pregnancy doesn't "ruin" your body...

Cadori

sorry to hear you are so caught up in the way that you look that you can't see past your body to what it actually produced. I have 2 beautiful children and 2 equally beautiful angels up in heaven. my body has changed no end as a result of having children but i wouldn't go back in time to have my pre pregnancy body and be without any of my children .... every stretch mark, the saggy boobs, the 2 huge scars from emergancy c sections (... that are hidden by the overhang of my belly ... that is numb from the operations) even the bags under my eyes from sitting by bedsides worrying when they are poorly, are all reminders that i am a woman who has done the most amazing thing in the world and how proud i am of my beautiful intelligent fiesty fun-loving little terrors. I certainly don't see it that i have ruined my body and i am far more hung up about spending time watching them grow and develop and nurturing them, loving them and spending every possible minute having fun with them to spend my precious time in a gym trying to get back what i never had in the first place as i'm not perfect .... is anyone???

Whoa. Just because she looks amazing doesn't mean that she doesn't adore her daughter. She also posted that she's still breastfeeding 18 months later...that takes amazing determination and love to look into a mouthful of teeth and say "OK, I will stick my nipple in that." (****NOT STARTING A BF vs FF DEBATE****)

Iwanttobe180lb

I never once said that she didn't love or adore her child(ren)!

ChLoE1130

for the record, OP, I appreciated this post. I have seen mama's who are pregnant go into utter fear that they will never ever have a "decent" body again. It's not the case. No one is doomed. Yeah, things happen- stretch marks and scars and what not... but it's not a fate for everyone... and even if it happens, it's not the end of your life of fitness.

Some women do believe that they should just give up because "pregnancy ruined my body." I think OP's point was to give a voice to counteract that.

Thanks for that! I think everyone here is being a little harsh on the OP. She's just trying to motivate those that are pregnant or trying to get pregnant to continue to workout (if able to) and eat well and not use pregnancy as an excuse to "let yourself go". Which lets get real MANY women do!! Obviously every pregnancy is different, but seeing some good results can help motivate those that are going through the journey for the first time.

stephanj

It will treat every body differently. I didn't gain any stretch marks from mine but my sister-in-law got some massive tiger striping. My breasts haven't sagged but her pancaked. I'm glad your pregnancy didn't change your body too much but it will vary greatly from person to person.

i'm sure another person given my same situation would think they didn't fare all that well. the hyperemesis during pregnancy, needing back surgery, the hair loss, the now deflated boobies... definitely didn't make for an ideal pregnancy and post baby body. HOWEVER, i dont focus on these things. yes, genetics made it so i dont have loose skin. genetics also helped me not get any stretch marks. but genetics didn't keep my ab muscles from being stretched apart. i had to work my butt off to get them back to where they used to be. genetics also didn't help me lose weight either (i'm now 17 lbs under where i was prepregnancy). In fact, all the women in my family are overweight. I dont dwell on the negative and instead i focus on the positive... most of which was given from me to me. not courtesy of genetics.

OP, I think, and correct me if I am wrong, your intent was to say we have to work to get our bodies back after pregnancy, but that it can be done. In that regard I totally agree. I have lost all but 2 lbs of my pregnancy weight, and I never used pregnancy as an excuse to keep the weight on. Good for you for taking control of your health.
Please understand, though, for me it initially felt like a judgement on me because I just don't look that good in the belly area any more. It's hard to feel comfortable at the beach, having to hide my loose skin, and I am finally at a place in my life where I am gaining some comfort with my imperfections, and part of where that comes from is feeeling like I am part of a "sisterhood" with other mothers...that we all have these little imperfections and scars to deal with, and so we forgive them in eachother and see eachother's beauty.
Your intitial post, and your subsequent comments about people in your family who are not as slim, teach me that there are people in this world who do still judge me based on my appearance, and cannot forgive my imperfections, because they may interpret them as character flaws. That is why it made me, and possibly others, defensive. I hope I have misinterpreted.
I don't think our bodies are "ruined" - even those of us who have belly flaps and shredded stomachs, and boobs worthy of nicknaming :flowerforyou: Sorry if you are getting a bit roasted, that's how we roll in the MFP. Peace.

kawickham85

I never once said that she didn't love or adore her child(ren)!

"sorry to hear you are so caught up in the way that you look that you can't see past your body to what it actually produced."

i'm so caught up in my body that that it is eclipsing my child. right.

TAMayorga

I'm never going to say my baby "ruined" my body no matter what I look like.

So Congrats to those who achieved their goals and good luck to those working on them. And Congrats on your kids too.

This ^^^. Speaking as one who thought she'd never have children and was blessed with a beautiful daughter in my 40's, I'd like to say "Happy Mothers' Day" to you all, battle scars and all! :smooched:

JenAndSome

sorry to hear you are so caught up in the way that you look that you can't see past your body to what it actually produced. I have 2 beautiful children and 2 equally beautiful angels up in heaven. my body has changed no end as a result of having children but i wouldn't go back in time to have my pre pregnancy body and be without any of my children .... every stretch mark, the saggy boobs, the 2 huge scars from emergancy c sections (... that are hidden by the overhang of my belly ... that is numb from the operations) even the bags under my eyes from sitting by bedsides worrying when they are poorly, are all reminders that i am a woman who has done the most amazing thing in the world and how proud i am of my beautiful intelligent fiesty fun-loving little terrors. I certainly don't see it that i have ruined my body and i am far more hung up about spending time watching them grow and develop and nurturing them, loving them and spending every possible minute having fun with them to spend my precious time in a gym trying to get back what i never had in the first place as i'm not perfect .... is anyone???

Whoa. Just because she looks amazing doesn't mean that she doesn't adore her daughter. She also posted that she's still breastfeeding 18 months later...that takes amazing determination and love to look into a mouthful of teeth and say "OK, I will stick my nipple in that." (****NOT STARTING A BF vs FF DEBATE****)

I was thinking the same thing.

SaraBrown12

Its nice that some people can go through pregnancy without a massive body change. I have the misfortune of crap skin. My tummy is a mass of stretch marks and i also had 1 section and still have my scar. I don't however see these as negative i see it as being a tigress who earned her stripes. Would i prefer not to have stretch marks and a scar?.. heck yeah but i am not hung up about it. So i have to buy a tankini instead of a bikini. Not the end of the world... However i cannot blame pregnancy for the fact i weighed almost 18.5 stones at my heaviest so yeah OP is correct, having kids is not an excuse to pile on the beef and use the infamous " ah well, i am eating for 2" excuse. Pregnancy comes with all manner of ailments and injuries, We all know about most of these when we decide to go forth and multiply. I bet there is not 1 mother here who is bitter towards their children because of the body changes carrying them caused.

OP A lot of people will understandably be a bit jel that you have no stretch marks and a flat tum as most are not that lucky.

Kudos to you tho, if i got through pregnancy with no marks/scars i am sure i would be showing off too. Not to say that you have also not had to put in a lot of hard work.

Morale of the story, for most having a hot body = effort and exercise. We all have that in common and we all deserve support in maintaining or reaching our goals.

cleotherio

Not everyone is that lucky.

However I'm pretty lucky. I've had 3 and have a nice stomach.

Same here, except that I have two. The first when I was 32, and the next on 18 months later. One of my girlfriends refers to it as "having the bounce-back gene".

FitMrsR

You look amazing, you really do. And good job on getting back into shape.

I'm 5'6" and was 145lbs when I got pregnant with my daughter. I tried to eat healthy but I really had no idea what that meant and no concept of proper portion sizes. I gained 65lbs and by the time she was 2 I had lost 93lbs. I was in great sheep but the skin on my tummy wasn't as tight as it once was and I'm literally covered in stretch marks from belly button to bikini line and straight across (I scar very easily). I don't really care about the stretch marks anymore even though they are very noticeable due to the texture of the skin. I was in great shape but I would have looked a heck of a lot better if I hadn't had a baby. Obviously wouldn't change it for the world as I love my little girl but no everyone is so fortunate.

Cadori

I never once said that she didn't love or adore her child(ren)!

You said:

sorry to hear you are so caught up in the way that you look that you can't see past your body to what it actually produced

How does saying that someone is so wrapped up in their self image that they can't see their children NOT implying that? And FWIW, I think it's WAY worse to make remarks that disparage a woman's love for her child than it is to talk about their bodies.

Isakizza

Wish I had your genes. You look great both preggers and not.
Sadly not all of us get to be so cute, lol. I sure wasn't. I had my babies very young too when I wasn't overweight.

I got so big, all over. Large arms, legs, face, enormous belly. And sadly my body was never the same especially my lower belly, even with youth on my side, my skin was never the same.

I agree with you though, we shouldn't let having babies be and excuse to let ourselves go! We still can control how we eat and move. I know I will never look like my pre-pregnancy body.

Reinventing myself now, I'm looking for a NEW BEST ME. :happy:




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ctalimenti

i dont want to have three children. the idea of children outnumbering the parents freak me out.

LOL! Love it!

I had one kid. There's this issue here in the US called unemployment or too many people, not enough jobs. Be green.

iron_jj

Jealous people can be so hateful and bitter. I'm amazed. You look great OP.

kawickham85

It will treat every body differently. I didn't gain any stretch marks from mine but my sister-in-law got some massive tiger striping. My breasts haven't sagged but her pancaked. I'm glad your pregnancy didn't change your body too much but it will vary greatly from person to person.

i'm sure another person given my same situation would think they didn't fare all that well. the hyperemesis during pregnancy, needing back surgery, the hair loss, the now deflated boobies... definitely didn't make for an ideal pregnancy and post baby body. HOWEVER, i dont focus on these things. yes, genetics made it so i dont have loose skin. genetics also helped me not get any stretch marks. but genetics didn't keep my ab muscles from being stretched apart. i had to work my butt off to get them back to where they used to be. genetics also didn't help me lose weight either (i'm now 17 lbs under where i was prepregnancy). In fact, all the women in my family are overweight. I dont dwell on the negative and instead i focus on the positive... most of which was given from me to me. not courtesy of genetics.

OP, I think, and correct me if I am wrong, your intent was to say we have to work to get our bodies back after pregnancy, but that it can be done. In that regard I totally agree. I have lost all but 2 lbs of my pregnancy weight, and I never used pregnancy as an excuse to keep the weight on. Good for you for taking control of your health.
Please understand, though, for me it initially felt like a judgement on me because I just don't look that good in the belly area any more. It's hard to feel comfortable at the beach, having to hide my loose skin, and I am finally at a place in my life where I am gaining some comfort with my imperfections, and part of where that comes from is feeeling like I am part of a "sisterhood" with other mothers...that we all have these little imperfections and scars to deal with, and so we forgive them in eachother and see eachother's beauty.
Your intitial post, and your subsequent comments about people in your family who are not as slim, teach me that there are people in this world who do still judge me based on my appearance, and cannot forgive my imperfections, because they may interpret them as character flaws. That is why it made me, and possibly others, defensive. I hope I have misinterpreted.
I don't think our bodies are "ruined" - even those of us who have belly flaps and shredded stomachs, and boobs worthy of nicknaming :flowerforyou: Sorry if you are getting a bit roasted, that's how we roll in the MFP. Peace.

it wasn't a judgement on you because i dont know you! and i dont judge people on appearance at all. do others? most definitely. can i point them out? sorry, i can't (unless they point themselves out anyway). my take is that we should all be continually working on ourselves, always striving to be better. becoming a mom isn't 'game over'. The fact of the matter is, we are all being judged all the time. I get told that i dont look like 'a real mom' and friends have admitted to me that they refuse to do certain activities with me such as go to the beach. it's all just a heap of bull**** and i wish everyone in this world could stop assuming that everything everyone else does is somehow an attack. let's just breathe, relax, and take everything for what it is worth. i'm honestly failing to see how so many people are working themselves up over this. i see no drama anywhere (except by the one woman who said i prioritize my body over my daughter. what a nutcase, am i right? lol) and no reason for people to get upset.

kikirichards

I'm almost 2 years post delivery with twins, 8lbs each too!

You just lucky with the strech marks.You have to see my belly 4 years post delivery of twins.I dare you! :P

madworld1

I congratulate you on your fitness success post-delivery. At the same time, not getting stretch marks has A LOT to do with genetics. More women get stretch marks than not. I'm not saying that you can't get back to a good, healthy weight after giving birth. But, women in search of "real" women's bodies after pregnancy should know that stretchmarks, c-sections, and a whole host of complications are very possible.

originalcookiemonster

The OP pics are hope and all the other comments are scaring the he** out of me. I'm terrified of doing all this work. Losing over 100 lbs, finally have a decent body for once in my life and then ... mangle it with a pregnancy. this is seriously unfair.

presonally, i always wished i knew that sometimes it did screw you up. just so that when it happened to me i was mentally prepared and knew it was within normal.

you can't make an educated choice, you can't have informed consent, until you know all of the facts.

if a person's only reason for not having kids is fear of not looking so pretty after, are they really ready to have kids yet? is it really the best option to lie to them?

the reality is that pregnancy is a serious business. it can ruin your body and it can endanger your health, or even your life. there are things you can do to minimise the risks but there are no guarantees. yet, if you ask most mums, your kids are more than worth it.

I've always wondered about the logic of trying to convince women who say things like "I don't want to get fat" that they should have children. Like...why does that sound like a good idea? Does she strike you as a woman with priorities geared towards child rearing?

I've had this actual conversation with my sister, bless her silly soul.

"You would be a great mom Chelle, you should do it before you get too old." (I'm 25, btw.)
"I don't want to get fat."
"It's not FAT, it's a baby!"
"...K. I don't want to screw up my body."
"(insert five minute explanation of how it doesn't screw up your body and even if it does it's so so worth it.)"
"I spend 3 to 5 hours a day playing video games and I'm not prepared to have a kid interrupting my raid time with their need for food and love and crap."
"Well that's just SELFISH!"

Oh. That's the point where I seemed selfish? Not the other stuff? It isn't glaring obvious that I shouldn't be having kids? No? Alright then.

I was hearing this conversation in my head as I was reading it and I can't stop giggling. Hehehehehehe.

_DaniD_

Whoa! Why is everyone reaming the OP? Her post is accurate and inspiring.

+10 points for hot Mommies!

And did I miss the part where she mentioned stretch marks? Where did that even come from..

ctalimenti

...and I've seen plenty a person "give up" a lot sooner than pregnancy.