My opinion (don't read if you're overly sensitive)

RunHardBeStrong

Yeah, but the rest of us would never have joined mfp at all if we weren't full of those same excuses at some point. I ate like a pig, didn't exercise, and whined about being fat. Now I'm here. We should try to remember that these excuse-filled people just aren't ready yet.

Agreed. Everyone starts somewhere and until they decide to take that step, there will be excuses. I believe most can understand this because a lot of us have been that person.

SpeSHul_SnoflEHk

And what is it with the 19-20 something mothers who want to give so much advice about life on this site? SMH

Right, they haven't even had time to work full time, get married, have a kid, or two, or three, or four, money issues, layoffs, home repairs, car repairs, death of loved ones, ill health...

Come see me when you're 51 and we'll hear what tune you're singing then.

Disclaimer: I am 51 and a non-complainer, but old enough to recognize you can't bully someone into better health. You can encourage and motivate, and sympathize or empathize, but not browbeat and bully, unless of course they're paying you for that.

But... But she is very mature for her age ^^

LOL!

Thewatcher_66

I don't get why people are dismissing this young woman because she's only 19. I've read some of the dumbest material over the Internet from people who are much older. Just because a person is older than 30, does not make him/her wise. Legally, she's considered an adult and her opinions should be respected just as much as a person who is 40.

I happened to agree with most of what she wrote but I wll advise her to try to be more of a role model to her excuse-making friends instead of a critic. Either that or simply try to steer clear from them if they don't respect your efforts to become fit.

Please see her profile and her claims of maturity. You might agree with her -- but your approach actually IS mature.

Again, I probably would not have come across as harsh but to her point, I do grow tired of people who tend to waste my own time. For example, many of some of my friends swear up and down that they are looking to change their lifestyle and then they'll insist on meeting me at the park for a run.............................and not end up showing up.

If you look back -- a (hot) nurse posted the stages of coming to terms with making a life change --- wavering and weighing out pros and cons is a natural part of the process. I don't like people who don't honor their commitments either - but people have to get their themselves -- that means that they have to realize their excuses ARE excuses -- somebody else pointing it out and saying "get over it" isn't how a lot of people operate. Some do, admittedly, but I would guess those people are further in the process.

Agreed. Pardon my ignorance here but what do y'all mean by OP? LOL

stumblinthrulife

Legally, she's considered an adult and her opinions should be respected just as much as a person who is 40.

Agree to disagree on this matter. All other aspects of intelligence being equal, I'll take life advice from a 40 year old over a 19 year old any day of the week, and twice on Sundays.

It's true that there are some very clever 19 year-olds out there. And some really, really dumb 40 year-olds. But the existence of extremes doesn't change the general rule that a person with more life experience is better placed to form informed opinions on life.

And before anyone calls out the "well teenagers can have crappy things happen to them too!" card - yeah, sure, they can. I had stuff happen to me before the age of 10 that would traumatize an adult. Lot's of teenagers have dealt with crap in their short lives. But few have yet had to carry-on regardless. Few have had to pick an entire family off the floor after being made redundant and having homes and cars repossessed. Few have had to personally put the affairs of a loved one in order after they passed on (as was my personal task just last year). Few have buried children. Few have lived years in the shadow of cancer waiting for the all clear. Few have had to work two jobs to keep food in children's bellies. Few have lost multiple pregnancies and been told they may never have children.

It's not their failing, in fact, it's a blessing for them. But people who have dealt with things of that gravity don't really appreciate having their problems reduced to 'your excuse is invalid, stop whining' by a young girl.

I am fully aware of the irony of this statement. I am aware that in rebutting I am making a generalization myself. But I don't think it's too much of a stretch to say that someone who has lived twice as long will generally have twice the experience.

SpeSHul_SnoflEHk

Great motivational tiraid, mate!
I liked it, thanks for the support!

(Don't listen to what some others say... This site is loaded with bullies, it's pathetic really.)

Yep, people suggesting compassion, rather than asserting that they are superior because they "don't make excuses" is totally bullying.

Dollface, I read that bit you replied to as heavily dripping wiht sarcasm.

Me? Sarcastic? Never.

Actually, I meant that bolded part above.

devil_in_a_blue_dress

I don't get why people are dismissing this young woman because she's only 19. I've read some of the dumbest material over the Internet from people who are much older. Just because a person is older than 30, does not make him/her wise. Legally, she's considered an adult and her opinions should be respected just as much as a person who is 40.

I happened to agree with most of what she wrote but I wll advise her to try to be more of a role model to her excuse-making friends instead of a critic. Either that or simply try to steer clear from them if they don't respect your efforts to become fit.

Please see her profile and her claims of maturity. You might agree with her -- but your approach actually IS mature.

Again, I probably would not have come across as harsh but to her point, I do grow tired of people who tend to waste my own time. For example, many of some of my friends swear up and down that they are looking to change their lifestyle and then they'll insist on meeting me at the park for a run.............................and not end up showing up.

If you look back -- a (hot) nurse posted the stages of coming to terms with making a life change --- wavering and weighing out pros and cons is a natural part of the process. I don't like people who don't honor their commitments either - but people have to get their themselves -- that means that they have to realize their excuses ARE excuses -- somebody else pointing it out and saying "get over it" isn't how a lot of people operate. Some do, admittedly, but I would guess those people are further in the process.

Agreed. Pardon my ignorance here but what do y'all mean by OP? LOL

OP refers to original post(er)

devil_in_a_blue_dress

Great motivational tiraid, mate!
I liked it, thanks for the support!

(Don't listen to what some others say... This site is loaded with bullies, it's pathetic really.)

Yep, people suggesting compassion, rather than asserting that they are superior because they "don't make excuses" is totally bullying.

Dollface, I read that bit you replied to as heavily dripping wiht sarcasm.

Me? Sarcastic? Never.

Actually, I meant that bolded part above.

Oh, well :blushing:

Thewatcher_66

Anh720- Thanks. It should have been obvious but sometimes I do ride on the short bus.

Sweet_Gurl_Next_Door

I agree with you. its kind of like my sister in law saying I really need to quit smoking but..........
lists me the reasons why she can't quit doing it. I told her stop with the excuses and stop talking about it and do it already.
its like anything the people who make excuses to be honest I think they either don't want it bad enough to fight for it or they want a quick fix because they want to be lazy and not make the effort. I am losing this weight on my own. doing changes daily to help me do so. so far I lost 75 pounds. I started out at 250 pounds and a size 26. I am now 175 pounds and a size 14. 3 sizes away from my goal size. granted its been 2 1/2 years to reach this point but I got here.

NavyKnightAh13

bumping

allisonlane61

I agree with you. its kind of like my sister in law saying I really need to quit smoking but..........
lists me the reasons why she can't quit doing it. I told her stop with the excuses and stop talking about it and do it already.
its like anything the people who make excuses to be honest I think they either don't want it bad enough to fight for it or they want a quick fix because they want to be lazy and not make the effort. I am losing this weight on my own. doing changes daily to help me do so. so far I lost 75 pounds. I started out at 250 pounds and a size 26. I am now 175 pounds and a size 14. 3 sizes away from my goal size. granted its been 2 1/2 years to reach this point but I got here.

Congratulations on losing those 75 pounds.

But what did you do on your way to those 250 pounds? Make excuses? Can you remember back to that? Did anyone's bullying you prompt you to lose those 75 or were you finally just ready to do that. We all run our own races, and just because someone is faster than us, doesn't mean we can catch up to them right away.

It kind of reminds me of the summer my daughter spent attempting to jump off a dock into two feet of water. She was maybe four years old, and she'd stand on the platform everyday (we used to go to a campground that summer). She'd make the motions of jumping, but just couldn't bring herself to do it. We clapped for her, told her nothing would happen, and finally, on the LAST DAY THE CAMP WAS OPEN that summer, she jumped!

I can guarantee you complaining to her and whining about her wouldn't have helped. We built up her confidence and self esteem. I believe this is the same premise.

Thewatcher_66

I agree with you. its kind of like my sister in law saying I really need to quit smoking but..........
lists me the reasons why she can't quit doing it. I told her stop with the excuses and stop talking about it and do it already.
its like anything the people who make excuses to be honest I think they either don't want it bad enough to fight for it or they want a quick fix because they want to be lazy and not make the effort. I am losing this weight on my own. doing changes daily to help me do so. so far I lost 75 pounds. I started out at 250 pounds and a size 26. I am now 175 pounds and a size 14. 3 sizes away from my goal size. granted its been 2 1/2 years to reach this point but I got here.

Congrats on your progress. Sounds like you've been making a lot of sacrifices and working hard. I will say that nicotine is an addiction and quitting is very hard; thanks in large part to a bunch of chicanery and unethical marketing practices used by the tobacco industry (another topic). A smoker probably needs a support group (probably more so than a dieter) to quit smoking because for some, it can be extremely hard. The best way to not get addicted is to not even start.

efirkey

I find it ironic that this post is in the Motivation and Support Board.

But I do agree with you on most of your points.

PaigeAnderson100

I have depression, bipolar disorder, body dysmorphic disorder and anxiety... I don't use them as excuses and I SUCK THEM UP long enough to work out and change my lifestyle.
Yeah, I am 19 years old and not as "experienced" as some of you but, it's common sense to stop with the bullspit excuses....


I didn't mean to come across as harsh about the depression thing, trust me... I got it.

dawningr

I do wonder how many excuses it takes to need to lose over 100 lbs?

We are all in some kind of path of fitness and health and some people are more ready than others. Just not sure why someone else's excuses should effect you so much.... Me, I focus on my goals and my commitment....I find it works much better.

Ditto. It's always easier to point fingers at other people, rather than yourself.

SpeSHul_SnoflEHk

I don't get why people are dismissing this young woman because she's only 19. I've read some of the dumbest material over the Internet from people who are much older. Just because a person is older than 30, does not make him/her wise. Legally, she's considered an adult and her opinions should be respected just as much as a person who is 40.

I happened to agree with most of what she wrote but I wll advise her to try to be more of a role model to her excuse-making friends instead of a critic. Either that or simply try to steer clear from them if they don't respect your efforts to become fit.

Please see her profile and her claims of maturity. You might agree with her -- but your approach actually IS mature.

Again, I probably would not have come across as harsh but to her point, I do grow tired of people who tend to waste my own time. For example, many of some of my friends swear up and down that they are looking to change their lifestyle and then they'll insist on meeting me at the park for a run.............................and not end up showing up.

If you look back -- a (hot) nurse posted the stages of coming to terms with making a life change --- wavering and weighing out pros and cons is a natural part of the process. I don't like people who don't honor their commitments either - but people have to get their themselves -- that means that they have to realize their excuses ARE excuses -- somebody else pointing it out and saying "get over it" isn't how a lot of people operate. Some do, admittedly, but I would guess those people are further in the process.

Oh. I didn't realize I duplicated a post. Is this hot nurse bigger than me?

poesch77

Your point is valid, don't get me wrong, but I'm pretty sure many of the people on this forum did that at some point. I certainly did. We don't all just get fat and then instantly swing into a healthy lifestyle without some hiccups. The people you complain about just haven't had that 'right, that's it' moment. Have some patience and help them if they need it.

agreed ^^^

holsieg

Sweetheart... You're 18. Do you really want to do this? I don't want to bash anyone, I was just like you and the OP when I was your age. I thought I was so mature... No.

Do I really want what? This is an unbelievable generalisation, and very much supports the point I was making, just like your attempt to patronise me by calling me 'sweetheart'

I'm laughing so hard right now because I said pretty much exactly the same thing, almost word for word, in a similar situation when was 18.
Now I'm 35 and look back and realize I had my head so far up my own backside that it's a miracle that I could hear my own voice, never mind enjoy it so much.

That doesn't mean that all young adults are like this. Like I said below, I know I won't convince you that many young adults are much more mature than their age would suggest.

This particular OP seems to thrive on the idea that she vary mature for her age (see her profile). In reality, mature people don't call out things that don't directly impact themselves in some way.

Yes, that is true and maybe she isn't. Although it's quite interesting that she has experienced depression in her life.

No one is saying young adults are uneducated and naive, but simply by virtue of life, inexperienced. You don't have the years or experiences to form judgments based on experiences. That's not to say your judgments are incorrect all the time, or correct all the time, but until certain things are lived, judgments are incomplete at best.

I agree, many young adults have little experience of the real world, yet some do. Everyone has incorrect judgements at time, and it's the generalisation that many older adults seem to have that I find the most upsetting. I know that I could say this a million times, and I will still be told statements like 'I'll understand when I'm older'. Reading some of these posts has made me sad, because the chances are that if I hadn't been honest about my age on my profile, my post would have been treated like the one below mine and considered an adult opinion.

I don't get why people are dismissing this young woman because she's only 19. I've read some of the dumbest material over the Internet from people who are much older. Just because a person is older than 30, does not make him/her wise. Legally, she's considered an adult and her opinions should be respected just as much as a person who is 40.
I happened to agree with most of what she wrote but I will advise her to try to be more of a role model to her excuse-making friends instead of a critic. Either that or simply try to steer clear from them if they don't respect your efforts to become fit.
Because the OP said some uneducated and naive things perhaps?

Thank you for saying this

allisonlane61

Your point is valid, don't get me wrong, but I'm pretty sure many of the people on this forum did that at some point. I certainly did. We don't all just get fat and then instantly swing into a healthy lifestyle without some hiccups. The people you complain about just haven't had that 'right, that's it' moment. Have some patience and help them if they need it.

agreed ^^^

It's actually difficult to hand-hold and help someone who isn't ready yet. It's far easier to just tell them to "suck it up."

younginaz

Yeah, but the rest of us would never have joined mfp at all if we weren't full of those same excuses at some point. I ate like a pig, didn't exercise, and whined about being fat. Now I'm here. We should try to remember that these excuse-filled people just aren't ready yet.

Well said!