Stabbing yourself in the eye?

Options
1356789

Replies

  • Trechechus
    Trechechus Posts: 2,819 Member
    Options
    It's much cooler to stab yourself in the eye with a spork.
  • Iron_Feline
    Iron_Feline Posts: 10,750 Member
    Options
    When I was a kid a little boy threw a stick in my eye. I had to wear an eye patch for 2 weeks. Does this help you at all??

    How did it feel and would you recommend it?

    Well, it hurt. But I got to look like a pirate for 2 weeks, so in the end it was worth it. I would recommend it if you like looking awesome.

    See this is what I wanted - all you haters need to leave this thread.

    Like my Grandma used to say - Let Your Haters Be Your Motivators!

    Oh yeah - I got that on a t-shirt :happy:

    You'll be hearing from my Grandmas attorney.

    Wow just as I was starting to like you. I'm putting you on ignore.
  • Iron_Feline
    Iron_Feline Posts: 10,750 Member
    Options
    Just make sure it's a salad fork--the kind with the special tine for spearing lettuce. For maximal effect and all.

    Thanks for the tip

    This is what I was looking for.
  • Iron_Feline
    Iron_Feline Posts: 10,750 Member
    Options
    I'm thinking about stabbing myself in the eye with a fork. Has anyone tried this?

    I don't want options I only want to hear from people with actual experience in this.
    If you have tried this and can give me a factual answer then that's ok, I'll accept answers from people that have stabbed themselves in the eye using other items, but I don't want just options.

    Thanks in advance.

    I took a fork to both eyes. Best decision of my life. Now I have so many little things that bring me joy. My hearing is sharper than ever, so I get to hear every little gasp of horror the issues forth out of peoples mouths when they look at me. And Just today I had a hearty laugh when Microsoft SAM read me the following:

    "I'm thinking about stabbing myself in the eye with a fork. Has anyone tried this?

    I don't want options I only want to hear from people with actual experience in this.
    If you have tried this and can give me a factual answer then that's ok, I'll accept answers from people that have stabbed themselves in the eye using other items, but I don't want just options."

    WOW what a great answer, I'd heard it does great things for your hearing but wasn't sure till your story. Thanks :flowerforyou:

    All of my other senses have improved. I even developed E.S.P, the ability to hover off the ground for a full second at a time (people tell me it looks like jumping, but they are fools) AND a few days after stabbing myself in the eyes (You must use a fork, don't listen to these other chumps) I can bend and move like Voldo from Soul Calibur 3. Highly effective when scaring small children.

    Wow I hope I get such good results.
  • SRH7
    SRH7 Posts: 2,037 Member
    Options
    Depends on a number of things:

    1. Does it fit with your macros?
    2. Are you fork-intolerant?
    3. What is the fork made of? Natural products?
    4. Is it unpasturised and handcrafted by artisans living in shacks in the Rockies or factory-made?
    5. Are you really committed - if so you need to be prepared to stab yourself in the other eye if you don't get results (I'd give it three days; if the scale doesn't shift then definitely do the other eye too)
    6. Has it been recommended by a 'nutritionist'?
    7. Has it been recommended by a 'holistic therapist'?

    If you see no results (apart from blindness) after three days then I'm sorry but you just aren't stabbing hard enough and you should shuffle off in embarrassment and find new friends.

    wow great questions - I can see you've really put some thought into this thanks. And thanks for the advice about the results I should be getting. :flowerforyou:

    Oooooooh, I'll send you a friend invite as I can tell we are going to get along! :smile:

    We should have a chat about cleansing and detoxing some time. Whenever the stabby method fails for me I always have back-up plans to punish myself that little bit more!
  • Iron_Feline
    Iron_Feline Posts: 10,750 Member
    Options
    It's much cooler to stab yourself in the eye with a spork.

    I heard sporks were really bad for you and full of empty prongs.
  • stephdeeable
    stephdeeable Posts: 1,407 Member
    Options
    When I was a kid a little boy threw a stick in my eye. I had to wear an eye patch for 2 weeks. Does this help you at all??

    How did it feel and would you recommend it?

    Well, it hurt. But I got to look like a pirate for 2 weeks, so in the end it was worth it. I would recommend it if you like looking awesome.

    See this is what I wanted - all you haters need to leave this thread.

    Like my Grandma used to say - Let Your Haters Be Your Motivators!

    Oh yeah - I got that on a t-shirt :happy:

    You'll be hearing from my Grandmas attorney.

    Wow just as I was starting to like you. I'm putting you on ignore.

    Too late, I already put you and your entire cliche on ignore.
  • a_certain_shade_of_green
    a_certain_shade_of_green Posts: 134 Member
    Options
    a spork would be better. stab-and-gouge for full effect, with a twist on the way out
  • SRH7
    SRH7 Posts: 2,037 Member
    Options
    It's much cooler to stab yourself in the eye with a spork.

    Reported for going off topic - we're talking about forks, NOT SPORKS!!!!!!
  • Iron_Feline
    Iron_Feline Posts: 10,750 Member
    Options
    When I was a kid a little boy threw a stick in my eye. I had to wear an eye patch for 2 weeks. Does this help you at all??

    How did it feel and would you recommend it?

    Well, it hurt. But I got to look like a pirate for 2 weeks, so in the end it was worth it. I would recommend it if you like looking awesome.

    See this is what I wanted - all you haters need to leave this thread.

    Like my Grandma used to say - Let Your Haters Be Your Motivators!

    Oh yeah - I got that on a t-shirt :happy:

    You'll be hearing from my Grandmas attorney.

    Wow just as I was starting to like you. I'm putting you on ignore.

    Too late, I already put you and your entire cliche on ignore.

    Then how did you see that post, urg I hate bullies everyone here is so mean.
  • SRH7
    SRH7 Posts: 2,037 Member
    Options
    It's much cooler to stab yourself in the eye with a spork.

    I heard sporks were really bad for you and full of empty prongs.

    :flowerforyou:
  • Trechechus
    Trechechus Posts: 2,819 Member
    Options
    It's much cooler to stab yourself in the eye with a spork.

    I heard sporks were really bad for you and full of empty prongs.

    Well, you should use a spork if you plan to do only cardio. A fork will make your eye skinny fat.
  • Iron_Feline
    Iron_Feline Posts: 10,750 Member
    Options
    Depends on a number of things:

    1. Does it fit with your macros?
    2. Are you fork-intolerant?
    3. What is the fork made of? Natural products?
    4. Is it unpasturised and handcrafted by artisans living in shacks in the Rockies or factory-made?
    5. Are you really committed - if so you need to be prepared to stab yourself in the other eye if you don't get results (I'd give it three days; if the scale doesn't shift then definitely do the other eye too)
    6. Has it been recommended by a 'nutritionist'?
    7. Has it been recommended by a 'holistic therapist'?

    If you see no results (apart from blindness) after three days then I'm sorry but you just aren't stabbing hard enough and you should shuffle off in embarrassment and find new friends.

    wow great questions - I can see you've really put some thought into this thanks. And thanks for the advice about the results I should be getting. :flowerforyou:

    Oooooooh, I'll send you a friend invite as I can tell we are going to get along! :smile:

    We should have a chat about cleansing and detoxing some time. Whenever the stabby method fails for me I always have back-up plans to punish myself that little bit more!

    Yeah we should talk more in private where the haters won't derail our plans.
  • SRH7
    SRH7 Posts: 2,037 Member
    Options
    Just make sure it's a salad fork--the kind with the special tine for spearing lettuce. For maximal effect and all.

    Oooh, now that is genuinely good advice. And, of course, anything to do with salad has negative calories so it's win-win all round.
  • Iron_Feline
    Iron_Feline Posts: 10,750 Member
    Options
    a spork would be better. stab-and-gouge for full effect, with a twist on the way out

    you clearly don't know what your talking about - this is about forks. Why come on here if you're going to go off topic.
  • AllTehBeers
    AllTehBeers Posts: 5,030 Member
    Options
    I read a study once where it said that stabbing yourself in the eye with a fork makes no sense at all, becaus the cavemen didn't have forks. You need to use a stick from a tree. But it has to be from a tree that grows in the land where your ancestors are from. And don't forget to log it.

    This absolutely. Natural is the only way to go or else you are not going to get the best results. Putting artificial stuff like a metal for in your eye is just wrong.
  • Iron_Feline
    Iron_Feline Posts: 10,750 Member
    Options
    It's much cooler to stab yourself in the eye with a spork.

    I heard sporks were really bad for you and full of empty prongs.

    Well, you should use a spork if you plan to do only cardio. A fork will make your eye skinny fat.

    I heard that was just an internet hoax, like eating in moderation.
  • Iron_Feline
    Iron_Feline Posts: 10,750 Member
    Options
    Just make sure it's a salad fork--the kind with the special tine for spearing lettuce. For maximal effect and all.

    Oooh, now that is genuinely good advice. And, of course, anything to do with salad has negative calories so it's win-win all round.

    QFW
  • Iron_Feline
    Iron_Feline Posts: 10,750 Member
    Options
    I read a study once where it said that stabbing yourself in the eye with a fork makes no sense at all, becaus the cavemen didn't have forks. You need to use a stick from a tree. But it has to be from a tree that grows in the land where your ancestors are from. And don't forget to log it.

    This absolutely. Natural is the only way to go or else you are not going to get the best results. Putting artificial stuff like a metal for in your eye is just wrong.

    Should it be a fork made from wood?
  • JanaCanada
    JanaCanada Posts: 917 Member
    Options
    Sticks and stones may break your bones...but a fork just leaves you butthurt.
    :laugh:

Categories