My opinion (don't read if you're overly sensitive)

allisonlane61

Wow. I don't see myself as overly sensitive, but let's face it folks - if we were all at goal weight and loved how we looked and felt we wouldn't have joined MFP. Food is fuel and oxygen is fuel. Stress demands a lot of fuel and those who work long hours often turn to food to just keep functioning. When they finally can take a break, they crash. For many of us, not only does it take great strength and determination to get and stay healthy, it takes a whole me-first outlook that we're not accustomed to. So instead of ragging on folks who are out there giving 100% to everyone else - their jobs, families, friends, others - and have made no time for themselves, let's help them see how important they are. Let's encourage their wellness instead of whining that we don't want to hear excuses. After all, nearly all of us have been there.

Nice first post. An ounce of kindness always beats a pound of bullying.

tapirfrog

Very true! I thought I was depressed until I realized that lack of movement reduces the endorphins and dopomine that we naturally produce to keep us healthy. Anyone that is depressed, get them moving. Get them off the drugs. DO NOT ENABLE THEM!

ZOMG! Tom Cruise is on MFP!

Much better reply than mine. You win the Internet today.

devil_in_a_blue_dress

I don't get why people are dismissing this young woman because she's only 19. I've read some of the dumbest material over the Internet from people who are much older. Just because a person is older than 30, does not make him/her wise. Legally, she's considered an adult and her opinions should be respected just as much as a person who is 40.

I happened to agree with most of what she wrote but I wll advise her to try to be more of a role model to her excuse-making friends instead of a critic. Either that or simply try to steer clear from them if they don't respect your efforts to become fit.

Please see her profile and her claims of maturity. You might agree with her -- but your approach actually IS mature.

muziclver

I don't get why people are dismissing this young woman because she's only 19. I've read some of the dumbest material over the Internet from people who are much older. Just because a person is older than 30, does not make him/her wise. Legally, she's considered an adult and her opinions should be respected just as much as a person who is 40.

I happened to agree with most of what she wrote but I wll advise her to try to be more of a role model to her excuse-making friends instead of a critic. Either that or simply try to steer clear from them if they don't respect your efforts to become fit.

this is the most respectable post i've seen on this thread yet.

Thewatcher_66

I don't get why people are dismissing this young woman because she's only 19. I've read some of the dumbest material over the Internet from people who are much older. Just because a person is older than 30, does not make him/her wise. Legally, she's considered an adult and her opinions should be respected just as much as a person who is 40.

I happened to agree with most of what she wrote but I wll advise her to try to be more of a role model to her excuse-making friends instead of a critic. Either that or simply try to steer clear from them if they don't respect your efforts to become fit.

this is the most respectable post i've seen on this thread yet.

Thank you.

VoodooLuLu

I am so sick of hearing dumb excuses from people who "really want and need to lose the weight". If I had a dollar for everytime someone complained about something or had an excuse as to why they can't work out or eat right that day- I would have enough money for a gym membership to 17 different gyms all over the country AND enough money to fly to each one 23 times a day!

"I can't work out. I live in an apartment and I would disturb people"
"I can't work out. I don't have a gym membership"
"I can't eat healthy. I don't have any food"
"I feel so depressed. I can't work out"
"I don't have enough money to get a gym membership"
"I don't have any motivation"
"What's the point?"
"I am too busy"
Those are only a few of the excuses and complaints that I hear on a daily basis whether it be on the site or someone in my family or a close friend? You know what I have to say to all of these? -
"Talk to the people below you. If they don't like It, too bad"
"Work out at home"
"Go buy some food or make something healthy. There are plenty of healthy dishes that can be done on $10"
"Suck it up"
"You don't need one"
"Find it and than give me a call"
"The point is, you're fat"
"I am busy too. Talk to you after I work out"

Seriously. Everyone has their "days" but, when a friend posts how crappy their life is, how busy they are and how poor they are- I don't feel bad. You can still use your own body weight to work out and you can lose weight. Eat the crap food than but, learn portion control. If you find yourself saying "what's the point" or "I don't want to" than, you're right! You really don't want to lose the weight, you want it to accumulate, you want to get larger and you want to have health issues. If you see yourself looking in the mirror and seeing something gross, do something about it. Cut the crap, enough with the excuses and get off of your *kitten*!!!

I am sorry if this offends someone but, if it offends you- take my advice. I am sure there will be a lot of other's who also cannot stand the daily excuses with people. What do you want us to say? Eventually, I am going to end up giving up on your dreams since you can't even reach for your dreams! Sorry if I sound "witchy" but, this is real life- you can't live a happy and healthy life if you aren't happy and healthy. YOU are the only one that can do this. Suck it up, put the donut down and do some push ups!!! Make today great, everyone!

Wow. Just wow. Way to be motivational and supportive. Dismissing and minimizing others problems is very supportive and motivational. You are a virtual paragon of compassion and empathy for your friends. Are you looking for the strike by setting up a divisive topic on purpose, or does this just come naturally to you?

And in case you missed it,

Yeah. Excuses suck. I try to never miss a gym day, and I try to eat healthy. Sometimes, my friends don't. I don't attack them and dismiss their feelings and problems. I help them find a way to overcome them.

Next, I am going to assume you are young and naive. You obviously don't have a lot of real world experience. You probably have never had to deal with spiteful neighbors, or threats of eviction from being disturbing of your neighbors.
You probably have never had to deal with going hungry because you don't have a support network, or a job, or you have other competing priorities that take your money (like home repairs, car repairs, mortgages, etc) that leave you without a lot of money for groceries leaving you only crappy choices like processed non nutritive crap food.

You obviously have no idea what mental illness or depression is like. A person who is truly depressed does not just have a little sadness, and can't just "suck it up and get over it." Depression is crippling, and it takes therapy and likely medication. People who are depressed can barely get out of bed. Did you know that many people who start on anti-depressants kill themselves, or attempt to kill themselves after they are medicated. Do you know why? The reason why is that they have wanted to kill themselves for a long time, but didn't have the energy or motivation to do so until they were medicated, and began to feel good enough to follow through on their plans. Just think of the depth of how little they can accomplish if this is the case.

here is a suggestion, if you don't like your friends excuses, delete them. You obviously don't give a siht about them anyway. Dont' start a rant about them. Just STFU!

This

allisonlane61

I don't get why people are dismissing this young woman because she's only 19. I've read some of the dumbest material over the Internet from people who are much older. Just because a person is older than 30, does not make him/her wise. Legally, she's considered an adult and her opinions should be respected just as much as a person who is 40.

I happened to agree with most of what she wrote but I wll advise her to try to be more of a role model to her excuse-making friends instead of a critic. Either that or simply try to steer clear from them if they don't respect your efforts to become fit.

"Dumb[est]" comes in all ages. There's a difference between "dumb" out of ignorance and "dumb" out of inexperience. (I'm only using "dumb" because that's the word you chose.) I'd far prefer the young, inexperienced version over the ignorance version.

If OP had posted in a manner similar to your's, this thread wouldn't have resulted in the both-sides-bashing fest it has turned in to.

Thewatcher_66

I don't get why people are dismissing this young woman because she's only 19. I've read some of the dumbest material over the Internet from people who are much older. Just because a person is older than 30, does not make him/her wise. Legally, she's considered an adult and her opinions should be respected just as much as a person who is 40.

I happened to agree with most of what she wrote but I wll advise her to try to be more of a role model to her excuse-making friends instead of a critic. Either that or simply try to steer clear from them if they don't respect your efforts to become fit.

Please see her profile and her claims of maturity. You might agree with her -- but your approach actually IS mature.

Again, I probably would not have come across as harsh but to her point, I do grow tired of people who tend to waste my own time. For example, many of some of my friends swear up and down that they are looking to change their lifestyle and then they'll insist on meeting me at the park for a run.............................and not end up showing up.

afrazier128

Aside from telling someone who is depressed to "suck it up", I agree with it all.

Agreed to a point. Now that I have starting working out at least 5 days a week, I feel better; not as depressed! All that serotonin and those endorphins are great!

Kid4life68

Excuses are a form of protection when you aren't ready to accept that change needs to occur. No one wants to fail at anything they do and weight loss something very public where others can see your success or failure fairly quickly. When you aren't strong enough in your convictions or don't have enough self-esteem, etc. you use excuses to protect you from experiencing failure. We all need a kick in the pants every once in awhile. For those using an excuse, our words of encouragement or kick may be just what they need to make that commitment to change their lives. Yes, excuses suck but if you can support that person enough to just get them over the hump to commit, you many just save their life.

SpeSHul_SnoflEHk

Disclaimer: , unless of course they're paying you for that.

Not even then. We have about 40-50% compliance rates with medical treatments and even lower for exercise programs.

SusanaLdn

I am so sick of hearing dumb excuses from people who "really want and need to lose the weight". If I had a dollar for everytime someone complained about something or had an excuse as to why they can't work out or eat right that day- I would have enough money for a gym membership to 17 different gyms all over the country AND enough money to fly to each one 23 times a day!

"I can't work out. I live in an apartment and I would disturb people"
"I can't work out. I don't have a gym membership"
"I can't eat healthy. I don't have any food"
"I feel so depressed. I can't work out"
"I don't have enough money to get a gym membership"
"I don't have any motivation"
"What's the point?"
"I am too busy"
Those are only a few of the excuses and complaints that I hear on a daily basis whether it be on the site or someone in my family or a close friend? You know what I have to say to all of these? -
"Talk to the people below you. If they don't like It, too bad"
"Work out at home"
"Go buy some food or make something healthy. There are plenty of healthy dishes that can be done on $10"
"Suck it up"
"You don't need one"
"Find it and than give me a call"
"The point is, you're fat"
"I am busy too. Talk to you after I work out"

Seriously. Everyone has their "days" but, when a friend posts how crappy their life is, how busy they are and how poor they are- I don't feel bad. You can still use your own body weight to work out and you can lose weight. Eat the crap food than but, learn portion control. If you find yourself saying "what's the point" or "I don't want to" than, you're right! You really don't want to lose the weight, you want it to accumulate, you want to get larger and you want to have health issues. If you see yourself looking in the mirror and seeing something gross, do something about it. Cut the crap, enough with the excuses and get off of your *kitten*!!!

I am sorry if this offends someone but, if it offends you- take my advice. I am sure there will be a lot of other's who also cannot stand the daily excuses with people. What do you want us to say? Eventually, I am going to end up giving up on your dreams since you can't even reach for your dreams! Sorry if I sound "witchy" but, this is real life- you can't live a happy and healthy life if you aren't happy and healthy. YOU are the only one that can do this. Suck it up, put the donut down and do some push ups!!! Make today great, everyone!

Wow. Just wow. Way to be motivational and supportive. Dismissing and minimizing others problems is very supportive and motivational. You are a virtual paragon of compassion and empathy for your friends. Are you looking for the strike by setting up a divisive topic on purpose, or does this just come naturally to you?

And in case you missed it,

Yeah. Excuses suck. I try to never miss a gym day, and I try to eat healthy. Sometimes, my friends don't. I don't attack them and dismiss their feelings and problems. I help them find a way to overcome them.

Next, I am going to assume you are young and naive. You obviously don't have a lot of real world experience. You probably have never had to deal with spiteful neighbors, or threats of eviction from being disturbing of your neighbors.
You probably have never had to deal with going hungry because you don't have a support network, or a job, or you have other competing priorities that take your money (like home repairs, car repairs, mortgages, etc) that leave you without a lot of money for groceries leaving you only crappy choices like processed non nutritive crap food.

You obviously have no idea what mental illness or depression is like. A person who is truly depressed does not just have a little sadness, and can't just "suck it up and get over it." Depression is crippling, and it takes therapy and likely medication. People who are depressed can barely get out of bed. Did you know that many people who start on anti-depressants kill themselves, or attempt to kill themselves after they are medicated. Do you know why? The reason why is that they have wanted to kill themselves for a long time, but didn't have the energy or motivation to do so until they were medicated, and began to feel good enough to follow through on their plans. Just think of the depth of how little they can accomplish if this is the case.

here is a suggestion, if you don't like your friends excuses, delete them. You obviously don't give a siht about them anyway. Dont' start a rant about them. Just STFU!

This

Yep.

Edited to add: And I've read some comments mentioning her age. I don't care, I haven't even checked her profile. As previously said, many people my age and older are complete idiots. Now, whatever age this lady is, she has no understanding of a lot of serious things in life. Unfortunately, ignorance is not an excuse, and kindness goes further than criticism. Sweetheart, woman up.

NewLIFEstyle4ME

:drinker: :smooched: :drinker:

Just the swift kick in the tail I needed this morning...I'm feeling rather blase and ugh-ish today--you ROCK for posting this! Here's some quotes I'll be thinking about in addition to your tough love post:

He that is good for making excuses is seldom good for anything else.
Benjamin Franklin

A lie is an excuse guarded. ~Jonathan Swift

Ninety-nine percent of the failures come from people who have the habit of making excuses.
George Washington Carver

It is wise to direct your anger towards problems - not people; to focus your energies on answers - not excuses.
William Arthur Ward

Not managing your time and making excuses are two bad habits. Don't put them both together by claiming you "don't have the time". Bo Bennett

I am not the kind of woman who excuses her mistakes while reminding us of what used to be. Gene Tierney

No excuses and no sob stories. Life is full of excuses if you're looking. I have no time to gripe over misfortune. I don't waste time looking back. Junior Seau

The only man who is really free is the one who can turn down an invitation to dinner without giving an excuse. ~Jules Renard

Maybe you don't like your job, maybe you didn't get enough sleep, well nobody likes their job, nobody got enough sleep. Maybe you just had the worst day of your life, but you know, there's no escape, there's no excuse, so just suck up and be nice.
~Ani Difranco

And oftentimes excusing of a fault
Doth make the fault the worse by the excuse.
~William Shakespeare

allisonlane61

Disclaimer: , unless of course they're paying you for that.

Not even then. We have about 40-50% compliance rates with medical treatments and even lower for exercise programs.

I guess not everyone is as cheap and careful with their money as I am then

devil_in_a_blue_dress

I don't get why people are dismissing this young woman because she's only 19. I've read some of the dumbest material over the Internet from people who are much older. Just because a person is older than 30, does not make him/her wise. Legally, she's considered an adult and her opinions should be respected just as much as a person who is 40.

I happened to agree with most of what she wrote but I wll advise her to try to be more of a role model to her excuse-making friends instead of a critic. Either that or simply try to steer clear from them if they don't respect your efforts to become fit.

Please see her profile and her claims of maturity. You might agree with her -- but your approach actually IS mature.

Again, I probably would not have come across as harsh but to her point, I do grow tired of people who tend to waste my own time. For example, many of some of my friends swear up and down that they are looking to change their lifestyle and then they'll insist on meeting me at the park for a run.............................and not end up showing up.

If you look back -- a (hot) nurse posted the stages of coming to terms with making a life change --- wavering and weighing out pros and cons is a natural part of the process. I don't like people who don't honor their commitments either - but people have to get their themselves -- that means that they have to realize their excuses ARE excuses -- somebody else pointing it out and saying "get over it" isn't how a lot of people operate. Some do, admittedly, but I would guess those people are further in the process.

tbullucks06

Aside from telling someone who is depressed to "suck it up", I agree with it all.

SANCHLI

Wow. Just wow. Way to be motivational and supportive. Dismissing and minimizing others problems is very supportive and motivational. You are a virtual paragon of compassion and empathy for your friends. Are you looking for the strike by setting up a divisive topic on purpose, or does this just come naturally to you?

And in case you missed it,

Yeah. Excuses suck. I try to never miss a gym day, and I try to eat healthy. Sometimes, my friends don't. I don't attack them and dismiss their feelings and problems. I help them find a way to overcome them.

Next, I am going to assume you are young and naive. You obviously don't have a lot of real world experience. You probably have never had to deal with spiteful neighbors, or threats of eviction from being disturbing of your neighbors.
You probably have never had to deal with going hungry because you don't have a support network, or a job, or you have other competing priorities that take your money (like home repairs, car repairs, mortgages, etc) that leave you without a lot of money for groceries leaving you only crappy choices like processed non nutritive crap food.

You obviously have no idea what mental illness or depression is like. A person who is truly depressed does not just have a little sadness, and can't just "suck it up and get over it." Depression is crippling, and it takes therapy and likely medication. People who are depressed can barely get out of bed. Did you know that many people who start on anti-depressants kill themselves, or attempt to kill themselves after they are medicated. Do you know why? The reason why is that they have wanted to kill themselves for a long time, but didn't have the energy or motivation to do so until they were medicated, and began to feel good enough to follow through on their plans. Just think of the depth of how little they can accomplish if this is the case.

here is a suggestion, if you don't like your friends excuses, delete them. You obviously don't give a siht about them anyway. Dont' start a rant about them. Just STFU!

I like you.

FR sent!

SpeSHul_SnoflEHk

For goodness sake, stop with the age bashing. There are plenty of older adults who would make similarly insensitive posts to this. She's 19, so? Stop with the patronising posts about how she hasn't had the life experience to understand. Just because we're young adults, doesn't mean that we haven't put up with some s*** in our lives. Why does everyone seem to think that anyone under the age of 25 is uneducated and naive?

Because the OP said some uneducated and naive things perhaps?

emmalouc93

I actually agree.

GirlyGirl28a

that is actually a great post! it's the truth for sure!! The comment I love the best was "The point is, you're fat" . lol not to be mean, but, it's true! sometimes I think we have to take that to heart and finally admit the truth about ourselves! it's like that movie "the ugly truth". we all know what the truth is.. but a lot of times, it is so hard to actually accept it!

great post!