Why the need to bring people down who are in shape?

Matt_Wild

To be perfectly honest, I don't care for the ultra-lean competition look, as an abstract group of people. I like the off-season look better. I don't think it's rude to say that. It's normal to have preferences.

Ding ding ding, we have a winner (now lets see if the others follow)

When I say attractive, I mean for a certain look. I don't mean it as an insult like how all of you are taking it. I mean that a certain look to me is not attractive.. period.

You've misquoted her taking her words out of context well done.

K_Serz

I think I replied to another thread of yours that was about Yo , and I said it then and I say it now, I don't find her attractive.

Does that mean I'm body shaming or a big jealous meanie? No.

It just means that to me, she's not attractive and it has nothing to do with how cut she is or anything like that.

Do I appreciate all the work that went into it? Heck yes, because I know how long and hard I worked to get where I am and am sure that Yo did the same(and plenty more!)

You are certainly entitled to your opinion, but to state on an open forum that you do not find someone attractive, is rather insulting. I am sure that you probably don't find me attractive either, and it would hurt my feelings if you felt the need to express that.

How is it insulting?

You are not going to be attracted to every person that you see.. that's human nature.

Is there anything wrong with that? No, because that's how you as a person were wired. You can't change how you were hard wired at birth to stop from offending other people.

Just for the record I feel ashamed when I walk into just about any Wal Mart in America. I dont find anyone attractive and feel as if I may get a disease if I stay in the store too long. There I said it in an open forum. I am a horrible horrible person.

dad106

To be perfectly honest, I don't care for the ultra-lean competition look, as an abstract group of people. I like the off-season look better. I don't think it's rude to say that. It's normal to have preferences.

Ding ding ding, we have a winner (now lets see if the others follow)

When I say attractive, I mean for a certain look. I don't mean it as an insult like how all of you are taking it. I mean that a certain look to me is not attractive.. period.

but what gives you the right to wander up to someone of that look and inform them that they aren't attractive to you? In what way is that polite, acceptable or in any way ok? Do you do that in real life? "Hey, lady - I know my friends think you're hot, but your a little chunky for me and you might want to work on that booty"

Have all the opinions you want. Express them in generalities "I don't like ripped chicks" but understand that it isn't ok to go to one and inform them that they aren't your thing, unless they EXPRESSLY asked YOU first.

See if you say I don't like ripped chicks, then we're body shaming.. which you can't do that either.

Aside from that, no one is ever going to win this argument because people can't see outside the of the box.

No matter what you say, someone is going to take it offensively.. no matter how nicely or politely you put it.

Alatariel75

To be perfectly honest, I don't care for the ultra-lean competition look, as an abstract group of people. I like the off-season look better. I don't think it's rude to say that. It's normal to have preferences.

Ding ding ding, we have a winner (now lets see if the others follow)

When I say attractive, I mean for a certain look. I don't mean it as an insult like how all of you are taking it. I mean that a certain look to me is not attractive.. period.

but what gives you the right to wander up to someone of that look and inform them that they aren't attractive to you? In what way is that polite, acceptable or in any way ok? Do you do that in real life? "Hey, lady - I know my friends think you're hot, but your a little chunky for me and you might want to work on that booty"

Have all the opinions you want. Express them in generalities "I don't like ripped chicks" but understand that it isn't ok to go to one and inform them that they aren't your thing, unless they EXPRESSLY asked YOU first.

See if you say I don't like ripped chicks, then we're body shaming.. which you can't do that either.

Aside from that, no one is ever going to win this argument because people can't see outside the of the box.

No matter what you say, someone is going to take it offensively.. no matter how nicely or politely you put it.

nice avoidance of pretty much my entire post

Matt_Wild

I dont think your gf is "unattractive''

she is VERY attractive, gorgeous

just not what I want to look like

AND when you post her pics on an INTERNET forum where millions of people can see it
expect some mixed opinions

You need to grow up a smidge

some people are NOT going to find you or her attractive, just like you dont find others attractive for your own reasons

My original post stated that we are not everyone's cup of tea. I realise that.

However there are lots of fat people on this forum who post their pictures. Is it right for me to tell them they aren't attractive to me and should lose more weight before daring to put photos on the internet?

oregonzoo

Why put anybody down?

I think there are times people put others down to make themselves feel better, I think there are times they put others down just because they plain old feel like it.

It's my personal opinion that the most mentally healthy people can see the beauty in most people.

Matt_Wild

In fact I just went thro the WHOLE first page of success stories. Went thro I think all the pages.

Only the one thread that I posted had any negative comments on it.

Why is this?

Admiral_Derp

Regardless of opinions about opinions (which I think is a circular, never-ending debate in internet world), Matt, I think you and Yo are awesome. Hard work and dedication of any kind are to be commended, admired, and aspired to, whether or not people want the same results. I'm still fat enough that my main goal is just losing weight and gaining strength, so I don't really have specific body aspirations at this point, but if I can develop the work ethic that you and so many other people on my FL have towards fitness then however I end up looking, I'm guessing I'll be happy with it. Good on ya bro! :drinker: :drinker:

Matt_Wild

.

Matt_Wild

Regardless of opinions about opinions (which I think is a circular, never-ending debate in internet world), Matt, I think you and Yo are awesome. Hard work and dedication of any kind are to be commended, admired, and aspired to, whether or not people want the same results. I'm still fat enough that my main goal is just losing weight and gaining strength, so I don't really have specific body aspirations at this point, but if I can develop the work ethic that you and so many other people on my FL have towards fitness then however I end up looking, I'm guessing I'll be happy with it. Good on ya bro! :drinker: :drinker:

This is just it fella - everyone has different goals, I don't expect or need anyone to have the same as our wants/goals/needs. Thank you for posting.

But the simple fact my thread is the ONLY one I could see with negative comments on it of ANY kind is very telling for people feeling the need to state their preference.

Mods - could I PLEASE have clarification of what is acceptable?

K_Serz

Mods - could I PLEASE have clarification of what is acceptable?

You are asking THEM? :laugh:

The same people that ban women in bikinis with 12% BF because its inappropriate and of a sexual nature, but if someone posts to success stories and has 40% BF and in her underwear thats acceptable? <- that right there should answer your questions.

MB_Positif

In fact I just went thro the WHOLE first page of success stories. Went thro I think all the pages.

Only the one thread that I posted had any negative comments on it.

Why is this?

I think regardless of the body type, it's the attitude that the poster projects. Humility goes a long way. I posted mine recently with a very positive response because I didn't try preaching to anyone about my way being better than another with the exception of saying that you need to make changes you can stick with. Just tell your story, tell your girlfriend's story. Keep it simple and I think the response will be better.

oregonzoo

You gotta realize it's just the nature of the beast and I'm not saying it's ok.

To me it's the same as the "men like meat leave the bones to dogs" or anything of that ilk. Some people I think have spent their whole life being singled out because of their weight. So they come up with stupid sayings to make themselves feel better. Or insult others body types, simply because it may be something they can't attain.
Same reason some on here say that us smaller folks shouldn't be on here, and smaller people make them feel bad.

Yo looks magnificent and I think to achieve that is magnificent. But ya gotta realize that's not everybodys goal. And when the come back with ugliness, it's most likley ugliness inside them and they don't see the hypocricy.

And NO I have no idea why it's acceptable. Because if it was the other way around strikes would be handed out like lollipops.

dad106

Regardless of opinions about opinions (which I think is a circular, never-ending debate in internet world), Matt, I think you and Yo are awesome. Hard work and dedication of any kind are to be commended, admired, and aspired to, whether or not people want the same results. I'm still fat enough that my main goal is just losing weight and gaining strength, so I don't really have specific body aspirations at this point, but if I can develop the work ethic that you and so many other people on my FL have towards fitness then however I end up looking, I'm guessing I'll be happy with it. Good on ya bro! :drinker: :drinker:

This is just it fella - everyone has different goals, I don't expect or need anyone to have the same as our wants/goals/needs. Thank you for posting.

But the simple fact my thread is the ONLY one I could see with negative comments on it of ANY kind is very telling for people feeling the need to state their preference.

Mods - could I PLEASE have clarification of what is acceptable?

It's not just you.

It's all threads that show muscular women. All have negative comments on them, and comments of "eww" or "not attractive"

You just post all the time, so it only seems like it's you. Go search other muscle threads and you'll see that it's not only you.

icimani

Why the need to bring people down who are in shape?

Sometimes I think it's because the people who are "in shape" are sanctimonious jerks about it, and the attitude comes off as "my way is best and your way is stupid". I'm not saying this is you (I honeslty don't know), but it happens a lot. I've found that people who have lost a lot of weight can be even more sanctimonious that people who have quit smoking.

This should be an internet forum rule (not just MFP):

Surely one should simply bypass a thread/comment or if you feel the need simply say "not to my taste thank you, but well done on meeting your goals" or similar? Just because my goals are different to yours, does not mean you should disrespect me, just like I will not disrespect yours.

BTW - I checked out your post of Yo's progress. I think she looks great!

Matt_Wild

I think regardless of the body type, it's the attitude that the poster projects. Humility goes a long way. I posted mine recently with a very positive response because I didn't try preaching to anyone about my way being better than another with the exception of saying that you need to make changes you can stick with. Just tell your story, tell your girlfriend's story. Keep it simple and I think the response will be better.

Please explain where I preached?

If you notice on this thread and various others people have actually remarked how calmly me and Yo respond to people and their insults.

On my thread I simply said this is her results after training with me for 4.5 months in my training style and now I have an attitude?

Yours didn't get any negative comments because for reasons I've already described.

It's all threads that show muscular women. All have negative comments on them, and comments of "eww" or "not attractive"

You just post all the time, so it only seems like it's you. Go search other muscle threads and you'll see that it's not only you.

So its OK to insult muscular women but not any other type, is that what you are saying?

Wow. Just wow.

Matt_Wild

Why the need to bring people down who are in shape?

Sometimes I think it's because the people who are "in shape" are sanctimonious jerks about it, and the attitude comes off as "my way is best and your way is stupid". I'm not saying this is you (I honeslty don't know), but it happens a lot. I've found that people who have lost a lot of weight can be even more sanctimonious that people who have quit smoking.

This should be an internet forum rule (not just MFP):

Surely one should simply bypass a thread/comment or if you feel the need simply say "not to my taste thank you, but well done on meeting your goals" or similar? Just because my goals are different to yours, does not mean you should disrespect me, just like I will not disrespect yours.

BTW - I checked out your post of Yo's progress. I think she looks great!

First of all - thank you!

And yes, often you'll find people in shape are sanctimonious jerks as you say. Same with smokers. Defo agree there.

And indeed fully agree if you don't like what you see, pass on and don't post rather than insult. Why people feel the need on a success thread is beyond me.

Matt_Wild

You gotta realize it's just the nature of the beast and I'm not saying it's ok.

To me it's the same as the "men like meat leave the bones to dogs" or anything of that ilk. Some people I think have spent their whole life being singled out because of their weight. So they come up with stupid sayings to make themselves feel better. Or insult others body types, simply because it may be something they can't attain.
Same reason some on here say that us smaller folks shouldn't be on here, and smaller people make them feel bad.

Yo looks magnificent and I think to achieve that is magnificent. But ya gotta realize that's not everybodys goal. And when the come back with ugliness, it's most likley ugliness inside them and they don't see the hypocricy.

And NO I have no idea why it's acceptable. Because if it was the other way around strikes would be handed out like lollipops.

Fully agree with you here in every way ))