Embarrassed to go jogging because of pervs.

MelsAuntie

I was out walking once, a country dirt road with houses far apart and trees close to the road both sides, and two skanky-looking guys in a closed van slowed way down and looked me over in a way I did not like at all. Didn't say anything, but...if I had been young and pretty, who knows? Something horrible may have happened to me. NEVER forget to stay safe. I don't walk that road at all anymore.

smantha32

Fact. Women who walk around fearful of being raped are typically the victims of rape. The vast majority of men have no interest in raping you. A vast minority of men rape women because they are cowardly sickos who are incapable of relationships.

Stop being afraid, woman up, get strong, and dare a man to approach you via your confidence and behaviors.

I've never been raped, because I'm careful. Or maybe just lucky.
The majority of my friends however, have been. and yes, the majority. like 80 percent.

I've heard the statistic is 1 in every 4 women have been raped. However I think the majority of them were raped by friends or family rather than strangers.

still though.

Personally I highly doubt that figure is even close. Also heard that 1 in 4 children in the US goes to bed hungry, which is crap. Statistics are used every day to sell something.

Not saying its not an issue at all...just that 25% is BS (is my opinion). Do you know 25% of your friends who have been raped? Really?

Much more than 25 % of my friends have been raped.
See the above quoted post.

Anyway this wasn't meant to devolve into a thread about rape. more like,

If you run/walk outside, be aware of your surroundings no matter where and when you do it, and men shouldn't be telling us what we have to fear, because unless it's happened to you, or a female in your family, you don't really understand.

kellykw

When I jog, I just want to be left alone. If I pass someone, I will make eye contact and smile, but that's as much interaction as I want. The other day I was jogging with earbuds in but my music was paused. A guy coming towards me on the trail looked at my chest then said "ooooh, bouncy bouncy!" to his friend. I'm guessing he thought I had music on and couldn't hear him, or maybe he just didn't care. I really wish I would have said something sarcastic, but I just kept going like I didn't hear.

Anyway, the point of that story was that I feel your pain. I don't have advice or a solution. I did buy a couple of mega supportive sports bras the next day, just in case the old ones were lacking. :blushing:

smantha32

1 in 4? I do not believe that. If it's real then yes, the rape is by men in their family or people they know.

Or worse, 1 in 4 cry rape after having consentual sex with a man who does not call them the next day, or ever again. I know plenty of those girls, and it diminishes the real crime when it happens to real victims.

I really am shocked to hear such ignorance coming out of a woman's mouth...very sad that so many people who have no knowledge of this stuff just presume whatever they want with zero evidence to back it up. Lovely.

I do have personal knowledge. Do you?

I will not derail this thread further, but if 25% of the women you know have been forcibly raped, you should probably get to know different types of women.

wow really? So if I discover a friend of mine has been raped in her past I shouldn't be her friend anymore?
WTF ARE you trying to say here?

likitisplit

Anyway this wasn't meant to devolve into a thread about rape.

I know. I PM'd the OP. The thing is that with the question that was asked, the majority of the women will immediately read the need for personal safety between the lines, even if she's just asking about being judged or teased.

The whole concept of "rape awareness week" is laughable considering how alert women are to the issue at all times.

UrbanLotus

1 in 4? I do not believe that. If it's real then yes, the rape is by men in their family or people they know.

Or worse, 1 in 4 cry rape after having consentual sex with a man who does not call them the next day, or ever again. I know plenty of those girls, and it diminishes the real crime when it happens to real victims.

I really am shocked to hear such ignorance coming out of a woman's mouth...very sad that so many people who have no knowledge of this stuff just presume whatever they want with zero evidence to back it up. Lovely.

I do have personal knowledge. Do you?

I will not derail this thread further, but if 25% of the women you know have been forcibly raped, you should probably get to know different types of women.

Yes, I do, I worked with sexual assault victims for 4 years. Given that you said this "I do not believe that. If it's real then yes" its clear that you don't. And where does it say forcibly raped? RAPED. Period. Yes, god forbid I hang out with the "type" of women who get raped (you know, children, 80 year olds, fat, tall, ugly, skinny, stupid, smart....).

Espressocycle

Treadmill. Then you can watch TV.

likitisplit

I was out walking once, a country dirt road with houses far apart and trees close to the road both sides, and two skanky-looking guys in a closed van slowed way down and looked me over in a way I did not like at all. Didn't say anything, but...if I had been young and pretty, who knows? Something horrible may have happened to me. NEVER forget to stay safe. I don't walk that road at all anymore.

No. You were just lucky that day.

liftingheavy

Fact. Women who walk around fearful of being raped are typically the victims of rape. The vast majority of men have no interest in raping you. A vast minority of men rape women because they are cowardly sickos who are incapable of relationships.

Stop being afraid, woman up, get strong, and dare a man to approach you via your confidence and behaviors.

Actually, the reason why men rape is because of an imagined wrong by that woman or all women, or because they are sadists who like the feeling of power. A lot of the time they are in a relationship or married.

There is no woman who is safe from rape no matter how confident or aware of her surroundings she may or may not be.

I respect your opinion but disagree on one front.

I agree that rape is an act of aggression, power, and unfulfilled sexual desires, however most rape occurs by a man that a woman knows, is in her family, or someone she dates. The idea that a woman cannot go out jogging because a random man will rape her is a myth put in her head by men who want to control her, and make her fearful of the world.

Yes, Central Park rapes occur, but much less often than say, a random shooting.

CorvusCorax77

seems like some people here don't understand how awful harassment can be. I know it can be awful. It happens to me too... but I just found a neighborhood where it is less likely and when it does happen, I make an effort to ignore it. Also, running with a bully breed keeps the creepers away.

CorvusCorax77

Fact. Women who walk around fearful of being raped are typically the victims of rape. The vast majority of men have no interest in raping you. A vast minority of men rape women because they are cowardly sickos who are incapable of relationships.

Stop being afraid, woman up, get strong, and dare a man to approach you via your confidence and behaviors.

Actually, the reason why men rape is because of an imagined wrong by that woman or all women, or because they are sadists who like the feeling of power. A lot of the time they are in a relationship or married.

There is no woman who is safe from rape no matter how confident or aware of her surroundings she may or may not be.

I respect your opinion but disagree on one front.

I agree that rape is an act of aggression, power, and unfulfilled sexual desires, however most rape occurs by a man that a woman knows, is in her family, or someone she dates. The idea that a woman cannot go out jogging because a random man will rape her is a myth put in her head by men who want to control her, and make her fearful of the world.

Yes, Central Park rapes occur, but much less often than say, a random shooting.

uh. I think most rapes are by a man you know, yes. But sexual assault in public parks is not uncommon and it's not ridiculous to be mindful of it. And once a woman has been raped, it's more likely that she will fear rape or sexual assault even from random strangers. I mean, balls! If you can't trust your date, your friend, your father, your cousin, your uncle, your dentist, your best friend's husband, your neighbor, then why should you trust the random dude on the street you know nothing about?!?!?!

noobletmcnugget

Thanks so much to everyone who has posted serious/helpful replies! Much appreciated!

It has annoyed me that quite a few people seem to have found it amusing or don't see a problem with it. I think it's harassment and it creeps me out. Before saying that my embarrassment and concern is irrational or stupid, consider the fact that you don't know ANYTHING about me or my experiences...

liftingheavy

1 in 4? I do not believe that. If it's real then yes, the rape is by men in their family or people they know.

Or worse, 1 in 4 cry rape after having consentual sex with a man who does not call them the next day, or ever again. I know plenty of those girls, and it diminishes the real crime when it happens to real victims.

I really am shocked to hear such ignorance coming out of a woman's mouth...very sad that so many people who have no knowledge of this stuff just presume whatever they want with zero evidence to back it up. Lovely.

I do have personal knowledge. Do you?

I will not derail this thread further, but if 25% of the women you know have been forcibly raped, you should probably get to know different types of women.

Yes, I do, I worked with sexual assault victims for 4 years. Given that you said this "I do not believe that. If it's real then yes" its clear that you don't. And where does it say forcibly raped? RAPED. Period. Yes, god forbid I hang out with the "type" of women who get raped (you know, children, 80 year olds, fat, tall, ugly, skinny, stupid, smart....).

Do not bring kids or the elderly into this conversation. If you really work with rape victims you KNOW the pathology I am talking about.

I am not saying not to be careful, I am saying that I will not inhibit my life by being afraid to jog outside.

Now on to more pleasant subjects.

BeachIron

Thanks so much to everyone who has posted serious/helpful replies! Much appreciated!

It has annoyed me that quite a few people seem to have found it amusing or don't see a problem with it. I think it's harassment and it creeps me out. Before saying that my embarrassment and concern is irrational or stupid, consider the fact that you don't know ANYTHING about me or my experiences...

You want an honest answer?

Toughen up. And I don't mean that to be cruel, but the world isn't fair and it often isn't nice. Learn to deal with *kitten*. EVERYONE has to at some point or another. If you're on a street jogging then learn to "ignore" them as in don't respond but definitely be aware of where they are and where you can go. I strongly suggest you do not hide in ear buds because then you cannot be aware of your surroundings. And if you're in an area where this happens regularly and there is a real risk of assault, then do not jog alone. Take some self defense and safety classes. Lean to protect yourself, both verbally and physically.

Now all of that said, do not allow yourself to live in fear either. Keep it balanced.

clarewalsh5477

Don't jogg , There are other ways of exercising

UrbanLotus

1 in 4? I do not believe that. If it's real then yes, the rape is by men in their family or people they know.

Or worse, 1 in 4 cry rape after having consentual sex with a man who does not call them the next day, or ever again. I know plenty of those girls, and it diminishes the real crime when it happens to real victims.

I really am shocked to hear such ignorance coming out of a woman's mouth...very sad that so many people who have no knowledge of this stuff just presume whatever they want with zero evidence to back it up. Lovely.

I do have personal knowledge. Do you?

I will not derail this thread further, but if 25% of the women you know have been forcibly raped, you should probably get to know different types of women.

Yes, I do, I worked with sexual assault victims for 4 years. Given that you said this "I do not believe that. If it's real then yes" its clear that you don't. And where does it say forcibly raped? RAPED. Period. Yes, god forbid I hang out with the "type" of women who get raped (you know, children, 80 year olds, fat, tall, ugly, skinny, stupid, smart....).

Do not bring kids or the elderly into this conversation. If you really work with rape victims you KNOW the pathology I am talking about.

I am not saying not to be careful, I am saying that I will not inhibit my life by being afraid to jog outside.

Now on to more pleasant subjects.

No, I don't know the pathology of the victims, since you are so knowledgable why don't you enlighten me? And I can bring anything into the conversation that I want, you certainly are!

kelbwjax

awwwww too pretty to run.

and what are you scared of? people taking a piss?

... taking THE piss.

It's creepy guys that are the problem....

if that doesnt mean expelling urine from your body, then i have no idea what it does mean.

'Taking the piss'...How do you not know what that means?! I mean, okay it's not an American phrase but do you live in a cave with your fingers in your ears and your eyes closed or do you just pretend the rest of the world doesn't exist. Pfft!

Exactly.... its not AMERICAN slang, so no we aren't familiar with your British slang form of "taking the piss". No we don't live in a cave, ect. We are American not British so we simply do not care about your slang terms, but Hey I guess we all learned something new about piss today. How exciting! :laugh:

likitisplit

Thanks so much to everyone who has posted serious/helpful replies! Much appreciated!

It has annoyed me that quite a few people seem to have found it amusing or don't see a problem with it. I think it's harassment and it creeps me out. Before saying that my embarrassment and concern is irrational or stupid, consider the fact that you don't know ANYTHING about me or my experiences...

It is harassment and you absolutely shouldn't have to deal with it. And it's not like this happens because you're doing something to attract it. Many women in a wide variety of circumstances have had to deal with similar issues.

ldabao

I always run with loud music on my ipod and just ignore the "lookers". If something angers me, I try to turn that negative energy into positive energy to fuel my runs. Imagine you are running faster AWAY from the offender :laugh:

PlayerHatinDogooder

I'd quite like to start running outside, but I'd have to go on busy roads with other people and cars. I'm scared that people are going to take the piss. I already get honked at by pervy old men and stuff randomly while walking sometimes. Ugh, it just creeps me out and makes me angry. Unless I wake up super early and go while not many people are around I don't see a way to avoid this... help!

There is nothing pervy about someone honking a horn at you. Aside from that most people don't pay any attention to joggers so i wouldnt worry.

Wow, thanks for mansplaining. I find it pervy.

I find it's a compliment but subjective situation is subjective.

That's great for you. My subjective opinion is that men shouldn't tell women what is or isn't offensive to women.

Clearly that's your job.