For those of you that invite others to objectify you:

myofibril

swoon over "forum hotties" (who can say if their avatars are truly pictures of them...?)

http://bit.ly/Jl8ueB

SerenaFisher

swoon over "forum hotties" (who can say if their avatars are truly pictures of them...?)

http://bit.ly/Jl8ueB

I steal mine from Facebook.

Cr01502

I thought most people grew out of compartmentalising or rating people according to their looks by the end of high school... :huh:

As a wiser woman said earlier in the thread, "simple things for simple minds". Everyone's free to think with their genitals, compare **** length and swoon over "forum hotties" (who can say if their avatars are truly pictures of them...?) in exactly the same way as others are free to not participate/laugh at the threads and those who take them seriously elsewhere.

Now I'll sit back and wait for the "-1, wouldn't date, wouldn't bang" type replies.

I agree with you that those forums are indeed ridiculous. Especially since it just seems to be the same 20 people over and over again saying they'd bang each other.

Where I disagree is that alot of very intelligent people did come on to this site not only to improve their health but also to improve their physical appearance. I think most of us would be lying if we said that we didn't enjoy being found attractive by other people. I don't that enjoying a compliment about one's physical appearance is simple minded and I don't think that giving someone a compliment is objectification.

pinkraynedropjacki

Fully agree with the OP. I never enter those type for that reason, I have a hard enough time accepting my own body most days even though I know I'm ok. I don't need some damn stranger telling me that I am not worthy of anything. Stuff that. I got pride in myself.

amyjax

I thought most people grew out of compartmentalising or rating people according to their looks by the end of high school... :huh:

As a wiser woman said earlier in the thread, "simple things for simple minds". Everyone's free to think with their genitals, compare **** length and swoon over "forum hotties" (who can say if their avatars are truly pictures of them...?) in exactly the same way as others are free to not participate/laugh at the threads and those who take them seriously elsewhere.

Now I'll sit back and wait for the "-1, wouldn't date, wouldn't bang" type replies.

I agree with you that those forums are indeed ridiculous. Especially since it just seems to be the same 20 people over and over again saying they'd bang each other.

Where I disagree is that alot of very intelligent people did come on to this site not only to improve their health but also to improve their physical appearance. I think most of us would be lying if we said that we didn't enjoy being found attractive by other people. I don't that enjoying a compliment about one's physical appearance is simple minded and I don't think that giving someone a compliment is objectification.

I don't think I said that giving someone a compliment = objectifying them. Of course we all love compliments and how they make us feel good about ourselves; we want to feel wanted, that's natural. We can easily compliment someone without reducing them to what we want to do to their body/genitals, though, and I think that's the point the OP was trying to make when she posted this thread. The rate/date/bang threads are entirely about reducing people to whether they make your penis twitch or not, surely there's more to giving each other compliments than that? For those who have low self-esteem, isn't being reduced to whether we're sexually desirable or not only going to perpetuate the myth that our self-esteem and desirability depends upon how hot some stranger on the internet thinks we are?

SerenaFisher

I thought most people grew out of compartmentalising or rating people according to their looks by the end of high school... :huh:

As a wiser woman said earlier in the thread, "simple things for simple minds". Everyone's free to think with their genitals, compare **** length and swoon over "forum hotties" (who can say if their avatars are truly pictures of them...?) in exactly the same way as others are free to not participate/laugh at the threads and those who take them seriously elsewhere.

Now I'll sit back and wait for the "-1, wouldn't date, wouldn't bang" type replies.

I agree with you that those forums are indeed ridiculous. Especially since it just seems to be the same 20 people over and over again saying they'd bang each other.

Where I disagree is that alot of very intelligent people did come on to this site not only to improve their health but also to improve their physical appearance. I think most of us would be lying if we said that we didn't enjoy being found attractive by other people. I don't that enjoying a compliment about one's physical appearance is simple minded and I don't think that giving someone a compliment is objectification.

Yet you that are above "objectification" like to judge those that do attend these threads, in fact some make it out like those that do are less intelligent, in desperate need for acceptance or "fake"... yeah you stopped lumping people in "groups" after highschool... clearly :laugh: if I wasn't on my cell and annoyed with the touch screen I would say a lot more! But this took ten minutes as it is. Hypocritical....bs.

Cr01502

I don't think I said that giving someone a compliment = objectifying them. Of course we all love compliments and how they make us feel good about ourselves; we want to feel wanted, that's natural. We can easily compliment someone without reducing them to what we want to do to their body/genitals, though, and I think that's the point the OP was trying to make when she posted this thread. The rate/date/bang threads are entirely about reducing people to whether they make your penis twitch or not, surely there's more to giving each other compliments than that? For those who have low self-esteem, isn't being reduced to whether we're sexually desirable or not only going to perpetuate the myth that our self-esteem and desirability depends upon how hot some stranger on the internet thinks we are?

I think that is entirely up to the person receiving the compliment to make the decision as to whether or not they feel objectified. Not you or the OP.

The OP may not like a "compliment" in such a crude manner but it's not for her to start a thread criticising other people that don't find it offensive. We are all adults on this site and therefore are able to determine what compliments are offensive and what aren't.

PaleoChocolateBear

I thought most people grew out of compartmentalising or rating people according to their looks by the end of high school... :huh:

As a wiser woman said earlier in the thread, "simple things for simple minds". Everyone's free to think with their genitals, compare **** length and swoon over "forum hotties" (who can say if their avatars are truly pictures of them...?) in exactly the same way as others are free to not participate/laugh at the threads and those who take them seriously elsewhere.

Now I'll sit back and wait for the "-1, wouldn't date, wouldn't bang" type replies.

If you think rating people by looks stops after high school you've never been in the business world. People who look better normally get more job more promotions etc etc etc. Most executives who are males are over 6'3" people who are thinner get hired more often people see people who are overweight and they assume they are lazy. Sorry but the world the cruel and everything that went on in high school happens out in the real world only difference is most people have learned how to be much more subtle about it.

myofibril

If you think rating people by looks stops after high school you've never been in the business world. People who look better normally get more job more promotions etc etc etc. Most executives who are males are over 6'3" people who are thinner get hired more often people see people who are overweight and they assume they are lazy. Sorry but the world the cruel and everything that went on in high school happens out in the real world only difference is most people have learned how to be much more subtle about it.

Unfortunately this is true. It is a manifestation of the "Halo Effect" which is an attribution fallacy.

What is beautiful is good ~ http://www4.uwsp.edu/psych/s/389/dion72.pdf

amyjax

If you think rating people by looks stops after high school you've never been in the business world. People who look better normally get more job more promotions etc etc etc. Most executives who are males are over 6'3" people who are thinner get hired more often people see people who are overweight and they assume they are lazy. Sorry but the world the cruel and everything that went on in high school happens out in the real world only difference is most people have learned how to be much more subtle about it.

Unfortunately this is true. It is a manifestation of the "Halo Effect" which is an attribution fallacy.

What is beautiful is good ~ http://www4.uwsp.edu/psych/s/389/dion72.pdf

The paper makes for some interesting reading, or at least I think it does given I've just had time to skim it. Bookmarking it for later, thanks for posting.

Admiral_Derp

I thought most people grew out of compartmentalising or rating people according to their looks by the end of high school... :huh:

As a wiser woman said earlier in the thread, "simple things for simple minds". Everyone's free to think with their genitals, compare **** length and swoon over "forum hotties" (who can say if their avatars are truly pictures of them...?) in exactly the same way as others are free to not participate/laugh at the threads and those who take them seriously elsewhere.

Now I'll sit back and wait for the "-1, wouldn't date, wouldn't bang" type replies.

I agree with you that those forums are indeed ridiculous. Especially since it just seems to be the same 20 people over and over again saying they'd bang each other.

Where I disagree is that alot of very intelligent people did come on to this site not only to improve their health but also to improve their physical appearance. I think most of us would be lying if we said that we didn't enjoy being found attractive by other people. I don't that enjoying a compliment about one's physical appearance is simple minded and I don't think that giving someone a compliment is objectification.

Lookin good Cros...you big hunka man meat.

Capt_Apollo

8, would bang

Velum_cado

I agree with your point, OP, but if someone is at a point in their life where that is how they need to seek validation I can be respectful of that.

twelfty

what is funny is that some of the people who are saying stuff like it's terrible! and sad! have been involved in said threads.... so..... yeah.....

Oh_Allie

I agree with your point, OP, but if someone is at a point in their life where that is how they need to seek validation I can be respectful of that.

I honestly don't think this was intended to be disrespectful, but it really is. This is a back-handed compliment version of saying you accept how others want to be validated.


Also (and this is not directed at the quoted person above in any way), we've all dealt with some sort of shaming in our lives, especially as fat people. There's no reason to shame someone for having a little bit of fun. It's been stated over and over again that these threads are just a good laugh and all in good fun. That people aren't being rated low, etc. Honestly, I've never posted in one of those threads, but it's not because I don't agree with them or think that whoever participates is "small-minded". Having fun on a forum does not equate to lack of intelligence.

It's not objectification, it's a little bit of fun and there's no harm in that. Lighten up, have a few laughs. You've all worked hard and you've earned it.

camillaiae

When you post things like "bang, date, marry?" or "cute, hot, or sexy?" and ask people to objectify you, you are training them to think of everyone around them in those terms. You invite them to make a value judgement of your body, and they begin to make those judgements about others. I speak not just on behalf of women but of everyone on this site. Our culture places way too much value on judgements about people. Is it not enough to just be what you are? Do you have to be "bangable" or "flirty" or have all of these other labels attached to you? And if you do, could you handle that somewhere other than a site for folks who aren't satisfied with their bodies anyways? I realize an ego boost is nice, and I don't mind getting ego boosts every so often, but maybe the place for that is your personal profile or a "hot or not" site.

I can't tell you guys what to post or what to think- the purpose of this post is to invite some discussion about how we create these labels and values for each other and ourselves even as they make us uncomfortable or sad. Many women feel that a "male-dominated culture" has set up these cages of self-judgement for them, but then they go out in pants that say "juicy" across their butts or ask others how hot they are from 1-10. I try really hard to avoid these types of discussions, firstly because beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and secondly because I feel that I have value in and of myself, not just when I'm given a number or a name.

What do you guys think? Do you like it when people tell you you're a certain type of person? Do you like it when people rate you? Do you think others like it when you rate them?

I think your absolutely right, well put. As for most of the reactions, they are textbook: people (mostly men) belitling the question, women getting angry because they in particular don't feel they suffer from this culture (they do) and a lot of "it's all just fun and games what's the harm?".

TheRoadDog

Bang. Doggie style. Like a screen door in a hurricane.

FitnessCharl

Bang, bang.....

On the door baby!! Ooo sorry what's this thread about?

glovepuppet

When you post things like "bang, date, marry?" or "cute, hot, or sexy?" and ask people to objectify you, you are training them to think of everyone around them in those terms. You invite them to make a value judgement of your body, and they begin to make those judgements about others. I speak not just on behalf of women but of everyone on this site. Our culture places way too much value on judgements about people. Is it not enough to just be what you are? Do you have to be "bangable" or "flirty" or have all of these other labels attached to you? And if you do, could you handle that somewhere other than a site for folks who aren't satisfied with their bodies anyways? I realize an ego boost is nice, and I don't mind getting ego boosts every so often, but maybe the place for that is your personal profile or a "hot or not" site.

I can't tell you guys what to post or what to think- the purpose of this post is to invite some discussion about how we create these labels and values for each other and ourselves even as they make us uncomfortable or sad. Many women feel that a "male-dominated culture" has set up these cages of self-judgement for them, but then they go out in pants that say "juicy" across their butts or ask others how hot they are from 1-10. I try really hard to avoid these types of discussions, firstly because beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and secondly because I feel that I have value in and of myself, not just when I'm given a number or a name.

What do you guys think? Do you like it when people tell you you're a certain type of person? Do you like it when people rate you? Do you think others like it when you rate them?

i think you're absolutely right, but i'm a good decade beyond caring that everyone else is happy to join in that game. as long as i get left alone i'll ignore it.

NutellaAddict

Would bang, if she didn't talk so much.