Being Black

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joselo2
joselo2 Posts: 461
in Chit-Chat
What does it mean to be black? Is it more than a race? Someone told me I am 'rubbish at being black'. I live in a mainly white area, my friends and everyone around me is therefore mostly white. Racially, I identify as mixed race/latino/person of colour/black depending on whatever I want. I'm a happy go lucky boy. Why do I feel so bad that someone told me I am apathetic and not doing what I should? I just try to be a good PERSON, I don't think too much about being a good black person. Sometimes I guess I would like to know more people my own race so I don't feel a little different ffrom time to time, but I don't like to say it because it sounds like I am ungrateful for my lovely friends, when really I love them, and it isn't their fault we don't live in a diverse area. I hope it is not bad. I just interested in some thoughts because this is a forum of people cleverer than me! I hope I cause no offence. xxxxxx
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Replies

  • cobracars
    cobracars Posts: 949 Member
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    I suppose you are busy trying to just be 'a person' and other people are busy trying to promote their agenda.

    If you are gay you are supposed to promote it, if you are black you must promote all things black, women must support women's rights, etc.
    Unless you are comfortable being who you are and are not looking to blame others and take from others to make you whole.
    If you are strong, secure, independent, then you can do whatever you want and you don't have to bow down to others who accuse you of not being black enough.

    As a heterosexual white male I am not allowed to promote anything.
  • shaynak112
    shaynak112 Posts: 751 Member
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    It's all stereotypes. It sucks that they are out there. Whoever told you that you're "rubbish at being black" is just someone who is being stereotypical. He or she is probably not very diverse. A lot of people are really caught up in their background or their race or something like that and they try and live out those stereotypes as much as they can.
    I mean, think about it, there are stereotypes for everything. One that isn't negative that pops out at me is that Asians are often perceived as being really smart. So if there was a dumb person who happened to be Asian, that would be another occasion where someone might say they are rubbish at being Asian.
    So it's just kind of something like that.

    This kind of thing happens a lot more in small towns. Where I grew up, it was ONLY white people (I'm white too) so I don't think I even saw an Asian or black person for the first 15 years of my life (except on TV lol). But now that I live in a big city, I have friends of many different races and colours and it just isn't a big deal. People don't act black or act white or all that. People are just people.
  • joselo2
    joselo2 Posts: 461
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    Yeah. I am gay too as it happens! I see what you mean about bad thing of being white straight male is not being allowed to promote anything. The good thing of it though is not HAVING to, because I don't think I am up to representing anyone, I am just trying to do a good job of being one individual! I don't mean to let any side down, I don't even know I am on a side. I don't think I even am able to express what I mean, I just want to be happy and good.
  • RainHoward
    RainHoward Posts: 1,599 Member
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    If you're a good human who cares what color your skin pigmentation happens to be.
  • tmanfromtexas
    tmanfromtexas Posts: 928 Member
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    If you're a good human who cares what color your skin pigmentation happens to be.

    Amen. I dont care what your skin color is, I care about how people treat people.
  • poshcouture
    poshcouture Posts: 610
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    I can relate to this. I have always been told that I "talk like a White girl." My response is always, "Am I supposed to speak sone other way?" I grew up in a predominantly Caucasian area; however, it is not tbe reason why I speak "properly." My mother was always the one correcting my English as a child and it became habitual. I'm not "trying to be White" as some of my Black friends have put it - I'm just being me. Besides my background is diverse.
  • joselo2
    joselo2 Posts: 461
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    I can relate to this. I have always been told that I "talk like a White girl." My response is always, "Am I supposed to speak sone other way?" I grew up in a predominantly Caucasian area; however, it is not tbe reason why I speak "properly." My mother was always the one correcting my English as a child and it became habitual. I'm not "trying to be White" as some of my Black friends have put it - I'm just being me. Besides my background is diverse.

    YES! There is a time and place for slang and dialect but being able to talk standard english is a real life skill, in order to communicate with all kinds of people (not just your own social/racial group) and for contexts like professionally or academically. To say standard english is just for white people does black people a disservice, as if we aren't intelligent and have no place in professional/academic and mixed parts of society! I don't see why people have to be stereotypical, people can do what they want, regardless of race or anything else.

    I think what I was feeling is that I was torn between two things. In a way I wish I had more black friends (as well as white friends) but then I feel mean to the friends I have. I experience racism sometimes but I on't usually feel particularly oppressed if it makes sense, which is good for me, but people saying I should open my eyes and get involved in politics and social justice to be good black person. Oh my god, I see what they mean, I want to show solidarity and do my bit whatever that is, but I don't want to reject my life and the people in it, they are really great and never did bad by me, serious. Sorry, rambling. xxxxx
  • Redskins76
    Redskins76 Posts: 68
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    In true honesty whether you are black or white it is important to stay healthy because when you're overweight it will affect anybody or any race! So lets all stick together on being healthy and in shape and hopefully that will keep any negative thoughts away!
  • charl2712
    charl2712 Posts: 38 Member
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    I've experienced the same thing. From my earliest memory I can remember my cousins and family teasing me about the way I acted, saying I'm trying to be "white", when in fact I was just being me. Because of the way I speak, some people are like "your stuck up and a snob and trying to be white", but my Mum and Dad always corrected me to speak correct english (and they're Jamaican) and just to be who I am. Because I listen to different types of music, enjoy eating and cooking different types of cuisine and going travelling and just trying to get the best out of life, I am therefore labelled as a "coconut or bounty" because of this and it's because I just have an open mind and rather than living a sheltered exsistance, I want to experience everything and anything and be friends with whoever, just so long as they have a good heart and I get on with them. You shouldn't worry about others' who want to try and catergorise you or make you feel small, because there the ones who are missing out on so many oppurtunities and experiences in life, and that's one thing I learnt after spending most of my life trying to please others.
  • Swissmiss
    Swissmiss Posts: 8,754 Member
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    It doesn't matter. God made you as you are and He loves you.
  • leopard_barbie
    leopard_barbie Posts: 279 Member
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    I'm a straight white female so haven't really experienced the race or sexuality issue myself, though I have white, black and asian friends as well as straight and gay friends and I love them for who they are not what they are. I just wanted to say that you seem like a really genuine lovely guy and it's refreshing to hear people just wanting to be nice individuals rather than promoting an agenda or behaving the way they feel they're expected to xxx
  • Witchmoo
    Witchmoo Posts: 261 Member
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    If you're a good human who cares what color your skin pigmentation happens to be.

    Absolutely....carry on being a good person..... :bigsmile:
  • Kara_xxx
    Kara_xxx Posts: 635 Member
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    Yeah. I am gay too as it happens! I see what you mean about bad thing of being white straight male is not being allowed to promote anything. The good thing of it though is not HAVING to, because I don't think I am up to representing anyone, I am just trying to do a good job of being one individual! I don't mean to let any side down, I don't even know I am on a side. I don't think I even am able to express what I mean, I just want to be happy and good.

    And good for you!!! :flowerforyou: :drinker:

    We all get it in some shape or form from folk with huge chips on their shoulder (apologies if this fails to translate well into American English... a chip on the shoulder indicates a psychological "hangup" of some sort not walking around with fries on your back!!).

    I know women who define themselves as "feminists" for instance and who think they can go around telling other women how they should conduct themselves.

    These people have an agenda that focuses on changing the world so much, they often don't take much time to look at themselves.

    Be happy, be you.
  • HeiressRoxy
    HeiressRoxy Posts: 9
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    Be yourself. We are products of our environment. If you have grown up in a predominantly white neighborhood then you would tend to behave, speak etc like your counterparts. There are Caucasians that have grown up in a predominantly black neighborhood and are products of their environment.

    What is acting black? What is acting white? There is no definition of the two. People are people and you should just be yourself.

    Have a great day!
  • joselo2
    joselo2 Posts: 461
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    Feminists have it right, I mean, gender equality is to aim for! But telling other women how to behave is not feminism. I do think some groups are still not equal in society, even though progress is being made- like, people of colour, gay people, transgender people etc. and it is right to fight for equality and work towards this, all of us as allies. But I do not see how calling people for 'acting white'
    OMG, charl, people who call you a bounty or coconut, they are nearly as bad s someone who says racist things! Taking that to it's conclusion, all black people should act a certain way, and white people another (saying it is cultural approriation for white people/non black people of colour to like things from other cultures), and that means cultural seperatism, and I beleive that is what many years of civil rights movement was trying to get away from!
    xxx
  • Iceman1800
    Iceman1800 Posts: 476
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    Let's just say I don't really have any black friends. I have quite a few friends who are black tho.
  • joselo2
    joselo2 Posts: 461
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    Let's just say I don't really have any black friends. I have quite a few friends who are black tho.

    May I ask a little about what this means? Just trying to get more insight.

    It's a tricky one, like I think black people got a right to learn about our history and celebrate our culture, and to talk openly about issues like oppression and racism, without being made to feel bad for making some white people uncomfortble. I think people have a right to find their own identity without other people denying it (I don't like when people say things like 'I don't even see you as black'). But I don't think it is healthy for this to be at the exclusion of everything else. I think with understanding and love of humanity we can be better off for living together.
  • DetroitDarin
    DetroitDarin Posts: 955 Member
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    what is ANYBODY any more?

    I'm black, english, native american, and german. I guess. I can only know what I'm told about it. My colour is not my indentity.
  • Iceman1800
    Iceman1800 Posts: 476
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    Let's just say I don't really have any black friends. I have quite a few friends who are black tho.

    May I ask a little about what this means? Just trying to get more insight.

    It's a tricky one, like I think black people got a right to learn about our history and celebrate our culture, and to talk openly about issues like oppression and racism, without being made to feel bad for making some white people uncomfortble. I think people have a right to find their own identity without other people denying it (I don't like when people say things like 'I don't even see you as black'). But I don't think it is healthy for this to be at the exclusion of everything else. I think with understanding and love of humanity we can be better off for living together.
    what I am saying is that a lot of my friends are black. I never refer to them as my "black friends". They are simply my friends.
  • poshcouture
    poshcouture Posts: 610
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    what is ANYBODY any more?

    I'm black, english, native american, and german. I guess. I can only know what I'm told about it. My colour is not my indentity.

    This!

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