For those of you that invite others to objectify you:

Admiral_Derp

I thought most people grew out of compartmentalising or rating people according to their looks by the end of high school... :huh:

As a wiser woman said earlier in the thread, "simple things for simple minds". Everyone's free to think with their genitals, compare **** length and swoon over "forum hotties" (who can say if their avatars are truly pictures of them...?) in exactly the same way as others are free to not participate/laugh at the threads and those who take them seriously elsewhere.

Now I'll sit back and wait for the "-1, wouldn't date, wouldn't bang" type replies.

I agree with you that those forums are indeed ridiculous. Especially since it just seems to be the same 20 people over and over again saying they'd bang each other.

Where I disagree is that alot of very intelligent people did come on to this site not only to improve their health but also to improve their physical appearance. I think most of us would be lying if we said that we didn't enjoy being found attractive by other people. I don't that enjoying a compliment about one's physical appearance is simple minded and I don't think that giving someone a compliment is objectification.

Lookin good Cros...you big hunka man meat.

Capt_Apollo

8, would bang

Velum_cado

I agree with your point, OP, but if someone is at a point in their life where that is how they need to seek validation I can be respectful of that.

twelfty

what is funny is that some of the people who are saying stuff like it's terrible! and sad! have been involved in said threads.... so..... yeah.....

Oh_Allie

I agree with your point, OP, but if someone is at a point in their life where that is how they need to seek validation I can be respectful of that.

I honestly don't think this was intended to be disrespectful, but it really is. This is a back-handed compliment version of saying you accept how others want to be validated.


Also (and this is not directed at the quoted person above in any way), we've all dealt with some sort of shaming in our lives, especially as fat people. There's no reason to shame someone for having a little bit of fun. It's been stated over and over again that these threads are just a good laugh and all in good fun. That people aren't being rated low, etc. Honestly, I've never posted in one of those threads, but it's not because I don't agree with them or think that whoever participates is "small-minded". Having fun on a forum does not equate to lack of intelligence.

It's not objectification, it's a little bit of fun and there's no harm in that. Lighten up, have a few laughs. You've all worked hard and you've earned it.

camillaiae

When you post things like "bang, date, marry?" or "cute, hot, or sexy?" and ask people to objectify you, you are training them to think of everyone around them in those terms. You invite them to make a value judgement of your body, and they begin to make those judgements about others. I speak not just on behalf of women but of everyone on this site. Our culture places way too much value on judgements about people. Is it not enough to just be what you are? Do you have to be "bangable" or "flirty" or have all of these other labels attached to you? And if you do, could you handle that somewhere other than a site for folks who aren't satisfied with their bodies anyways? I realize an ego boost is nice, and I don't mind getting ego boosts every so often, but maybe the place for that is your personal profile or a "hot or not" site.

I can't tell you guys what to post or what to think- the purpose of this post is to invite some discussion about how we create these labels and values for each other and ourselves even as they make us uncomfortable or sad. Many women feel that a "male-dominated culture" has set up these cages of self-judgement for them, but then they go out in pants that say "juicy" across their butts or ask others how hot they are from 1-10. I try really hard to avoid these types of discussions, firstly because beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and secondly because I feel that I have value in and of myself, not just when I'm given a number or a name.

What do you guys think? Do you like it when people tell you you're a certain type of person? Do you like it when people rate you? Do you think others like it when you rate them?

I think your absolutely right, well put. As for most of the reactions, they are textbook: people (mostly men) belitling the question, women getting angry because they in particular don't feel they suffer from this culture (they do) and a lot of "it's all just fun and games what's the harm?".

TheRoadDog

Bang. Doggie style. Like a screen door in a hurricane.

FitnessCharl

Bang, bang.....

On the door baby!! Ooo sorry what's this thread about?

glovepuppet

When you post things like "bang, date, marry?" or "cute, hot, or sexy?" and ask people to objectify you, you are training them to think of everyone around them in those terms. You invite them to make a value judgement of your body, and they begin to make those judgements about others. I speak not just on behalf of women but of everyone on this site. Our culture places way too much value on judgements about people. Is it not enough to just be what you are? Do you have to be "bangable" or "flirty" or have all of these other labels attached to you? And if you do, could you handle that somewhere other than a site for folks who aren't satisfied with their bodies anyways? I realize an ego boost is nice, and I don't mind getting ego boosts every so often, but maybe the place for that is your personal profile or a "hot or not" site.

I can't tell you guys what to post or what to think- the purpose of this post is to invite some discussion about how we create these labels and values for each other and ourselves even as they make us uncomfortable or sad. Many women feel that a "male-dominated culture" has set up these cages of self-judgement for them, but then they go out in pants that say "juicy" across their butts or ask others how hot they are from 1-10. I try really hard to avoid these types of discussions, firstly because beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and secondly because I feel that I have value in and of myself, not just when I'm given a number or a name.

What do you guys think? Do you like it when people tell you you're a certain type of person? Do you like it when people rate you? Do you think others like it when you rate them?

i think you're absolutely right, but i'm a good decade beyond caring that everyone else is happy to join in that game. as long as i get left alone i'll ignore it.

NutellaAddict

Would bang, if she didn't talk so much.

BurtHuttz

I think your absolutely right, well put. As for most of the reactions, they are textbook: people (mostly men) belitling the question, women getting angry because they in particular don't feel they suffer from this culture (they do) and a lot of "it's all just fun and games what's the harm?".

That wasn't a question, that was a sermon.

ArroganceInStep

With all of the truly horrible things that go on in the world, from sex trafficking of minors to genocide to Justin Beiber, I really think that trying to link a couple of obvious flirt threads in a fun and games section of an online forum to the overarching objectification of women and general bias against the obese or ugly in Western culture is a waste of time.

jonnythan

I am astonished and ashamed at how grown adults in this thread have taken to attacking, insulting, and belittling the OP with their awful comments.

This is completely pathetic.

ArroganceInStep

I am astonished and ashamed at how grown adults in this thread have taken to attacking, insulting, and belittling the OP with their awful comments.

This is completely pathetic.

lol

eric_sg61

Woman's Studies major?

This^ with too much time with a bong. I have heard these kinds of ramblings back in the 90's at Phish concerts.

glovepuppet

I am astonished and ashamed at how grown adults in this thread have taken to attacking, insulting, and belittling the OP with their awful comments.

This is completely pathetic.

if it surprises you then you must be very naive.

n8dawg77

My goal is to be eye candy for as many women as possible.

story of my life bro!!!

dbrightwell1270

I speak not just on behalf of women but of everyone on this site.

I'm pretty sure you don't.

n8dawg77

I like sex

oh wait, did you say we SHOULDN'T objectify ourselves?

S**t.

Also, I think OP just needs to get laid. Someone volunteer. Some extra cardio for the day...

Willing to take one for the team... I've got about 4 minutes before lunch!

AlsDonkBoxSquat

Hum, I don't participate in the posts, but I regularly objectify the men around me and I sometimes choose not to wear a tent or a birkka. Sometimes I even wear a tight piece of clothing, a shirt that isn't a turtle neck, a short skirt with high heels, pose for pictures to show off my progress, a bathing suit to the beach, and I top off that naughty cake with my drindle. It seems I've been a very very naughty girl, this may even deserve a spanking.

VeroniqueBoilard

I just read the first two pages but I'm going to say this: I also think those thread are unhealthy but since people are willing participants, nothing we can do.

But the fact that people (mostly man) started giving you ratings and categorized you when you clearly express your discomfort and DID NOT choose to participate in those game is exactly the reason why you post in the first place.

People then reduce your reflexion and ideas to a "no-fun, debbie-downer, annoying" girl. You can disagree with someone and not threat them like they are dumb half-wit, especially when I doubt anyone here spend a lot of time reading or educating themselves on the subject of objectification or beauty.

I'm sorry people can't express their disagreement without condescension... :S


Edit to add: I'm not a Women studies major, I'm a lawyer in training. But in my Women rights class 25% of the class were men who constantly raised their hand in disbelief or even to apologize... Sometimes it's hard to see ones privilege like being white vs minorities or men vs women.

FitnessCharl

With all of the truly horrible things that go on in the world, from sex trafficking of minors to genocide to Justin Beiber, I really think that trying to link a couple of obvious flirt threads in a fun and games section of an online forum to the overarching objectification of women and general bias against the obese or ugly in Western culture is a waste of time.

Love that you chucked in a bit of Beiber.....Hate that little man child

jonnythan

I just read the first two pages but I'm going to say this: I also think those thread are unhealthy but since people are willing participants, nothing we can do.

But the fact that people (mostly man) started giving you ratings and categorized you when you clearly express your discomfort and DID NOT choose to participate in those game is exactly the reason why you post in the first place.

People then reduce your reflexion and ideas to a "no-fun, debbie-downer, annoying" girl. You can disagree with someone and not threat them like they are dumb half-wit, especially when I doubt anyone here spend a lot of time reading or educating themselves on the subject of objectification or beauty.

I'm sorry people can't express their disagreement without condescension... :S

People need to believe that their opinions are worthwhile and that they're good people. When someone criticizes or attacks those beliefs, they lash out.. and that's how you get those sorts of responses in this thread.

RushBabe214

Woman's Studies major?

This.

glovepuppet

I just read the first two pages but I'm going to say this: I also think those thread are unhealthy but since people are willing participants, nothing we can do.

But the fact that people (mostly man) started giving you ratings and categorized you when you clearly express your discomfort and DID NOT choose to participate in those game is exactly the reason why you post in the first place.

People then reduce your reflexion and ideas to a "no-fun, debbie-downer, annoying" girl. You can disagree with someone and not threat them like they are dumb half-wit, especially when I doubt anyone here spend a lot of time reading or educating themselves on the subject of objectification or beauty.

I'm sorry people can't express their disagreement without condescension... :S

low grade sexual harassment as punishment for voicing an opinion. meh, it's entirely predictable.
at the instigation of some woman, some dude offers to bang her into being more fun. predictable, again.

still, i expect she could get a paper out of this thread.

ArroganceInStep

I just read the first two pages but I'm going to say this: I also think those thread are unhealthy but since people are willing participants, nothing we can do.

But the fact that people (mostly man) started giving you ratings and categorized you when you clearly express your discomfort and DID NOT choose to participate in those game is exactly the reason why you post in the first place.

People then reduce your reflexion and ideas to a "no-fun, debbie-downer, annoying" girl. You can disagree with someone and not threat them like they are dumb half-wit, especially when I doubt anyone here spend a lot of time reading or educating themselves on the subject of objectification or beauty.

I'm sorry people can't express their disagreement without condescension... :S

People need to believe that their opinions are worthwhile and that they're good people. When someone criticizes or attacks those beliefs, they lash out.. and that's how you get those sorts of responses in this thread.

'People' also need tougher skin when it comes to teasing and not take crap so seriously.

yksdoris

I am astonished and ashamed at how grown adults in this thread have taken to attacking, insulting, and belittling the OP with their awful comments.

This is completely pathetic.

this. and that they do it "because it's all chit-chat, fun and games"

as for me, meh. people can do whatever they want so long as it's consensual and doesn't hurt other people. Therefore as I don't like objectification, I don't post into those threads and when stuff like "ur hot, wanna come talk to me afterwards about... um.. work" is said to me, I get insulted. The answer is point blank "no." and you BETTER not be offended by it because believe me, the "no." was me being polite. (seriously, for the first time in the 3 years I've been going to my gym, that happened last week)

myofibril

People need to believe that their opinions are worthwhile and that they're good people. When someone criticizes or attacks those beliefs, they lash out.. and that's how you get those sorts of responses in this thread.

Cognitive dissonance at its finest...

VeroniqueBoilard

People need to believe that their opinions are worthwhile and that they're good people. When someone criticizes or attacks those beliefs, they lash out.. and that's how you get those sorts of responses in this thread.

True.

glovepuppet

'People' also need tougher skin when it comes to teasing and not take crap so seriously.

classic playground justification.