Why do people say men and women can't be platonic friends?

samanthajade124

Just doing a bit of reading in my down time at work, and came across a "study" apparently proving that men and women cannot be just friends. But it doesn't actually suggest that men and women can’t be friends; nor does it seem it was ever the researchers’ objective to prove it. It looks like they set out to show that experiences reflect men’s short-term sexual desires relative to women’s - which is something rather different. I would like to get opinions from both men and women on this.

In my opinion, I do think that men and women can sustain a platonic relationship. There may be some attraction, but that doesn't mean that they are unable to maintain fulfilling and non-sexual relationships. Friendship itself can vary from person to person, incorporating everything from a best friend since grade school to someone you once drunkenly kissed at a party. Sexual attraction may add an extra dynamic to friendships between men and women, and could also lead to occasional problems. But stop to think... seeing it as some sort of friendship ultimatum would make for a lot of lonely people.

Again, I'm just looking for personal opinions.

Maribel_1986

I think men and women can be friends... But in most cases yes, one or both are sexually attracted to each other at one point or another during the friendship. Samantha watch the movie "When Harry Met Sally" (Meg Ryan and Billy Crystal). It's a great movie that involves this very same topic.

OneEyeUp

Because its true.

quirkytizzy

Because its true.

It's the boobs. Just knowing they're there, under that sinfully short burka - yeesh, so tempting. Who needs that?

diodelcibo

I don't know... *uses mind reading powers*

Because lamp.

fara180

i have several male friends who have never been anything other than that: friends. it is very likely that either they or i have, at some point in time, been attracted to and entertained the idea of taking things a little further with the other. i think it helps to try to befriend people who you aren't attracted to at all...but that makes me sound shallow.

Rix06

Because woman are beautiful creations and we cant help being attracted to them

sbbhbm

Because woman are beautiful creations and we cant help being attracted to them

This is why I cannot be platonic friends with men OR women...

Tuffjourney

I love men and when I see them I think dirty things. :devil:

Cr01502

I can be friends with women.

If they're attractive I'll probably want to sleep with them.

If they're not attractive then I probably won't.

I just assumed that's how it works for you ladies as well . . .

samanthajade124

I think men and women can be friends... But in most cases yes, one or both are sexually attracted to each other at one point or another during the friendship. Samantha watch the movie "When Harry Met Sally" (Meg Ryan and Billy Crystal). It's a great movie that involves this very same topic.

I've seen it, and I still disagree. I think that they are trying to show is that men are more likely to try to push a friendship into romantic or sexual territory, and between nominally platonic friends... that is a burden. But it’s a huge leap to suggest that this completely prevents friendships between men and women.

YES there may be sexual attraction but that doesn't mean you HAVE to act on it. To suggest that any unreciprocated feelings or advances prevent the continuation of a friendship is unrealistic.

RandiLandCHANGED

I can be friends with women.

If they're attractive I'll probably want to sleep with them.

If they're not attractive then I probably won't.

I just assumed that's how it works for you ladies as well . . .

I'm glad we're friends.

samanthajade124

I don't know... *uses mind reading powers*

Because lamp.

Of course. This explains it all. lol

UsedToBeHusky

I honestly can't think of one close male friend that I was not eventually intimate with. And by that I mean, someone that I befriended, talked to every day, and spent my time with.

There were men I worked with that I considered friends that I did not interact with outside of work that do not fall into this category. And men that were friends of my SO that also do not fall into this category.

I think, in order to say men and women cannot have a platonic relationship, you have to define that platonic relationship.

Amy62575

IMO, usually straight men will remain friends unless/until you give them an opportunity for more. They really just want to bang anyway, so they are just waiting for the in.

DaughterOfTheMostHighKing

most people who say that can't. if you can't then don't and don't put yourself in that situation. and stay away from other people's spouses.

Mainebikerchick

I can be friends with women.

If they're attractive I'll probably want to sleep with them.

If they're not attractive then I probably won't.

I just assumed that's how it works for you ladies as well . . .

That's EXACTLY how it works for us!!!

quiksylver296

My best friend for the last 17 years is a guy. Never been sexually attracted (not that he's hideous or anything).

rob1976

It's usually because they can't unless one or both people are horribly unattractive...and then it's still an anomaly if they can pull it off.

olDave

I can only speak for myself. Personal experience has shown that platonic relationships are certainly possible.

Mavrick7a

Because woman are beautiful creations and we cant help being attracted to them

This is why I cannot be platonic friends with men OR women...

No, I disagree.... all my beautiful lady friends can trust me, run around naked in front of me. No reaction at all. :bigsmile:

Okay, I guess men are wired that way :laugh:

Sweet_Gurl_Next_Door

male and females can just be friends with each other. I have a few male friends I am strictly friends with. so when they say men and women can't just be friends they are mistaken.

SoViLicious

I have made out with every single one of my male friends. Except my husbands brother... because he is not my friend. Yet.

tageekly

I can be friends with women.

If they're attractive I'll probably want to sleep with them.

If they're not attractive then I probably won't.

I just assumed that's how it works for you ladies as well . . .

Pretty much. That's why most men can be friends with me.

jessiwebb

I don't know... *uses mind reading powers*

Because lamp.

Purple, beause aliens don't wear hats?

Honestly, no dea. My best friend is a guy and I've never been attracted to him and pretty sure he's never been attracted to me. *shrug* Guess it's like everything else and depends on the individuals involved.

iulia_maddie

I have lots of guy friends and they don't want to sleep with me. They made that very clear. Painfully clear.

Cliffslosinit

Let's be friends and see:flowerforyou:

twinketta

You can not have a man friend as a platonic friend.

If you have a friend there is a reason for it and male/female is because of an attraction/physical/sexual

If female/female it is because of empathy/attraction/physical/envy and sometimes sexual.

This is the short version

samanthajade124

most people who say that can't. if you can't then don't and don't put yourself in that situation. and stay away from other people's spouses.

I agree with this completely. I'm not married but I have seen marriages fall apart due to another woman or another man. It's sad that people don't know boundaries. But that doesn't mean that men and women still can't be legitimate platonic friends.

Bownzi

I think they can be friends....but in some cases society does force another veiw on things...

Timshel_

I used to have sex with platonic friends all the time, so I dunno.