that. You are worth far more!!!!

yes ^^ that
don't wait till this abuse has paralyzed you and scarred you in a way when you will start seeing every thing as your own shortcoming and feel you deserve that kind of *kitten*.it happens , it grows and people like this often give out depression as an excuse to destroy you. he will not have time for you but will blame you for every little slip up....been there it's hell...my heart goes to you..:flowerforyou:

mrsgeneric

** hug** hun this is abuse not physically ... Yet
Please get out your young! U dont need this!
Dont let this rub off on u u deserve more

You cant love someone if u cant love yourself!!!
I cant c hum loving you properly let alone himself!! Please save yourself while u can