Online Dating, Yay or Nay

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_Pseudonymous_
_Pseudonymous_ Posts: 1,671 Member
in Chit-Chat
So I recently received some very sound advice from a friend of mine. They suggested that I should start looking at dating NOW during this process that way I can weed out the ones who like me for me and not for my being skinny when I reach my goal. The only problem with this is how the fracking heck do you meet people? I mean seriously? I work, and I go work out with a friend but I don't go out. I refuse to date anyone at my job because... well... if you were at my job you would understand. So that leaves what? Online dating? Where would I go outside of online dating?

Needless to say I am currently accepting advice from the world of MFP... please rain your wisdom upon me!!!
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Replies

  • mrphil86
    mrphil86 Posts: 2,382 Member
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    I've seen it work for a lot of my friends. Two of my buddies got married over online dating.

    I could never do it though. I have no idea why either.
  • AllTehBeers
    AllTehBeers Posts: 5,030 Member
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    I met my ex of 6 years, who I'm still friends with, and my current SO of 2 years online.

    I think the key is to find someone who you can be honest with and you can expect of them. I probably talked to hundreds of people before finding one that works for me.

    I also met mine when I was 300 pounds and didn't even bat an eyelash. That's one way I knew I struck it rich.
  • pawnstarNate
    pawnstarNate Posts: 1,728 Member
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    I say Yay.......as long as my wife doesn't find out!

    tumblr_lydfx4Zqjd1r4bg1q.gif

    for the record: I'm joking! :P
  • sillygoosie
    sillygoosie Posts: 1,109 Member
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    Online dating isn't so bad if you go in with the right attitude and some fairly low expectations. I have yet to meet a man on online that wasn't a decent guy. It takes a lot of patience and a willingness to take a chance. I would recommend OKC over Plenty of Fish. People seem to have slightly higher standards on OKC.

    Be completely honest in your profile.

    Be safe and use you common sense and your gut instincts about people. Always meet in a public place, use your google search, and I always check their ID on a first date. I manage to do it in a light hearted, joking manner that doesn't offend them. Always tell someone where you are going and who you will be with.

    I have to say that I have recently met quite an amazing guy on OKC and I am very optimistic about our future.

    ETA: OP, you are lovely and shouldn't have any problem finding someone who likes you just the way you are right now.
  • MrsBobaFett
    MrsBobaFett Posts: 802 Member
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    Each to their own, I know people who have married after meeting online but it's something I could never do..
  • Cr01502
    Cr01502 Posts: 3,614 Member
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    I don't get what's so bad about a guy that finds you attractive at your goal weight.

    You think just because he dates you when your chubby that makes him more genuine?
  • AllTehBeers
    AllTehBeers Posts: 5,030 Member
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    Online dating isn't so bad if you go in with the right attitude and some fairly low expectations. I have yet to meet a man on online that wasn't a decent guy. It takes a lot of patience and a willingness to take a chance. I would recommend OKC over Plenty of Fish. People seem to have slightly higher standards on OKC.

    Be completely honest in your profile.

    Be safe and use you common sense and your gut instincts about people. Always meet in a public place, use your google search, and I always check their ID on a first date. I manage to do it in a light hearted, joking manner that doesn't offend them. Always tell someone where you are going and who you will be with.

    I have to say that I have recently met quite an amazing guy on OKC and I am very optimistic about our future.

    This. I like using Skype or similar before meeting in real life. You can sometimes peep out crazy stuff in someones house lol. Also, you see its actually the same guy the picture is and not be forced to sit through lunch.
  • pastryari
    pastryari Posts: 8,646 Member
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    I don't get what's so bad about a guy that finds you attractive at your goal weight.

    You think just because he dates you when your chubby that makes him more genuine?

    Yeah, I've never understood this mindset. You're attracted to who you're attracted to. Doesn't make you any less of a "genuine" or "nice" guy/girl because of it.
  • drchimpanzee
    drchimpanzee Posts: 892 Member
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    I don't get what's so bad about a guy that finds you attractive at your goal weight.

    You think just because he dates you when your chubby that makes him more genuine?

    Also, on the flip side you may meet a man who is only going out with you because your chubby. That's definately a thing.
  • 1ConcreteGirl
    1ConcreteGirl Posts: 3,677 Member
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    Go to a bar and get sloshed.

    Someone will leave with you, no matter your weight.
  • Timshel_
    Timshel_ Posts: 22,841 Member
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    Online dating for guys means cyberz! Watch out when they say they want to just see you and talk to you on cam!
  • _noob_
    _noob_ Posts: 3,306 Member
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    my wife and I met off a message board...
  • AllTehBeers
    AllTehBeers Posts: 5,030 Member
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    I don't get what's so bad about a guy that finds you attractive at your goal weight.

    You think just because he dates you when your chubby that makes him more genuine?

    Yeah, I've never understood this mindset. You're attracted to who you're attracted to. Doesn't make you any less of a "genuine" or "nice" guy/girl because of it.

    This too. If you're dating a jerk, they're a jerk. No matter what you look like.
  • odusgolp
    odusgolp Posts: 10,477 Member
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    Go to a bar and get sloshed.

    Someone will leave with you, no matter your weight.

    She has a point.

    And you're already on MFP... why pay for Match.com?
  • Rum_Runner
    Rum_Runner Posts: 617 Member
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    I think online dating can work. But I'd be careful about meeting in person the fist few times as there are a lot of shaddy people. Talk for a long while, then meet in public for a few times then..... see where it goes from there!
  • iAMsmiling
    iAMsmiling Posts: 2,394 Member
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    Go to a bar and get sloshed.

    Someone will leave with you, no matter your weight.

    Works for girls to be sure.
    On the other hand, I'm pretty sure I was taken home once because I was the last guy in the place that was still upright.
  • cuterbee
    cuterbee Posts: 545
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    I met my husband sort of through on-line dating.

    We were both on the same site, but I'd made a lot of female friends, one of whom had a party and invited people she liked on the dating site...and there he was -- for him it was love at first sight, but it took me a while longer (I'd been single a loooong time at that point).

    I did quite a bit of online dating and met some nice men and some not-so-nice men. If you decide to go this route, make your first date for coffee or tea and go dutch. If the guy doesn't suit your fancy, then you can shut it down right there; neither of you is really out much $$ and you can get a pretty good idea about him. If things are going well, you can go out to dinner from there, or go for a walk in the park OR make a future date to do something. You can even have a couple of your friends at another table who can help scope him out (I never did this, but it would have been useful a couple of times).
  • dubird
    dubird Posts: 1,849 Member
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    My advice: Do some research about the service you want to try. eharmony and match.com are both fairly good ones, to my knowledge. I met my husband on eharmony, though I had almost given up searching since no one else was interested in the first three months I was on there. >< Still, the fact that the questoniare is fairly extensive and communiction is under your control (meaning, the other person can only communicate through eharmony unless you allow them otherwise) were pluses for me. Granted, not everyone is going to be completely honest on those, but people are more likely to answer questions that way honestly than in person because when you fill it out, you're only interacting with the compter, not someone on the other side. *shrugs* I know other people that have met and fallen in love over chat rooms, too, so meeting people online does work for a lot of people. As long as you take reasonable precautions, I see nothing wrong with it. ^_^
  • iAMsmiling
    iAMsmiling Posts: 2,394 Member
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    As far as online dating....

    Before dating sites there was AOL. Yes. AOL.

    Met my wife in a chat room 19 years ago. It ain't been all sunshine and roses, but we're still together and still in love.
  • kadins_momma07
    kadins_momma07 Posts: 328 Member
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    I married the man I met online :) We weren't on a dating website though, we were just teenagers in a yahoo chat room lol. He was from Illinois and I'm from Georgia. We instantly hit it off and talked every single day through web cam, on the phone and letters. I was only about 16 at the time, but after months of talking to this guy non-stop my mom actually let him come visit us for a week in August 2004, he ended up moving in with us that December and we have been together ever since! :) We're now married with a son and another son on the way! Online/ long distance relationships CAN work if you put in the work and trust! I don't really recommend going into a chat room now days though, there are just too many creepos! But maybe a legit dating website would work. Whatever you choose, good luck! :)

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