Help! my husband wont let me lift heavy weights
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My husband hid my bench and barbell a few months ago. But I found them:) they're kinda big.0
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I had to join a gym and not tell my wife for a few months. she hates when I go for a run.
I mean just go do it and eventually he will come around, just don't admit you were cheating on him with gym.
I agree. Sneaky lifting is one strategy.0 -
Your husband won't LET you??
Think about that for a while.... then go lift something heavy.
THIS.
How you exercise is not your only problem here ...0 -
Just tell him you're going to zumba but hit the squat rack instead.
Lol^. Love this!!!! Made my day:)0 -
My wife won't let me sleep with other women!
Well, after reading this thread, damn her! It's my body and I will do as I please. She can't tell me what to do.
Compromise. Pah...
Cheating on your partner is completely different as you are harming someone else. No comparison whatsoever.
Disregarding your partner's feelings or dismissing their insecurities out of hand is harmful to someone else: your partner.
All this posturing is utter nonsense.
posturing is what these forums are all about. These same posters will be force feeding their husbands health food in a thread about "My husband doesn't like the all kale and tofu diet I've put him on for his own good."0 -
My Ex told me the same thing. He never missed an opportunity to tell me how unattractive I was becoming from lifting. Whatever. Now I own my own gym, and he is a distant bad memory.0
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just dont even talk about it... go to the gym, do the lifting routine you want, and when he starts to notice good changes and pointing out what he likes- tell him how you got those results!0
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My boyfriend used to tease me about how often I ate - I subscribe to the theory that it's better (for me) to eat smaller quantities more often. I let it get to me, started eating how HE ate, and ended up gaining a lot of weight. The point is, men do not always understand how women's bodies work. You know what's right for you, just do it! He'll see that he is wrong. I wish I could have followed my own advice, then I wouldn't be trying to lose all this weight now!
Oh and just to clarify, I, of course, thought his comments were intended to tell me he didn't like how I looked. Wrong-O!!! He's just a joker, and didn't realize that teasing me about food was so hurtful.0 -
He won't LET you? Lift something heavy, and throw it at him.
Seriously, if my husband said he wasn't going to "let" me do something, that would guarantee I'd do it. I don't take orders from him, or from anybody. 0 -
Just tell him you're going to zumba but hit the squat rack instead.
Lol^. Love this!!!! Made my day:)
Excellent plan.The idea of leaving someone who likes you the way you are, and doesn't know much about women lifting, just because he's being silly, seems excessive. Keep communicating, have some success with your fitness goals, and he's likely to come around.0 -
You know, maybe this isn't the best approach, but I would just go and do it behind his back, and when he starts bragging about how great your shape is you can tell him that your nice, tight bum has been brought to him by lifting. Also, maybe you could just refer to it as strength training. It takes the whole notion of weights out of the equation.
Take my advice with a grain of salt. I'm divorced. LOL!0 -
I understand what you're trying to say, and that "let" isn't the right word
My guy is terrified of me bulking up and looking like Arnold Schwarzenegger with long hair.
Know how I got him over that fear?
By telling him that it will make my booty look bigger.
When he questioned why I was lifting so heavy up top, I explained that I'm learning how to twerk it.0 -
What do you mean he won't "let" you? You are a grown-up and make your own decisions. Don't let him discourage you from lifting weights if you want to do it. *Show* him how awesome you look when lifting, and he won't complain. 0
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i don't see how getting healthy for you should in any way be a threat to him...if this is a true partnership. he needs to understand that you want to get strong for YOU...and for him.0
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My wife won't let me sleep with other women!
Well, after reading this thread, damn her! It's my body and I will do as I please. She can't tell me what to do.
Compromise. Pah...
Cheating on your partner is completely different as you are harming someone else. No comparison whatsoever.
Disregarding your partner's feelings or dismissing their insecurities out of hand is harmful to someone else: your partner.
All this posturing is utter nonsense.
Please tell me then, as I am intrigued, how exactly do you compromise on the fact that your wife doesn't want you to sleep with other women?
The OPs husbands insecurities are a different problem and need to be resolved seperately. Insecurities does not give someone the right to stop their partner from getting healthy.0 -
My hubby is the same way. He doesn't think I should have any muscle definition at all. I told him it's not his body so I'll do whatever I want. If he doesn't like it he doesn't have to look at it.0
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I would drop a barbell on his toe. On purpose.
Seriously, google Nia Shanks. She can deadlift +300 lbs and she's tiny and slim, no bulk.0 -
If my husband said this to me, I would INCREASE my weight lifting schedule just to spite him. :laugh:0
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Get a new husband. 0
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Please tell me then, as I am intrigued, how exactly do you compromise on the fact that your wife doesn't want you to sleep with other women?
Me personally? I don't.
If I did however decide it was that big a deal to me then I would, at a minimum, discuss it with her first rather than do it behind her back. Honesty is the best policy and all that.The OPs husbands insecurities are a different problem and need to be resolved seperately. Insecurities does not give someone the right to stop their partner from getting healthy.
You're right they don't. However neither do they give people the right to simply disregard what their partner is feeling, well, not unless you want a non functioning relationship that is...0 -
You're right they don't. However neither do they give people the right to simply disregard what their partner is feeling, well, not unless you want a non functioning relationship that is...
Isn't that what the OP's husband is doing? He is disregarding her feelings about what she wants to do with her body. Your example of sleeping with other people is not comparable. She isn't breaking her marriage vows by lifting weights.0 -
Isn't that what the OP's husband is doing? He is disregarding her feelings about what she wants to do with her body. Your example of sleeping with other people is not comparable. She isn't breaking her marriage vows by lifting weights.
Yes, and he needs to let go of his insecurities as well.
However, I think the over riding message of "do it anyway even if it is behind his back" or "who cares what he thinks and just do it" won't particularly add to a conducive future relationship.
The answer to these kinds of questions are painfully boring: talk to your partner openly and honestly, explain why it is important to you and how it will ultimately add to the relationship. I think that has a much better chance of working.
ps: I was being glib in the "cheating" scenario I admit
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Whose body is it?0
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You're right they don't. However neither do they give people the right to simply disregard what their partner is feeling, well, not unless you want a non functioning relationship that is...
Isn't that what the OP's husband is doing? He is disregarding her feelings about what she wants to do with her body. Your example of sleeping with other people is not comparable. She isn't breaking her marriage vows by lifting weights.
If letting your spouse know that you prefer something different then them is disregarding the spouses opinion, then married people disregard each others feelings all the time. I tell my husband not to grow a beard. I'm not sure if he was ever serious about it or not, and I don't care. I don't want him to grow a beard. He tells me not get too skinny. He doesn't care whether I want to be skinny or not.0 -
Let me explain myself a bit better i know i can just go do it but i love this crazy misguided man an want to know his thoughts and concerns after talking tohim further he is actually very afraid i will hurt myself and no one will be around since i had planned on using our home gym we agreed a personal trainer might be a better idea than going solo or at least go to the actual gym so i can use machines that can help me stay safe and avoid injury0
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Does he workout with you?
If not, just do it and don't tell him. I normally wouldn't advocate keeping things from partners, but you know you won't get bulky and if it's just going to cause fights then you're best off keeping quiet IMO. When he starts noticing how good you look, then you can let him know the secret to your success :happy:
If he works out with you, then you're just going to have to do it anyway. You're your own woman and he needs to get over it. Maybe you could strike up a deal. You lift heavy, if and when you get bulky then you will cut back on it a little? He'll think he's won, but really you know that you'll never need to cut back.0 -
Does he workout with you?
If not, just do it and don't tell him. I normally wouldn't advocate keeping things from partners, but you know you won't get bulky and if it's just going to cause fights then you're best off keeping quiet IMO. When he starts noticing how good you look, then you can let him know the secret to your success :happy:
If he works out with you, then you're just going to have to do it anyway. You're your own woman and he needs to get over it. Maybe you could strike up a deal. You lift heavy, if and when you get bulky then you will cut back on it a little? He'll think he's won, but really you know that you'll never need to cut back.
Yeah too true. He has more safty concerns since niether of us is a great athlete he is in way better shape because of the army but we dont know a whole hell of a lot about how its done right0 -
Yeah too true. He has more safty concerns since niether of us is a great athlete he is in way better shape because of the army but we dont know a whole hell of a lot about how its done right
Ask him to read this:
http://www.exrx.net/WeightTraining/Safety.html
Weight training is a statistically safe sport.
Or ask him to join MFP so I can have a chat with him 0 -
Ask him to read this:
http://www.exrx.net/WeightTraining/Safety.html
Weight training is a statistically safe sport.
Or ask him to join MFP so I can have a chat with him
Talking to another guy isn't the worst idea. My experience with direct communication has been mixed. Sometimes it's better to show, than tell. I usually do what I want to do, within reason, without making a fuss, and the other person gets used to it when he sees that I'm not giving up and it isn't so bad after all. For example, I wouldn't have asked about lifting heavy weights and let it become an issue - why would I? It's my exercise program.
I've been married for 14 years to someone who doesn't always agree with me.0 -
I understand his need to protect but come on i am not a moron!0
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