Online Dating, Yay or Nay

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  • eric_sg61
    eric_sg61 Posts: 2,925 Member
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    Soooooooooooo I took advice and made an account on POF.... Yeah... This whole online dating this is fricking overwhelming. It's been like.... 10 minutes and I have 10 messages!!! Ahhh!!!! Stressing me out man!!!
    Dudes be horny nowadays
  • ScatteredThoughts
    ScatteredThoughts Posts: 3,562 Member
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    Soooooooooooo I took advice and made an account on POF.... Yeah... This whole online dating this is fricking overwhelming. It's been like.... 10 minutes and I have 10 messages!!! Ahhh!!!! Stressing me out man!!!
    Dudes be horny nowadays

    I don't think this is a recent phenomenon. :)
  • UrbanLotus
    UrbanLotus Posts: 1,163 Member
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    Soooooooooooo I took advice and made an account on POF.... Yeah... This whole online dating this is fricking overwhelming. It's been like.... 10 minutes and I have 10 messages!!! Ahhh!!!! Stressing me out man!!!

    You're fresh meat lol. You will get a TON of messages initially, it will taper off. Don't respond to everyone!

    Why not? Is this some sort of girl code? Is there a criteria you use of who is worthy to ignore and who isn't lol?

    Just curious. In my profile, I had put specifically some disqualifiers...things that would make us 'not fit'. There wasn't many by the way...only two, but if they ignored them and messaged me anyhow (other than polite conversation, which I always reply to)...that is the only reason I didn't reply.

    Other than that...yes, I responded to everyone...even those I wasn't interested in. Common courtesy and all.

    Its not girl code, its just common sense lol. Of course there are criteria - its a dating site, why would you respond to someone who you have no interest in dating? Why would I respond to the 20 messages a day that just say "hi" or "pretty" - or why would I respond to the ones that say they want to *kitten* me (or the best one recently - said "I want to cum on that pretty smile")? Come on now!

    As far as common courtesy - women get like 100 messages a day in the beginning, I have a job, I don't have time to be courteous to all those people, especialy the ones who just cut and paste messages. Moreover, the few times that men have taken the time to write nice thoughtful messages and I wasn't interested, I have written them back nicely and let them know, but 9 times out of 10 the response is something like - but why? come on give me a chance, let me send you some more pics, I can change. Or the always appreciated - well fine I didn't want to talk to you anyway! If men could graciously accept a nice "rejection," I might write back to those I wasn't interested in - but that isn't the case, so I write back to those I'm interested in, and thats it.
  • trojanbb
    trojanbb Posts: 1,297 Member
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    Online dating for men: Send out 10,000 letters. Get one response.

    Online dating for women: Receive 10,000 letters. Respond to only hottest guys.

    This exactly. There is no comparison between online dating for men and online dating for women. If you are a man, odds are you are going to have MUCH better luck getting a more desirable partner in a bar or grocery store or anywhere really than a dating website. You can shoot above your "league" or level or w/e in those places...on dating websites, you definitely cannot unless you are incredibly persistent and have hundreds of hours to kill.
  • UrbanLotus
    UrbanLotus Posts: 1,163 Member
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    No luck with online dating yet... most people vanish when they find out I'm in a wheelchair. As in, conversation is going well, everything seems cool, then I casually mention this, and... no more responses. Yikes. And those who aren't scared by it don't end up being a match in the long term.

    Still waiting for the one...

    So sorry to hear that - maybe it would be better to mention it in your profile? That way people know up front, and if they write to you, you already know they are ok with it. It sucks that they just vanish like that though :(
  • SmartAlec03211988
    SmartAlec03211988 Posts: 1,896 Member
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    No luck with online dating yet... most people vanish when they find out I'm in a wheelchair. As in, conversation is going well, everything seems cool, then I casually mention this, and... no more responses. Yikes. And those who aren't scared by it don't end up being a match in the long term.

    Still waiting for the one...

    Ouch, yep that's a fail when people drop off the face of the earth because of the minor details. I've met so many folks from all sorts of backgrounds, personal issues, health and physical disabilities, but that should never make them that less of an attraction or less of a person to know, converse with, etc.

    BTW, what's caused you to be in a wheelchair if you don't mind me asking. I hope you have a great bunch of love ones and unconditional support.
    I was born with Spina Bifida. The way I was raised I was not consciously aware of being handicapped because I was not treated in such a way, or told I couldn't do something because of it - to this day I rarely, if ever, think about it and just roll (no pun intended) with it.

    So when I'm writing these online dating profiles, since my handicap doesn't define me, and doesn't effect my life in any major way, I don't really feel it's necessary to delve so deep into it, thinking that people would not be so weird about it, since I myself don't make it a big deal. I don't view my wheelchair as a tool - to me it is a physical part of me, so I don't think about it much.

    I'm married but I can give you my point of view if i was single and met a date-worthy guy in a wheelchair. This is coming from someone who doesn't know any men in wheelchairs and who would be totally neurotic about offending. Stream of consciousness would go something like this: OMG he's cute. I wonder why he's in there. I like to dance. Does he like to dance. How does that work. How does he slow dance. I wonder if IT works. My house has steps. My house has multi levels. My bed is really high. What if i went to kiss him and he wasn't interested.
    And then I would go on and on with my internal conversation until i talked myself out of meeting you because I lacked the confidence to venture into unknown territory. So you wouldn't think about it but SHE might because there are already a ton of dating unknowns and that adds to it. I hope I didnt butcher that thought too badly and you understand what I mean.
    You know, I've thought of this and that softens the blow a little (fear of the unknown and all that), but then again I also think perhaps I dodged something that wouldn't work out in the long run anyways, because (to me) if you can't muster up the courage(?) to ask a few questions to ease your curiosity or concerns... that may speak of a character flaw that I see being a problem in the future.

    Oddly enough, I've had four messages on one of my profiles in the last day or so... usually that's how many I get in a given year. How strange. :P
  • SmartAlec03211988
    SmartAlec03211988 Posts: 1,896 Member
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    No luck with online dating yet... most people vanish when they find out I'm in a wheelchair. As in, conversation is going well, everything seems cool, then I casually mention this, and... no more responses. Yikes. And those who aren't scared by it don't end up being a match in the long term.

    Still waiting for the one...

    So sorry to hear that - maybe it would be better to mention it in your profile? That way people know up front, and if they write to you, you already know they are ok with it. It sucks that they just vanish like that though :(
    I did, and they STILL act surprised (like they didn't read my profile, just sent off a message without reading about me first). WHAT THE HECK??? LOL.
  • Nutella91
    Nutella91 Posts: 624 Member
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    i say why not. internet is powerful.i fell in love with a guy over facebook
  • Rado_SVK
    Rado_SVK Posts: 442 Member
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    Im on this dating site for like 7 months now..I always say,If the site is decent,scam and bull**** free..if there is anything bad its the ppl..thats what I say to ppl telling me dating sites are bad..anyways after these 7 months I have yet to meet a girl I would click with..If I would highlight one negative thing,it would be women being wayyy to picky...
  • rickyll
    rickyll Posts: 188 Member
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    I would say online dating is alright. Of course, meet up with the person as soon as you're interested enough.
    The internet-dating world can bring out the best in someone...talking about yourself over the internet is great and people will like you but that's only a fraction of who you are, and of who they are. When you meet in person you'll be able to really know them as an individual not just as some text on a screen.. their reactions, their facial expressions, their mannerisms and body language...all those things are so important.
  • Trueray
    Trueray Posts: 1,189 Member
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    IDK! Mixed feelings about it.
  • aprilschadwick
    aprilschadwick Posts: 21
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    I met my husband on match.com We dated for 7 years and we have been married for almost 3 years. We have been together for a total of 10 years and we have a wonderful 4 year old son. Yeah I went through a lot of jerks before I met my husband so I would so go for it.
  • etoiles_argentees
    etoiles_argentees Posts: 2,827 Member
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    I would say online dating is alright. Of course, meet up with the person as soon as you're interested enough.
    The internet-dating world can bring out the best in someone...talking about yourself over the internet is great and people will like you but that's only a fraction of who you are, and of who they are. When you meet in person you'll be able to really know them as an individual not just as some text on a screen.. their reactions, their facial expressions, their mannerisms and body language...all those things are so important.

    Nice answer. But don't you get enough in person? In real life?
  • JNick77
    JNick77 Posts: 3,783 Member
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    I would say online dating is alright. Of course, meet up with the person as soon as you're interested enough.
    The internet-dating world can bring out the best in someone...talking about yourself over the internet is great and people will like you but that's only a fraction of who you are, and of who they are. When you meet in person you'll be able to really know them as an individual not just as some text on a screen.. their reactions, their facial expressions, their mannerisms and body language...all those things are so important.

    I would agree with that. Doing the on-line thing just cuts through some of the bull****, so when you get to the point where you meet in real-life to get the human interaction you two at least have some commonality, understanding of what each other are looking for, and there's less of a chance that you're wasting your time.
  • 1223345
    1223345 Posts: 1,386 Member
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    NAY! If you go ahead with it I would proceed with caution.
  • ArmandoG28
    ArmandoG28 Posts: 283 Member
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    NAY !
  • VeinsAndBones
    VeinsAndBones Posts: 550 Member
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    Sometimes the most interesting people I meet are on the internet... in fact I wouldn't have met my best friend if not for reddit!
  • MaraDiaz
    MaraDiaz Posts: 4,604 Member
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    I say Yay.......as long as my wife doesn't find out!

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    for the record: I'm joking! :P

    I say nay at this point because too many married men aren't joking!

    Not that it's always easy to keep those guys away even in person, but there seem to be way more of them online. Sorry guys, I don't poach on another woman's territory.
  • AuroraBear84
    AuroraBear84 Posts: 35 Member
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    Yay! I met my husband on eHarmony. Who knows if we would have ever met without it! Not only were we over 2 hours apart, neither of us were very social. I am all for using any and every possible way to find your soul mate <3
  • MidwestAngel
    MidwestAngel Posts: 1,897 Member
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    Blah

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