For those of you that invite others to objectify you:

MireyGal76

Good god I hope that came out right.

It did. And it's my turn to agree with you. :drinker:

I've been lurking, as I'm sure plenty of other people are. In keeping with your analogy, do you find it ironic, then, that several people responded to the OP with a rating, and several with the idea that the OP just needs a good lay?

I do find it ironic, and (somewhat sadly) not unexpected either. The OP made it clear that she is not consenting, and those who chose to rate her or comment on her need for a lay, intentionally stepped out and did it anyways. They saw it in humor, but did the OP?

It's tough - ETA - a really big stretch - to give a direct correlation between that and rape, but it's quite possible that the OP felt verbally assaulted by such comments. The verbal extension beyond assumed boundaries is not a direct parallel because of the fact that the boundaries are not as clearly defined. Does it extend to all chit chat topics, or just those threads, etc.

In any event, I do think people need to be aware that the rate threads are insulting to some who choose not to participate, and extending the "fun and games" outside those threads could be quite insulting, and potentially emotionally harmful to others.

*by emotionally harmful, I mean... if the OP had ever been sexually abused... having someone tell her she needed to be laid hard could trigger memories of that abuse and cause a very physical response to a comment meant in jest.


TL/DR: people, play in your sand boxes... but don't track the sand into other peoples houses. And save me a shovel from time to time.

jonnythan

A reflection of the pathetic state of affairs in education, especially concerning topics like this.

I really think that Jonnythan's contributions to the discussion, at least all the ones I have seen, were pretty thoughtful. I appreciate that he doesn't take any mention of rape culture or sexism personally. I think it is interesting when a woman such as myself mentions rape culture or sexism, some men have these intense knee jerk defensive reactions and call me a man hater. The irony is, I don't think all men are rapists, but the people who think I hate all men because I hate rapists are implying that they do.

Your good intentions aside, I think you'll find most men feel they are being included with the rapist. There are enough people out there equating what we all see as harmless and consensual fun to contributing to rape. Some of us are pretty sensitive about that.
Sexist or not, I was raised to revere women and to protect them from the type of person that generalization associates me with. My reaction to that generalization is bound to be visceral.

No one is being accused of being a rapist.

The idea I'm trying to convey is that "rape culture" is a product of the culture of the objectification of women in general. The OP's post was a response to and criticism of that.

nokanjaijo

A reflection of the pathetic state of affairs in education, especially concerning topics like this.

I really think that Jonnythan's contributions to the discussion, at least all the ones I have seen, were pretty thoughtful. I appreciate that he doesn't take any mention of rape culture or sexism personally. I think it is interesting when a woman such as myself mentions rape culture or sexism, some men have these intense knee jerk defensive reactions and call me a man hater. The irony is, I don't think all men are rapists, but the people who think I hate all men because I hate rapists are implying that they do.

Your good intentions aside, I think you'll find most men feel they are being included with the rapist. There are enough people out there equating what we all see as harmless and consensual fun to contributing to rape. Some of us are pretty sensitive about that.
Sexist or not, I was raised to revere women and to protect them from the type of person that generalization associates me with. My reaction to that generalization is bound to be visceral.

It is visceral to me, as a woman. Rape is so brutally traumatizing, I hate it when people use it to back up a their own petty opinions about how other people relax on a forum.

If you hate rape, and I do, then you wouldn't bandy it about carelessly in a trivial topic like this thread is doing.

GoldspursX3

WTF is the rape culture?

ApexLeader

When you post things like "bang, date, marry?" or "cute, hot, or sexy?" and ask people to objectify you, you are training them to think of everyone around them in those terms.

only if they are mindless drones

iAMsmiling

A reflection of the pathetic state of affairs in education, especially concerning topics like this.

I really think that Jonnythan's contributions to the discussion, at least all the ones I have seen, were pretty thoughtful. I appreciate that he doesn't take any mention of rape culture or sexism personally. I think it is interesting when a woman such as myself mentions rape culture or sexism, some men have these intense knee jerk defensive reactions and call me a man hater. The irony is, I don't think all men are rapists, but the people who think I hate all men because I hate rapists are implying that they do.

Your good intentions aside, I think you'll find most men feel they are being included with the rapist. There are enough people out there equating what we all see as harmless and consensual fun to contributing to rape. Some of us are pretty sensitive about that.
Sexist or not, I was raised to revere women and to protect them from the type of person that generalization associates me with. My reaction to that generalization is bound to be visceral.

It is visceral to me, as a woman. Rape is so brutally traumatizing, I hate it when people use it to back up a their own petty opinions about how other people relax on a forum.

If you hate rape, and I do, then you wouldn't bandy it about carelessly in a trivial topic like this thread is doing.

Agreed.
We have, as a culture, dumbed down the concepts of love, hate, racism and rape, just to name a few.
Everything, it seems, is fair game if you need to score points.

ApexLeader

WTF is the rape culture?

it is a culture where rape is practiced and acceptable, much like the United States as I can rape whomever I want and not have to suffer any consequences.

NormInv

To those saying its not serious and just internet, I met all my wives on MFP!

GoldspursX3

WTF is the rape culture?

it is a culture where rape is practiced and acceptable, much like the United States as I can rape whomever I want and not have to suffer any consequences.

Ah...how lovely.

iAMsmiling

A reflection of the pathetic state of affairs in education, especially concerning topics like this.

I really think that Jonnythan's contributions to the discussion, at least all the ones I have seen, were pretty thoughtful. I appreciate that he doesn't take any mention of rape culture or sexism personally. I think it is interesting when a woman such as myself mentions rape culture or sexism, some men have these intense knee jerk defensive reactions and call me a man hater. The irony is, I don't think all men are rapists, but the people who think I hate all men because I hate rapists are implying that they do.

Your good intentions aside, I think you'll find most men feel they are being included with the rapist. There are enough people out there equating what we all see as harmless and consensual fun to contributing to rape. Some of us are pretty sensitive about that.
Sexist or not, I was raised to revere women and to protect them from the type of person that generalization associates me with. My reaction to that generalization is bound to be visceral.

No one is being accused of being a rapist.

The idea I'm trying to convey is that "rape culture" is a product of the culture of the objectification of women in general. The OP's post was a response to and criticism of that.

Never said you made any such accusation. As I did say, participants in a harmless and consensual game are being generalized as part of a horrendous problem.
The effect is to shut down rational conversation. You can remain rational, you're only making the generalization. Try staying rational when you are grouped in with something you despise.

CorvusCorax77

A reflection of the pathetic state of affairs in education, especially concerning topics like this.

I really think that Jonnythan's contributions to the discussion, at least all the ones I have seen, were pretty thoughtful. I appreciate that he doesn't take any mention of rape culture or sexism personally. I think it is interesting when a woman such as myself mentions rape culture or sexism, some men have these intense knee jerk defensive reactions and call me a man hater. The irony is, I don't think all men are rapists, but the people who think I hate all men because I hate rapists are implying that they do.

Your good intentions aside, I think you'll find most men feel they are being included with the rapist. There are enough people out there equating what we all see as harmless and consensual fun to contributing to rape. Some of us are pretty sensitive about that.
Sexist or not, I was raised to revere women and to protect them from the type of person that generalization associates me with. My reaction to that generalization is bound to be visceral.

It is visceral to me, as a woman. Rape is so brutally traumatizing, I hate it when people use it to back up a their own petty opinions about how other people relax on a forum.

If you hate rape, and I do, then you wouldn't bandy it about carelessly in a trivial topic like this thread is doing.

I agree with this.

And I would like to invite men who are not rapists to instead react to women (or men or anyone) talking about rape being bad by agreeing that rape is bad. When people say things like rape culture doesn't exist, that becomes alienating to me.

EmilyOfTheSun

I avoid these posts too and honestly think that they're stupid. But that's just my opinion.
If someone else wants to participate in them or start up a thread, that's cool. If it makes them happy, cures their boredom, then whatever. Are there more productive ways to spend time? For sure. But we're all guilty of goofing off and fooling around sometimes. If someone wants to waste time in a way that's different from what I'd choose to do, why would I care?

jonnythan

A reflection of the pathetic state of affairs in education, especially concerning topics like this.

I really think that Jonnythan's contributions to the discussion, at least all the ones I have seen, were pretty thoughtful. I appreciate that he doesn't take any mention of rape culture or sexism personally. I think it is interesting when a woman such as myself mentions rape culture or sexism, some men have these intense knee jerk defensive reactions and call me a man hater. The irony is, I don't think all men are rapists, but the people who think I hate all men because I hate rapists are implying that they do.

Your good intentions aside, I think you'll find most men feel they are being included with the rapist. There are enough people out there equating what we all see as harmless and consensual fun to contributing to rape. Some of us are pretty sensitive about that.
Sexist or not, I was raised to revere women and to protect them from the type of person that generalization associates me with. My reaction to that generalization is bound to be visceral.

No one is being accused of being a rapist.

The idea I'm trying to convey is that "rape culture" is a product of the culture of the objectification of women in general. The OP's post was a response to and criticism of that.

Never said you made any such accusation. As I did say, participants in a harmless and consensual game are being generalized as part of a horrendous problem.
The effect is to shut down rational conversation. You can remain rational, you're only making the generalization. Try staying rational when you are grouped in with something you despise.

You know what shut down rational conversation? It wasn't people like me observing how those types of threads are one aspect of a culture of objectification. It was posts like this:

"Woman's Studies major?"

"Would bang, date, take home to mother. 9.356/10."

Incidentally, those were your first two posts in the thread.

You want to talk about shutting down rational conversation? How about you take a hard look at yourself, where your first reaction to a woman saying she didn't want to be objectified was a pair of posts where you first insulted her and then purposefully objectified her.

Alex

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