Online Dating, Yay or Nay
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The fact of the matter is attraction is important... but what a woman is attracted to varies from person to person...
I have an affinity to gingerbeard men... but not always... just as other woman like chubby guys or fit guys or geeky guys (which I also love!) but the fact of the matter is attraction is necessary and honestly personality and confidence goes far.
I remember when I was going out all the time I never had issues getting dates. Now I don't go out EVER because of a few reasons, thus the attempting online dating. But it wasn't my hot bod for sure and I would go out with girls much prettier but it was my out-going and fun personality that got me the dates.
SOunds cocky but whatev. It's truth SON!!!0 -
I'd say the general problem is women set an unreasonable level of attractiveness that is required. If you're over a certain weight you're done with most women. Period. Not cool. My attitudes are formed based off how I've been treated. If women dated a wider variety of guys I'd have no issue with them.
I'm sorry. I didn't realize we had met before? I definitely didn't realize I had treated you poorly in the past.
You are generalizing and that's the problem.
Listen, I get it. Dating is hard. People treat each other terribly. My ex used me, lied to me, cheated on me, asked me to take him back and then left me for another girl. It was the worst, but I learned a whole lot.
I may be more careful screening the next one, but I'm certainly not going to blame all men for his indiscretions. If I did that then the only person I would be hurting is myself.0 -
I'd say the general problem is women set an unreasonable level of attractiveness that is required. If you're over a certain weight you're done with most women. Period. Not cool. My attitudes are formed based off how I've been treated. If women dated a wider variety of guys I'd have no issue with them.
Yes, because women have a hive mind and we all think alike.
Plus...you really think that some men don't apply that "unreasonable level of attractiveness" to women? Sounds like it's a human thing, that *some* people want a very attractive mate. Don't blame your inability to date on your looks. It's your attitude.0 -
_Pseudonymous-- I suggest dont worry about dating but worry about living the live you want. The online dating can be fun and exciting but those people can be one person online and another in front of you. I suggest try activities you enjoy or join groups like meetup dot you know the rest. And when you are out and about, just talk to people the right person will find you when your not looking. If you put pressure on dating, you will find yourself in a cycle that simple just sucks. I hope this can help you along your way. P.S. Always scan the produce isle at the grocery for potential mates.0
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Online dating for men: Send out 10,000 letters. Get one response.
Online dating for women: Receive 10,000 letters. Respond to only hottest guys.
VERY TRUE! lol, that's why I dont like it. You respond to the 'cuter' guys because you can only go off of the physical attraction first. All the profiles say the same B.S no one really tells who they really are. You just have to learn when or if you meet them.
Online dating works for some, but not everyone. If you do it, set your expectations low....really low. I did it, and I felt like it was a complete waste of time and money. From a womens' perspective, I come across a lot guys who are looking for women online, but dont want to settle down or have a relationship. A lot of the men on it are not really serious ...well when you think about it, it's the same on line or in person, lol. I probably would never do it again. But some people have success....but like I said before, set your expectations low.. .VERY LOW.. and this way you won't be dissappointed if it doesn't work out. And if it does. well then, Good for you
Wow. Finally got a woman to admit all she does is go off of looks. Kudos for your honesty. I'm so sick of hearing, "blah blah blah personality and confidence." Now I just need advice on how to overcome this looks barrier you women make us pass through and I'll be good.
I hate to say this, but I've seen enough of your posts to tell you that you actually have the looks going for you but it's your attitude towards women that sucks and is totally unattractive. There is nothing wrong with admitting that an initial attraction to someone is important. Beyond that, yes personalities need to be compatible. Are you saying you would contact a woman based solely on her profile if you did not find her the least bit attractive? Come on.
^This. I so agree.
I have to be reasonably attracted to a guy to date him. That's normal. But Ryan Gosling could walk through my door and if he had your attitude towards women, I'd throw him out. Bitterness, anger and resentment can make anyone ugly.
I'd say the general problem is women set an unreasonable level of attractiveness that is required. If you're over a certain weight you're done with most women. Period. Not cool. My attitudes are formed based off how I've been treated. If women dated a wider variety of guys I'd have no issue with them.
That is such a generalized statement about women, which is the entire reason I posted what I did. My current interest is overweight, and has other normal visual imperfections, yet he wins me over every day with just how cool he is. And when he smiles at me with his crooked teeth I swoon.
I'm sorry you have had such a bad experience with women, but do you expect it to get better when you continue to treat us all like shallow, conniving b!tches? At some point you're just going to have to trust that we're not all bad. True some are, but that goes for men too.0 -
Simple put, woman were programmed at a early age to be a princess in a fairy land. Then society and reality hits and now in today's society most and I say most, almost everyone would like the milk not the cow. If you don't believe me look at the statistics of those who marry young and now they are divorce. The truth is there isnt just that one person that is your soul mate but a person with many faces. You create your own destiny and love life, you chose who comes and who leaves. This is life.0
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I'd say the general problem is women set an unreasonable level of attractiveness that is required. If you're over a certain weight you're done with most women. Period. Not cool. My attitudes are formed based off how I've been treated. If women dated a wider variety of guys I'd have no issue with them.
I'm sorry. I didn't realize we had met before? I definitely didn't realize I had treated you poorly in the past.
You are generalizing and that's the problem.
Listen, I get it. Dating is hard. People treat each other terribly. My ex used me, lied to me, cheated on me, asked me to take him back and then left me for another girl. It was the worst, but I learned a whole lot.
I may be more careful screening the next one, but I'm certainly not going to blame all men for his indiscretions. If I did that then the only person I would be hurting is myself.
I'm not even talking about dating. It's not an issue of screening. I'm talking about meeting. 9 out 10 times I get blown off in the first 30 seconds because I don't look like the cookie cutter athletic beach body women are hoping walks up to them. You know, that guy they're talking to 5 minutes later.0 -
I say "Yay" and even went so far as to create an on line profile, but my wife found out and she said " nay."0
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I'd say the general problem is women set an unreasonable level of attractiveness that is required. If you're over a certain weight you're done with most women. Period. Not cool. My attitudes are formed based off how I've been treated. If women dated a wider variety of guys I'd have no issue with them.
I'm sorry. I didn't realize we had met before? I definitely didn't realize I had treated you poorly in the past.
You are generalizing and that's the problem.
Listen, I get it. Dating is hard. People treat each other terribly. My ex used me, lied to me, cheated on me, asked me to take him back and then left me for another girl. It was the worst, but I learned a whole lot.
I may be more careful screening the next one, but I'm certainly not going to blame all men for his indiscretions. If I did that then the only person I would be hurting is myself.
I'm not even talking about dating. It's not an issue of screening. I'm talking about meeting. 9 out 10 times I get blown off in the first 30 seconds because I don't look like the cookie cutter athletic beach body women are hoping walks up to them. You know, that guy they're talking to 5 minutes later.
did it EVER occur to you it's your attitude shining through?
my god, if this is how you think inside before you even meet the woman...that her odds are 90% that she's gonna find something wrong with you....
that relays onto your body language, onto your voice inflection...onto EVERYTHING...
you're killing your chances before you even get a chance dude....
man UP!0 -
I'd say the general problem is women set an unreasonable level of attractiveness that is required. If you're over a certain weight you're done with most women. Period. Not cool. My attitudes are formed based off how I've been treated. If women dated a wider variety of guys I'd have no issue with them.
I'm sorry. I didn't realize we had met before? I definitely didn't realize I had treated you poorly in the past.
You are generalizing and that's the problem.
Listen, I get it. Dating is hard. People treat each other terribly. My ex used me, lied to me, cheated on me, asked me to take him back and then left me for another girl. It was the worst, but I learned a whole lot.
I may be more careful screening the next one, but I'm certainly not going to blame all men for his indiscretions. If I did that then the only person I would be hurting is myself.
I'm not even talking about dating. It's not an issue of screening. I'm talking about meeting. 9 out 10 times I get blown off in the first 30 seconds because I don't look like the cookie cutter athletic beach body women are hoping walks up to them. You know, that guy they're talking to 5 minutes later.
I've seen guys much fuglier than you score women with looks that were way out of their league. Maybe the guys were all rich. Maybe they just had better personalities.
Everyone judges based on looks to a certain extent. But I doubt you've been victimized by that as much as your butt-hurt would indicate.0 -
I'd say the general problem is women set an unreasonable level of attractiveness that is required. If you're over a certain weight you're done with most women. Period. Not cool. My attitudes are formed based off how I've been treated. If women dated a wider variety of guys I'd have no issue with them.
I'm sorry. I didn't realize we had met before? I definitely didn't realize I had treated you poorly in the past.
You are generalizing and that's the problem.
Listen, I get it. Dating is hard. People treat each other terribly. My ex used me, lied to me, cheated on me, asked me to take him back and then left me for another girl. It was the worst, but I learned a whole lot.
I may be more careful screening the next one, but I'm certainly not going to blame all men for his indiscretions. If I did that then the only person I would be hurting is myself.
I'm not even talking about dating. It's not an issue of screening. I'm talking about meeting. 9 out 10 times I get blown off in the first 30 seconds because I don't look like the cookie cutter athletic beach body women are hoping walks up to them. You know, that guy they're talking to 5 minutes later.
Well, it's either the disdain dripping off your face or you are going after the wrong girls. Either way, there's a common denominator.
I have never been disrespectful to a guy who approached me in a respectful way. I'll talk to anyone if they have a good personality. I have also never bee lined to the hottest guy in the bar. I don't even pick up guys in bars.
You know what kills me here? There's a lot of people on MFP who I am sure would be happy to get to know you. But, instead of being nice and making friends, you've opted to alienate the entire female population here by constantly telling us how awful we are. What a wasted opportunity - and it's very telling about your approach in r/l.
It's so much easier to generalize and alienate an entire gender than it is to change yourself and your attitude. Good luck with that.0 -
I tried the dating sites and hated it (scary *kitten* people out there) but 2 of my best friends are married to their online love matches. I have however met a perfect man on this site - he just unfortunately is married! :grumble:0
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I'd say the general problem is women set an unreasonable level of attractiveness that is required. If you're over a certain weight you're done with most women. Period. Not cool. My attitudes are formed based off how I've been treated. If women dated a wider variety of guys I'd have no issue with them.
I'm sorry. I didn't realize we had met before? I definitely didn't realize I had treated you poorly in the past.
You are generalizing and that's the problem.
Listen, I get it. Dating is hard. People treat each other terribly. My ex used me, lied to me, cheated on me, asked me to take him back and then left me for another girl. It was the worst, but I learned a whole lot.
I may be more careful screening the next one, but I'm certainly not going to blame all men for his indiscretions. If I did that then the only person I would be hurting is myself.
I'm not even talking about dating. It's not an issue of screening. I'm talking about meeting. 9 out 10 times I get blown off in the first 30 seconds because I don't look like the cookie cutter athletic beach body women are hoping walks up to them. You know, that guy they're talking to 5 minutes later.
If it happens in the first 30 seconds and they've already screened you on the internetz, then I'd go with a shower and a stick of deodorant.0 -
I'd say the general problem is women set an unreasonable level of attractiveness that is required. If you're over a certain weight you're done with most women. Period. Not cool. My attitudes are formed based off how I've been treated. If women dated a wider variety of guys I'd have no issue with them.
I'm sorry. I didn't realize we had met before? I definitely didn't realize I had treated you poorly in the past.
You are generalizing and that's the problem.
Listen, I get it. Dating is hard. People treat each other terribly. My ex used me, lied to me, cheated on me, asked me to take him back and then left me for another girl. It was the worst, but I learned a whole lot.
I may be more careful screening the next one, but I'm certainly not going to blame all men for his indiscretions. If I did that then the only person I would be hurting is myself.
I'm not even talking about dating. It's not an issue of screening. I'm talking about meeting. 9 out 10 times I get blown off in the first 30 seconds because I don't look like the cookie cutter athletic beach body women are hoping walks up to them. You know, that guy they're talking to 5 minutes later.
Good god, your bitter is showing...again.
If you give of this vibe IRL, I'd run for the hills to get away from you, too.0 -
I tried the dating sites and hated it (scary *kitten* people out there) but 2 of my best friends are married to their online love matches. I have however met a perfect man on this site - he just unfortunately is married! :grumble:
I don't mean to break so many hearts...just can't help it. :blushing:0 -
Online dating for men: Send out 10,000 letters. Get one response.
Online dating for women: Receive 10,000 letters. Respond to only hottest guys.
VERY TRUE! lol, that's why I dont like it. You respond to the 'cuter' guys because you can only go off of the physical attraction first. All the profiles say the same B.S no one really tells who they really are. You just have to learn when or if you meet them.
Online dating works for some, but not everyone. If you do it, set your expectations low....really low. I did it, and I felt like it was a complete waste of time and money. From a womens' perspective, I come across a lot guys who are looking for women online, but dont want to settle down or have a relationship. A lot of the men on it are not really serious ...well when you think about it, it's the same on line or in person, lol. I probably would never do it again. But some people have success....but like I said before, set your expectations low.. .VERY LOW.. and this way you won't be dissappointed if it doesn't work out. And if it does. well then, Good for you
Wow. Finally got a woman to admit all she does is go off of looks. Kudos for your honesty. I'm so sick of hearing, "blah blah blah personality and confidence." Now I just need advice on how to overcome this looks barrier you women make us pass through and I'll be good.
Are you sure it is your looks that are turning women off? Most of your thread comments are so incredibly defeatist, bitter, and whiny that you have made yourself, quite frankly, repulsive.
Please do us all a favour and stop ****ing whining about how all women are shallow and only care about looks.0 -
drchimpanzee - I'm going to be totally straight up with you. I think you are a really good looking guy - your before pictures are hot, your current pictures are hot. If I were single (or of lesser character) I would be on you like white on rice.
Until you open your mouth. And then, all I see is your ugly attitude.
I deleted you from my FL a few weeks back after a lengthy and heated discussion between you and me and one of my other friends, wherein we both shared with you our experiences in dating overweight men. Each of us explained our attractions toward men of a heavier build, and that not only do WE put personality first and foremost when choosing partners, neither of us keep female friends that would do anything less as well. You still maintained that at least 80% of women were shallow and superficial, and wouldn't give you the time of day when you were overweight because of it, and won't give you their attention now because ... well, because of who knows what. Honestly, I stopped listening at that point. And deleted you. Your ignorance and sexism is disheartening.
You know that saying about how if everything around you is bad, the common denominator is probably you? Yeah, that's what's going on here. You're good looking, reasonably intelligent, pretty well spoken, and seem to be gainfully employed. The only thing stopping you from finding a decent woman is YOU. I promise you that. Please get some counseling for your insecurities and sexist ideas about women, because it hurts my heart to see you struggle so much with this.0 -
You got a lot of responses to this! I hope you get to mine.
I met my boyfriend on Okcupid and we almost didn't meet at all. He lives in Indiana and I live in Milwaukee and although we both were really statistically compatible (and kept showing up on each other's suggestions) we both thought that it was too far. I ended up messaging him anyway. Long story short, we've been dating for two and half years now and we're planning a future together!
My boyfriend accepts me for exactly who I am and even if I wasn't trying to lose the weight that I am, He would still accept me.
As far as okcupid is concerned, be honest with yourself and the people you meet on there. I also think all of the questions and quizzes seem stupid, but definitely shows who you might be more compatible with!
Good luck on your journey!0 -
I met my bf online....not a dating website just an old social network site and we have been together 9 yrs this may
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never tried it myself. the men i've dated who have done the online thing usually have a laundry list of traits they're looking for--and are still single b/c they do not understand that most 24 year old independently wealthy female theoretical physicists do not look like victoria secret models. and yes, they're still single after our break up.
i wonder why. but since they're my dating demographic, i don't bother looking online. 0
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