support for Binge Eating Disorder

I_Got_This_23

I, too, am quite relieved to see this topic being explored so openly. I actually bought a few books on binge eating, but I have them hidden away so my boyfriend doesn't see them. Although I don't doubt he has a clue. He has seen me in one of my binges. It always made me cringe when people would say, "Wow! You must have been HUNGRY!" right after I'd consumed a gynormous meal. Yeah, that's when I started binging alone, or with other bingers.
I remember the day I discovered that I was a binger (vs an overeater). I was in college, moving from one apartment to another, and I had just discovered that I turned my electricity off in my old apartment a few days too early. Food was still in the fridge and freezer, and it was ROTTED. I had a whole day of cleaning ahead of me, in an apartment with no electricity, and I was beyond stressed. I decided to "grab some lunch" before I tackled this job. So I went to Subway and got a 6-in sub, went to McDonald's and got a Big Mac and fries, and went to Arby's for a beef n' cheddar and curly fries. And I brought it home and ate the whole thing. I remember being surrounded with empty food wrappers and thinking, "What the hell did I just do?" That is what made me decide to start doing some research. Although I've yet to seek therapy, the research I've conducted has led to me to believe that I'm a binger.
While I still binge occassionally, recognizing the behavior has helped me control it. I can no longer excuse it by telling myself that I skipped lunch or worked out really hard. I know a binge when it's happening. One thing I've done that has made a big difference is identifying my binge foods, and trying to keep them out of the house when possible. My binge foods are rice and rice noodles (I'm Asian, so these are the comfort foods of my childhood), so now I only buy buckwheat noodles (not the same binge appeal), and either brown rice or microwavable rice in those 2 serving packages. By the time I think about going to to the store to buy my binge foods, often times the urge to binge will pass.
I also made a binge worksheet. It's a one page questionaire that I make myself fill out before every binge. I have to record how hungry I REALLY am on a scale of 1-10, am I feeling stressed and why, what did I last eat and when, and how do I think I'll feel after the binge. More often that not, I found other ways to relieve my stress.

Behavior_Modification

Those are great strategies jhall1218.

funnygirl0940

Do you really want freedom from this? Read my story

Well girls...I suffered w/bulimia for 7 years. Struggled w/weight & self esteem issues as a young girl( beginning in the 2nd grade), even starved myself for a few days in jr high...my mother & grandmother stopped me...and into high school and my twenties I struggled. In my mid 20's I watched a news program about eating disorders. I thought, hmm, if I did it(binged & purged) just to lose weight and then I'd stop...I was clueless about how my body worked. I became addicted.

Let me share with you a few of my reality moments:

1st reality moment: I'd been to a counseling clinic, a psychologist on a regular basis, a psychiatrist for both counseling and meds, and had been treated by my family doctor who was wanting me to go back to a counselor. That day I was rock bottom. I called my husband home from work, who came to my bedside as I cried for 2 hours. He didn't know what to say. Finally, he told me this. I had to take every thought captive and bring them into submission to the Word of God(Holy Bible). I had the power to turn the channel in my head. I have the ability to control what I think. I had to start believing what God thinks about me and throw out the lies that Satan wanted me to believe. All the lies that I wasn't good enough, wasn't pretty enough, wasn't thin enough. Whatever the lies were. I had to realize that if it was negative towards me and not true then I had to throw it out of my head!

Then, my husband made me stand in front of a mirror and tell myself that I was pretty. Bless his heart

2nd reality moment: Sept 11, 2001...I stood in front of the mirror naked and my life flashed before me. I thought, "Oh, it doesn't matter how much I weigh or what my hair looks like...I'm here for God's glory."

3rd reality moment: It was a process...but I can share with you that on the day that I had my final reality moment, I realized that God had a plan and purpose for my life, and satan wanted me dead and I was killing myself by doing this to myself. I couldn't accomplish God's plan & purpose for my life with the addiction. I was furiously angry!!!

Now, within a few months of completely giving it up...I was tempted a few times after that but I'd quickly remind myself that satan wanted me dead and I couldn't accomplish what God had for me. I'd get so mad!!!! I'd get furious and say, "NO!"

My husband watched the very first Discovery Health Body Challenge in 2001. We watched the program and applied what we learned. It was count calories, eat low fat and exercise...within 12 weeks I lost 40 pounds! I was in awe. I'd struggled all my life and was able to have the victory, not only over the addiction but my weight!!!

I decided that day that it was all or nothing and I've given it my all. You'd be blown away to know all the things that I've gotten to do because of that moment. I'm just excited thinking about it!!!! Within 3 months I was driving a 6 hour round trip to counsel women with eating disorders at a drug rehab center. The directors told me there wasn't anyone else that would come. I guess not for free ) I think that year of commuting every month solidified it all in me as I had to share with those women. Then the doors started opening even more. I was invited to share my story at a women's conference in Athens, Greece. I shared my story in Colombia. Now I live full time in Mexico!!! I've got to do some BIG things!!! And had I never given it over to God that day, I'd can't even imagine where I'd be today, but it wouldn't be here. I have a wonderful full complete and joyful life!

So what were some of the things I'd teach the ladies at the rehab center?

I said look...you're passionate about being addicted to this. It's bad for you. The bile from your stomach will erode the enamel off of your teeth. You will grow peach fuzz prematurely on your face like an old lady. You run the risk of erupting your esophagus.

You have what it takes to overcome this girls...You've already got it inside of you. With the same passion & drive you have to be addicted to this. Be addicted and passionate for what's going to be beneficial to you!!! The adventure has gotten even more exciting for me in the past year!!! Even today!!! Obsessed?? Be obsessed with what is good for you!! Research ladies. google the info that you need. Find out what foods are good for your body. Be all that you can be!!!

16 months ago, I was 40 years old and I felt like an old lady. I was eating so much processed food and eating out so much that I felt terrible. I had no energy. I still counted calories but the problem was what I was eating. I was inspired, once again, by a program that I'd seen on tv. Google David Murdock's interview w/Oprah. I looked at that clip and was done in! We went and bought a juicer. When he said we don't need supplements because we CAN get our nutrition from food, I was in!

Now I make everything from ketchup to pasta...I even learned how to grind my own whole wheat flour, planted a vegetable/herb garden and got 5 chicks!!!! lol Life is awesome!!! You can do it. Decide today that you're done w/this binge eating and move on to your new, happy, wonderful life!!!

I love food! lol I eat a little too much of it and that's why I'm here.

Last Saturday, I wrote out what I want from myself. Here's my list:

I will weigh 145 lbs by Dec 10th, 2010
Go to bed at 10 p.m
Get up at 7 a.m. coffee/journal/Bible

Workout 5 days a week
Walk Bruno 6 days a week
Ride bike 3 days a week

Not eat after 7 p.m.

Drink 10 glasses of water a day

1200-1400 calories a day
one day 1800 calories ok

Ladies, I'm challenging you! Who do you want to be? What do you want from yourself. Grab it and become it!!! You've got it inside of you. You've already proven you've got the drive...you just need to drive it in the right direction

add me if you want...

Krymsen

Hey!

Tks so much for your post, I have been dealing with this for so long as well! I take it one day at a time and I will reach my goal through God's help as well! I know what I'm doing to my body is slowly killing myself that's why I need to and what to stop you only get one shot at this life and one body so I better look after it or I will lose it!

Melissa

Krymsen

Hey!

screwed up today and binged really bad and the sad thing is I don't even remember all the crap I ate today. It started out with wanting choclate but didn't have any so I binged on every kind of sugar I could find in the house. If I keep this up I will never lose this weight. I feel like locking myself in a room and throwing away the key. Just can't find that balance in my diet and to top it off hubby went and bought a 24 pack of cholates and ate them all around me. Man alive I hate food and the fact I have no self-control. One good thing is I went to the gym and did weights and cardio. Even though I just put it all back on again. Trying not to beat myself up about it and trying to move on.

I still have the rest of the day to make good choices and I will do it.

Melissa

Behavior_Modification

Oh Melissa, sorry to hear you're having a bad day. Doesn't your hubby understand that is torture?

Krymsen

Hey!

He is also a binge eater too, so it does not help. That why I'm looking into getting some help from a counlser I'm on a wait list to get to the bottom of why I turn to food when stressed or for comfort. It really sucks, my goal right know is to try to eat a healthy breakfast and get as much fruit and vegs in and try to cut out the extra sugar in my diet, I eat way to much like sugar cearal and sugar on oatmeal just bad. I'm hoping if I use naturaly sweeted fruit will help cut the sugar fix I hope it works.

Sry about the spelling and tks for caring,
Melissa

funnygirl0940

Dear Krymsen(Melissa),
Hun, I forgot to mention a key element to the whole deal...when giving up something, you've got to replace it. Set up a game plan. You know the situations that trigger it off. Sounds like you came home, were stressed out, possibly hungry and have a very strong sugar addiction. I just posted on another sugar addiction thread...but anyway. Can you do something for yourself tonight that's going to get you to the victory on this? Google side effects of sugar. It's so bad for us! It makes horrible mood swings and instability w/our emotions.

In May, my parents came down for a visit and my dad wanted to make milk shakes, so we started buying ice cream. I gained weight! It's my weakness. I LOVE...did I say I LOVE ice cream??? After their 10 day visit, the ice cream kept coming to my house and guess what? I ate it! It tastes good! And you know what? It messed me up! I had gained weight that make it hard for me to move around, I have 3 herniated discs and I'm limited on some of my activities. Finally, two months ago I told my husband no more! He said I needed to control myself. I said it's not good for us, why bring it in here. Don't bring it home anymore. If you want it, eat it out but don't bring it here. There's no reason for it, it makes my life miserable! So, it's been banished! lol

Then I went from eating ice cream to chowing the cold cereal. Guess what? That's out now too! lol

So, you and your hubby are going to have to be bigger than all of this and recognize that it's going to have to go!

Now, I did replace the ice cream with something good for us!!! It's super yummy and every ounce of it is beneficial to our health and taste buds! :)D I make natural yogurt but plain yogurt from the store w/out sugar will work. I dump 1-2 cups of yogurt in the blender and add 2-4 cups of frozen berries!!! We get lots of fresh berries in our area so I freeze them. THEN, I add 1/2-3/4 cup of local raw honey! It's to die for! Honey is God food. You will acquire a taste for it. If it was all you knew, you'd never have a qualm about it. But you were introduced to sugar and so making a change will take an effort. I bake with it, add it to salad, tea & coffee. It's wonderful! I don't buy it at the local stands because they add corn syrup! YUK!

Please, please, please...make out a game plan. Recognize what sets you off and figure out ahead of time what you're going to do in it's place. After awhile, it all becomes second nature and you think nothing of it. You feel great! Happy and content that you overcame it! I guarantee it! If I can do it, you can too!

You're going to be a success!!!! Decide to be a success right now!

Krymsen

Thank you thank you thank you!

I can not have any type of sugar in the house I tried honey and I ate the whole bottle in a week. I'm keeping my diet pop and I love chocolate so I'm going buy those Jello choclate pudding cups. I would treat myself once a day after the kids are in bed it gave me something to look forward to so I'm going to try that again. And only have 1-2 cans a pop a day. I have been learning what has set me off and I'm learning from every binge. Today I waited to long between meals and I was way to hungry. So I will eat smaller meals every 2-4 hours I find that has helped.

Tks,
Melissa

Krymsen

Hey!

I feel so great, I did it no binging today and no extra sugar and the good thing is I don't miss it. What has really helped is saying to myself not right know maybe later. Tks to who every said this sry I cann't remember who said it but tks! And telling myself I'm worth it and I desire it! Tks for all the surport this is a new life for me. Yes it is going to be hard and I will split up once in a while but I can I can do this. I'm going to do this.

Tks tomorrow will be good to!

Melissa

Behavior_Modification

Great job Mel! I also had a binge free day yesterday, but I attribute it to going to bed right when I got home from work because of a headache. Monday night was a bad binge night and I ended up consuming several 100 calories late at night and then just went to bed at 10pm cuz I couldn't get myself to stop shoving food in. I was searching the cupboards for junk food. Luckily there wasn't any but that didn't stop me from shoving in pretzels, grapes, yogurt, cheese, oh geez I don't even know what else now. Today I'm doing good so far but usually do until the evenings. Tonight me and my sister are going out to dinner but it is a place that I know I can get healthy choices at. I will be fine

Have a great evening everyone!

Behavior_Modification

Another binge free day. Binge averted actually. I went to dinner w/ my sis to Outback steakhouse and got a 6oz sirloin, salad w/ dressing on the side and splurged a little w/ sweet potato fries. I love them and only get them when Outback brings them back for a special so maybe once per year. I'm not a big fried foods kind of person (sugar is my downfall as you know) so I can usually say no to most things but these were something special that I really did want to indulge in and budgeted for it. I also knew I was going to get a dessert because I had a free coupon. I took it to go. I have been really wanting to try their carrot cake and so I got that. Ate it around 10pm after my stomach settled a bit from dinner. Oh man, instant binge feelings, it was horrible and I wasn't very sleepy so I just kept thinking about what else I could eat. But I knew I wasn't actually hungry, I just wanted more sugar. So I brushed and flossed really well and relaxed in bed w/ a puzzle book and it was much easier to ignore the temptation with a clean mouth. I only went over my calories by about 100 or so and for me having dinner out, that is no big deal. I'm trying to get myself back in the mind set of one day at a time too and that is helping.

superwmn

I'm a former sufferer. Geneen Roth's 'Women Food and God' changed my life. I'd love to be a part of this group

Charmagne

Krymsen

Welcome charmagnechi!

Any ideas on how to get through this just let us know! Good job getting over it!

malpal0111

Welcome Charmagne!

I've had a bunch of good days recently, and then today turned into a not-so-good one. I was in denial for a long time, but I've finally come to accept that refined carbs are my archnemeses!

I'm coming to terms with the fact that I need to cut sugar and other refined carbs out of my diet COMPLETELY. I have been avoiding them for the past six weeks, but I would allow myself the occasinal ice cream bar or single serving bag of chips or crackers as treats. But I realized today that I simply can't do this. While these little treats don't always lead to a binge, my binges are always triggered by these little treats.

I'm doing well on my 1st goal of no restricting, so here comes goal #2: No more sugar or refined carbs! Period. This is gonna be a tough one for me, but I'm going to give it my all!

In addition to frequently triggering binges, I've been noticing that refined carbs also make me cRaZy! Moody, grumpy, generally unpleasant. So good riddance to the little nasties!

Behavior_Modification

good to hear from you malpal

Krymsen

Hey!

No binging Day 2 yay!!!!!!!!! Man it hard but I did not give in. Tomorrow will be good. I did eat alot of fruit today but it was better then eating tons of refined sugar. I'm so proud of my self for not giving in.

Melissa

funnygirl0940

It's all or nothing girls! Binging isn't even an option. Throw out the junk, crap food and get your house loaded with God food. Processed food is also killing you.

Some people like their problems...you're not going to be one of them!

I got rid of a spirit of fear. Kept repeating to myself at night, "I'm an overcomer by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of my testimony." That was 8 years ago. I'm stronger, better equipped, and able to help others.

My father abandoned my family when I was 3 years old. He died an alcoholic. The last time I saw him alive, I was 10 years old. He'd call on occasion, when he was drunk. He wasn't there for me when I needed him as a young lady. No one can take our father's place. This messed me up. This was the reason for the poor self image. I needed my father to be there for me and tell me I was beautiful and worthy of a good husband. So as a young teen and into my twenties, I had a lot of trust issues & insecurity issues.

Rather than you all talking about the food you crave and stress eating, how about you identify why this began in the first place. I know for myself now, if get lonesome or don't have enough activities(which is rare) it was a problem. Before, food and binging consumed me. I really didn't have time for anything else. In my twenties, my marriage wasn't what it could have been. My husband wasn't very emotionally supportive. I felt like there was something wrong with me. But you see, I watched a lot of garbage on tv. I let those things influence my thinking. I'm so grateful that my husband and I worked through our issues, we both were willing and in time our marriage really became what it was meant to be. We've been married for 22+ years now. I'm the happiest I've ever been in my life.

So ladies, dig deep. Confession is good for the soul...the truth will set you free. When did this creep in a really get a hold of your heart? What started it?

IsMollyReallyHungry

Hello everyone!! I just want to pop in to post an inspiration that I think is very helpful for us with BED. I will try to catch up with posts over the weekend!!

Have a wonderful weekend!!

HERE IS THE THOUGHT I AM POSTING FROM -- Overeaters Anoymous Today

When much is expected of an individual, he may rise to the level of events and make the dream come true.

The best person to expect anything from is myself. Yet the very thought of excelling makes me shrink back and say, “I can’t.” I have experienced the joy of jumping in without self-consciousness and rising to my own and others’ expectations. What keeps me from attaining my full potential most of the time is the negativity of self-obsession. When my attention is constantly focused on myself and my performance, I am strangely hobbled. Getting out of my own way give me the freedom to rise to the highest level of which I am capable.

For Today: Step 3 is the compulsive overeater’s prescription for making the dream come true. I turn everything over to God as I understand God, and take the plunge.

……..from For Today, Oct. 6

Krymsen

Hey!

My name is Melissa and I love food. Lol sry had to do it! Anyway my story is when I was 6 my mom recieved the news that she had cancer and the Drs. gave her 6 months to live. All I remember is my mom always being in the hositpal and not for me anymore. And her changing so much that she was not the mom that I knew. I am not close to my dad and I was very close to my mom. After that things changed alot mom always gone dad trying to do everything and failing alot. And us kids put on the back burner. I felt alone and very scared and wondered if my mom would make it through. So to fill the void I would eat. I found food filled it. It was the only thing I could control, so everytime something happened I would turn to food. My mom lived for 17 years after that but it was very painful and hard to see her go through it. She died on Sept.27, 2001. And that put me over the edge and I binged more and more. I had meet my hubby 2 weeks before she died, It was the best thing ever but food was still there. I quess I have never learned how to cope with my stress or problems each to binge. We have 3 kids and have been married for 9 years now. In July 2009 I started to lose weight I was 288 pounds and also tried and could not go up a staircase without being out of breath.

Wow it has been a long Journy I have lost 115 pounds so far and almost at my goal of 150 pounds. I have the excerise down pat I love to workout. IT is just dealing with the food part of it and dealing with my emtions and dealing with differently. I really have been enjoying this web-site to help me out wih it and this group tks guys love ya all.

So my action plan is to get help with my mental health then the food and the weight will come off. So here goes nothing. I'm trying every day to love myself more and understand why I'm doing this.

Tks for reading sry it is so long I hope this has helped someone else.

Good luck to you all and take it one day at a time and remember "You Can and You are in Control"

Melissa

Behavior_Modification

Another binge free day but oh man was it difficult. At 9:00 I was very hungry so I ate something and after that I was insatiable. I flossed and brushed hoping that would help but my jaw just really wanted something to gnaw on so I chewed some gum and that helped a little too. I went to bed early again too. I had an emotional day yesterday which didn't help. had to take my sis to take her cat to the vet to be put down after work.

I will write my confessional another day but my story began when I was 8 and my father decided to start weighing me and restrict my food intake based on what the scale said.

Krymsen

Hey! dianeg1981

I almost started crying when I read what your father did to you my goodness. But good job yesterday on not binging. My day is going great so far I had a really good breakfast which helped alot.

Mel

Behavior_Modification

Thanks Mel. :flowerforyou:

hopeitworks

Hi everyone. I haven't been here for a while and I just read some of the things that were posted recently. I'm happy to see some of you going one, two and even three days without binging. I am so happy for you guys. I know how hard it is to accomplish that. I still have good days and bad days. I wish there was a happy medium. I wish I, and we, could all figure out who that demon is inside us who takes over when we start binging. I had a bad day a few days ago and was so disgusted and disappointed with myself. I really hated myself for having no self control. There was one thing that Krymsen said that really hit me and made me think. She said "I'm trying every day to love myself more and understand why I am doing this." I think we all need to try to love ourselves more - I know I need to. Thanks to Krymsen for posting that. I hope everyone has a good weekend.

Niques86

i too suffer from BED and have for about 2 years. finally taking charge of it. i see someone and am using mfp to track what i eat, which deters me from eating slightly, cuz then i wud have to put it all here.

sometimes it's such a battle with yourself, it's really hard to overcome this, and it take real strength to make that first step!

skheather

This message board is helping me to stay away from the Black Forrest Cake that is calling me. I am sure I have BED. Sometimes I will eat anything...and lots of it. Keeping track of my food is helping..and being accountable to my daughter, even though she is on the other side of the world..Computers are great.

Krymsen

Hey Niques86 and skheather,

We are all here for ya! the first step is to say you have a problem and are doing something good job! Just remember you are always worth more then the food you want. Just think of how crappy you will feel after giving in. What I have found worked is to change things up. If I'm bored I will go do something in other room to take my mind off it. Just keep busy to keep your mind off the food. Just keep trying you can do it!

By the way day number 3 no binging and no sugar it is getting easyier, but I know as soon as I get to relaxed I will want to slip up. So I will keep on track hour by hour and day by day!

Have a great weekend everyone!

Melissa

funnygirl0940

@krymsen, thank you for sharing your story..."but I know as soon as I get to relaxed I will want to slip up." You are setting yourself up for failure...this is the way we change the behavior..."i'm not going to get relaxed or ever slip up again" Our words are powerful and we become what we confess.

@hopeitworks, you've got it figured out and didn't see it. "having no self control". Did you know that self control is a fruit/action of the spirit of God? It's something we have to recognize we need and grow it within ourselves. You already have control because you control yourself. If you give over to what is not healthy for you, is going to kill you, then you have the ability to do what is right for yourself. Load your house with produce...quit buying junk food. Become aware of what you are doing and quit giving in to that old way of doing things. If you need to, sit down and write it out. Think good and hard at what you want to accomplish and do it! Become the woman you want to be. The only one stopping you is yourself. Stop doing that!

Krymsen

Hey!

Other binge free day, day number 4 yesterday. I had a cheat meal though because we went out to eat. But I shared the meal with hubby so not as much cals and I skipped on dessert so I was very proud of myself. It was really hard yesterday to not eat alot on when out but I did it! And only had a few fries off my childrens plate so no binging yay!!!!!!!!!

Melissa

IsMollyReallyHungry

Wow!! You all have been busy. I still have not caught up will all the posts.

Welcome new ones!

Congrat Melissa, Diane and others who are posting daily on thier days!!! Great stuff! I can relate to many of your posts! Keep up the good work!

Welcome Funnygirl and thanks funnygirl0940 for some excellent reminders and information. I enjoyed your posts! My confessional post is too long and spreaded but I will share tidbits of info as I am trying to work thru my demons. I have another group I just posted a confessional to and I don't have the engery to go down that roal this morning. Too painful. I may go and copy it here later this week but no time today.

Last night I had a nasty binge. Weekends are hard for me. I am single and so I am bored and lonely and when I have nothing to do I turn to food. I am trying despertely to break the habit. The only thing that helps is when I am busy or have something to do on Friday and Sat nights. Sundays have been getting better because I wash and clean etc. I am also gradually making Friday night a workout night so I don't binge or eat too much that night. I have to find something to do on Saturday. I use to work out on Saturday nights too. When I workout I am not going to out eat what I just did so this helps me and has worked in the past. So on those weekends I don't have anything to do I am going to really have to work out a plan for life until I find Mr. Right......:-) :blushing: The good thing about last night is I did not binge on fast foods. I am going to find the blessing in the mess. So the damage is not as bad when I don't turn to fast foods.

So back to the stick this week.....:-) Thanks for you support guys! It has really helped me to remain mindful of my goals when in the past I would have thrown in the towel by now. But no more of that!! I am not perfect and I am going to overcome binge eating.

Have a wonderful Sunday!:flowerforyou: :drinker: