For those of you that invite others to objectify you:
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My goal is to be eye candy for as many women as possible.
My goal is to keep up with Triceatops! :laugh:0 -
It's silly, and I usually don't partake. I don't really feel the need for that "Boost" but I can see how people could.
It's in chit chat, it's not that serious.
(I'm sure most of those who respond probably won't be the people rating eachother for the most part)0 -
I would be happy with a "bang, date or marry" rating ... I gave up on the threads when they would offer to give me a cookie and take me for a walk
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Sooooooooooo, that's a no to my Kik invite?0
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When you post things like "bang, date, marry?" or "cute, hot, or sexy?" and ask people to objectify you, you are training them to think of everyone around them in those terms. You invite them to make a value judgement of your body, and they begin to make those judgements about others. I speak not just on behalf of women but of everyone on this site. Our culture places way too much value on judgements about people. Is it not enough to just be what you are? Do you have to be "bangable" or "flirty" or have all of these other labels attached to you? And if you do, could you handle that somewhere other than a site for folks who aren't satisfied with their bodies anyways? I realize an ego boost is nice, and I don't mind getting ego boosts every so often, but maybe the place for that is your personal profile or a "hot or not" site.
I can't tell you guys what to post or what to think- the purpose of this post is to invite some discussion about how we create these labels and values for each other and ourselves even as they make us uncomfortable or sad. Many women feel that a "male-dominated culture" has set up these cages of self-judgement for them, but then they go out in pants that say "juicy" across their butts or ask others how hot they are from 1-10. I try really hard to avoid these types of discussions, firstly because beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and secondly because I feel that I have value in and of myself, not just when I'm given a number or a name.
What do you guys think? Do you like it when people tell you you're a certain type of person? Do you like it when people rate you? Do you think others like it when you rate them?
I thought you'd be getting more support in this opinion. Apparently not. Most people just aren't thinking that deeply on the meaning of these shallow games but I hear what you're saying loud and clear and I support you. That being stated, whatever anybody else wants to do is fine with me. It's my choice to participate or not and sometimes I do play the "What's the first word you think of" games, but it gets boring quickly. Simple things entertain simple minds.
It's great that you're thinking about this stuff at a relatively young age. Stay insightful, stay thoughtful.
Agree0 -
who cares0
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I live to be objectified0
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See I reckon you're about an 8 or a 9,
Maybe even 9 and a half in four beers time.
That blue top shop top you've got on IS nice,
Bit too much fake tan though - but yeah you score high.
But there's just one little thing that really really,
Really really annoying me about you you see,
Yeah yeah like I said you are really fit
But my gosh don't you just know it
I'm not trying to pull you
Even though I would like to
I think you are really fit
You're fit But my gosh don't you know it
@smithaldo - impressive poetry! your're a 10! Bang, Smash, Hot Affair!:laugh:0 -
just want this to appear in my news feed so my mfp pals get join in on the discussion.
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OP, have you read The Beauty Myth by Naomi Wolf? I think you'd like. I came across a bit of it today and while not exactly what you are saying here, I just get the sense you'd like it.
Here's one: “Sadly, the signals that allow men and women to find the partners who most please them are scrambled by the sexual insecurity initiated by beauty thinking. A woman who is self-conscious can't relax to let her sensuality come into play. If she is hungry she will be tense. If she is "done up" she will be on the alert for her reflection in his eyes. If she is ashamed of her body, its movement will be stilled. If she does not feel entitled to claim attention, she will not demand that airspace to shine in. If his field of vision has been boxed in by "beauty"--a box continually shrinking--he simply will not see her, his real love, standing right before him.”
Here's another: "Women could probably be trained quite easily to see men first as sexual things. If girls never experienced sexual violence; if a girl's only window on male sexuality were a stream of easily available, well-lit, cheap images of boys slightly older than herself, in their late teens, smiling encouragingly and revealing cuddly erect penises the color of roses or mocha, she might well look at, *kitten* to, and, as an adult, "need" beauty pornography based on the bodies of men. And if those initiating penises were represented to the girl as pneumatically erectible, swerving neither left nor right, tasting of cinnamon or forest berries, innocent of random hairs, and ever ready; if they were presented alongside their measurements, length, and circumference to the quarter inch; if they seemed to be available to her with no troublesome personality attached; if her sweet pleasure seemed to be the only reason for them to exist--then a real young man would probably approach the young woman's bed with, to say the least, a failing heart.”
Regarding those threads: I just think they are so dumb I never go there. But I do get pissy every time I see Diodelcibo posting new pics of his abs and NOT accepting my FR. I like his abs. Does this make me a hypocrite????
That's a hell of a post.0 -
just want this to appear in my news feed so my mfp pals get join in on the discussion.
Love the O's bummed I missed opening weekend at the Yard0 -
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You're absolutely right. Your point is a good and valid one, regardless of what forum it's posted in.0
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When you post things like "bang, date, marry?" or "cute, hot, or sexy?" and ask people to objectify you, you are training them to think of everyone around them in those terms. You invite them to make a value judgement of your body, and they begin to make those judgements about others. I speak not just on behalf of women but of everyone on this site. Our culture places way too much value on judgements about people. Is it not enough to just be what you are? Do you have to be "bangable" or "flirty" or have all of these other labels attached to you? And if you do, could you handle that somewhere other than a site for folks who aren't satisfied with their bodies anyways? I realize an ego boost is nice, and I don't mind getting ego boosts every so often, but maybe the place for that is your personal profile or a "hot or not" site.
I can't tell you guys what to post or what to think- the purpose of this post is to invite some discussion about how we create these labels and values for each other and ourselves even as they make us uncomfortable or sad. Many women feel that a "male-dominated culture" has set up these cages of self-judgement for them, but then they go out in pants that say "juicy" across their butts or ask others how hot they are from 1-10. I try really hard to avoid these types of discussions, firstly because beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and secondly because I feel that I have value in and of myself, not just when I'm given a number or a name.
What do you guys think? Do you like it when people tell you you're a certain type of person? Do you like it when people rate you? Do you think others like it when you rate them?
I do get where you're coming from and I agree. You are certainly bucking the mainstream culture. Good for you! Most people your age just go along with it.0 -
When you post things like "bang, date, marry?" or "cute, hot, or sexy?" and ask people to objectify you, you are training them to think of everyone around them in those terms. You invite them to make a value judgement of your body, and they begin to make those judgements about others. I speak not just on behalf of women but of everyone on this site. Our culture places way too much value on judgements about people. Is it not enough to just be what you are? Do you have to be "bangable" or "flirty" or have all of these other labels attached to you? And if you do, could you handle that somewhere other than a site for folks who aren't satisfied with their bodies anyways? I realize an ego boost is nice, and I don't mind getting ego boosts every so often, but maybe the place for that is your personal profile or a "hot or not" site.
I can't tell you guys what to post or what to think- the purpose of this post is to invite some discussion about how we create these labels and values for each other and ourselves even as they make us uncomfortable or sad. Many women feel that a "male-dominated culture" has set up these cages of self-judgement for them, but then they go out in pants that say "juicy" across their butts or ask others how hot they are from 1-10. I try really hard to avoid these types of discussions, firstly because beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and secondly because I feel that I have value in and of myself, not just when I'm given a number or a name.
What do you guys think? Do you like it when people tell you you're a certain type of person? Do you like it when people rate you? Do you think others like it when you rate them?
I thought you'd be getting more support in this opinion. Apparently not. Most people just aren't thinking that deeply on the meaning of these shallow games but I hear what you're saying loud and clear and I support you. That being stated, whatever anybody else wants to do is fine with me. It's my choice to participate or not and sometimes I do play the "What's the first word you think of" games, but it gets boring quickly. Simple things entertain simple minds. It's great that you're thinking about this stuff at a relatively young age. Stay insightful, stay thoughtful.
Or...Or...maybe a range of complexities and just wanting to have a little mindless entertainment now and again. You don't have to be simple minded to enjoy simple entertainment.0 -
I give you a 6 out of 10
wouldn't date
would bang
Ugh! I give you a Roger Ebert thumbs down.0 -
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OP have you read The Female Eunoch? It's a good read. I found it to be very insightful on why some women think the way they do. It actually helped me realize women need to loosen up more. I didn't agree with the whole book, but as I say; insightful.0
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See I reckon you're about an 8 or a 9,
Maybe even 9 and a half in four beers time.
That blue top shop top you've got on IS nice,
Bit too much fake tan though - but yeah you score high.
But there's just one little thing that really really,
Really really annoying me about you you see,
Yeah yeah like I said you are really fit
But my gosh don't you just know it
I'm not trying to pull you
Even though I would like to
I think you are really fit
You're fit But my gosh don't you know it
@smithaldo - impressive poetry! your're a 10! Bang, Smash, Hot Affair!:laugh:
Oh it's on
you guys getting all flirty with each other is a 9. Would bang. 0 -
there are really worst things out there... most people choose to participate, and that's their own prerogative. "chit-chat, fun and games"
I see your deeper point, I do, but it's not being forced on anyone, everyone's old and wise enough to participate in these silly games if they want.0 -
See I reckon you're about an 8 or a 9,
Maybe even 9 and a half in four beers time.
That blue top shop top you've got on IS nice,
Bit too much fake tan though - but yeah you score high.
But there's just one little thing that really really,
Really really annoying me about you you see,
Yeah yeah like I said you are really fit
But my gosh don't you just know it
I'm not trying to pull you
Even though I would like to
I think you are really fit
You're fit But my gosh don't you know it
@smithaldo - impressive poetry! your're a 10! Bang, Smash, Hot Affair!:laugh:
Oh it's on
you guys getting all flirty with each other is a 9. Would bang.
The guy is quoting a song btw! - www.youtube.com/watch?v=64gvmHKWaWc0 -
OP have you read The Female Eunoch? It's a good read. I found it to be very insightful on why some women think the way they do. It actually helped me realize women need to loosen up more. I didn't agree with the whole book, but as I say; insightful.
I had totally thought this was a stab at me for getting all geeky, but then I looked it up and it's a real book. Huh. I love geeks. Has anyone here read ****? I haven't. But I keep meaning to. Is it any good?0 -
Don't let these folks get you down... you have made some great points. I applaud you for being young and realizing it's not all about the outside. And don't worry, we'll see what some of these folks who have lost tons of weight and are feeling so full of themselves and think it's cool to put down your post - look like this time next year or so. Bet half of them will be back the size they were or weigh more than they did before.. We'll see how much they'll want to be "objectified" then.0
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Don't let these folks get you down... you have made some great points. I applaud you for being young and realizing it's not all about the outside. And don't worry, we'll see what some of these folks who have lost tons of weight and are feeling so full of themselves and think it's cool to put down your post - look like this time next year or so. Bet half of them will be back the size they were or weigh more than they did before.. We'll see how much they'll want to be "objectified" then.
Sounds like that would make you very happy and satisfied. Nice.0 -
Don't let these folks get you down... you have made some great points. I applaud you for being young and realizing it's not all about the outside. And don't worry, we'll see what some of these folks who have lost tons of weight and are feeling so full of themselves and think it's cool to put down your post - look like this time next year or so. Bet half of them will be back the size they were or weigh more than they did before.. We'll see how much they'll want to be "objectified" then.
yeah, so instead you're going to be negative towards everyone else... bit hypocritical ?0 -
Don't let these folks get you down... you have made some great points. I applaud you for being young and realizing it's not all about the outside. And don't worry, we'll see what some of these folks who have lost tons of weight and are feeling so full of themselves and think it's cool to put down your post - look like this time next year or so. Bet half of them will be back the size they were or weigh more than they did before.. We'll see how much they'll want to be "objectified" then.
WHOA.
Haters gonna hate.
Wait?!? Wasn't I one of the ones who kinda supported OP? Yeah. But I'm skinny, too! Oh noes! And, yes, sometimes I like to be objectified (of course in the right context and what not)...but this was a really weird post...full of negativity and seething towards people who have achieved their goals and worked bloody hard to get there.....
body shaming and fat bashing es no bueno!0 -
I don't participate in those threads. Mostly because I don't value other people's opinions of my appearance...or just other people's opinions in general.0
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I like it best when people like me for the way I think. I am able to cultivate my mind. What I look like is an accident of the combined genetics of my parents. I can't be proud of that.0
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OP have you read The Female Eunoch? It's a good read. I found it to be very insightful on why some women think the way they do. It actually helped me realize women need to loosen up more. I didn't agree with the whole book, but as I say; insightful.
I had totally thought this was a stab at me for getting all geeky, but then I looked it up and it's a real book. Huh. I love geeks. Has anyone here read ****? I haven't. But I keep meaning to. Is it any good?
No, actually, I read your post and liked it
Not a stab at you at all. But I do like to read and be silly, too. At first I was looking at those "objectifying" threads thinking I'd have a good laugh if someone said something insulting to someone (shame on me), but they never do and I realized they're having a blast. So was "lurkin'"
As for that book, I enjoyed it. It goes really deep into what makes us women tick and how society has "programmed" us to think the way we do over the centuries. It definitely covers men's perception of women and the whole feminist revolution... lol pretty deep. It's been a while since I read it, but I still got that sucker.
eta: I'd check it out at a library or something. I'm not sure just how geeky you are or if you'd actually like to read something like that. Even thumbing through it could be enlightening.0
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