Some of you are just plain RUDE

cwolfman13

On the positive side...I think this is the first "Why are people so mean" thread I've seen all week.

Wait, is that even possible?

I know right....I was a little worried that people were getting a little too lovey dovey around here...

innocenceportrayed

All forums you find online are going to have their share of people who come off as rude. This may not be their intentions and yet for some it may be. Online it's impossible to understand the tone and manner of the person. Just how it is.

KatLifter

YES
4'11 girl: Is it ok if I eat 1,200 calories a day?
People: NO UR GONNA STARVE UR GONNA SHRIVEL UP AND DIE EVERYONE NEEDS WAY MORE THAN 1,200 CALORIES UR GONNA STARVE AND DIE LOLZ UR DUMB EAT A SANDWICH

Citation?
I usually see people helping that girl calculate her TDEE.

sportybrewerschick

I agree with you! People have different circumstances that affect their actions. Don't judge and I thought we were here to "give support?"

I must be wrong.

Cp731

LOLZ UR DUMB EAT A SANDWICH

I think you may have meant to say "sammich"

iWaffle

JaneDough_

OH, COME ON!

prettigirl01

OMG I COMPLETELY AGREE WITH YOU 150%!!!!!! PEOPLE ARE RUDE AND ALOT OF US DONT UNDERSTAND WHAT ALL OF THESE FANCY TERMS MEANS AND HOW MANY CALORIES WE SHOULD BE USING! I HAD TO DELETE A LADY WHO WAS VERY RUDE TO ME BECAUSE SHE COULDNT UNDERSTAND WHY I WAS VENTING. I DONT LIKE IGNORANCE

Mel2626

Rude people don't care that they're being rude so you're really wasting your breath trying to get them to feel bad for their words or actions. Sometimes it's due to things being lost in translation over the internet and other times it's people simply just being a-holes. Just stick with the nice people and ignore the rest. Even better, the rude people have probably all blocked you now so you won't even see their posts anymore: win/win!

BeachIron

YES
4'11 girl: Is it ok if I eat 1,200 calories a day?
People: NO UR GONNA STARVE UR GONNA SHRIVEL UP AND DIE EVERYONE NEEDS WAY MORE THAN 1,200 CALORIES UR GONNA STARVE AND DIE LOLZ UR DUMB EAT A SANDWICH

^ The issue is that MFP has been set up 1200 as a base line but suggests it to way too many women. There are some rather petite women like yourself for which 1200 is probably appropriate. Shake it off as many people on here are trying to draw from their personal experiences to provide help. There are certainly some that are overzealous.

capnrus789

BUUUUUUUUUURRRPPP!

I'm sorry, did you say something?

LorinaLynn

People have legitimate questions that need thoughtful answers. You may have lost 50 pounds and be in the best shape of your life but that does not give you the right to talk down to someone. Where are you manners?? I don't care if this is your 50th time answering the same question. Don't be a prick about it. Some are new to this site and don't want to go through the million pages of topics that are posted.

Everyone was new here once, except for the tiny handful of people who somehow joined when they had no members yet. Which must have been REALLY weird. But for everyone else, there's always been people who have been here longer and have known more.

MAYBE the people who you think are being rude are repeating what worked for THEM when they were the noobs.

I've been here almost 2.5 years. When I first joined, I spent a lot more time reading than I did posting. I still spend a lot more time reading than I do posting, and with a post count as high as mine, that's a LOT of reading. I can probably count on one hand the number of times I've actually asked for advice, because I usually found the answer while... you guessed it: reading.

I try to be considerate. I try to think "this could be someone's first day here," not only when considering the OP, but lurkers who might be like me and read more than post. I don't go out of my way to be rude, but I've still been accused of it, because someone didn't like my answer.

Personally, I grew up with four older brothers, and as a very unpopular nerdgirl in school. I've taken a lot of ribbing in my life. A few words on an internet forum aren't going to send me into hysterics. And I attribute 95% of the success I've had on this site to keeping an open mind and realizing that I can learn most from those who are saying things that don't make sense. (like eating more for better weight loss, and lifting weights to look more feminine)

If someone is being genuinely rude, ignore them or report them if you think it's bad enough. But if you just don't like their "delivery," realize that not everyone responds the same way to the same stimuli. What you might think is rude might be the kick in the pants someone else truly NEEDS.

sullus

People get "brave" on the internet. They find they can say what they want without consequence. No worries. Hopefully one day their attitudes from the internet come out in real life and they use it to the wrong person and get punched in the face.

This excuse of "we aren't rude - we're just HONEST" is a cop out. You do not have to be snide to be honest. It's a little thing called TACT. Some people just don't have any, unfortunately.

tact noun \ˈtakt\

Definition of TACT

1
: sensitive mental or aesthetic perception <converted the novel into a play with remarkable skill and tact>
2
: a keen sense of what to do or say in order to maintain good relations with others or avoid offense

One who hopes someone gets punched in the face should not be attempting to instruct people on "tact"

ilmb87

I agree people should at least make an effort to be polite to one another, but on the other hand . . . I think FAR too many people on this forum (and in the world, in general) have thin skin.

So, I'm a bit torn on how to feel.:indifferent:

PlayerHatinDogooder

OMG I COMPLETELY AGREE WITH YOU 150%!!!!!! PEOPLE ARE RUDE AND ALOT OF US DONT UNDERSTAND WHAT ALL OF THESE FANCY TERMS MEANS AND HOW MANY CALORIES WE SHOULD BE USING! I HAD TO DELETE A LADY WHO WAS VERY RUDE TO ME BECAUSE SHE COULDNT UNDERSTAND WHY I WAS VENTING. I DONT LIKE IGNORANCE

Was she explaining the caps lock function?

JenniBaby85

I didn't read the responses, but I'm going to go with my gut and say "Uh oh."

cblkel

I totally agree with your post. Glad you had the nerve and good sense to post it. Maybe some of those people will get a conscious and change their ways. I know you are getting all kinds of negative post, but don't let that stop you. You keep up the good work.

mmddwechanged

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Crankstr

OMG I COMPLETELY AGREE WITH YOU 150%!!!!!! PEOPLE ARE RUDE AND ALOT OF US DONT UNDERSTAND WHAT ALL OF THESE FANCY TERMS MEANS AND HOW MANY CALORIES WE SHOULD BE USING! I HAD TO DELETE A LADY WHO WAS VERY RUDE TO ME BECAUSE SHE COULDNT UNDERSTAND WHY I WAS VENTING. I DONT LIKE IGNORANCE

yelling doesnt help.:flowerforyou:

smantha32

People get "brave" on the internet. They find they can say what they want without consequence. No worries. Hopefully one day their attitudes from the internet come out in real life and they use it to the wrong person and get punched in the face.

This excuse of "we aren't rude - we're just HONEST" is a cop out. You do not have to be snide to be honest. It's a little thing called TACT. Some people just don't have any, unfortunately.

tact noun \ˈtakt\

Definition of TACT

1
: sensitive mental or aesthetic perception <converted the novel into a play with remarkable skill and tact>
2
: a keen sense of what to do or say in order to maintain good relations with others or avoid offense

One who hopes someone gets punched in the face should not be attempting to instruct people on "tact"

You totally win. :flowerforyou:

Koldnomore

corrinebrown wrote: "Some are new to this site and don't want to go through the million pages of topics that are posted."

And there lies the root of your problem. When I joined MFP, I spent time going reading the forum to see what I can learn and obtain answers to questions that I may have. This is call taking responsibility, 15 minutes a day is not too much to ask to do this. All of us are busy busy busy (the Angie commercial), but the ones that spend time going through the forum, do not expect others to be instantly at our disposal.

I find some people expect instant answers to their questions, because they are too lazy to do a little research. If there is an answer to a question that I was thinking about or a website address that have interesting information, I normally copy it and paste in Wordpad to read at my leisure.

I think I love you!

Silver_Star

SpeSHul_SnoflEHk

Yes, there are jerks on here (let's stop pretending there aren't). You can ignore their comments or call them out. I personally give props to those who call out people for being @ssholes.

I sometimes get called out for being an a-hole when I am trying to be helpful (I will admit there are times when I am trying to be an a-hole, but it's usually only in a troll thread a friend of mine has posted). If I really hate you, I will be polite as can be. I won't give fuel for someone to report me.

I don't get my panties in a bunch about it. I just ignore it, or try to explain myself further to clarify my point. I don't care if people think I am an A-hole or not.

I think a lot of people see disagreement in a discussion as someone being an a-hole. I personally don't like to see misinformation sitting out there. I can't let it sit. I will sometimes reply to correct the bit of misinformation, or to throw out an alternate explanation, and be called a troll or a meany. This is why I think people are too sensitive.

People often say I am hiding behind internet anonymity. Not so. When I first logged into this site, my user name was my first and last name. I was the same way then as I am now. In person, I am the same way if not more critical. I try to make sure I'm a bit more polite here than in person, because it is a different form of communication, and people can't see my non-verbals and know that I actually care about them, and the things that they are doing.

But people need to understand that if they are going to engage in a public discourse about a topic there may well be some dissenting viewpoints and opinions and they will be expressed.

Kamikazeflutterby

OMG I COMPLETELY AGREE WITH YOU 150%!!!!!! PEOPLE ARE RUDE AND ALOT OF US DONT UNDERSTAND WHAT ALL OF THESE FANCY TERMS MEANS AND HOW MANY CALORIES WE SHOULD BE USING! I HAD TO DELETE A LADY WHO WAS VERY RUDE TO ME BECAUSE SHE COULDNT UNDERSTAND WHY I WAS VENTING. I DONT LIKE IGNORANCE

You just said that you didn't understand/know dieting terms, and you deleted someone on your friend's list for being "ignorant." See the irony here? "Ignorant" means "uninformed."

I grabbed example because this type of word skewing is what makes me doubt 80% of "they were RUDE!" claims. I've seen more people confuse "rude" with "told me I had the wrong information" or "told me raspberry keytone colon cleansing doesn't work." Hell, I've seen people called rude for explaining TDEE and other bits of dieting jargon.

You know what? Sometimes wrong is wrong, You can put all of the pretty softening up phrases around it you want, add 10,000 "imho" disclaimers, but eventually you've got to tell someone they're incorrect and that is quickly being confused with "rude" in society.

kevrit

Attitude adjustment people! This is the Motivation and Support board. Let's try that and ignore or report the 'bad guys'! :drinker:

Calliope610

I agree, some people seem to come to the forums in order to make themselves feel smarter and more knowledgeable at the expense of others. Try not to let it bother you. There are still lots of people here who do give honest feedback and constructive criticism

And for that, they are called bullies and meanies.

bonniecarbs

what's wrong with her writing in caps?

sullus

George Takei just threw a relevant post up on facebook ..

George Takei
Here's a little Internet tip: If you feel offended by something someone else posts, remember two simple rules:

(1) It's not about you.
(2) If you try to make it about you, you'll sound ridiculous.

--Uncle George

SpeSHul_SnoflEHk

I agree, people can be so mean here. Some think they're being helpful, some feel superior, and some just like talking down to others behind the safety of their computer screens.

Not true. Come here, and I will talk down to you to your face.

sullus

what's wrong with her writing in caps?

It hurts my ears. I read every post in different voices in my head, and she's loud.