Why do people say men and women can't be platonic friends?
Replies
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I could definitely not be friends with anyone who referred to having sex with a woman as "getting the prize" :huh:
I'm glad I was not the only one who was like :huh: :huh: :huh:
Good, I'm not alone lol0 -
I'm glad that both of you feel this way. You're both young and it's great to hear.I could definitely not be friends with anyone who referred to having sex with a woman as "getting the prize" :huh:
I'm glad I was not the only one who was like :huh: :huh: :huh:
Good, I'm not alone lol0 -
I could definitely not be friends with anyone who referred to having sex with a woman as "getting the prize" :huh:
No worries there! LOL.:noway:0 -
I could definitely not be friends with anyone who referred to having sex with a woman as "getting the prize" :huh:
No worries there! LOL.:noway:
To be honest I'm surprised you have ANY female friends given your incredibly narrow minded view of the gender.0 -
I use to think it did happen, I had a great friend... bestest best friend and I thought it was understood nothing would happen. We had been friends since I was 16, recently he came out and basically said "let's cut the bull. I want you, you want me let's make it work"... when I explained even though I am not always happy with the man in my life I love him, and our family, and have no interest in anything other then friends he cut me out of his life. Stopped talking to me, we use to talk all the time, I miss my friend and it just shows my SO was right. He wanted "in my pants" more then my friendship.
I have other "male friends" but after they got gf's I was suddenly the devil. Perhaps friendship is possible but its a lot more work for opposite sex friendships and outside influence and interpretation isn't always pleasant.
Internet is probably the only place where its somewhat easy to have "friendships with the opposite sex".0 -
For the ladies here...ANY ONE of your male "friends" would, if you asked them to, sleep with you. Its true. Its just how it is.0
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I could definitely not be friends with anyone who referred to having sex with a woman as "getting the prize" :huh:
Duh, It's bumping uglies.0 -
I think it's kind of like the episode of Seinfeld where he has spent time with this woman he considered a friend and they never had sex for years due to the "great conversation" once there was an awkward moment of silence that is when the sexual tension set in and they slept together. That sexual attraction is gonna be there whether is it talked about or not its how the two individuals interact the determines if it stays platonic. I have many male friends but I have also had sexual encounters (not sex exactly) with more of them than not.0
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For the ladies here...ANY ONE of your male "friends" would, if you asked them to, sleep with you. Its true. Its just how it is.
Not true. I have several people I can think of that either due to personality or lack of physical attractiveness, I wouldn't sleep with. Now, when I was 19... totally different story. Oh I would claim platonic desires, but secretly wanted to bang anything I could. I think it goes away with age or something.0 -
Meh, I do it daily. Lots of hot women I train, but I just want to be friends and that's it.
A.C.E. Certified Personal/Group FitnessTrainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition0 -
For the ladies here...ANY ONE of your male "friends" would, if you asked them to, sleep with you. Its true. Its just how it is.
Not true. I have several people I can think of that either due to personality or lack of physical attractiveness, I wouldn't sleep with. Now, when I was 19... totally different story. Oh I would claim platonic desires, but secretly wanted to bang anything I could. I think it goes away with age or something.
I think you want to bang me, but that's not a secret.0 -
Just doing a bit of reading in my down time at work, and came across a "study" apparently proving that men and women cannot be just friends. But it doesn't actually suggest that men and women can’t be friends; nor does it seem it was ever the researchers’ objective to prove it. It looks like they set out to show that experiences reflect men’s short-term sexual desires relative to women’s - which is something rather different. I would like to get opinions from both men and women on this.
In my opinion, I do think that men and women can sustain a platonic relationship. There may be some attraction, but that doesn't mean that they are unable to maintain fulfilling and non-sexual relationships. Friendship itself can vary from person to person, incorporating everything from a best friend since grade school to someone you once drunkenly kissed at a party. Sexual attraction may add an extra dynamic to friendships between men and women, and could also lead to occasional problems. But stop to think... seeing it as some sort of friendship ultimatum would make for a lot of lonely people.
Again, I'm just looking for personal opinions.
This might sound cruel and mean but the only way I could sustain a platonic relationship with a woman is if there was no way I could ever become sexually/physically attracted to her. I do have some gorgeous platonic female friends but it's hard folks. Trust me, it's hard.
again with the 'hard'...only now i have to trust you. man, guys get real 'honest' and 'trust' worthy and generally so serious when talking about hard. wow. ok i believe you all. no need to repeat it anymore. i get it. it's hard.0 -
Meh, I do it daily. Lots of hot women I train, but I just want to be friends and that's it.
A.C.E. Certified Personal/Group FitnessTrainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
this is good to hear. maybe it's different for trainers. cause i honestly dont' think my trainer would bang me ever in any universe. but then again, i consider him my trainer not my friend. i think it's different when your paying someone to spend time with you versus a friendship where they are spending their time with you for free of their own volition. anyway this is just my limited experiance with friends that were men, they eventually tried.0 -
Wow TLDR..
Only reason I came into this thread is because a friend made it!
Yes, men and women can be platonic friends. Simple as.
On another note, I could do with some more friends! Only been here a week!
Cheers!0 -
Arm yourself with this knowledge. It will make you stronger in the end.
I have a friend.
She's hilarious, kind, generous, and everytime I see her she brightens up my day because she's so full of positive energy.
She is also morbidly obese and in a wheel chair.
But you're right. I'm sure I'm just trying to get in her pants.
This thread is ridiculous.0 -
because those people are usually not honest with their intentions to begin with.... i have plenty of female friends and they are just friends. if people have friends of the opposite sex that they are not platonic with then they were just scamming the situation looking for a sex buddy or a weak moment to capitalize on in the first place. just bottom feeders... and nothing wrong with that if both parties involved are of the same mind frame, but if the friendship was made in part of trying to get close to someone, just to strike when the time is right, they were never really a good friend in the first place. my female friends, i value their friendship to much to risk sex and all its complications. I would seriously doubt if they could keep a stable relationship either if thats the case, if you cant even trust yourself around a person of the opposite sex. IMO anyways0
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Arm yourself with this knowledge. It will make you stronger in the end.
I have a friend.
She's hilarious, kind, generous, and everytime I see her she brightens up my day because she's so full of positive energy.
She is also morbidly obese and in a wheel chair.
But you're right. I'm sure I'm just trying to get in her pants.
This thread is ridiculous.
I love this for several reasons.0 -
For the ladies here...ANY ONE of your male "friends" would, if you asked them to, sleep with you. Its true. Its just how it is.
Depends on what that lady looks like, right?
I have never really been able to be friends with males (at least, not for a very long time) because of exactly this reason.0 -
It really all depends on whether attraction is involved IMO... if you find a person of the opposite sex attractive, so much so that you would date them, sleep with them had the opportunity arose then it may be difficult to be platonic down the road as opportunities do open up and life takes different turns.
Even more difficult if the friendship ended up becoming sexual in the past.. I speak from experience, it has been next to impossible to remain platonic with a friend because of a one night stand several years ago. To this day, this guy still hits on me and looks at me differently than he does to other people.0 -
Completely disagree, one of my best friends is a male and nothing would ever go further than friendship.You can not have a man friend as a platonic friend.
If you have a friend there is a reason for it and male/female is because of an attraction/physical/sexual
If female/female it is because of empathy/attraction/physical/envy and sometimes sexual.
This is the short version0 -
Arm yourself with this knowledge. It will make you stronger in the end.
I have a friend.
She's hilarious, kind, generous, and everytime I see her she brightens up my day because she's so full of positive energy.
She is also morbidly obese and in a wheel chair.
But you're right. I'm sure I'm just trying to get in her pants.
This thread is ridiculous.
Of course its the way you are wired didnt you know that?
I get along a lot better with men than I do women, probably after working with 800+ men and being one of only 10 girls, it was bound to happen. I have purely platonic friendships, there is no sexual attraction whatsoever from either side. Alot of my friends like me for my personality, whether they want to pants me or not has never came into the conversation and I highly doubt it would.
I also have friends that yes I'm sure given half a chance yes they would jump if I said yes. But we dont go there, we flirt we joke around etc but they know not to cross that line. well most of them anyway, some I would seriously consider so I think its highly possible you can have a platonic relationship. Some partners however get mighty jealous and insecure about said friendships.0 -
Speaking as a married man whose wife is on this site, I can say with confidence that of course I don't want to bang any of my female friends, no matter how physically attractive they are.
I see what you did there.
:laugh:0 -
I think if you can bang someone without establishing compatibility and emotional connection first (like most guys do), then any friendship with an attractive person of the opposite sex has a very high risk of humping.
I'm in the minority of guys who would only go further sexually if I see the possibility of future (closer) relationship. Basically if she's not wife material, I can be friends with her forever and not worry about sex getting in the way.0 -
Just doing a bit of reading in my down time at work, and came across a "study" apparently proving that men and women cannot be just friends. But it doesn't actually suggest that men and women can’t be friends; nor does it seem it was ever the researchers’ objective to prove it. It looks like they set out to show that experiences reflect men’s short-term sexual desires relative to women’s - which is something rather different. I would like to get opinions from both men and women on this.
In my opinion, I do think that men and women can sustain a platonic relationship. There may be some attraction, but that doesn't mean that they are unable to maintain fulfilling and non-sexual relationships. Friendship itself can vary from person to person, incorporating everything from a best friend since grade school to someone you once drunkenly kissed at a party. Sexual attraction may add an extra dynamic to friendships between men and women, and could also lead to occasional problems. But stop to think... seeing it as some sort of friendship ultimatum would make for a lot of lonely people.
Again, I'm just looking for personal opinions.
I don't know what "people" say but in my case it has never worked. There was always sexual attraction either from my end or the other person's and it messed up the friendship. The intimacy that comes with being close friends can generate sexual feelings and/or a desire to know one another more closely.. That's when problems arise.
But again, this is just my experience.0 -
I think what can make it hard for men to be friends with women is jealousy from spouses/ partners.
I have in the past found that my friends that were larger than me were not very comfortable with me being friends more so alone with their spouse than anything even though there was no interest in that person on my part. That said I tend to get along better with men than I do most women because I have found that a lot of women are quick to pass judgment on me before even getting to know me where as men have tended to view me as one of the guys.0 -
bump0
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I wasn't expecting this post to get quite so much attention, but I do enjoy getting to hear opinions from either side. I don't need to argue. We can respectfully agree to disagree if needed. But thanks everyone for contributing
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I would need to have eight arms to count on my fingers the number of men I enjoy spending time with but am not physically attracted to.0
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For the ladies here...ANY ONE of your male "friends" would, if you asked them to, sleep with you. Its true. Its just how it is.
Depends on what that lady looks like, right?
I have never really been able to be friends with males (at least, not for a very long time) because of exactly this reason.
Okay I've had enough let's test this:
ATTENTION male FL guys......Nice shoes...wanna f***?
PM me when and where if the answer is yes. We can arrange airline travel and hotels later. YOu know what let's skip the hotels. I always wanted to be a member of the mile high club and that'll save us all the costs of the hotels.0 -
" For the ladies here...ANY ONE of your male "friends" would, if you asked them to, sleep with you. Its true. Its just how it is."
Do you men really think that?? If so, how shallow and superficial. I have male friends, and I met them through horse activities, mutual friends, arts of some sort. None of them have ever made a move on me. In fact, with the exception of a local farmer who boards his horses here and showed up last week ****face drunk and horny--he is about 70, and I'm VERY not interested--I have had two men come on to me. One became a lover, one became my husband. Two. In my whole lifetime. Maybe I just know a more cerebral bunch of men.0
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