Why do people say men and women can't be platonic friends?

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Replies

  • OneEyeUp
    OneEyeUp Posts: 373 Member
    i have several male friends who have never been anything other than that: friends. it is very likely that either they or i have, at some point in time, been attracted to and entertained the idea of taking things a little further with the other. i think it helps to try to befriend people who you aren't attracted to at all...but that makes me sound shallow.

    ^THIS^

    This is a very common delusion. Women simply don't understand the male mind. We do nothing for women without at least a 0.5% hope that sex will come of it.

    no matter the motivation, if nothing happens, by definition it's platonic.

    http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/platonic love

    Astute, yet linear. In a universe that may very well exist with multiple layers of one instance of reality, to view anything like this , is how cheating and adultery happen. The DESIRE to have sex with a woman is the emotionalized action of doing so. Besides the incorporeal aspect of it, intention OFTEN becomes action. Put simply, even if it didn't happen I wouldn't want my wife spending the night with a man who desired to bang her.
  • samanthajade124
    samanthajade124 Posts: 217 Member
    As my original post said..... sexual attraction can add dynamic to a friendship, but that doesn't mean that you have to act on it.
  • Guillotined
    Guillotined Posts: 115
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T_lh5fR4DMA&feature=youtube_gdata_player

    Women are the ones who believe men and women can be just friends. They dont realize men cant do this. Its hard coded into men's brains to lust for women and mate. If a man tells you that he's fine with just being friends, its one of several reasons :

    1) (95% of the time) he's a liar, like most of us guys do well. He's waiting for the right moment.
    2) he's a beta and hasn't the nerve or know how to chase you
    3) he's grossed out by the thought of you sexually.
    4) he knows better (I.e. job/boss complications, best friends sister, etc)
  • Cr01502
    Cr01502 Posts: 3,614 Member
    So in summation, if you've been friends with lots of people of the opposite sex for a long time, it means you're unattractive. The end.

    Yes. Or gay.
  • Guatamellon
    Guatamellon Posts: 102 Member
    My best friend is a guy. We have been very close friends for 4 years. We get a lot of crap from our close friends. They tell us to hook up all the time but we truely care about our friendship. It has caused problems with people that we have dated because we are super close. We do have a special bond or whatever you want to call it but YES it can happen.
  • swimmer_chick
    swimmer_chick Posts: 137 Member
    Sure we can! I've got guy friends who I get on with really well, I can admit they're attractive (if they are) but that doesn't mean we have to be more than friends! But after reading some of these now I'm worried that either I'm highly unattractive or too naive.. either way, oops :(
  • BurtHuttz
    BurtHuttz Posts: 3,653 Member
    Speaking as a married man whose wife is on this site, I can say with confidence that of course I don't want to bang any of my female friends, no matter how physically attractive they are.
    2edz0v5.jpg.gif
  • UsedToBeHusky
    UsedToBeHusky Posts: 15,228 Member
    Speaking as a married man whose wife is on this site, I can say with confidence that of course I don't want to bang any of my female friends, no matter how physically attractive they are.
    2edz0v5.jpg.gif

    :laugh: :laugh:
  • olDave
    olDave Posts: 557 Member
    i have several male friends who have never been anything other than that: friends. it is very likely that either they or i have, at some point in time, been attracted to and entertained the idea of taking things a little further with the other. i think it helps to try to befriend people who you aren't attracted to at all...but that makes me sound shallow.

    ^THIS^

    This is a very common delusion. Women simply don't understand the male mind. We do nothing for women without at least a 0.5% hope that sex will come of it.

    no matter the motivation, if nothing happens, by definition it's platonic.

    http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/platonic love

    Astute, yet linear. In a universe that may very well exist with multiple layers of one instance of reality, to view anything like this , is how cheating and adultery happen. The DESIRE to have sex with a woman is the emotionalized action of doing so. There were people of old, smarter than us, who believed that if you fantasized about a woman, then you incurred the sin/pleasure of doing so. Besides the incorporeal aspect of it, intention OFTEN becomes action. Put simply, even if it didn't happen I wouldn't want my wife spending the night with a man who desired to bang her.


    Just because some ancients were superstitious and believed that our thoughts somehow condemned us, it doesn't mean they were"smarter than us". If anything, man has become more knowledgable about himself and his world.

    Besides, we're talking about the modern day definition of "platonic".
  • odusgolp
    odusgolp Posts: 10,477 Member
    So in summation, if you've been friends with lots of people of the opposite sex for a long time, it means you're unattractive. The end.

    Yes. Or gay.

    Which, for the record, doesn't mean I'm still not completely attracted to them and wish they liked my female anatomy.
  • BusyRaeNOTBusty
    BusyRaeNOTBusty Posts: 7,166 Member
    Just because I wanna bang someone doesn't mean that I will or that they can't be my friend.
  • VorJoshigan
    VorJoshigan Posts: 1,106 Member
    Because men are usually not very picky about our sex partners. Ladies - most of your straight male friends are probably at least a tiny bit interested in having sex with you. Not usually to the point where it's a significant motivator, but it's always a consideration.

    I will warn you though - DO NOT ASK. If you ask, then the guy has to either lie, or tell you he wants to do you. Don't ask if you're not willing to hear either of those.

    That said, most of my friends are women, though most of them are gay so that makes it easier.
  • lovelyMYlovely
    lovelyMYlovely Posts: 1,066 Member
    because one or the other will develope feelings in my opinion.... i had many guy friends and ty all had a crush on me.... even the ones WITH girlfriends sad to say :(
  • DontStopB_Leakin
    DontStopB_Leakin Posts: 3,863 Member
    Just because I wanna bang someone doesn't mean that I will or that they can't be my friend.
    Also, this. I've had loads of male friends. They've very clearly stated they want to bang me. And that's fine. As long as they don't act on it, I couldn't care less.

    And, holy newsflash, Batman! They never do.
  • quirkytizzy
    quirkytizzy Posts: 4,052 Member


    Astute, yet linear. In a universe that may very well exist with multiple layers of one instance of reality, to view anything like this , is how cheating and adultery happen. The DESIRE to have sex with a woman is the emotionalized action of doing so. There were people of old, smarter than us, who believed that if you fantasized about a woman, then you incurred the sin/pleasure of doing so. Besides the incorporeal aspect of it, intention OFTEN becomes action. Put simply, even if it didn't happen I wouldn't want my wife spending the night with a man who desired to bang her.

    Good to know your confidence in your ability to mercilessly paw at an attractive woman is so low that you feel the need to sequester yourself.

    Also great confidence in your wife's fidelity, too.

    1214v95.gif
  • OneEyeUp
    OneEyeUp Posts: 373 Member
    i have several male friends who have never been anything other than that: friends. it is very likely that either they or i have, at some point in time, been attracted to and entertained the idea of taking things a little further with the other. i think it helps to try to befriend people who you aren't attracted to at all...but that makes me sound shallow.

    ^THIS^

    This is a very common delusion. Women simply don't understand the male mind. We do nothing for women without at least a 0.5% hope that sex will come of it.

    no matter the motivation, if nothing happens, by definition it's platonic.

    http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/platonic love

    Astute, yet linear. In a universe that may very well exist with multiple layers of one instance of reality, to view anything like this , is how cheating and adultery happen. The DESIRE to have sex with a woman is the emotionalized action of doing so. Besides the incorporeal aspect of it, intention OFTEN becomes action. Put simply, even if it didn't happen I wouldn't want my wife spending the night with a man who desired to bang her.


    Just because some ancients were superstitious and believed that our thoughts somehow condemned us, it doesn't mean they were"smarter than us". If anything, man has become more knowledgable about himself and his world.

    Besides, we're talking about the modern day definition of "platonic".

    Sorry good sir. I removed that one sentence that you focused on, from the paragraph so that you could see the main point.
  • LuckyLeprechaun
    LuckyLeprechaun Posts: 6,296 Member
    There were people of old, smarter than us, who believed that if you fantasized about a woman, then you incurred the sin/pleasure of doing so.

    They thought the earth was flat, too.

    You really think thoughts=actions? Because if so, I oughta be on death row.
  • Contrarian
    Contrarian Posts: 8,138 Member
    I can have platonic relationships with anyone. It's because I'm unattractive. I currently have a zit the size of a basketball on my face.
  • paulperryman
    paulperryman Posts: 839 Member
    because they can, not everyone thinks with there genitals
  • SoViLicious
    SoViLicious Posts: 2,633 Member
    I want to bang everyone on my fl...it shouldn't even be called a friends list, just Matt's bang list. I see where this question is coming from

    because no one of your 'off line ' female friends would touch you with a 10 ft stick whilst wearing a space suit

    Im his offline friend and we band regularly THANK YOU VERY MUCH!
  • OneEyeUp
    OneEyeUp Posts: 373 Member
    There were people of old, smarter than us, who believed that if you fantasized about a woman, then you incurred the sin/pleasure of doing so.

    They thought the earth was flat, too.

    You really think thoughts=actions? Because if so, I oughta be on death row.

    Sigh. I have since removed that one sentence from the post. The rest of the paragraph is the main point. "People of old," is a reference to the abilities that people of ancient times had to predict future events and phenomena. The people of today have no true abilities like that, instead its " Call me now for ya free readin." Obviously intentions aren't actions......

    Here is the fixed post.
    Astute, yet linear. In a universe that may very well exist with multiple layers of one instance of reality, to view anything like this , is how cheating and adultery happen. The DESIRE to have sex with a woman is the emotionalized action of doing so. Besides the incorporeal aspect of it, intention OFTEN becomes action. Put simply, even if it didn't happen I wouldn't want my wife spending the night with a man who desired to bang her. (it's not about not having trust in the wife, its about a barbaric man slavering over her privacies. Why does no one understand the precious nature of a woman's spirit/body?)
  • Cliffslosinit
    Cliffslosinit Posts: 5,044 Member
    I want to bang everyone on my fl...it shouldn't even be called a friends list, just Matt's bang list. I see where this question is coming from

    HOLD ER NEWT! She's gonna be a spinner...she smells alfalfa!
  • iulia_maddie
    iulia_maddie Posts: 2,780 Member
    because one or the other will develope feelings in my opinion.... i had many guy friends and ty all had a crush on me.... even the ones WITH girlfriends sad to say :(
    That's because you are irresistible. I'll make sure to keep my man away from you.
  • Guillotined
    Guillotined Posts: 115
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T_lh5fR4DMA&feature=youtube_gdata_player

    Women are the ones who believe men and women can be just friends. They dont realize men cant do this. Its hard coded into men's brains to lust for women and mate. If a man tells you that he's fine with just being friends, its one of several reasons :

    1) (95% of the time) he's a liar, like most of us guys do well. He's waiting for the right moment.
    2) he's a beta and hasn't the nerve or know how to chase you
    3) he's grossed out by the thought of you sexually.
    4) he knows better (I.e. job/boss complications, best friends sister, etc)

    Look at my video link. Also, scroll through and look at female vs male responses. Proof is in the pudding. Also-

    dayum1.gif
  • quirkytizzy
    quirkytizzy Posts: 4,052 Member
    "People of old," is a reference to the abilities that people of ancient times had to predict future events and phenomena. Obviously intentions aren't actions......

    I'm not even sure what this means.
  • JasonT1973
    JasonT1973 Posts: 229 Member
    It is pretty simple: If the girl is attractive then she is silly if she thinks ANY of her (straight) male friends aren't thinking about having relations with her. Now, things like marriage/bf/gf get in the way of acting on those feelings but they are always there. I will take it a step further... if you are single and your friend is single... and he doesn't ask you out... something is wrong.
  • odusgolp
    odusgolp Posts: 10,477 Member
    I can have platonic relationships with anyone. It's because I'm unattractive. I currently have a zit the size of a basketball on my face.

    Sorry honey... I'm still in :)
  • cuterbee
    cuterbee Posts: 545
    I have 30+ year platonic friendships with several men (okay, one friendship is actually 40+ years). At one point or another, I've been single at the same time as each of them without us banging each other. Likely at some point, each of them may have felt a transient sexual attraction for me, just as at some point, I felt a transient sexual attraction for each of them, but it wasn't enough to act on it.

    I think some people may have a more difficult time managing this sort of friendship than others. People who are unable to imagine that this can exist perhaps lack either imagination or empathy (or both). I can imagine polyamory, even though it's not for me, and accept that it is the right choice for some other people (and that's OK).
  • twinketta
    twinketta Posts: 2,130 Member
    You can not have a man friend as a platonic friend.

    If you have a friend there is a reason for it and male/female is because of an attraction/physical/sexual

    If female/female it is because of empathy/attraction/physical/envy and sometimes sexual.

    This is the short version
    ...........


    Negative, ghost rider.

    a friend is someone that you are emotionally attached to? It is a relationship.

    A friend is someone that you share thoughts etc with.

    You can have male/female acquaintances that you hang out with, but they are not friends. You can be friendly with these` friends` but IMO to have someone that you call a friend takes a lot of time and care.
    I'm sorry you have such horrible experiences with the opposite sex.

    Hell, it sounds like you've had horrible experiences with friends period.

    I can say, with certainty, that one of my best friends, who is male, has no desire to sleep with me, nor I with him.


    Your personal experience is not the rule, so don't say that just because that's how it worked out for you, that's how it is for everyone. It's simply not true.

    Thank you for your apologies for my friends lol!

    IMO for you to feel defensive for myself and my friends makes me wonder a little about your situation?

    But I can assure you that my friends are true friends and ones that I have taken time to build relationships with over years.

    I can state with 100% certainty that you and your male friend has thought (if not acted upon) having some sort of relationship with each other? That is if you are true male/female friends?
  • matt2442
    matt2442 Posts: 1,259 Member
    I want to bang everyone on my fl...it shouldn't even be called a friends list, just Matt's bang list. I see where this question is coming from

    because no one of your 'off line ' female friends would touch you with a 10 ft stick whilst wearing a space suit

    Must be tough when you can't keep it up anymore, huh?

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