Lying on a job application (teenager)

Options
12357

Replies

  • foxyforce
    foxyforce Posts: 3,078 Member
    Options
    Just tell him to call the place and say that he misunderstood, and he had accidently written his step-mom down. Help him find a new reference.

    or she could just give him the reference. this makes him look incompetent.
  • stagknight
    stagknight Posts: 130 Member
    Options
    I used to do references for my married sister but the thing was she had actually worked for me and as we never have seen eye to eye she knew it would be honest and not over the top gushing.
  • cretur
    cretur Posts: 19
    Options
    No way don't lie for them, I would be pissed if my kid even asked me to do so..
  • cretur
    cretur Posts: 19
    Options
    Just tell him to call the place and say that he misunderstood, and he had accidently written his step-mom down. Help him find a new reference.

    That will surely get him the job LOL
  • deaftolight
    deaftolight Posts: 20 Member
    Options
    My resume is a web of lies.
  • nwhitley
    nwhitley Posts: 619
    Options
    I don't think that you're being unreasonable at all. It drives me nuts to hear people complain about their kids lying and then see them lying for/about their kids. My kids know that I won't lie for them. My 11 year old is upset that all of his friends have facebook accounts, but I won't let him because you're suppose to be 13, and I won't lie about his age. I know people that tell their kids to lie about their ages to save a few bucks on meals at restaurants. . . . How much is your/their integrity worth?

    Take a stand. You will sleep better knowing that you did not compromise your morals, and you will be teaching him a valuable lesson!

    Absolutely!
  • macpatti
    macpatti Posts: 4,280 Member
    Options
    Most of the calls I get as a reference just say someone listed me as a reference. They don't specifically ask the nature of the relationship. They may just ask you how long you've known him and what qualities you see in him that would make him a good employee. IF they ask you if you're a family friend, you'll need to decide if saying yes is a lie or partially true. Now, if he were asking you to lie about previous jobs, listed you as an employer, that's different.

    Did he ask you first? I don't think I'd throw him under the bus if I got a call, but I'd ask him not to do it again and suggest other reference options for him.
  • sizzle92
    sizzle92 Posts: 1,015 Member
    Options
    I am laughing at a couple of things here......good to know all those adopted people out there can use the people that raised them as job references simply because they aren't blood line.......and I find it even more hilarious that people say to just do it even though my dss has MANY family friends to use. Family friends don't raise my dss. I do. Big difference.

    My husband and I agree. So I got my Friday afternoon fun. ;)
  • sizzle92
    sizzle92 Posts: 1,015 Member
    Options
    My resume is a web of lies.

    That's inspirational. Mine isn't.
  • Darkskinned88
    Darkskinned88 Posts: 1,177 Member
    Options
    i dont see the big deal. Yes you should discourage lying but if your honest opinion is that he's a good kid, do you think he can do the job well then the only harm here is that they insist on professional references from a teen
  • macpatti
    macpatti Posts: 4,280 Member
    Options
    I am laughing at a couple of things here......good to know all those adopted people out there can use the people that raised them as job references simply because they aren't blood line.......and I find it even more hilarious that people say to just do it even though my dss has MANY family friends to use. Family friends don't raise my dss. I do. Big difference.

    My husband and I agree. So I got my Friday afternoon fun. ;)

    Huh?
  • WickedBean
    WickedBean Posts: 244 Member
    Options
    My step-father has been a reference on my resume for a long time -since before he married my mom actually - I was an adult before him and my mother even met, but it doesn't say family friend it lists his profession. He has NEVER been called. I have other references on my resume also.

    I used to do the calls for reference checking and I can tell you right now I would call former employers before I ever called a family friend, or a teacher , or a preacher, etc. because face it you are only going to pick people who like you (Ie. Favorite teacher etc.) as references. If he has employers and they are on there chances are that is who they are going to call before they venture into friend's of the family territory.

    I don't see why you needed to post this if you had already made up your mind though. Yes discourage lying, by I don't feel this was really a lie.

    I did read that the OP doesn't lie... that right there is a lie because everyone at one point in time or an other has told a lie - even if just to save someones feelings from being hurt.
  • oregonzoo
    oregonzoo Posts: 4,251 Member
    Options
    I am laughing at a couple of things here......good to know all those adopted people out there can use the people that raised them as job references simply because they aren't blood line.......and I find it even more hilarious that people say to just do it even though my dss has MANY family friends to use. Family friends don't raise my dss. I do. Big difference.

    My husband and I agree. So I got my Friday afternoon fun. ;)

    WTF I'm confused?
  • hailzp
    hailzp Posts: 903 Member
    Options
    I have no problem with this. It is hardly like he is putting you as an actual reference for a job he had previously. Kids need all the help they can get with jobs at the minute and telling them he has a good character will not be the reason he gets the job. They will be able to see it all for himself. I would lie for any of my friends or family trying to get a job or into a flat unless of course it was my place of work.
  • foxyforce
    foxyforce Posts: 3,078 Member
    Options
    I am laughing at a couple of things here......good to know all those adopted people out there can use the people that raised them as job references simply because they aren't blood line.......and I find it even more hilarious that people say to just do it even though my dss has MANY family friends to use. Family friends don't raise my dss. I do. Big difference.

    My husband and I agree. So I got my Friday afternoon fun. ;)

    WTF I'm confused?

    she has taken to mfp before about her "degenerate" step son, talking about how she took him in and no one else wanted him, blahblahblah, and then won't listen to reason.
  • iammegs
    iammegs Posts: 38 Member
    Options
    The main issue is that he lied on the application. It's one thing to list a stepmother and SAY it's a stepmother - there are all kinds of legitimate reasons why someone would do that - though as an employer I would be leery of her recommendation if she had been in the picture a long time. But in general, it would speak a lot of the family if there was a good family dynamic between the two. Since he's lied, though - that should be the end of it.

    I know it's tough to get a first job. I lived abroad in high school (so I couldn't work legally) and came back to find that many jobs required actual paid work experience. But I never had an issue with references - I asked high school teachers, professors, people who were in no way related to me, and counselors. And when I finally got that first paid job, I worked so hard because that reference would be gold.

    Years later, I am a teacher of 11th and 12th grade students. Believe me when I say most teachers will strive to find something positive to say about a student. Even if I can't guarantee a positive reference (especially when it gets into punctuality), I check their grades on my computer and recommend another teacher who will.

    Again, teaching high school, I know that children follow what they see others do. Please, please, please don't let your (step)-son get away with lying. He had a chance to have your reference. Please don't encourage a world of liars.
  • sizzle92
    sizzle92 Posts: 1,015 Member
    Options
    I am laughing at a couple of things here......good to know all those adopted people out there can use the people that raised them as job references simply because they aren't blood line.......and I find it even more hilarious that people say to just do it even though my dss has MANY family friends to use. Family friends don't raise my dss. I do. Big difference.

    My husband and I agree. So I got my Friday afternoon fun. ;)

    WTF I'm confused?

    she has taken to mfp before about her "degenerate" step son, talking about how she took him in and no one else wanted him, blahblahblah, and then won't listen to reason.

    Seriously? Degenerate? Oh please. And who says what you say here on MFP is "reason?" LMAO!
  • sizzle92
    sizzle92 Posts: 1,015 Member
    Options
    The main issue is that he lied on the application. It's one thing to list a stepmother and SAY it's a stepmother - there are all kinds of legitimate reasons why someone would do that - though as an employer I would be leery of her recommendation if she had been in the picture a long time. But in general, it would speak a lot of the family if there was a good family dynamic between the two. Since he's lied, though - that should be the end of it.

    I know it's tough to get a first job. I lived abroad in high school (so I couldn't work legally) and came back to find that many jobs required actual paid work experience. But I never had an issue with references - I asked high school teachers, professors, people who were in no way related to me, and counselors. And when I finally got that first paid job, I worked so hard because that reference would be gold.

    Years later, I am a teacher of 11th and 12th grade students. Believe me when I say most teachers will strive to find something positive to say about a student. Even if I can't guarantee a positive reference (especially when it gets into punctuality), I check their grades on my computer and recommend another teacher who will.

    Again, teaching high school, I know that children follow what they see others do. Please, please, please don't let your (step)-son get away with lying. He had a chance to have your reference. Please don't encourage a world of liars.

    Love. You sound so smart and well rounded. :)
  • sizzle92
    sizzle92 Posts: 1,015 Member
    Options
    Yes nobody else wanted him. Not even his dad that I married? I wish I was a smart wordly 26 year old again!
  • DBiddle69
    DBiddle69 Posts: 682 Member
    Options
    You wouldn't go and inch out of your way to help your own kid? ****ed up.

    Never saw anywhere in here where she said she would not help....said she is not willing to lie.

    Here is what she said...."So my step son put me as a reference using my maiden name and listed me as a "friend of the family" on a job application. I told him I won't lie for him. Thoughts? Am I being unreasonable?"

    Based on this what I got out of it was...if they call and ask for her by her maiden name she would correct it and if they ask about being a friend of the family she would say she is now his step mom. Again, these are the only things in there that are lies and she said she would not lie for him....how is that f***ed up??

Categories