If you can't say anything nice, get thee to internet forums

UsedToBeHusky

OP - Can I just say that I just read through your thread?

What "snark" are you referring to? Everyone offered you sound advice in one fashion or another. The only real jokes that I saw at your expense spawned from jokes you made in your OP. Along with advice, you asked for a little humor with your terminology of "cray-cray" and your Saved by the Bell reference.

I'm really confused how you felt that the responses to your thread were offensive.

bregalad5

I think some people take the interwebz a tad too seriously.

fixed

NormInv

You started a thread complaining about a healthcare professional and decided that the internet would be a much better fountain of knowledge and would tell you he was WRONG WRONG and you could eat 2000 calories. Am I right?

If you don't feel like your doctor is listening to you, then get a second opinion...from another doctor.

NormInv

I think some people take the interwebz a tad too seriously.

fixed

No I clearly made the distinction because you can find real love on the internet. Its just the forums that are tricky.

ScatteredThoughts

Interesting. Are we reading the same forums? There are a number of women here who are fast and furious when it comes to laying down some smack. I would say it is a level playing field in that regard.

:laugh:

goldied01

You know? People just hop right in to this and don't read the rules. It clearly states not to bully. Since this site only has a few volunteers and "a few" administrators, its hard for them to catch the bullys. If we ALL would report the bullys, then we wouldn't have to listen to their cr-p anymore. Sorry that you had to hear from people like that. But the good outweighs the bad in that you will learn from some great people who really know what its like to go from fat to fit and more then willing to help you get there!
My hope is that this site will help more than hinder your journey, that you find some great weightloss friends and that you lose all the weight you are hoping to lose.:flowerforyou:

JeepBaja

Milhouse: We gotta spread this stuff around. Let's put it on the Internet.

Bart: No! We have to reach people whose opinions actually matter!

bregalad5

I think some people take the interwebz a tad too seriously.

fixed

No I clearly made the distinction because you can find real love on the internet. Its just the forums that are tricky.

You have a good point. You win. :flowerforyou:

KaleidoscopeEyes1056

Any forum I've ever been on (I've been on a few for various interests) is like that. You just kinda get used to it.

goosemoose.com. Nicest. Forum. Ever. I love it.

goldied01

I was just thinking myself that 90 percent of contributors on here have massive attitude problems. I post on other internet forums about other subjects and I've never seen such rude, aggressive and needlessly antagonistic responses to posts.

I don't think we all need to hold hands but if you've got nothing nice to say and nothing constructive don't bother replying IMO. Also a lot of he 'know it alls' either purposely or mistakenly don't read the questions properly or take the time to understand it.

I really think that /b at 4Chan ought to be an internet starter. That would show people what horrible people are like on the internet.

Pictures and sarcastic responses that are not even allowed to contain cursewords are so very, very mild.







I find this rather funny, as I have seen people who throw in a picture of someone giving the bird as their response! This site is to help each other lose weight not bully people. IF YOU DONT HAVE ANYTHING NICE TO SAY, MOVE ON!!!

bhmathews

I completely agree with the OP. We are surrounded by so much information, it gets confusing when it contradicts what we think we know (1200 MFP daily calories, anyone?). We are all just trying to do the right thing to meet our own objectives.

There is never a good reason to be snappy, judgmental or rude. It's easier to fire off words when you don't have to look someone in the eyes when you say them. There is no reason a person can't give their opinion or share their wisdom using civil language.

quirkytizzy

You know? People just hop right in to this and don't read the rules. It clearly states not to bully. Since this site only has a few volunteers and "a few" administrators, its hard for them to catch the bullys. If we ALL would report the bullys, then we wouldn't have to listen to their cr-p anymore. Sorry that you had to hear from people like that. But the good outweighs the bad in that you will learn from some great people who really know what its like to go from fat to fit and more then willing to help you get there!
My hope is that this site will help more than hinder your journey, that you find some great weightloss friends and that you lose all the weight you are hoping to lose.:flowerforyou:

I get so angry when people use the word "bully" here.

Have you ever been bullied? Beaten to a bloody pulp while your classmates stand around laughing at you, throwing stuff at you? Ever been called a dog, given dog food as a present during the class Christmas exchange? Have you ever had strangers tell you to kill yourself?

Have you ever been afraid to walk down a certain street, path, hallway, because you know you're going to get a good sized rock thrown at your head? And that they'll chase you down afterwards to hold you down for more???

Have you ever been afraid to tell people about where the bruises are coming from because people will tell you to suck it up? Do you know how it feels to receive random notes, internet comments, that slitting your wrists would be a good way to rid the world of your ugly????

Because THAT'S bullying. It drives people to SUICIDE.

What is wrong with you that you would even THINK to compare what happens here to that?

DavPul

I think you are right. I think that some of the most obnoxious posters would probably be okay people if you met them and befriended them. Some of us seem to have the ability to provoke those people (and I've gotta say, they are mostly men with few exceptions). Perhaps, what we see, is the aggressive, competitive, "male" qualities that should be softened by the cooperative, encouraging "female" qualities in our culture. Sometimes, it seems that the internet brings out the harshest behavior (that likely would not be tolerated in their own personal worlds).

Interesting. Are we reading the same forums? There are a number of women here who are fast and furious when it comes to laying down some smack. I would say it is a level playing field in that regard.

:laugh:

That's why I said MOSTLY men. :flowerforyou:

Thanks for continuing your support of sexist gender roles and stereotyping. These forums would be lost without your presence

Springfield_Rocks

You know? People just hop right in to this and don't read the rules. It clearly states not to bully. Since this site only has a few volunteers and "a few" administrators, its hard for them to catch the bullys. If we ALL would report the bullys, then we wouldn't have to listen to their cr-p anymore. Sorry that you had to hear from people like that. But the good outweighs the bad in that you will learn from some great people who really know what its like to go from fat to fit and more then willing to help you get there!
My hope is that this site will help more than hinder your journey, that you find some great weightloss friends and that you lose all the weight you are hoping to lose.:flowerforyou:

I get so angry when people use the word "bully" here.

Have you ever been bullied? Beaten to a bloody pulp while your classmates stand around laughing at you, throwing stuff at you? Ever been called a dog, given dog food as a present during the class Christmas exchange? Have you ever had strangers tell you to kill yourself?

Have you ever been afraid to walk down a certain street, path, hallway, because you know you're going to get a good sized rock thrown at your head? And that they'll chase you down afterwards to hold you down for more???

Have you ever been afraid to tell people about where the bruises are coming from because people will tell you to suck it up? Do you know how it feels to receive random notes, internet comments, that slitting your wrists would be a good way to rid the world of your ugly????

Because THAT'S bullying. It drives people to SUICIDE.

What is wrong with you that you would even THINK to compare what happens here to that?

QFT

SanteMulberry

"...There is never a good reason to be snappy, judgmental or rude. It's easier to fire off words when you don't have to look someone in the eyes when you say them. There is no reason a person can't give their opinion or share their wisdom using civil language..."

Totally agree. Well said.

WinnerVictorious

I completely agree with the OP. We are surrounded by so much information, it gets confusing when it contradicts what we think we know (1200 MFP daily calories, anyone?). We are all just trying to do the right thing to meet our own objectives.

There is never a good reason to be snappy, judgmental or rude. It's easier to fire off words when you don't have to look someone in the eyes when you say them. There is no reason a person can't give their opinion or share their wisdom using civil language.

yes, there is.

there are members of MFP who are deliberately trying to derail others by promoting scams, quackery, and food phobias.

i refuse to treat those people with kid gloves.

Cassea7

I think some people are hungry, angry In the beginning, when I first joined, I was quite shocked at the rudeness , but now i just laugh it off and to be quite honest.... I pity them

xLexa

Bullyng is more than just physical... just saying. Not saying that what the poster is referring to as bullying at all, :flowerforyou: but is is more than the fear of the physical. Me however I have a thick skin

quirkytizzy

Bullyng is more than just physical... just saying. Not saying that what the poster is referring to as bullying at all, :flowerforyou: but is is more than the fear of the physical. Me however I have a thick skin

Bullying is more than the physical.

Some of it is psychological. It is using psychological torture to egg others onto violent acts of self destruction.

Amanda Todd. Killed herself due to bullying. http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/10/11/amanda-todd-suicide-bullying_n_1959909.html

And there are so many more. To hear people hear say that snarky comments - which NEVER cross those lines here - cheapens every tragic death and horrifying self-image that comes of true bullying.

Springfield_Rocks

I completely agree with the OP. We are surrounded by so much information, it gets confusing when it contradicts what we think we know (1200 MFP daily calories, anyone?). We are all just trying to do the right thing to meet our own objectives.

There is never a good reason to be snappy, judgmental or rude. It's easier to fire off words when you don't have to look someone in the eyes when you say them. There is no reason a person can't give their opinion or share their wisdom using civil language.

yes, there is.

there are members of MFP who are deliberately trying to derail others by promoting scams, quackery, and food phobias.

i refuse to treat those people with kid gloves.

yep!