Need to Vent!!! I THINK I LOVE MY HUSBAND

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  • SVCat
    SVCat Posts: 1,483 Member
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    You got to keep it spicey! Have you asked him about fantasies or fetishes? Do you ever mix it up and not use the bed for a change? Any oils, edible undies, include toys for foreplay, etc? Is there even foreplay? How involved are you? Do you use different positions or is always the same old routine? How about using some role playing?

    A mixture of all this will defintely keep things interesting....if your man is still not slinging that purple helmeted yogurt thrower around then like Obama said, "It's time for a change!"
  • weighlossforbaby
    weighlossforbaby Posts: 847 Member
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    He maybe is depressed or has something wrong with him that needs to be medically looked at. My husband was in the National Guard and he seemed to gain his weight while being in the military but when he retired last year he lost 40 lbs. Your husband might have deeper issues he might need to go through so gaming and eating is his way of coping. I dunno, you should tell him how you feel.
  • RockaholicMama
    RockaholicMama Posts: 786 Member
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    adameve.com

    you can find something to play with here!

    This. Check Fredrick's of Hollywood and Hustler, too. Lots of fun goodies to enjoy.
  • DeeDel32
    DeeDel32 Posts: 542 Member
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    I will honestly never understand what is so magical about sex to the point people just feel like they're about to DIE without it. maybe it's because I'm a virgin, I don't know. I get it's important to a relationship and it apparently feels good but jesus...

    yes, it's because you're a virgin. when you find the one you're meant to be with, you'll discover it's the most wonderful physical expression of your love.
  • Here2GetFit
    Here2GetFit Posts: 292
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    As for the OP, I just can't relate to turning down sex. Even when I was at my heaviest, I never turned it down.
  • Beezil
    Beezil Posts: 1,677 Member
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    I can tell you from experience that if you "beg" for it all the time or even just bring it up often, it will become a chore in his mind, not something to be enjoyed.

    Just try being more casual with him about it, I found that is what has worked for me. Hubby still doesn't want it as much as I do, but he works full time and I'm a stay-at-home-mom. I know he works hard and is often very tired at the end of the day, but that doesn't mean he doesn't want sex or intimacy. Try doing something for him and not asking for anything back - if you know what I mean, even while he's watching TV, just go for it.

    Maybe you need to rekindle the romance in your relationship; bring back the intimacy, and I mean non-physical intimacy. Talk to him about his interests and genuinely listen and offer insight or thoughts about what he likes. Participate in his hobbies with him if you can, just take interest in him. Make him dinner or lunch for work, or breakfast before he leaves. Dress up really nice for no reason.

    If all else fails, there's always divorce. Not the ideal situation for you, obviously, but life is too short to be miserable. Best of luck to you! :heart:
  • micahnelson
    micahnelson Posts: 92 Member
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    As for the OP, I just can't relate to turning down sex. Even when I was at my heaviest, I never turned it down.

    MFP Forums: Can't Relate? Better Comment.
  • pinkraynedropjacki
    pinkraynedropjacki Posts: 3,027 Member
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    tie him up and rape him...no other alternative ;)

    I'm officially done with the MFP forums

    We won't miss you anymore than you aren't missing sex.

    Ummmm rape is NOT sex. Rape is Rape.... simple as that.... despite how anyone tries to justify it.
  • pinkraynedropjacki
    pinkraynedropjacki Posts: 3,027 Member
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    edited cause I double posted
  • patroleumjam
    patroleumjam Posts: 23
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    As for the OP, I just can't relate to turning down sex. Even when I was at my heaviest, I never turned it down.
    enjoy your stds and accidental child I'll be over here doin it with someone I actually care about while not forcing them or dehumanizing them for sex.

    wow whenenever someone can't have their sex or lean someone is a virgin people get MAD hahahaha

    edit: before anyone asks "well if you love him so much why aren't you having sex you're just jealous!!"

    it's because I'm not on birth control yet and I'm not an idiot
  • patroleumjam
    patroleumjam Posts: 23
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    I will honestly never understand what is so magical about sex to the point people just feel like they're about to DIE without it. maybe it's because I'm a virgin, I don't know. I get it's important to a relationship and it apparently feels good but jesus...

    yes, it's because you're a virgin. when you find the one you're meant to be with, you'll discover it's the most wonderful physical expression of your love.

    to the point where I insult my SO because they're not in the mood? yeah ok. SOUNDS LIKE LOVE.
  • gogojodee
    gogojodee Posts: 1,261 Member
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    Haha - hearing this makes me not want to get married! haha
  • Assassins_Angel
    Assassins_Angel Posts: 329
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    I have to admit I am in a similar situation with my Fiancé, Until a year ago we were in a long distance relationship and we'd only spend a max of 2 weeks together twice a year and in those 2 weeks we'd have sex at every opportunity! But now that we are living together we don't feel the need to bone every 5 minutes and instead enjoy eachother in other ways such as cuddling and talking in bed, Of course we still make love on a regular basis but sometimes it's nice just to hold one another.

    Though sometimes when I'm in the mood and he rejects me it hurts my feelings a little as until I moved in with him he's never said no to making love, but I know it's got nothing to do with me and it's because he's tired and had a hard day at work, so I'd give him a massage and have cuddles with him instead :)
  • GypsysBloodRose26
    GypsysBloodRose26 Posts: 341 Member
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    I will honestly never understand what is so magical about sex to the point people just feel like they're about to DIE without it. maybe it's because I'm a virgin, I don't know. I get it's important to a relationship and it apparently feels good but jesus...

    yes, it's because you're a virgin. when you find the one you're meant to be with, you'll discover it's the most wonderful physical expression of your love.

    to the point where I insult my SO because they're not in the mood? yeah ok. SOUNDS LIKE LOVE.

    So, I assume you have never been so frustrated with a person and needed to vent about it. For whatever reason. If you had, you would understand that the anonymity of the internet on a site designed to support our peers is the perfect place to vent. Especially if there is no one else you are able or willing to talk to about it.
  • manda1002
    manda1002 Posts: 178 Member
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    While he was in, was he sent over seas, or did anything happen that could have caused PTSD? If so, maybe after the incident, and then getting out of the army and not really having anything to do, it's just hit him. The sitting around not doing anything and the weight gain would be more cause of worry to me than the sex, honestly. He's not happy. Or like others have said, his testosterone. I think at this point, the sexiest thing you could do for him is help him. Make an appointment to see his Dr by yourself, or with him if he's willing to go as well. This is one of those points in a womans life when she needs to realize it's not about her, and her husband really needs her, on a very emotional level. Be his rock, help him.
  • Glassjaw01
    Glassjaw01 Posts: 17
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    Girl, if he doesn't pay attention to you, you need to start leaving the house all dressed up and looking good. Even if it's going out to the store, let other men compliment you and make you feel good. You can let him know about it when you get home. Start going out without him and make him wonder what you're up to. It might take some time, so yeah, maybe you'll need some of what the others suggested.... In fact, that might get him interested. Stop doing the things you do for him on an every day basis (whether it be cooking dinner or washing his clothes, etc.) and let him know if he's not gonna take care of your needs, you're not going to take care of his. In fact, (thank God my husband doesn't like sports) but I'd go stand in front of him with a pair of scissors, walk over to the TV cord, and threaten to make sure he won't have the choice to pick the tv over you anymore. You probably need to tell him what you told us, and tell him seriously. Let him know exactly how he's making you feel.


    Wow, such great advice. Are you in high school??? Very immature advice.

    I agree. Thank god Im not married to this girl. I feel sorry for her husband.
  • Kym1610
    Kym1610 Posts: 333 Member
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    Everyone is different of couse and I usually wear pants work, or jeans on the weekend so what gets my hubby going is when I dress a little more femine, a skirt or dress and stockings will pretty much do it for him every time.

    What does your husband like?
  • deadgirl81
    deadgirl81 Posts: 412 Member
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    Wait til the football is on - lie in front of the tv, nekkid!! And maybe try some of the things from this adamandeve website - maybe that'll change his mind - or lay on the dining room table, and cover yourself in potato chips, see if that'd get a reaction!?

    (Don't worry, I'm going through the same sort of thing, my other half doesnt have a high sex drive, in reality I don't either but it'd still be nice to have it now and again, think its been about 4-5 months for me now - ah well :indifferent: )

    Good luck with it all :happy:
  • kaybillie
    kaybillie Posts: 43
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    yep same here! mind you mine has always been that way!!! Thought it was me!! maybe low testosterone?!
    You keep going with the healthy though. best wishes.
  • scruffykaz
    scruffykaz Posts: 317 Member
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    Ok seriously what guy in the world turns down sex when there wife is basically begging for it! WTF I understand "sex" is not what makes a marriage, BUT since I dropped the 10 lbs Still have a ways to go (45) and been working out 5x a week its all that is on my mind. All my husband wants to do is sit on the damn couch be boring and eat chips. I do not get it in any way, been married to the man since I was 17 WTF. He has just gotten so damn lazy since he got out of the ARMY i mean god I think he has gained atleast 40lbs I have pointed it out to him! Like everyone already knows until he wants to change it, its not gonna change!


    Anyways sorry just had to get it out GRRR. Please no negativity its not like that at all.
    Anyone feel free to add me!

    How long has he been out of the Army? If this is a long term problem maybe you could encourage him to exercise with you, even if it is just light exercise like walking.

    Unfortunately, even though he wants to lose weight, you have to wait for him to be ready to do. WANTING to lose weight and being willing to do something about it are two different things.

    You have both changed by the sounds of it. You have lost weight and he has become a couch potato. You need to find a happy medium...

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