Online Dating, Yay or Nay

_Pseudonymous_

So I recently received some very sound advice from a friend of mine. They suggested that I should start looking at dating NOW during this process that way I can weed out the ones who like me for me and not for my being skinny when I reach my goal. The only problem with this is how the fracking heck do you meet people? I mean seriously? I work, and I go work out with a friend but I don't go out. I refuse to date anyone at my job because... well... if you were at my job you would understand. So that leaves what? Online dating? Where would I go outside of online dating?

Needless to say I am currently accepting advice from the world of MFP... please rain your wisdom upon me!!!

mrphil86

I've seen it work for a lot of my friends. Two of my buddies got married over online dating.

I could never do it though. I have no idea why either.

AllTehBeers

I met my ex of 6 years, who I'm still friends with, and my current SO of 2 years online.

I think the key is to find someone who you can be honest with and you can expect of them. I probably talked to hundreds of people before finding one that works for me.

I also met mine when I was 300 pounds and didn't even bat an eyelash. That's one way I knew I struck it rich.

pawnstarNate

I say Yay.......as long as my wife doesn't find out!



for the record: I'm joking! :P

sillygoosie

Online dating isn't so bad if you go in with the right attitude and some fairly low expectations. I have yet to meet a man on online that wasn't a decent guy. It takes a lot of patience and a willingness to take a chance. I would recommend OKC over Plenty of Fish. People seem to have slightly higher standards on OKC.

Be completely honest in your profile.

Be safe and use you common sense and your gut instincts about people. Always meet in a public place, use your google search, and I always check their ID on a first date. I manage to do it in a light hearted, joking manner that doesn't offend them. Always tell someone where you are going and who you will be with.

I have to say that I have recently met quite an amazing guy on OKC and I am very optimistic about our future.

ETA: OP, you are lovely and shouldn't have any problem finding someone who likes you just the way you are right now.

MrsBobaFett

Each to their own, I know people who have married after meeting online but it's something I could never do..

Cr01502

I don't get what's so bad about a guy that finds you attractive at your goal weight.

You think just because he dates you when your chubby that makes him more genuine?

AllTehBeers

Online dating isn't so bad if you go in with the right attitude and some fairly low expectations. I have yet to meet a man on online that wasn't a decent guy. It takes a lot of patience and a willingness to take a chance. I would recommend OKC over Plenty of Fish. People seem to have slightly higher standards on OKC.

Be completely honest in your profile.

Be safe and use you common sense and your gut instincts about people. Always meet in a public place, use your google search, and I always check their ID on a first date. I manage to do it in a light hearted, joking manner that doesn't offend them. Always tell someone where you are going and who you will be with.

I have to say that I have recently met quite an amazing guy on OKC and I am very optimistic about our future.

This. I like using Skype or similar before meeting in real life. You can sometimes peep out crazy stuff in someones house lol. Also, you see its actually the same guy the picture is and not be forced to sit through lunch.

pastryari

I don't get what's so bad about a guy that finds you attractive at your goal weight.

You think just because he dates you when your chubby that makes him more genuine?

Yeah, I've never understood this mindset. You're attracted to who you're attracted to. Doesn't make you any less of a "genuine" or "nice" guy/girl because of it.

drchimpanzee

I don't get what's so bad about a guy that finds you attractive at your goal weight.

You think just because he dates you when your chubby that makes him more genuine?

Also, on the flip side you may meet a man who is only going out with you because your chubby. That's definately a thing.

1ConcreteGirl

Go to a bar and get sloshed.

Someone will leave with you, no matter your weight.

Timshel_

Online dating for guys means cyberz! Watch out when they say they want to just see you and talk to you on cam!

_noob_

my wife and I met off a message board...

AllTehBeers

I don't get what's so bad about a guy that finds you attractive at your goal weight.

You think just because he dates you when your chubby that makes him more genuine?

Yeah, I've never understood this mindset. You're attracted to who you're attracted to. Doesn't make you any less of a "genuine" or "nice" guy/girl because of it.

This too. If you're dating a jerk, they're a jerk. No matter what you look like.

odusgolp

Go to a bar and get sloshed.

Someone will leave with you, no matter your weight.

She has a point.

And you're already on MFP... why pay for Match.com?

Rum_Runner

I think online dating can work. But I'd be careful about meeting in person the fist few times as there are a lot of shaddy people. Talk for a long while, then meet in public for a few times then..... see where it goes from there!

iAMsmiling

Go to a bar and get sloshed.

Someone will leave with you, no matter your weight.

Works for girls to be sure.
On the other hand, I'm pretty sure I was taken home once because I was the last guy in the place that was still upright.

cuterbee

I met my husband sort of through on-line dating.

We were both on the same site, but I'd made a lot of female friends, one of whom had a party and invited people she liked on the dating site...and there he was -- for him it was love at first sight, but it took me a while longer (I'd been single a loooong time at that point).

I did quite a bit of online dating and met some nice men and some not-so-nice men. If you decide to go this route, make your first date for coffee or tea and go dutch. If the guy doesn't suit your fancy, then you can shut it down right there; neither of you is really out much $$ and you can get a pretty good idea about him. If things are going well, you can go out to dinner from there, or go for a walk in the park OR make a future date to do something. You can even have a couple of your friends at another table who can help scope him out (I never did this, but it would have been useful a couple of times).

dubird

My advice: Do some research about the service you want to try. eharmony and match.com are both fairly good ones, to my knowledge. I met my husband on eharmony, though I had almost given up searching since no one else was interested in the first three months I was on there. >< Still, the fact that the questoniare is fairly extensive and communiction is under your control (meaning, the other person can only communicate through eharmony unless you allow them otherwise) were pluses for me. Granted, not everyone is going to be completely honest on those, but people are more likely to answer questions that way honestly than in person because when you fill it out, you're only interacting with the compter, not someone on the other side. *shrugs* I know other people that have met and fallen in love over chat rooms, too, so meeting people online does work for a lot of people. As long as you take reasonable precautions, I see nothing wrong with it. ^_^

iAMsmiling

As far as online dating....

Before dating sites there was AOL. Yes. AOL.

Met my wife in a chat room 19 years ago. It ain't been all sunshine and roses, but we're still together and still in love.

kadins_momma07

I married the man I met online We weren't on a dating website though, we were just teenagers in a yahoo chat room lol. He was from Illinois and I'm from Georgia. We instantly hit it off and talked every single day through web cam, on the phone and letters. I was only about 16 at the time, but after months of talking to this guy non-stop my mom actually let him come visit us for a week in August 2004, he ended up moving in with us that December and we have been together ever since! We're now married with a son and another son on the way! Online/ long distance relationships CAN work if you put in the work and trust! I don't really recommend going into a chat room now days though, there are just too many creepos! But maybe a legit dating website would work. Whatever you choose, good luck!

_Pseudonymous_

Go to a bar and get sloshed.

Someone will leave with you, no matter your weight.

She has a point.

And you're already on MFP... why pay for Match.com?

Wait... I thought that MFP was a dating website? Why else would everyone be posting pictures hot enough to make you touch yourself?

kadins_momma07

iAMsmiling,

Ha, similar to my story I just posted! My husband and I met on yahoo, we talked on AOL too though! Man, I haven't been on there in YEARS!!

_Pseudonymous_

I don't get what's so bad about a guy that finds you attractive at your goal weight.

You think just because he dates you when your chubby that makes him more genuine?

I dated when i was thinner and I have dated at the weight I am now. There have been nice guys and not so nice guys.

I really don't think my weight will make a difference but I suppose part of it is that they would like me whether I am big or small. That it wouldn't matter.

You know... that mushy bs stuff.

drchimpanzee

Online dating for men: Send out 10,000 letters. Get one response.

Online dating for women: Receive 10,000 letters. Respond to only hottest guys.

Brownsbacker4evr

Im all for it. After all it's the only way I'll sure as **** ever meet anyone new.

lelly1981

i say yes to trying online dating hun. i met my parnet on plenty of fish and we've been together just over 3yrs. as some one else said b4 just be honest and be safe. there can be weirdos out there so please always meet in a public place, let some one know where you are going and keep your wits about you. just because some one says they're one thing doesn't mean they are.

last thing i'd say is dont let other peoples opinion put you off. i know a few people who meet online and have been together for yrs who still lie about where they meet to new people as they see it as there must be something wrong with them to have HAD TO of met online. there is nothing wrong with online dating. Just think of it as interviewing people for the job of being your partner, after all it is a really important job.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Brownsbacker4evr

Online dating for men: Send out 10,000 letters. Get one response.

Online dating for women: Receive 10,000 letters. Respond to only hottest guys.

10000000000000% Truth...and the ones that do respond want lengthy elaborate messages, you give em that...and their response...."Hi"

cwolfman13

If I were in the market these days, I'd definitely say yay. It's 2013...the internet and on-line dating is just another tool. I don't see how it would be any different than hitting the bars and clubs looking for a SO or even just someone to bang...probably more efficient actually to do it on-line.

mrphil86

Online dating for men: Send out 10,000 letters. Get one response.

Online dating for women: Receive 10,000 letters. Respond to only hottest guys.

Lol, that's the sad reality.

1Hunie

Online dating for men: Send out 10,000 letters. Get one response.

Online dating for women: Receive 10,000 letters. Respond to only hottest guys.

This is so close to truth :laugh:
I see no problem with online dating, especially if your life is busy. Work, school, friends, family. Who has time to go out and meet people all the time?