Girls wear certain clothes when they are looking

emergencytennis

I have just watched an episode of Q and A (Australian panel show addressing current affairs).

One of the panellists, a comedienne called Ruby Wax, just suggested that women who wear certain clothing are inviting sexual attention. That their purpose is to attract sexual attention. The clothing was not specified, but she mentioned shaving one's legs and wearing high heels.

This is in sharp contradiction to my own attitude, where women wear what they want and nothing should be read into it, sexual or otherwise.

I'm not sure who Ruby Wax is, but she sounds a bit, um,

Follow_me

I tend to agree with Ruby myself. Women love attention. They may or may not welcome comments. That's situational but they do love the attention.

bleedingdesu

I agree. I wear whatever looks good on me, I don't generally try to find things that are sexy, and most of the things that people tell me are suggestive didn't even look sexual or sexy or whathaveyou in the first place. If I wear something, it's not because I want attention so much as I like looking in the mirror, or looking down and seeing it on myself.

rjmudlax13

It's controversial, but there are tons of studies that back up Ruby's comments. It is mostly being done unconsciously. However, consciously, women will rationalize their behavior to no end. Men do it to.

but but...I do it for me!

emergencytennis

Quote studies please beez. To back up your assertion that women who shave their legs and wear heels are looking for sex.

So, the converse is also true? Women who don't shave their legs and who wear flats are discouraging sexual attention?

ItsCasey

Depends on what they mean by "sexual" attention. I think anyone, male or female, enjoys feeling like other people find them attractive. But I definitely do not get dressed in hopes that some random guy is going to latch on and try to get in my pants.

vstraughan

Ruby Wax is an American comedian but probably better known in the UK. She's very sarcastic, facetious and sardonic. She also has qualifications in psychology and does a huge amount of work - support, discussions etc - in that field.

I'd take anything she says with a pinch of salt as I've never seen or heard her do anything wholly serious. Her humour isn't for everyone.

On the other hand, I think that women (including me) often dress in certain ways to make themselves FEEL good, and it may be the case that feeling good = feeling sexy. Most people will agree that the sexiest looking people are the ones that throw that confident attitude out there. As a result, it will attract attention, whether you are targeting that or not.

I'd be pretty shocked if any woman could tell me that, at least once in a while, they either do or want to put on a pair of jeans and say "damn, my *kitten* looks good in those". Why would you care if it looks good if you didn't care how you project yourself?

Everyone wants to feel attractive from time to time and, whether we like it or not, people's opinions do often impact how we feel. The way many women (& men) get that boost is when someone says something about their appearance ... whether it's someone they know, a friend, or perhaps a stranger. MFP is rife with it and I say "good on 'em!"

It doesn't mean for one single minute that women are looking to be letched over, harassed or .... anything worse. Human beings feel great when they are considered attractive. At least half the time we want to buy or wear clothes because it compliments our best assets, whatever they may be.

If you spent hours getting doll'd up, picked an outfit that you felt really complimented you and you were feeling on top form ... wouldn't you even be a tiny bit gutted if no-one said anything? Not even a tiny weeny amount?

ArroganceInStep

My wife has certain outfits that she wears when she wants to feel attractive. She thinks they're flattering to her physique and make her look more bangin' than normal. She enjoys feeling beautiful and part of that is looking good and having other people think she does too.

That doesn't mean that when she gets dressed up she's looking for a stranger to give her the D, though.

ETA: Same goes for men too. When I want to feel attractive I make sure that I've showered that week, grab underwear from the dresser instead of the pile of clothes in the laundry hamper, and try my hardest to remember pants.

melissawilson61

Whether looking for sexual attention or not, girls can indeed attract it based on how they dress. I think we can obviously wear whatever we like, but must be mindful that others (men in particular) may view us more sexually than we have intended.

Mutant13

I normally just wear a sign with my hourly rate on it? Isn't that what y'all do?

LorinaLynn

There's a difference between wanting sexual attention, to feel sexually attractive, and wanting sex from any random stranger.

vstraughan

I normally just wear a sign with my hourly rate on it? Isn't that what y'all do?

Nope, I had the rate stitched on to the butt of my jeans then shake it like a polaroid picture.

Crankstr

I have been told I am sexy when I am trying the least to be sexy.

Sometimes I wonder why I even bother trying, if all it takes are yoga pants and a ponytail.


or just a t-shirt

ArroganceInStep

I normally just wear a sign with my hourly rate on it? Isn't that what y'all do?

*high five

Contrarian

Hourly rate? I charge by the minute, because I am a realist.

ArroganceInStep

Hourly rate? I charge by the minute, because I am a realist.

Actually, hourly rate is better because then they're locked into that first hour whether they use it or not. You could greatly increase your revenue stream making the switch.

theCarlton

Ruby Wax

File Under: Zero Credibility

emergencytennis

Ruby Wax is an American comedian but probably better known in the UK. She's very sarcastic, facetious and sardonic. She also has qualifications in psychology and does a huge amount of work - support, discussions etc - in that field.

I'd take anything she says with a pinch of salt as I've never seen or heard her do anything wholly serious. Her humour isn't for everyone.

On the other hand, I think that women (including me) often dress in certain ways to make themselves FEEL good, and it may be the case that feeling good = feeling sexy. Most people will agree that the sexiest looking people are the ones that throw that confident attitude out there. As a result, it will attract attention, whether you are targeting that or not.

I'd be pretty shocked if any woman could tell me that, at least once in a while, they either do or want to put on a pair of jeans and say "damn, my *kitten* looks good in those". Why would you care if it looks good if you didn't care how you project yourself?

Everyone wants to feel attractive from time to time and, whether we like it or not, people's opinions do often impact how we feel. The way many women (& men) get that boost is when someone says something about their appearance ... whether it's someone they know, a friend, or perhaps a stranger. MFP is rife with it and I say "good on 'em!"

It doesn't mean for one single minute that women are looking to be letched over, harassed or .... anything worse. Human beings feel great when they are considered attractive. At least half the time we want to buy or wear clothes because it compliments our best assets, whatever they may be.

If you spent hours getting doll'd up, picked an outfit that you felt really complimented you and you were feeling on top form ... wouldn't you even be a tiny bit gutted if no-one said anything? Not even a tiny weeny amount?

Insinuating that I have somehow just missed the humour - nah.

It was formulaic; shaved legs, heels, means that the women is hoping to attract a sexual partner. The implication is that if the woman receives attention that she wasn't after then she should have worn something else.

The video and transcript will be available on the ABC website tomorrow - say 13 hours from now.

Mother_Superior

Hard to make a valid response as a man, but I'm calling bs. A woman may dress a certain way because it makes her feel more attractive, or to invite attention from someone specific, but the idea that you can assume someone's wants or intentions based on how they look is a dangerous, and imo stupid precedent to set.

emergencytennis

Ah, Carlton.

I wish I had seen your post earlier.

craigmandu

Hourly rate? I charge by the minute, because I am a realist.

Actually, hourly rate is better because then they're locked into that first hour whether they use it or not. You could greatly increase your revenue stream making the switch.

I disagree...you'll lose your "repeat" customers....no one wants to hang out for 52 minutes talking about the weather!

BondBomb

It's true. But I dress to attract attention from other Chics. Not sexual attention like trying to hook up with them. But when another woman compliments my outfit it does way more for my ego than some dude hitting on me.

ArroganceInStep

I'd have to read the script then, but want to point out that this:

One of the panellists, a comedienne called Ruby Wax, just suggested that women who wear certain clothing are inviting sexual attention. That their purpose is to attract sexual attention. The clothing was not specified, but she mentioned shaving one's legs and wearing high heels.

and this:

It was formulaic; shaved legs, heels, means that the women is hoping to attract a sexual partner. The implication is that if the woman receives attention that she wasn't after then she should have worn something else.

Are not the same thing.

If the argument was the old 'well if she wasn't wearing that outfit she wouldn't have been sexually assaulted' well then yes, that's idiotic. However, wanting to be seen as attractive, even sexually attractive, is NOT the same thing as wanting to find someone to sleep with you.

emergencytennis

I'd have to read the script then, but want to point out that this:

One of the panellists, a comedienne called Ruby Wax, just suggested that women who wear certain clothing are inviting sexual attention. That their purpose is to attract sexual attention. The clothing was not specified, but she mentioned shaving one's legs and wearing high heels.

and this:

It was formulaic; shaved legs, heels, means that the women is hoping to attract a sexual partner. The implication is that if the woman receives attention that she wasn't after then she should have worn something else.

Are not the same thing.

If the argument was the old 'well if she wasn't wearing that outfit she wouldn't have been sexually assaulted' well then yes, that's idiotic. However, wanting to be seen as attractive, even sexually attractive, is NOT the same thing as wanting to find someone to sleep with you.

The implication was mine. That is the way with implications.

UpEarly

The clothing was not specified, but she mentioned shaving one's legs and wearing high heels.

1) I wore heels one time on one day of my life (I'm 41) - I had to wear them as part of a bridesmaid ensemble.

2) I shave my legs every single day, even if I don't plan on leaving the house or seeing another living person

By my anecdotal evidence, this expert's opinions are a bunch of nonsense! :laugh:

billsica

It's true. But I dress to attract attention from other Chics. Not sexual attention like trying to hook up with them. But when another woman compliments my outfit it does way more for my ego than some dude hitting on me.

Hey good... of never mind. its just going to pale in compassion to the mental image of girls hitting on you.

For the record it doesn't matter with some girls what they wear. I'm going to take it as wanting sexual attention no matter what. Jeans with paint spatters and tee shirt, or half of bikini. Yup, I'm just going to jump to conclusions. At least you know its not what you decided to wear that makes the difference.

emergencytennis

The clothing was not specified, but she mentioned shaving one's legs and wearing high heels.

1) I wore heels one time on one day of my life (I'm 41) - I had to wear them as part of a bridesmaid ensemble.

2) I shave my legs every single day, even if I don't plan on leaving the house or seeing another living person

By my anecdotal evidence, this expert's opinions are a bunch of nonsense! :laugh:

I refer you to Carlton's comment above.

mrdexter1

By my anecdotal evidence, this expert's opinions are a bunch of nonsense! :laugh:

expert !!!! ???

Ruby wax is American and a comedian !!!!!!!!!!!!!

homerjspartan

Quote studies please beez. To back up your assertion that women who shave their legs and wear heels are looking for sex.

So, the converse is also true? Women who don't shave their legs and who wear flats are discouraging sexual attention?

Wait. Women shave their legs? Since when?

I need to talk to my wife.

Zomoniac

I dress for the type of attention I want in any given scenario. Unless I'm doing sport or something where practicality takes priority over appearance, of course I dress based on what I want people to think. Because they can see me. Unless I walk around with a large mirror or crane my head in an unnatural way at all times, I'm not usually getting a great self-visual. Why would I style myself purely for the only person who can't see me?

theCarlton

Ah, Carlton.

I wish I had seen your post earlier.

There, there. It's ok. This thread will either ignite into a ball of flames, become hysterically funny because prostitution is definitely funny, or it will suddenly get no more replies. All are acceptable. :happy: