If you can't say anything nice, get thee to internet forums

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Replies

  • Cr01502
    Cr01502 Posts: 3,614 Member
    There are a few on here who are intentionally mean.

    I think you'll find that if you can take a joke or two you'll be just fine.

    In other words . . .

    I think you'll be just fine, OP.
  • GeekAmour
    GeekAmour Posts: 262
    I'm a noob & I really, sadly, love the snark. It's like the Regretsy hoarde got tired of twiddling their thumbs & drinking whiskey & decided to workout instead. I wouldn't be checking in here as much at all if it was all rainbows & unicorns.

    It's the Internet after all.
  • EvelynBfly78
    EvelynBfly78 Posts: 240 Member
    I remember when all this was just fields....
    ...across the street from my high school. An old man lived in a wooden shack there with his goat.

    Oh yeah, getting back to the thread. If you can't say anything helpful or positive don't bother. Keep your sarcasm to yourself.
  • quirkytizzy
    quirkytizzy Posts: 4,052 Member
    I have to admit, the post title is funny. :laugh:

    The truth is that many people expect MFP to a hand-holding site where dangerous and/or ineffective weight loss tactics are to be met with praise, support, or otherwise benign responses.

    But no one here is beholden to hold your hands or be your cheerleader. And no one is under any obligation to follow some code of "niceness." Everyone has different humor styles - and many of us are sarcastic.

    As long as people aren't running around calling each other fat slobs and/or directly insulting other members, it's fine. Too many people take sarcastic responses as a direct insult.

    Truth is, many of us don't feel any random member is so important as to warrant direct insults. Most of what people call "insults" and "snark" is in their heads.

    Develop a friends list that matches with your support needs and you'll fare far better.

    (And this is coming from someone who prefers absolute kindness and gentle support - but that's why I gather friends who are able to support me that way. I do not expect an active forum of hundreds of members to conform to my needs.)
  • BurtHuttz
    BurtHuttz Posts: 3,653 Member
    Keep what you like and discard the rest. Some people actually benefit from hearing "You're crazy! Cut it out! Cowboy up!" etc.

    Some people HAVE to hear that to move forward.

    What makes me sad is the people who focus so closely on what they find unhelpful that they miss all the the comments that are helpful.

    Distinguish between the two, keep what you like, and press on with your goals :-)
  • prattiger65
    prattiger65 Posts: 1,657 Member
    Eat fish, throw out the bones.
  • DavPul
    DavPul Posts: 61,406 Member
    So you went to the forums for advice, and by your own account you received a ton of helpful advice delivered in a manner that you appreciated......... but instead of writing a thank you post to the dozens of people that helped you choose to write a post complaining about a handful of people you think were rude? Is this post meant to be ironic?
  • muddynicola
    muddynicola Posts: 41 Member
    I was just thinking myself that 90 percent of contributors on here have massive attitude problems. I post on other internet forums about other subjects and I've never seen such rude, aggressive and needlessly antagonistic responses to posts.

    I don't think we all need to hold hands but if you've got nothing nice to say and nothing constructive don't bother replying IMO. Also a lot of he 'know it alls' either purposely or mistakenly don't read the questions properly or take the time to understand it.
  • quirkytizzy
    quirkytizzy Posts: 4,052 Member
    So you went to the forums for advice, and by your own account you received a ton of helpful advice delivered in a manner that you appreciated......... but instead of writing a thank you post to the dozens of people that helped you choose to write a post complaining about a handful of people you think were rude? Is this post meant to be ironic?

    *applause*
  • quirkytizzy
    quirkytizzy Posts: 4,052 Member
    I was just thinking myself that 90 percent of contributors on here have massive attitude problems. I post on other internet forums about other subjects and I've never seen such rude, aggressive and needlessly antagonistic responses to posts.

    I don't think we all need to hold hands but if you've got nothing nice to say and nothing constructive don't bother replying IMO. Also a lot of he 'know it alls' either purposely or mistakenly don't read the questions properly or take the time to understand it.

    I really think that /b at 4Chan ought to be an internet starter. That would show people what horrible people are like on the internet.

    Pictures and sarcastic responses that are not even allowed to contain cursewords are so very, very mild.
  • Hadabetter
    Hadabetter Posts: 942 Member
    I remember when all this was just fields....
    :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
  • NormInv
    NormInv Posts: 3,303 Member
    I think some people take the interwebz forums a tad too seriously.

    Also, if you ask a question which is just off the charts crazy, be prepared.
  • UsedToBeHusky
    UsedToBeHusky Posts: 15,228 Member
    If you laugh, then the whole world laughs with you... not at you.
  • NormInv
    NormInv Posts: 3,303 Member
    If you laugh, then the whole world laughs with you... not at you.

    Now thats just not true.
  • NormInv
    NormInv Posts: 3,303 Member
    Also, if you have a genuine question, you will find the answer on the internet either on this site or some other site. YOU WILL. There is no question that hast been answered on the internet. Sometimes people who post the threads are not looking for an answer but for a hug. They are needy. I guess its ok and I dont judge, but be prepared to get a mix of responses.

    When I post something stupid and get replies which I dont like, I just walk away from the 'puter for a while.

    You can also block, cancel, unsubscribe etc...
  • SanteMulberry
    SanteMulberry Posts: 3,202 Member
    Any forum I've ever been on (I've been on a few for various interests) is like that. You just kinda get used to it.
    sometimes you get disgusted and leave. maybe we're just in a transition state and still learning how to deal politely with each other within the anonymity of forums? Or maybe it's up to everyone to educate everyone they come across? still, the line between jocularity and hostility can't always be conveyed whilst typing.

    No I completely agree with you. I'm just saying that sometimes you have to get thick skin if you want to post on a forum. There are always going to be people who disagree, especially on here. So many different methods and ideas floating a round. And then you get the @ssholes. Many people do use the anonymity of the internet to become someone they're not.

    I think you are right. I think that some of the most obnoxious posters would probably be okay people if you met them and befriended them. Some of us seem to have the ability to provoke those people. Perhaps, what we see, is the aggressive, competitive, qualities that should be softened by the cooperative, encouraging qualities in our culture. Sometimes, it seems that the internet brings out the harshest behavior (that likely would not be tolerated in their own personal worlds). :wink:
  • eric_sg61
    eric_sg61 Posts: 2,925 Member
    There's snark, and then there's people who ask a question but really don't want to hear the answer. Like they're looking for what they want to hear.
    This is true, also people don't do their own research and expect everyone else to spoon feed them the info they are looking for without all that pesky work like using the search function.
  • _SABOTEUR_
    _SABOTEUR_ Posts: 6,833 Member
    Hi Yenna,

    I read through the entirety of your original post. There was only one post in there that would have offended me. Out of 4 pages, I think that is a good average. I think there was some decent advice in there, some questionable advice, some jokes/gifs to lighten the mood.

    I hope you were able to filter through all of it and took the information out of it that you required. I found it all very informative imo.
  • babydiego87
    babydiego87 Posts: 905 Member
    You started a thread complaining about a healthcare professional and decided that the internet would be a much better fountain of knowledge and would tell you he was WRONG WRONG and you could eat 2000 calories. Am I right?

    If you don't feel like your doctor is listening to you, then get a second opinion...from another doctor.
  • UsedToBeHusky
    UsedToBeHusky Posts: 15,228 Member
    OP - Can I just say that I just read through your thread?

    What "snark" are you referring to? Everyone offered you sound advice in one fashion or another. The only real jokes that I saw at your expense spawned from jokes you made in your OP. Along with advice, you asked for a little humor with your terminology of "cray-cray" and your Saved by the Bell reference.

    I'm really confused how you felt that the responses to your thread were offensive.

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