How to flirt on MFP

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  • Mutant13
    Mutant13 Posts: 2,485 Member
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    It's all sorcery.

    Seriously. Picture the unholy love child if big bird, Admiral Ackbar and a drag queen. How YOU doin?
  • SquidandWhale
    SquidandWhale Posts: 259
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    1) Enter date/rate/hump/celebrity look alike thread

    2) date/rate/hump/angelie jolie everyone

    3) Watch the FR roll in and choose your prey

    I read date/rate as date rape

    Not sure if need glasses or freudian slip

    I did too! I thought, 'I knew there was a reason I didn't bother with those threads...'
  • homerjspartan
    homerjspartan Posts: 1,893 Member
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    Have a bunch of pictures of you with your daughters in your profile. That way your female friends think you are harmless and would never creep or stalk or show up on their front porch with a turkey baster and a jar of vap-o-rub.
  • WhoTheHellIsBen
    WhoTheHellIsBen Posts: 1,238 Member
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    Men, how about simply be a gentleman to the ladies? Truthfully, what ever happened to treating them with respect, dignity, and conducting yourself in a chivalrous manner? Just saying?

    I just found the guy in this thread who doesn't get laid. Just sayin

    Funny, coming from the guy who hasn't had a woman since his momma had him.
    Wicked funny joke guy. I'll try to remember it if I ever get stuck in 1995 again. When do we move to the 'your moma's so..." jokes?
  • n8dawg77
    n8dawg77 Posts: 216 Member
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    Send them creepy, misspelled compliments via personal message. Awkwardly being up sexually charged subjects, then send them a blurry picture of your sad, lonely genitals. In like Flynn.

    Okay so I've done that... now what?
  • myofibril
    myofibril Posts: 4,500 Member
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    It's all sorcery.

    Seriously. Picture the unholy love child if big bird, Admiral Ackbar and a drag queen. How YOU doin?

    Girl you must be crazy.

    Now listen if a big, fat man puts you in a sack in the middle of the night don't worry. I've told Santa I want you for Christmas...
  • Fit_NYC_
    Fit_NYC_ Posts: 1,389 Member
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    Wait... People flirt on MFP???
  • raychulj
    raychulj Posts: 458 Member
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    Just show them your boobs. Works everytime.
  • SpeSHul_SnoflEHk
    SpeSHul_SnoflEHk Posts: 6,256 Member
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    So I've been reading in another thread how a lot of people don't know how to flirt and can't spot when they're being flirted with, and I figured we needed some helpful pointers from the MFP community so no one is left out or remains clueless any longer.

    How does one go about flirting? How can they tell if someone is flirting with them? Share your tips & suggestions!

    tumblr_lq9gilC9Eu1qjqd6m.gif
  • Mutant13
    Mutant13 Posts: 2,485 Member
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    It's all sorcery.

    Seriously. Picture the unholy love child if big bird, Admiral Ackbar and a drag queen. How YOU doin?

    Girl you must be crazy.

    Now listen if a big, fat man puts you in a sack in the middle of the night don't worry. I've told Santa I want you for Christmas...

    Lel.

    No refund bro.


    86771E1A-D18B-4816-8204-71FAB0907E48-6731-00000821D35FA6BE_zpsf9896317.jpg
  • BeeElMarvin
    BeeElMarvin Posts: 2,086 Member
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    I hate to waste a good gif:

    i-need-caulk.gif
  • actingnurse1
    actingnurse1 Posts: 153 Member
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    That way your female friends think you are harmless and would never creep or stalk or show up on their front porch with a turkey baster and a jar of vap-o-rub.

    I prefer to stick with a saddle, can of motor oil, and a weed whacker.
  • throttle2009
    throttle2009 Posts: 138
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    Just show them your boobs. Works everytime.

    this thread just picked up again! ^^ That works!

    (refilling my popcorn now)
  • _CowgirlUp_
    _CowgirlUp_ Posts: 585 Member
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    Some of you are just downright rude and vulgar. Take a break!

    You can't tell me what to do.

    Sup girl... nice cans... want to go for a walk?

    ^^THIS is how it's done!
  • shellma00
    shellma00 Posts: 1,684 Member
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    Just show them your boobs. Works everytime.

    ^^^ This... because my boobs are about the only thing I have going for myself.... :laugh:

    Plus... what guy does not like boobs???
  • SpeSHul_SnoflEHk
    SpeSHul_SnoflEHk Posts: 6,256 Member
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    I just inbox them a pic of my junk and go from there. It's a great way to break the ice

    true story! This has happened to me.... sad sad lonely junk of someone who probably shouldn't be so proud to throw their junk out there to a complete stranger...

    It's like fishing, you throw your bait out there in the lake, and see which fish come by for a nibble. You probably won't see a lot of response, so you just sit back and drink beer. Eventually, you wil lcome across someone desperate enough to take the hook.
  • myofibril
    myofibril Posts: 4,500 Member
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    Lel.

    No refund bro.


    86771E1A-D18B-4816-8204-71FAB0907E48-6731-00000821D35FA6BE_zpsf9896317.jpg

    Daaaaamn. Hey, if you worked for UPS I'd gladly let you handle my package....

    (ps: in all seriousness, you are gorgeous lady. If you drink Singha beer as well you are probably perfect ;)
  • Lucia120382
    Lucia120382 Posts: 427
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    never believe it what is he saying, its just a bull**** and lie anyway.
  • WhoTheHellIsBen
    WhoTheHellIsBen Posts: 1,238 Member
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    Here's the surefire ways for guys. Girls love,

    Animal lovers who have cute puppies
    IMAG0259_zpsf82a99e4.jpg

    Well dressed men
    IMAG0098_zpsae45db04.jpg

    Men not afraid to get dirty
    429775_402108906521940_657978774_n_zps7fa21464.jpg

    and Men in Kilts
    IMAG0465_zps1267e683.jpg


    As you read this there are also women reading this whilst removing their panties without even realizing it.

    your welcome
  • BranMuffin86
    BranMuffin86 Posts: 314 Member
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    You only need to know 4 phrases:

    "9" (or 10)

    "ONS"

    "Hot"

    "How YOU Doin'?"

    Ha Ha Ha!! This is hilarious!!

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