Need to Vent!!! I THINK I LOVE MY HUSBAND

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  • dmpizza
    dmpizza Posts: 3,321 Member
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    Thank your husband for his service, but make it clear to him that life isn't over and the heavier he is, the harder everything is.
  • brendaschmitt1
    brendaschmitt1 Posts: 218
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    For Pete's sake, give the guy a break! Here you are demanding attention when your husband has a really nice bag of chips sitting there that need eating. I mean, they could be vinegar and salt flavored and then you'd stand no chance at all....

    Sometimes Men just need their chip time.....sheesh!

    But seriously, maybe he feels intimidated by your new found healthier ways? Also, if you are telling him he is overweight and eating junk, that's probably not very helpful....for your sex life.

    I agree he could be intimidated. Us women sometimes forget that men have feelings too. They just hide them better.
  • 55AngelH55
    55AngelH55 Posts: 117
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    Girl, if he doesn't pay attention to you, you need to start leaving the house all dressed up and looking good. Even if it's going out to the store, let other men compliment you and make you feel good. You can let him know about it when you get home. Start going out without him and make him wonder what you're up to. It might take some time, so yeah, maybe you'll need some of what the others suggested.... In fact, that might get him interested. Stop doing the things you do for him on an every day basis (whether it be cooking dinner or washing his clothes, etc.) and let him know if he's not gonna take care of your needs, you're not going to take care of his. In fact, (thank God my husband doesn't like sports) but I'd go stand in front of him with a pair of scissors, walk over to the TV cord, and threaten to make sure he won't have the choice to pick the tv over you anymore. You probably need to tell him what you told us, and tell him seriously. Let him know exactly how he's making you feel.


    Did you seriously just suggest she make her husband jealous? Seriously. You seriously suggested that she go get attention from other men on purpose? You really think that's gonna fix something?


    Yeeeaaaa... That may have been the worst slew of advice ever. lol I see where you're coming from, but men need respect - just like women need adoration. This won't work. Believe me. Been there. Tried that. Got kicked to the curb. As well as called a sl** on my way from the doorstep to the curb. Not your best option. lol TRUST.
  • ExplorinLauren
    ExplorinLauren Posts: 991 Member
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    Luckily my husband is not only a sweet man, he is a horny man. LOL He's always down for sex. Sometimes even when I'm not, but then he just convinces me lol ..
    Only thing I could suggest is what is already known ... lingerie ... sneak attack... kinkiness...buy a wig and pretend to be someone completely different... But it sounds like you've already tried some of that... :(
    Sorry! Good luck!
  • fatboypup
    fatboypup Posts: 1,873 Member
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    Maybe he's been hanging around my wife
  • AmbitionStrong
    AmbitionStrong Posts: 46 Member
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    Im in the SAME situation with my man, (Marine).

    I will tell you my view on my man, and maybe you can understand a little....

    His diet is awful, fast food, food at work, etc. He works late, and rarely eats with us, he is a little biased because I have experimented with some crazy **** before, so I almost dont blame him.

    He has really let himself go. But he's been randomly saying somethings about being more active (but not setting a goal) Sometimes he says something about "I hit some pushups" I guess trying to feel better. He's mentioned going running with me twice, but it never happens (he's never around/at work/sleeping) Oh, and I don't really run.

    He's gotten to the age where youth is fading and nutritional deficiencies are setting in.... His testosterone levels are waning, because he doesn't get enough healthy meat and fat or exercise, he eats too much junk fats and oils and grains, if he even does eat. He had horrible bad bowl movements. He's been 95% dead in the bed for years now, and its really causing many **** storms in our relationship.

    He's very self conscience and was jealous of the guys I worked out with at crossfit.

    I really feel that a few weeks of nutritional therapy of paleo/primal type foods would change my man for the better, raising his testosterone, making him feel more like a man, and in return we both would be happy.....
  • kindlewalker
    kindlewalker Posts: 9 Member
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    It is great that you are losing weight, but skinny doesn't equal sexy. Sexy can be anything from Katie Couric to Adelle. Women can be beautiful at any size.

    Don't know what to say about your husband. A horny woman is a great turn on for me. Hope you two get together on this.
  • Kairunz
    Kairunz Posts: 51
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    Wow I don't get it. If my wife offers im there! I have heard that exercise really ups females sex drive my wife deffinately shows signs of that.

    Maybe get a bit aggressive, Get naked turn off the telly and sit on his lap:).

    I seriously don't understand though. Not once in 8 years of being married have I not wanted to when my wife is the one suggesting it.
  • caseyjade88
    caseyjade88 Posts: 89 Member
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    Girl, if he doesn't pay attention to you, you need to start leaving the house all dressed up and looking good. Even if it's going out to the store, let other men compliment you and make you feel good. You can let him know about it when you get home. Start going out without him and make him wonder what you're up to. It might take some time, so yeah, maybe you'll need some of what the others suggested.... In fact, that might get him interested. Stop doing the things you do for him on an every day basis (whether it be cooking dinner or washing his clothes, etc.) and let him know if he's not gonna take care of your needs, you're not going to take care of his. In fact, (thank God my husband doesn't like sports) but I'd go stand in front of him with a pair of scissors, walk over to the TV cord, and threaten to make sure he won't have the choice to pick the tv over you anymore. You probably need to tell him what you told us, and tell him seriously. Let him know exactly how he's making you feel.

    I don't agree with that one bit. Making your spouse jealous on purpose is only asking for problems. If my husband were to do that to me, our marriage would probably end faster than it would if we just simply weren't having sex. Fixing one problem with another does nothing but create TWO problems. Just sayin'...
  • iluvprettyshoes
    iluvprettyshoes Posts: 605 Member
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    I have the same problem. The 80 year old lady that sits next to me in choir said I need to get a boyfriend lol. She's got 3 :)
  • angieleighbyrd
    angieleighbyrd Posts: 989 Member
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    Girl, if he doesn't pay attention to you, you need to start leaving the house all dressed up and looking good. Even if it's going out to the store, let other men compliment you and make you feel good. You can let him know about it when you get home. Start going out without him and make him wonder what you're up to. It might take some time, so yeah, maybe you'll need some of what the others suggested.... In fact, that might get him interested. Stop doing the things you do for him on an every day basis (whether it be cooking dinner or washing his clothes, etc.) and let him know if he's not gonna take care of your needs, you're not going to take care of his. In fact, (thank God my husband doesn't like sports) but I'd go stand in front of him with a pair of scissors, walk over to the TV cord, and threaten to make sure he won't have the choice to pick the tv over you anymore. You probably need to tell him what you told us, and tell him seriously. Let him know exactly how he's making you feel.


    Did you seriously just suggest she make her husband jealous? Seriously. You seriously suggested that she go get attention from other men on purpose? You really think that's gonna fix something?


    Yeeeaaaa... That may have been the worst slew of advice ever. lol I see where you're coming from, but men need respect - just like women need adoration. This won't work. Believe me. Been there. Tried that. Got kicked to the curb. As well as called a sl** on my way from the doorstep to the curb. Not your best option. lol TRUST.


    Yeah...my libido pretty much died after we had our last baby. I know my husband has been frustrated as all hell with me (it's slowly getting better the more active I am though. YAY) But seriously, if his method would have been to go get attention from other women on purpose, it would have killed it even further and my response probably would have been to tell him to go ahead and get it from other girls cause he's never getting it from me again! No not the way to fix something. I get hit on a lot when I'm out. Mostly by the crackhead at BP. I always take it as a compliment and kindly flash my wedding band, but I would never try to get hit on on purpose. I have way too much respect for my husband to do something like that.
  • ExplorinLauren
    ExplorinLauren Posts: 991 Member
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    Wow I don't get it. If my wife offers im there! I have heard that exercise really ups females sex drive my wife deffinately shows signs of that.

    Maybe get a bit aggressive, Get naked turn off the telly and sit on his lap:).

    I seriously don't understand though. Not once in 8 years of being married have I not wanted to when my wife is the one suggesting it.

    Agreed. There is def something going on in my opinion... Not just saying hes screwing someone else, but something emotional, psychological, something. Could be something even military related. Or something in the relationship itself.
  • ednjenn
    ednjenn Posts: 40 Member
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    NM
  • zoombaby
    zoombaby Posts: 14 Member
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    I have a solution. It will take few steps though.

    Starting from tomorrow, start adding a little bit of Viagra(Cialis would work as well) to his drinks, do it without his knowledge of course and keep doing that every day little by little higher the dose, at one point he will want to have a sex so badly, then you decline - you can say "I have a headache" or whatever bull**** sentence you woman's use in that kind of situation. Tomorrow of course you don't need to higher the dose since you find his "breaking point" and proceed having sex with him.
  • sunflowerfaith
    sunflowerfaith Posts: 28
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    Give him no attention. As soon as he feels like he isn't wanted anymore he'll be the one begging for it. Trust me.
  • micahnelson
    micahnelson Posts: 92 Member
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    Digging all the statements saying women should just force the issue and start unzipping his pants even if he doesn't want it.

    If a guy does that to a girl there is another name for it...

    Your husband is depressed, doesn't love himself, or doesn't love you. If he hasn't talked about leaving you, its probably a combination of the first two. Don't belittle your husband on the internet to strangers, it clearly shows you don't respect him.

    To be honest, I would be a little embarrassed to admit to a group of strangers that my spouse wasn't interested in me.
  • caseyjade88
    caseyjade88 Posts: 89 Member
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    Give him no attention. As soon as he feels like he isn't wanted anymore he'll be the once begging for it. Trust me.

    Agreed! I stopped trying, and now my hubby is the one doing the begging lol.
  • J3timez
    J3timez Posts: 35
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    Wow, WTF is going on with these husbands. I wouldn't turn my wife down if I was a coma...Geez. this is how affairs start.
  • 55AngelH55
    55AngelH55 Posts: 117
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    Wow, WTF is going on with these husbands. I wouldn't turn my wife down if I was a coma...Geez. this is how affairs start.

    bahaha!!!! best response EVER!!!
  • ohmariposa
    ohmariposa Posts: 372 Member
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    Wow, WTF is going on with these husbands. I wouldn't turn my wife down if I was a coma...Geez. this is how affairs start.
    hilarious...I love the coma comment! :laugh:

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