really bad home issues... could use some help

i want to, i need to, but im not able to afford anything and my mom does not have the room to let me (and my husband) move in with her and my brother (she lives 6 hours away) and i forget why my dad said that he didnt want us moving in with him when he has plenty of room ( he lives about 7 hours away)

Forget your parents. I don't want to seem mean but it's time to grow up. You and your husband can't live with your in laws all your life. Especially if they're several months behind on the rent that is just not a real option at all. What is your sister even thinking having a kid in that environment? Are her and her new husband going to raise a family living at their parents house when they can't even afford the rent?

It really sounds like a toxic situation and with your money situation the way things are I just don't know. If I was in your shoes I'd be pushing for my husband to get a job (if he doesn't already) so the both of you can get your own place together. And if not then considering divorce and leaving.

i knew that was going to come up a lot. i know how some people can be and just say to move out like it would be that easy, if it was going to be that easy i would of done it by now

Never said it would be easy. I've lived a very hard life myself and poverty sometimes forces you to make hard choices.

I cut almost my entire family out of my life a year ago when I got divorced and I took the opportunity to make a lot of changes in my life. It wasn't easy but my biggest regret now was that I didn't do it sooner.

Is it your foodstamps or hers? If it is yours, then you buy the groceries and get the things you and your hubby wll eat only. If they want junk, they can go buy their on food. Quit buying soda and junk and you will have better food.

I agree. If it's your food stamps or your hubby's, then do the shopping yourself and don't buy soda or junk. They will either learn to deal with it or find a way to buy it for themselves. Your sister-in-law should qualify for WIC now since she is pregnant I think.

And honestly, if you guys can't afford food or rent, why do you have internet? Drop the internet and go use it at the library for free. Or go hang out somewhere and use the free wi-fi for awhile.

Hang in there. Spend your pennies wisely and save as many as you can. Do whatever you can at your job to show responsibility and take initiative to get things done faster and better. Hopefully they'll bring you on full time and promote you if you work hard enough. Good luck!

I'm so sorry that your in that situation. I can't even begin to imagine. The only thing I can offer to help is to tell you to take a walk. I don't mean move out, but litereally take a walk. Everytime you get furstrated or need a little peace, talk a walk. 20 min here 30 min there. Getting outside and away will help your stress level and the benifits of walking to weight loss should be obvious. Its also FREE!

YES. De stress with walks

Based on your post, I'm thinking you might need some assistance cleaning up your resume so you can find a job and then afford to move out. Maybe find someone who can look that over for you.

Then use the Internet (since you're paying for it and all) to apply for work.

It's good that your'e working again starting tomorrow. Now make it work for you. Put your needs first. Your money, your food. Do not care what the rest of your family wants. If they want junk, they can work and go buy junk. If you need to make a plan with FIL, then do it. Stop the soda entirely. You have real nutrition needs here and soda won't fill them. Save that money for real food. As the others have mentioned, you can get frozen veggies with your money and stamps. Frozen meat, too. You can get what you need, but you will have to make hard choices.

Pick a day when you are not hungry to take a pad and pencil and go through the store. Mark what you can get with your stamps that IS good for you. Now go home, plan a menu and go back and get the stuff you NEED. Not want. NEED.

And if the others complain that you didn't get what they want, tell them to go get a job if they want junk. You're here to eat real food.

My advice:

Keep in mind this is very general, but falls under the "I wish I knew then what I know now" department:

1) don't make any decisions that have "permanent" consequences based on this temporary situation.
and
2) ultimately, we are all responsible for our own actions. No one can make one doe anything he (or she) wouldn't otherwise want to do.

I don't think you want to hear what I have to say. But, maybe if you got rid of cable then people would be able to get out and find a job and you would be able to afford to save some money so you can move out. Really, CABLE is a luxury while SHELTER is a necessity. The rent should be paid before anything else because sooner or later you ALL will be on the street.

This.

I don't have cable because I like paying my mortgage.

i knew that was going to come up a lot. i know how some people can be and just say to move out like it would be that easy, if it was going to be that easy i would of done it by now.

i have one person in this town ( besides my husband and father in law) that i can go to for help/advice.

its already been said by the rest of the family that if my sister in law would move out it would make most of the stress and 99% of our problems go away, but that still wouldnt help the food situation much

Sounds like your sister-in-law is a convenient scape goat for you. I would be looking for something else if I lived there since the sheriff is coming with an eviction notice soon since a house of 6 adults can't manage to make rent a priority. From the outside looking in it seems like your SIL is 1% of your real problem...

Have you thought about trying to go back to school and get some sort of degree that will help you get a better job? I'm sure you'd qualify for tons of financial assistance and, even though it's not a solution for the short term, sometimes having a long term goal/plan in place helps you to deal with the stress of your immediate situation. Also, you can apply for financial assistance for housing as well. If you qualify for food stamps, you should qualify for that, too. Go down to the local unemployment office and tell them you'd like some help looking for a good job. Sometimes they know about jobs that are available that may not be listed in the paper or elsewhere. As someone else said, if you're paying for internet and you are having this much trouble making ends meet, you should probably think about having it shut off...at least temporarily, anyway. Also, I agree that, if you're the one getting the food stamps, you should be doing the grocery shopping and buy HEALTHY foods (as healthy as possible on food stamps anyway). Your sister in law might not like not having internet or not having junk food, but maybe that will "encourage" her to move out. Stop making it so easy for her to stay, and maybe she'll decide to leave. It's not gonna be easy to deal with the aftermath, but it's like dealing with a spoiled child. No matter how much they kick and scream, you HAVE to stick to your guns and do the right thing. Most of the time, the right thing to do is not the easy thing to do.

I tend to agree with the walk comment... When things are ridiculous and leave you shaking your head get out of the house. Put up a flyer at a local store for babysitting (in their home), lawn care, dog walking, etc. SOMETHING to make you a few extra bucks (to save to move OR for your own food choices) and something to get you out of the home and MOVING to speed up your weight loss efforts. We can't control how others behave, BUT we can control how we react to it. Good luck to you!