For those of you that invite others to objectify you:

When you post things like "bang, date, marry?" or "cute, hot, or sexy?" and ask people to objectify you, you are training them to think of everyone around them in those terms. You invite them to make a value judgement of your body, and they begin to make those judgements about others. I speak not just on behalf of women but of everyone on this site. Our culture places way too much value on judgements about people. Is it not enough to just be what you are? Do you have to be "bangable" or "flirty" or have all of these other labels attached to you? And if you do, could you handle that somewhere other than a site for folks who aren't satisfied with their bodies anyways? I realize an ego boost is nice, and I don't mind getting ego boosts every so often, but maybe the place for that is your personal profile or a "hot or not" site.

I can't tell you guys what to post or what to think- the purpose of this post is to invite some discussion about how we create these labels and values for each other and ourselves even as they make us uncomfortable or sad. Many women feel that a "male-dominated culture" has set up these cages of self-judgement for them, but then they go out in pants that say "juicy" across their butts or ask others how hot they are from 1-10. I try really hard to avoid these types of discussions, firstly because beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and secondly because I feel that I have value in and of myself, not just when I'm given a number or a name.

What do you guys think? Do you like it when people tell you you're a certain type of person? Do you like it when people rate you? Do you think others like it when you rate them?
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Replies

  • Cre8veLifeR
    Cre8veLifeR Posts: 1,062 Member
    I think it's just for fun and I have never seen anyone be mean or rude. While it IS making a "judgement" based on a photo, I think the people who play it have to have a sense of humor. I don't think it's really objectifying so much as it's all in fun. This is the "chit chat fun and games" forum. Sometimes I play and sometimes I don't, sometimes it's annoying, but I think the rules are simple: don't be a d!ck and all is well.

    It doesn't bother me if someone finds me attractive or not because as you said, to each his own, and I am married and the only person I care about desiring and wanting me is my hubby hubster because he exists in real life.

    And you know someone is going to reply to what you wrote with a smarmy *bang* don't you? lol
  • hiyomi
    hiyomi Posts: 906 Member
    I think you should read the Forum again, "Chit-Chat, Fun, and games" If you don't want to have fun or play games, there are other forums. ^^ Let us all enjoy our fun. Personally it really makes me feel good that people can compliment each other without knowing them. And sometimes when everyone else calls you fat, and someone else calls you beautiful or whatever it is, it can make you the tiniest bit happier. We all aren't beautiful and thin and we don't always get compliments to have enough self esteem for ourselves, and threads like this CAN make a person feel better about themselves. While you see it as bad or disgraceful, others see it as a source to a little bit better. Some people are bashed and bashed about their weight in real life and can only get a bit of comfort on a thread where someone they do not know has enough kindness to call them beautiful or hot. ^^
  • maiaroman18
    maiaroman18 Posts: 460 Member
    We're not training them; we've been conditioned from a young age to think and/or behave this way, therefore we are reinforcing this behavior. Maybe you should be speaking to preschoolers, because you need to shape behaviors from a young age.
  • RainHoward
    RainHoward Posts: 1,599 Member
    I give you a 6 out of 10
    wouldn't date
    would bang
  • Ed98043
    Ed98043 Posts: 1,333 Member
    I don't partake in any of those threads, but I think they're harmless until they start spilling out into the entire forum. Like when someone posts a serious question outside of "Chit Chat" and some genius replies with "Would bang". Just keep it where it belongs, people.
  • Improvised
    Improvised Posts: 925 Member
    Agree with the OP, but am content to just stay out of those threads.
  • diodelcibo
    diodelcibo Posts: 2,564 Member
    It's not serious , most 5s etc will get rated a 10.
  • zyxst
    zyxst Posts: 9,149 Member
    I give you a 6 out of 10
    wouldn't date
    would bang
    Jon-Stewart-saying-Oh-Snap.gif
  • Mr_Bad_Example
    Mr_Bad_Example Posts: 2,403 Member
    I thought everyone was an automatic '8' or 'would bang' in those threads.

    Now that's support!
  • MidwestAngel
    MidwestAngel Posts: 1,897 Member
    It's not serious , most 5s etc will get rated a 10.

    ONS x 365
  • funhouse77
    funhouse77 Posts: 179 Member
    You're speaking on behalf of women and everyone on this site, huh? :noway: No, don't do that, please, we can speak for ourselves, thanks, so YOU speak for YOURSELF.

    Its a bit of fun. You don't like it, don't participate.
  • hiyomi
    hiyomi Posts: 906 Member
    I don't partake in any of those threads, but I think they're harmless until they start spilling out into the entire forum. Like when someone posts a serious question outside of "Chit Chat" and some genius replies with "Would bang". Just keep it where it belongs, people.

    Exactly! This thread should be in General Discussion :D Not fun and games because this isn't fun :(
  • Junken_Diraffe
    Junken_Diraffe Posts: 716 Member
    In for objectification.
  • matt2442
    matt2442 Posts: 1,259 Member
    px2lWRN.gif
  • BurtHuttz
    BurtHuttz Posts: 3,653 Member
    I love to objectify and be objectified.
  • RainHoward
    RainHoward Posts: 1,599 Member
    In for objectification.
    Done
  • My goal is to be eye candy for as many women as possible.
  • Brownsbacker4evr
    Brownsbacker4evr Posts: 365 Member
    I don't think they are harmful. But those types are pretty redundant. I am fine with the fun forums though, so dont get me wrong.
  • hiyomi
    hiyomi Posts: 906 Member
    My goal is to be eye candy for as many women as possible.

    Working out pretty well. :P
  • diodelcibo
    diodelcibo Posts: 2,564 Member
    It's not serious , most 5s etc will get rated a 10.

    ONS x 365

    10/10 would bang, date and marry.
  • TheStephil
    TheStephil Posts: 858 Member
    I think those threads are just for fun. I don't post on them often but getting a positive comment from a random stranger makes you feel good. I don't care if its stroking my ego or looking for compliments. Sometimes people want to feel good about themselves or make other people feel good about them.. or flirt with someone... or objectify... or whatever. It's for fun and no one is getting her.

    I haven't suddenly started objectifying everyone in sight.
  • trojanbb
    trojanbb Posts: 1,297 Member
    Judgements are important and a fact of life. And entertaining.
  • AZ_Gato
    AZ_Gato Posts: 1,270 Member
    I don't know what I should eat for dinner...can you tell me what I should eat?
  • TheStephil
    TheStephil Posts: 858 Member
    My goal is to be eye candy for as many women as possible.

    :laugh:

    Mission accomplished.
  • slkehl
    slkehl Posts: 3,801 Member
    It's not serious , most 5s etc will get rated a 10.

    True dat.
  • Junken_Diraffe
    Junken_Diraffe Posts: 716 Member
    In for objectification.
    Done

    Awww... :flowerforyou:
  • Huffdogg
    Huffdogg Posts: 1,934 Member
    I am technically an object, so I suppose I'm fine with it.
  • MidwestAngel
    MidwestAngel Posts: 1,897 Member
    It's not serious , most 5s etc will get rated a 10.

    ONS x 365

    10/10 would bang, date and marry.
    I'll bring the bacon
  • Huffdogg
    Huffdogg Posts: 1,934 Member
    Where are all the WK's? I'd expect a fully cavalry charge by page 2.
  • Tavysh
    Tavysh Posts: 204 Member
    If there's bacon can I come?
This discussion has been closed.