Online Dating, Yay or Nay

kimad

Is this really true? (I mean, obviously 10,000 is an exaggeration, but the concept). I'm a woman on an online dating site, I do NOT get many messages, and I send out quite a bit and then don't get any response. A single guy friend of mine seems to agree with you, that girls get tons and tons of messages . . . where did you guys hear this?? From women, or is it just what you're presuming?? thanks.

I posted the same thing a couple pages back, but no one ever believes me so it's good to hear another woman with the same issue. A guy friend of mine got into a heated debate with me over it saying something must be wrong with my profile, so I brought it up and he said it looked good. So I've taken it to mean I'm just defective and not worthy. And there goes my self-esteem again...

haha I am SURE you are NOT defective and unworthy! I think the guys are just talking out of their *kitten* and somehow it makes them feel better to think the online dating world is harder for them . . .

I also wonder.... I get very few responses to my add or to my winks/emails to men.
I thought losing weight may help from a 'shallow' perspective, but nah still no response.

ETA: I certainly didn't lose weight to attract men via online dating, just an observation as I have lost most of my weight while on the dating scene.

whierd

Anyone else like burgers?

EricMurano

So I recently received some very sound advice from a friend of mine. They suggested that I should start looking at dating NOW during this process that way I can weed out the ones who like me for me and not for my being skinny when I reach my goal. The only problem with this is how the fracking heck do you meet people? I mean seriously? I work, and I go work out with a friend but I don't go out. I refuse to date anyone at my job because... well... if you were at my job you would understand. So that leaves what? Online dating? Where would I go outside of online dating?

Needless to say I am currently accepting advice from the world of MFP... please rain your wisdom upon me!!!

I think you should start internet dating (well, dating in general) NOW because you're a pretty and attractive girl NOW. I looked at the photos in your profile and you're good looking.

As for "how do you meet people?" - just be open to meeting people and do things outside of the house. Get more real-life social. Internet dating is a good way to meet potential mates but you have to be meet a lot of people and you have to 'filter' a lot. Do not get discouraged when you don't meet mr (or miss?) Right for the first few months or even years. Just keep meeting people that look like they could be a good fit and decide early on whether you want to see them again.

Be 'picky' but not so much that you have unrealistic expectations. Everyone has things about them that you won't like. It's a hard line to draw but you will find the balance when deciding who to accept and who to disconnect with.

kimad

Every woman I talk to says the same thing. It goes something like this:

'Oh my God...! This site is EXHAUSTING!! I'm thinking of deleting it because it's so overwhelming!!'

Here's a few quotes from the OP and another woman on this thread alone:

So yep, it's confirmed. Damn, I shouldn't have opened this thread. Was feeling really good today.

If you're defective, so am I.

But guys apparently get few messages and girls get a *kitten* ton. I'm a girl who got, like, four messages in four months despite being active on various sites.

I have guy friends that get tons...yet I get almost none.

It is what it is...letting something like that determine how you feel about yourself is a really poorly chosen path. I've been single two years now, excepting the few short episodes I listed earlier in this thread. I've had total *kitten* friends go through ten girls I'd have happily dated in that same time period. I could misconstrue this to mean something is wrong with me, I'm ugly, I'm a horrible person, or any of a dozen other reasons that stem from who I am. I don't really think that's it though, and the last thing in the world I'd do...is let it effect my self worth.

You shouldn't either!!

Differences aside from the Body Pump thread, I think the problem with people feeling that way about you on MFP is becuase they have gotten to know you here... they know your healthy liftstyle, what makes you tick, how you can motivate, your interests blah blah... online dating you get a one shot deal, you don't get the friendships you have formed here. MFP should be a dating site

dragonz11

my partner and I meet online on vodafone chat and have bin together almost 10yrs this yr :0)

toddis

If you are wary of online dating you can always try things like Meetup.com and find groups with people of similar interests. Goofy community college courses like russian baking or grass basket weaving or whatever your interest is...etc.

As far as women getting more messages than men...well...Many of those messages aren't exactly for promising relationships.

As far as doing it now prior to losing weight...that's a personal choice. Would you select a man in the same position as you?

seanezekiel

Go to a bar and get sloshed.

Someone will leave with you, no matter your weight.

Sad

crisanderson27

Is this really true? (I mean, obviously 10,000 is an exaggeration, but the concept). I'm a woman on an online dating site, I do NOT get many messages, and I send out quite a bit and then don't get any response. A single guy friend of mine seems to agree with you, that girls get tons and tons of messages . . . where did you guys hear this?? From women, or is it just what you're presuming?? thanks.

I posted the same thing a couple pages back, but no one ever believes me so it's good to hear another woman with the same issue. A guy friend of mine got into a heated debate with me over it saying something must be wrong with my profile, so I brought it up and he said it looked good. So I've taken it to mean I'm just defective and not worthy. And there goes my self-esteem again...

haha I am SURE you are NOT defective and unworthy! I think the guys are just talking out of their *kitten* and somehow it makes them feel better to think the online dating world is harder for them . . .

I also wonder.... I get very few responses to my add or to my winks/emails to men.
I thought losing weight may help from a 'shallow' perspective, but nah still no response.

ETA: I certainly didn't lose weight to attract men via online dating, just an observation as I have lost most of my weight while on the dating scene.

I don't see why anyone wouldn't reply to you, to be honest.

I wish you luck...dating in general sucks. Online dating can be both better, and worse.

But it still sucks lol.

whierd

Dating sites are too much pressure. Plus it tends to attract creepers and emotionally unstable people.

crisanderson27

Every woman I talk to says the same thing. It goes something like this:

'Oh my God...! This site is EXHAUSTING!! I'm thinking of deleting it because it's so overwhelming!!'

Here's a few quotes from the OP and another woman on this thread alone:

So yep, it's confirmed. Damn, I shouldn't have opened this thread. Was feeling really good today.

If you're defective, so am I.

But guys apparently get few messages and girls get a *kitten* ton. I'm a girl who got, like, four messages in four months despite being active on various sites.

I have guy friends that get tons...yet I get almost none.

It is what it is...letting something like that determine how you feel about yourself is a really poorly chosen path. I've been single two years now, excepting the few short episodes I listed earlier in this thread. I've had total *kitten* friends go through ten girls I'd have happily dated in that same time period. I could misconstrue this to mean something is wrong with me, I'm ugly, I'm a horrible person, or any of a dozen other reasons that stem from who I am. I don't really think that's it though, and the last thing in the world I'd do...is let it effect my self worth.

You shouldn't either!!

Differences aside from the Body Pump thread, I think the problem with people feeling that way about you on MFP is becuase they have gotten to know you here... they know your healthy liftstyle, what makes you tick, how you can motivate, your interests blah blah... online dating you get a one shot deal, you don't get the friendships you have formed here. MFP should be a dating site

I'm no different in my day to day life than I am here. Matter of fact, I'm no different anywhere on the internet lol. My screen name here is my screen name pretty much everywhere...for a reason. You mentioned the body pump thread...which is kind of funny, because threads like those are pretty much why I have the friends I do have on MFP lol. Kinda ironic to be honest.

I do agree about MFP being a dating site though, and it pretty much is in a very large way. Sooooo many people have met their husbands and wives here, it's great .

kimad

Every woman I talk to says the same thing. It goes something like this:

'Oh my God...! This site is EXHAUSTING!! I'm thinking of deleting it because it's so overwhelming!!'

Here's a few quotes from the OP and another woman on this thread alone:

So yep, it's confirmed. Damn, I shouldn't have opened this thread. Was feeling really good today.

If you're defective, so am I.

But guys apparently get few messages and girls get a *kitten* ton. I'm a girl who got, like, four messages in four months despite being active on various sites.

I have guy friends that get tons...yet I get almost none.

It is what it is...letting something like that determine how you feel about yourself is a really poorly chosen path. I've been single two years now, excepting the few short episodes I listed earlier in this thread. I've had total *kitten* friends go through ten girls I'd have happily dated in that same time period. I could misconstrue this to mean something is wrong with me, I'm ugly, I'm a horrible person, or any of a dozen other reasons that stem from who I am. I don't really think that's it though, and the last thing in the world I'd do...is let it effect my self worth.

You shouldn't either!!

Differences aside from the Body Pump thread, I think the problem with people feeling that way about you on MFP is becuase they have gotten to know you here... they know your healthy liftstyle, what makes you tick, how you can motivate, your interests blah blah... online dating you get a one shot deal, you don't get the friendships you have formed here. MFP should be a dating site

I'm no different in my day to day life than I am here. Matter of fact, I'm no different anywhere on the internet lol. My screen name here is my screen name pretty much everywhere...for a reason. You mentioned the body pump thread...which is kind of funny, because threads like those are pretty much why I have the friends I do have on MFP lol. Kinda ironic to be honest.

I do agree about MFP being a dating site though, and it pretty much is in a very large way. Sooooo many people have met their husbands and wives here, it's great .

I agree, and people shouldn't be who they are not - no matter what site they are on. When I was poking fun at you, I was kidding hence the HAHAHA.... Teeley told me it wasn't nice, so I apologize. I still maintain my stance though on that thread :P and I just did BP tonight! Nonetheless, I am sure people have hooked up on this site, I have met wonderful ladies from my city... no men yet though! I am paying Eharmony for that, I wish they'd give me a good one!