Putting your KID on a leash
Replies
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I'm not a mom, but I don't think leashing your children is a good idea at all. Your parent's did not have to put you on leash when you were a child because you knew your limits and you knew when you got too far away from them that you were in trouble! I know a family with 5 children (4 of which are grade school age an under) and I have never seen their kids on a leash. I also have a sister who has three kids (2 under the age of 5) and her oldest is autisitic, and he can be outo f control at times, and she never used a leash. Both are complicated situations and I feel if they can avoid leashing their children, then just about anyone can. Obviously if you have a child with an extreme mental illness that doesn't understand the concept of personal safety then it may be needed. But I really don't see the point in having an average child attached to a leash, it just shows that the parent is not doing an adequate job of limit setting with their children.
As you said.... you are NOT a mom!
I agree. And also my mum *did* put me on reins when I was a toddler and we were walking on a busy road... why? because even back in the 70s toddlers could still suddenly run off into the traffic. She also used them to pick me up and carry me out of shops if I threw a tantrum in the shop. She'd grab the back of the harness (as opposed to the strap bit that you hold while the child's walking) and simply carry me out of the shop and wait for me to stop tantrumming before going back in again.
Fact is toddlers will always be toddlers and no amount of parenting will make a toddler have the same awareness of danger and ability to follow the parents rules as an older child, because their little brains are simply not developed enough. And however good a parent you are, the child will always go through a learning phase where they are learning the consequences of not following the rules, and in that phase you can't trust them to always do what they're supposed to, and so you have to keep them safe during that phase.0 -
As you said.... you are NOT a mom!
I did say that, and I posted my personal opinion. Do you have a problem with that? Because I'm pretty sure that's what the OP was asking for.
Well, being as you are not personally raising a child then. Yes I do have a problem with it. That's all.
I may not have rasied my own children, but there a lot of children in my family that I have helped care for throughout my life. I gave my personal opinion, and there is no reason for you to attack me for that. Just because it's not what you believe, does not mean you have to make it known that you don't agree with me. I don't have a problem with you disagreeing, so why should you have a problem with me. It's not like I'm saying we should outlaw them or anything. "To each his own" I don't know you from a hole in a wall and yet you felt the need to direct your anger at me and it's unnecessary. I simply answered the OP's question, which was what was everyones opinion on using leashes on children.0 -
My mom probably should have used one on me, I was a horrible child when we went to stores lol. I was at my worst in the mall.
I always took off and hid in clothing racks, and had to touch EVERYTHING.0 -
We sure are awesome!I used to love to hide in the clothing racks too!! We are awesome :laugh:0 -
As you said.... you are NOT a mom!
I did say that, and I posted my personal opinion. Do you have a problem with that? Because I'm pretty sure that's what the OP was asking for.
Well, being as you are not personally raising a child then. Yes I do have a problem with it. That's all.
I may not have rasied my own children, but there a lot of children in my family that I have helped care for throughout my life. I gave my personal opinion, and there is no reason for you to attack me for that. Just because it's not what you believe, does not mean you have to make it known that you don't agree with me. I don't have a problem with you disagreeing, so why should you have a problem with me. It's not like I'm saying we should outlaw them or anything. "To each his own" I don't know you from a hole in a wall and yet you felt the need to direct your anger at me and it's unnecessary. I simply answered the OP's question, which was what was everyones opinion on using leashes on children.
Working at a daycare, being a nanny, being an early childhood teacher, having younger siblings, or having multiple nieces and nephews is not and never will be the same thing as being a parent.0 -
I never put my kid on a leash and use to look down on people who chose to do this. Now that I am older I can see circumstances when one might decide that is the best choice for their kid. For example, I've seen kids who don't want to hold anyones hand when they are walking and they want to be independent, they don't want to sit in a stroller and are constantly trying to climb out (not to mention in stroller there is no exercise, something I have seen often on these boards about kids not being active enough). The above mentioned children I talk about aren't bad by any means, just have independent personalities and are active.
This! When my oldest was a toddler he refused to sit in a stroller. He wanted to be out walking. When him and I would go to high traffic areas I would sometimes use a leash- on about 3 or 4 occasions (Mall of America, Renaissance Festival, crowded zoo). I had people come up to me and yell at me. My son was not naughty or misbehaved. He just was very independent but was not yet old enough to understand the dangers around him. I did not do it because I was lazy and did not want to watch him. He loved wearing it and thought it was pretty cool. I used it so that he could be allowed to walk next to mom and I did not have to worry that he might see something cool and run off into the giant sea of people. I have not used it with my younger child. Not because I think it's wrong but rather because we haven't needed it. Whenever we have been in a high traffic area there have been 3-5 adults present (thank you, grandparents!).0 -
I am not saying this applies in every situation so please don't take it that way. Most of the children that I see on leashes are trying to break free of it, or wrapping it around their neck or getting into something they shouldnt be all while the parents is gazing off into his or her smart phone or shoving their faces or just completely ignoring the kid. Of course the kids is not being disciplined because the busy parent has no clue what is going on. Most leashed kids I have seen seem to be seeking attention from their parents for most of the time they are on the leash.
That being said, what my wife and I practice have people that question it as well. We are baby wearers. We spend the extra money on a carrier for each of our boys comfort and our own. We have a four year old and an 18 month old. I actually enjoy it a lot, even if I do get the occasional weird glance. Having my four year old on my back keeps him from having to yell at the top of his lungs to get my attention because he usually props his head on my shoulder so we are cheek to cheek almost. We can carry on a conversation as normal people would. I have both of my hands free at all times. It would take a crane to yank him off of my back and try to take him anywhere. He is close to me and I can feel him there all the time so I know he is safe. If he does wish to walk, he can get down and hold my hand and i just keep the carrier on my back. When he is tired, throw him right back up on my back. This was a life-saver on a recent family vacation. We took an Amtrak (highly reccomended if you are taking your time and enjoying your travel) across half of the country. With my hands free I could wheel my luggage and not worry about where my son was going or what he was doing. Or worrying about him getting bounced around by a suitcase or something to that effect. My wife and I walked everywhere during our layovers in D.C. and Chicago. It was amazing how much easier it made things. Our youngest was easliy rocked to sleep by the motion of my wife walking. I do not remember any of us complaining about it at all. I just do not see this being possible with a leash.
I feel that if you are depending on something of this nature for your child's safety, you may want to take a look at your ideas of safety.0 -
As you said.... you are NOT a mom!
I did say that, and I posted my personal opinion. Do you have a problem with that? Because I'm pretty sure that's what the OP was asking for.
Well, being as you are not personally raising a child then. Yes I do have a problem with it. That's all.
I may not have rasied my own children, but there a lot of children in my family that I have helped care for throughout my life. I gave my personal opinion, and there is no reason for you to attack me for that. Just because it's not what you believe, does not mean you have to make it known that you don't agree with me. I don't have a problem with you disagreeing, so why should you have a problem with me. It's not like I'm saying we should outlaw them or anything. "To each his own" I don't know you from a hole in a wall and yet you felt the need to direct your anger at me and it's unnecessary. I simply answered the OP's question, which was what was everyones opinion on using leashes on children.
I did not attack you. Not once. I just pointed out exactly what you said. That you are not a mom.0 -
I have to say....it is kinda funny when you see it in person.0
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Working at a daycare, being a nanny, being an early childhood teacher, having younger siblings, or having multiple nieces and nephews is not and never will be the same thing as being a parent.
I never claimed it was the same, but I did want to make the point that I do have experience with children. As i said, it was my personal opinion and it does not deserve to be met with hostility and anger.0 -
I'm not a mom, but I don't think leashing your children is a good idea at all. Your parent's did not have to put you on leash when you were a child because you knew your limits and you knew when you got too far away from them that you were in trouble! I know a family with 5 children (4 of which are grade school age an under) and I have never seen their kids on a leash. I also have a sister who has three kids (2 under the age of 5) and her oldest is autisitic, and he can be outo f control at times, and she never used a leash. Both are complicated situations and I feel if they can avoid leashing their children, then just about anyone can. Obviously if you have a child with an extreme mental illness that doesn't understand the concept of personal safety then it may be needed. But I really don't see the point in having an average child attached to a leash, it just shows that the parent is not doing an adequate job of limit setting with their children.
As you said.... you are NOT a mom!
She may not be a mom but she has some VALID points... " Obviously if you have a child with an EXTREME MENTAL ILLNESS that doesn't understand the concept of personal safety then it may be needed. But I really don't see the point in having an average child attached to a leash, it just shows that the parent is not doing an adequate job of limit setting with their children."0 -
I literally thought this was a joke but the replies suggest that there are infact folks putting their kids on a leash (and not just metaphorically...). Umm, wtf? I thought my parents were brutal and while they at times lead me to believe that they'd kill me, I cannot in a million years imagine them doing something like this and killing my self-esteem and my dignity....
well its not an actual leash and collar around the kids' neck like a dog. lol. the ones my mom used on us were rainbow colored velcro bracelets around our wrists with a cord. the other end of the cord went to a rainbow velcro bracelet my mom wore
Hey I'm not a parent so I cannot comment on whats a good practice and whats not. And with the world changing I guess in a way the whole "well, my parents didn't do that" argument can be ignored too but I cannot help and think that this kind of thing is not good for the kids self-esteem and self-respect. And at what age do you allow them to have freedom? 5? 9? 18? When he gets married at the age of 40? You're literally over protecting and pampering the kid and not preparing him for the real world from the get go. I am all for explaining the dangers of the real world and even scaring them of the bad people so they know what to do but if you're keeping them on a leash (literally) then you might be protecting them but you're gonna have to protect them this way their whole life because they're not learning anything. No matter how cute you make the leash, a leash is a leash.
Are you also against strollers?
I'd really like to know the answer to that question as well. How is a stroller better than a harness/leash?
Lots of people on this thread apparently live in glass houses.
I did answered it. Read up and learn to be more polite
Actually, I don't see that specific question was addressed. But I was more wanting information from anyone who has stated they would never, it's only for lazy parents, discipline your kids, etc, etc, etc.
Also, not sure how the three sentences I typed were impolite. Impolite, IMO, would be telling someone else how they should post.0 -
I am not saying this applies in every situation so please don't take it that way. Most of the children that I see on leashes are trying to break free of it, or wrapping it around their neck or getting into something they shouldnt be all while the parents is gazing off into his or her smart phone or shoving their faces or just completely ignoring the kid. Of course the kids is not being disciplined because the busy parent has no clue what is going on. Most leashed kids I have seen seem to be seeking attention from their parents for most of the time they are on the leash.
That being said, what my wife and I practice have people that question it as well. We are baby wearers. We spend the extra money on a carrier for each of our boys comfort and our own. We have a four year old and an 18 month old. I actually enjoy it a lot, even if I do get the occasional weird glance. Having my four year old on my back keeps him from having to yell at the top of his lungs to get my attention because he usually props his head on my shoulder so we are cheek to cheek almost. We can carry on a conversation as normal people would. I have both of my hands free at all times. It would take a crane to yank him off of my back and try to take him anywhere. He is close to me and I can feel him there all the time so I know he is safe. If he does wish to walk, he can get down and hold my hand and i just keep the carrier on my back. When he is tired, throw him right back up on my back. This was a life-saver on a recent family vacation. We took an Amtrak (highly reccomended if you are taking your time and enjoying your travel) across half of the country. With my hands free I could wheel my luggage and not worry about where my son was going or what he was doing. Or worrying about him getting bounced around by a suitcase or something to that effect. My wife and I walked everywhere during our layovers in D.C. and Chicago. It was amazing how much easier it made things. Our youngest was easliy rocked to sleep by the motion of my wife walking. I do not remember any of us complaining about it at all. I just do not see this being possible with a leash.
I feel that if you are depending on something of this nature for your child's safety, you may want to take a look at your ideas of safety.
I am an avid babywearer and own 8 different carriers. I just wore my 2 year old the other day and put my 4.5 year old in the Ergo to demonstrate how to use it.
Pregnant with 15 month old twins means that babywearing isn't an option. Again, when you respect your child's needs, to walk or ride, you are doing what is right. You wouldn't put your child in a stroller when he or she is happy to be in a carrier. You wouldn't wear your child if he or she was unhappy being worn. This is not a matter of discipline, but being in tune with your child.
Also, being on electronic devices can happen with a child on a leash, in a stroller, or a babycarrier.0 -
I have 2 kids. I had a harness like that. I never used it. But I was never in a crowded airport or similarly chaotic environment with a toddler either. I would have used it in that kind of situation, but still held the child's hand. Because sometimes even holding a hand, you can get separated. Or you go to hand your flight ticket to the attendant and your child runs off and there are too many people to find him. So while I never used one, I do think they have their place.
I have, however, seen a child in a harness that his mother tied to a stroller. I've also seen one instance in which the harness was tied to a park bench and the child was trying to crawl away while the mother ignored him. Those are not appropriate uses of the harness, IMO.0 -
When my son was just turned 5, we went to Disney World. We had rabbits at the time and had a rabbit leash in the car. My son actually WANTED us to put it on his wrist so that he wouldn't get lost from us in the throngs of people milling around when we went. It was a super busy time of the year. He said it made him feel better, so we did it. We laugh about it now, but he was serious at the time. lol0
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Working at a daycare, being a nanny, being an early childhood teacher, having younger siblings, or having multiple nieces and nephews is not and never will be the same thing as being a parent.
I never claimed it was the same, but I did want to make the point that I do have experience with children. As i said, it was my personal opinion and it does not deserve to be met with hostility and anger.
And I am pointing out that while you may have the experience of being around young children, it is not the same as having your own.0 -
What about in a kennel... Can you put kids in a kennel? I mean that would be cheaper than babysitting right?
I really have no thoughts on putting your kid on a leash, I don't pay that much attention to kids unless they are screaming when I am out in public. I have no children, I am however VERY close to my niece, as in i helped my brother raise her for 5 years (long story not getting into it) but lets just say I have had a taste of parenthood (don't argue with me you don't know the situation- at all) And I NEVER had to put her on a leash while out in public, she is a great kid. I do know some children are holy terrors and some parents get overwhelmed so I try not to judge what others do because I for one never know the situation that the people are in.
Do I like the leash on a kid... well sure.. I mean that way you always know where your kid is right? Or not... i have seen kids Houdini outta those leash/harness things - my younger brother was one of them.0 -
Working at a daycare, being a nanny, being an early childhood teacher, having younger siblings, or having multiple nieces and nephews is not and never will be the same thing as being a parent.
I never claimed it was the same, but I did want to make the point that I do have experience with children. As i said, it was my personal opinion and it does not deserve to be met with hostility and anger.
then you should prob practice discretion when giving your opinion, seeing as many people here use leashes. A simply "i dont agree with using leashes" would suffice then basically saying they arent doing a good job as a parent. That is straight up judgmental and rude.0 -
Check out comedy clip about this on YouTube: portlandia whose dog0
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I have one of the back/front packs (Can wear Elmo either way) with a tether so that I don't have to be a hunchback walking with my daughter to hold her hand. She is 1 1/2 years old now and I haven't used it yet. I think it is too short to be used like a leash though and doesn't look like one.
After seeing some of the judgemental comments on here I want to go find a more leash like one and start using it, with big smiles at all the cat ***** faces I would get out in public. I had no idea it was so controversal. I love getting judgey mcjudgersons panties in a wad. Thanks for the idea guys!0 -
I did not attack you. Not once. I just pointed out exactly what you said. That you are not a mom.
You said you have a problem with my reply because I am not a mom. The OP did not specifically request that mom's only answer this thread, so it was silly for you to tell me that you have a problem with my answer. It was MY answer and MY opinion. You have your own opinion and I did not find it necessary for you to single me out because of mine. Especially because it seems the general concensus of this thread is similar to my opinion. You may not think you attacked me, but you did, and I do not sit aside sliently when someone does that to me. I'm not looking for a fight, I was just trying to figure out why you decided to go after me. I specifically said I'm not a mom, for the main reason that a mother's opinion would be worth more than mine because they expereince these issues first hand.0 -
So... I have two children. The oldest I put on a leash when we were out in public for a year or two from 18 months to about three years of age. I used it as a backup for holding hands, as she had nursemaid's elbow. Nursemaid's elbow is where the lower arm dislocates from the elbow. The younger the child is when it first happens, the more frequently it tends to happen and the easier it is for the arm to pop out of joint. As it happend to her when she was young, it happend to us alot over the next 4 years, from her doing a pushup, rolling over in bed at night, playing on the playground, to doing a cartwheel in gymnastics class. Most frequently, however, was that it happened when she tugged while holding our hands. POP! Dislocated. And it was either a trip to to the doctor's office ($25) or a trip to the ER ($2,000) to set it. We used a leash as a backup for when she tugged. We had to drop her hand immediately, or risk a dislocation. So, for me the leash was used as a backup so she a) wouldn't run away, and b) wouldn't dislocate her arm, but c) still be safely in our control.
It had nothing to do with whether or not she was "trained" but the fact that I couldn't hold her arm while she tugged to go see something, pulled, or temper tantrumed, or went limp. Try parenting a two, three, or four year old who does none of the above ever.
So, before you judge a child on a leash, know that it isn't always for the "lazy parents" but also can be used as a tool for those who wish to leave their house but still need to keep their children uninjured and safe.
I agree that there is a rare occasion, like this, where it is useful. Most people I see who have their kids on the leash though, are not paying attention to their kid at all.0 -
I've not read the replies, but I used to think they were awful. Now, I have a one year old (almost 2) who does exactly what he wants no matter how much discipline I give him!! And believe me, I do!! I don't have a leash, but I could see if I was alone somewhere like an airport or Disney, how it could be helpful, cause I have 3 really young children. I think he would prefer it to being strapped in strollers for hours on end. At least they would get to walk and be active!!!0
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I can see why people use them i mean if ur in a crowded place like a fair or a celebration then ur kid cant just wonder off and nobody can just snatch them, its not all about how the kid acts maybe its because they dont want their kid running off.
personally i havent used one because i cant stop freaking laughing at the fact that a kids on a lease..it just seems kinda funny to me, but if i saw someone using one in a proper manor then i wouldnt think anything besides they dont want their kid running off and getting lost.0 -
You know, that whole "you are not a mom" thing really irks me. It's not like being able to push something out of your vagina makes you a decent parent. It's the heart, soul and mind behind it. Adoptive mothers are mothers just like any other. People who care-give and volunteer show characteristics of maternity. There is so much more to motherhood than "but you're not a mom."
It's nice to know that since I'm going through menopause already at such an early age, I never get to have an opinion on child care.0 -
Woah, nobody said adoptive parents are not parents - those are your words.0
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Working at a daycare, being a nanny, being an early childhood teacher, having younger siblings, or having multiple nieces and nephews is not and never will be the same thing as being a parent.
I never claimed it was the same, but I did want to make the point that I do have experience with children. As i said, it was my personal opinion and it does not deserve to be met with hostility and anger.
And I am pointing out that while you may have the experience of being around young children, it is not the same as having your own.
This post is about opinions and havng your own kids does not make a person an expert with how to deal with kids.. Every child is different and every situation is different..0 -
I did not attack you. Not once. I just pointed out exactly what you said. That you are not a mom.
You said you have a problem with my reply because I am not a mom. The OP did not specifically request that mom's only answer this thread, so it was silly for you to tell me that you have a problem with my answer. It was MY answer and MY opinion. You have your own opinion and I did not find it necessary for you to single me out because of mine. Especially because it seems the general concensus of this thread is similar to my opinion. You may not think you attacked me, but you did, and I do not sit aside sliently when someone does that to me. I'm not looking for a fight, I was just trying to figure out why you decided to go after me. I specifically said I'm not a mom, for the main reason that a mother's opinion would be worth more than mine because they expereince these issues first hand.
"for the main reason that a mother's opinion would be worth more than mine because they expereince these issues first hand."
is exactly why. Sorry.0 -
Woah, nobody said adoptive parents are not parents - those are your words.
I know that. I also brought forth caregivers. I'm saying that motherhood and child-rearing are much deeper subjects than if a female can give birth.0 -
Working at a daycare, being a nanny, being an early childhood teacher, having younger siblings, or having multiple nieces and nephews is not and never will be the same thing as being a parent.
I never claimed it was the same, but I did want to make the point that I do have experience with children. As i said, it was my personal opinion and it does not deserve to be met with hostility and anger.
And I am pointing out that while you may have the experience of being around young children, it is not the same as having your own.
This post is about opinions and havng your own kids does not make a person an expert with how to deal with kids.. Every child is different and every situation is different..
Then you must have failed to read my other posts because I clearly stated that a good parent meets the needs of the child. That may mean a stroller, a babycarrier, a cart, or a leash.0
This discussion has been closed.
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