really bad home issues... could use some help

Here are some concrete things you can do.

1. Call an employment agency or a temp service.
2. Go to Goodwill and get yourself a pair of black dress pants and one long sleeved blouse. If you can afford a blazer that matches, even better. This outfit will get you through just about any interview.
3. Ask yourself what you want to do when you grow up. Be a nurse? Program computers? Answer yourself and then call the local community college. They can help you through the process of getting enrolled, financial aid, etc...
4. Realize that it is going to suck and you'll probably have to work nights somewhere while you get your degree.
5. Call a hotel and ask them if they need housekeepers. They always do. If it is a small, local owned place, they may even let you live there in exchange for work.

But understand that you have to take acton. Complaining gets you nowhere. You have to DO SOMETHING.

I worked at GoodWill Industries for 10 years and saw people with REAL disabilities working hard to earn money for their families. I am sorry about your situation, I hope everything works out for you.

OK... this is really making me crazy.
Contact an Army or Air Force recruter.

No don't do that. I was in the Navy and if you or your husband are too lazy to work now, you will be too lazy to work in the military. It'll be another waste of tax dollars. The military is not a solution if you aren't willing to work because, believe me, people will always try and find ways to get out of work.

I'm not going to lie. I wouldn't want to serve with you or your husband. Sorry if it sounds mean, but it's the truth. I spent too many year dealing with lazy people in the military.

Watch the Paralympics, get some perspective about overcoming real adversity. Your in-laws are a bunch of lazy feckers and you're enabling them. What possessed you to marry a man who won't work??? Do you expect to have children with this man??? If it were me I would run for the hills!

This^^

hmmmm troll'n? Hun re-read all you wrote - I wouldn't even dare to share this with anyone if it was me -- at 25 what the heck is stopping you from conquering life....

All I got out of this was excuses, excuses, and nothing but excuses... with a tint of screeching whine

perfectly stated!

To the OP...free advice from a Vocational Rehab Counselor with no judgement.

To start, turn off the cable and the internet. If you are responsible for the bill, and you cannot afford it, than it should not be on. Period. If the FIL wants it on, he can pay the damn bill. The library has movies, books, internet...and it is FREE.

Someone mentioned Goodwill, this is an excellent resource for job help. If you have a disability, try Vocational Rehabilitation. Also, all states have a job service of sorts (our is called SC DEW). Many cities have the option of dialing 211 from a landline, which is an excellent resource for local resources, thanks to United Way.

As for diet...there are many affordable choices that will stretch your dollar. First off, STOP BUYING SODA. Rice, potatoes, pasta & dried beans to start with. The farmers market is an excellent source for inexpensive produce (and your monies go straight to the farmer!). Also, seed packets are super cheap, and gardening is great exercise. How about starting a vegetable garden? Most cities have churches and food pantries that provide food assistance don't be afraid to reach out into your community.

That being said...VOLUNTEER. It is an excellent chance to network, may become a job, helps promote feelings of worth & productivity, and closes gaps on a resume. Perhaps volunteer at a soup kitchen, so you are giving back to the community helping you.

Overall, I agree that change starts with YOU. Stop spending time on the internet looking for quick answers, and start making positive changes. Don't blame the FIL, the SIL...it's all on you. Good luck on your new job, and I certainly hope things turn around for you.

I just want to say that you people who have responded are really nice. This situation is something I simply cannot relate to, so I will refrain from responding to the OP.

Is it your food stamps or hers? If it is yours, then you buy the groceries and get the things you and your hubby will eat only. If they want junk, they can go buy their on food. Quit buying soda and junk and you will have better food.

I agree.. I know it's hard if others always want junk food (my mom)... but this is your health and your life.

Oh and one mistake or a little cheat every so often is NOT bad, it's normal, don't beat yourself up, just take a
walk to burn off some of the calories. Always, passing temptations is a road to failure, just eat a smaaallll portion,
log it, work it off. By logging it and working it off, it can't be thrown in your face later that you did something "wrong".

Hugs hun ~Ang

I cannot begin to tell you how similar your problems are to mine. Let's just say I thought for a long time I had no way out. You cannot change these people or their habits, but you can certainly work on yourself. You are kind of stuck with everyone else's food addictions so my question is this, do you have control over your own exercise? If you can, concentrate on that area first. Second, ok, so bad food is around,can you modify as far as how much you eat? Do they buy any fruits, vegies so you can supllement your diet?

All I know is this, I need to stay positive through my hard times and hard lousy people who suck out the energy of life from me.I started listening to tapes from Joel Olsteen and Tony Robbins so I could change the hardware in my brain.I started working on my prayer life, because honestly, with those morons surrounding you (and me) we need God.

I have come to the conclusion that no matter what occurs I know that God wants better things for me and for my children.I want to eat at His banquet and not steal the crumbs off the floor. I want to be joyful and happy and be there for others.I want to make a difference.

You are going to be able to do more now for yourself with this new job.But think of this, you do not need to stay stagnant, you have the ability to become more. I realize your life now must be tiring to your spirit, but there is always hope.Hope for you and even those you live with.Pray for them also.

I wish for you the very best life has to offer and pray that your tears will soon lead to blessing giving you tenfold of what you have lost.If you ever need to talk, I am here for you.

OP, live for YOURSELF and YOUR well being. Gain the confidence from within you, not a fantasy.

ive been looking every day for a job since i got fired, the only one in the house hold with any medical issues is my father in law. let alone hes never had to do anything around the house, his wife did it all until her health got so bad she couldnt do it. thats the only reason ive stayed here for 3 1/2 years.

and im still looking for another job because i know the one im starting isnt much. but at least it was better than NOTHING. all three of my father in laws kids are just lazy, they never had to do anything growing up. and wont even find a job.... thats the main reason my sister in law got pregnant is to try and get the government to pay her while she sits on her *kitten*.

my husband has only had one job, he worked at mcdonalds with me, that lasted like 2 months, he got fired for his attitude ( hes bipolar and gets pissed very easily)

their dad isnt forcing any of them to do anything so they wont do anything. me on the other hand have felt lost with out a job.

the only time my husband wants out of this house is when a fight occurs.

Sounds to me like the whole family has a LOT of growing up to do. This is the real world, everyone needs to go out and get a job. Your SIL getting pregnant to get welfare/food stamps is disgusting and I feel sorry for the child that she is bringing into this world.

Your husband needs to grow up and get his attitude under control, if he can't keep a job at mcdonalds because of his attitude then your going to have problems like this the rest of your life.

There are ways around this. I know that because i've been there.

It's really difficult to escape an unhealthy and unhappy environment, especially when these people are your family. But if you want it badly enough, there are ways to make it happen. The longer you go on doing nothing about it, the longer it will stay as it is. First you need to decide what you really want. Then you need a plan. It can be daunting at first, but little steps do make a difference. Just keep going on - your family may see this as annoying, weird, or "odd", but ignore them because they're only providing resistance. I suggest writing what you want to accomplish down in a journal as a tangible reminder of what you want to have happen.

So, here are my suggestions:

FOOD:
It's really difficult, especially in low-income households to find good, *healthy* food to eat that's also affordable. It's true that heathier food is usually more expensive while unhealthy food is usually cheap, but with a few creative tips, it can work. If you live near a local Price Chopper or Big Y or any supermarket that sells fresh and frozen foods, you can look in there for deals. Also if your local supermarket has discount cards (like price chopper has the "Avantedge" card you can get for free), get that to save on items you buy there. I think they also give you a discount on gas depending on how much you spend at the store, and you can use it at particpating gas stations (or at least mine does.) Also, get the flyers for your supermarket and look for coupons and deals. That way you can save even more money. The supermarket discount cards can also enable you to sometimes get two-for-one deals, which helps.

I prefer the Healthy Choice microwave meals. They are quick and easy to make, but just like any food, you want to make sure to read the nutrition label to see what's in it (different kinds have way too much sodium/fat/sugar), so choose carefully. I personally like these below (the nutritional facts are also posted on their website too.)

http://www.healthychoice.com/healthy-lunches-naturals/Pumpkin-Squash-Ravioli
http://www.healthychoice.com/healthy-lunches-naturals/Roasted-Red-Pepper-Marinara

The cost for just one of these meals at my local price chopper is around $2-2.30. And they have a decent portion size for one person, not a huge serving size like some of those meals do.

Fresh vegetables and fruits, such as corn on the cob, apples, tomatoes, lettuce and squash should also be fairly inexpensive. With some recipes to dress them up and cook them differently, you'll find ways to eat healthier while not being bored with what you're eating. I would recommend to stay away from proccessed foods that you can usually find in bulk, as much as possible because even though they can be cheap, most are a killer of healthy living. A lot of water is vital, too.

I like these sites:

http://www.eatingwell.com/
http://allrecipes.com/recipes/healthy-recipes/

Eating healthy doesn't need to be hard or expensive, it just requires a little effort and imagination.

TRAVEL
Don't have a car? well, neither do I. Gas is actually really expensive. I usually walk places or get rides, or use transit. If you don't have a car or can't afford gas, check to see if there's a local bus transit station near you. Depending on where you live, the fare is usually only a couple of dollars and you can use it to get to places, to work or to go back to school. Walking is also an option for excerise, and you can try asking your husband if during his free time he might want to walk with you.

INTERNET
Well, the internet is a luxury, and not really a necessity. For a decent speed, it can cost as much as $30-50 per month! really a huge dent in the wallet when you're trying to save cash. But did you know that a lot of places provide free wifi? if you cancel your home internet, your family may complain because they no longer have instant always-on home service, but tell them to suck it up, because it's not required and that money can instead be used for food and other more important things.

If you absolutely need to use the internet for something, it can be done without monthly service. If you live near a local Library, they may provide free wifi and computers to use (if you don't have a laptop/smartphone.) Some resturants and cafes' do too. You can even set up an ebay account to sell a few things you might not need in the meantime. Or, if you have a landline phone service, you can get old-fashioned dial up service for free (depending on where you live and if it's available there -- they do unfortunately make you pay for the one-time device fee, though): http://www.netzero.net/

All the hard work will be worth it when you get somewhere you've always wanted to. There could be tons of possibilities just waiting for you, you just need to try. Anyone who refuses to support your new lifestyle is only trying to hold you back - don't let them.

“It doesn’t matter how slowly you go-so long as you do not stop.”
-Confucius

I really like that quote, so I just had to share it.

Good luck!

What about your husband? Does he work? You both need jobs and move on with your lives. It is going to be hard to work on weightloss in that enviroment.

I am not saying this to me be mean...Please don't take it that way.

Life isn't easy, at all. Period. I have lived on my own since I graduated highschool. I have ALWAYS worked 40-60 hours a week, have worked to get my bachelors degree by going to school FULL TIME (while working all of those hours), I have paid all of my own bills with no help.

Get a job. That's your answer. WORK. YOUR. *kitten*. OFF. No more excuses. They don't get you any where... What is stopping you and your husband from getting a job and working as many hours as possible? Both of you could go work 3 jobs each if you have to. Whatever it takes to support yourselves is what you NEED to do. Relying on your father-in-law is honestly, in my opinion, is awful. He shouldn't have to be busting hump to support the four of you guys. Cut the internet off, cut the cable off.. If you can't afford to pay rent, you don't need those things. Those things are luxuries, not necessities.

My parents have let people live with them who wouldn't work to pay for things either. My parents have struggled to pay bills but ALWAYS paid them. I think this is why this topics hits home for me so hard. i had aunts and uncles live with us growing up. My parents worked multiple jobs to pay all of the bills while my aunts and uncles just sat around eating junk food and watching tv all day.. and then fighting over who's food it was.

I really don't mean to sound like a b!+ch but come on... WHY can't y'all work multiple jobs and get on your feet? What's stopping you? People all over the country do it ALL THE TIME. Ultimately, you can have your own place with your own food, or you can have excuses...

hmmmm troll'n? Hun re-read all you wrote - I wouldn't even dare to share this with anyone if it was me -- at 25 what the heck is stopping you from conquering life....

All I got out of this was excuses, excuses, and nothing but excuses... with a tint of screeching whine

THIS

I can totally understand what you mean about not wanting people to tell you to move out. This economy has changed our whole lives. I know, I was employed for 15 years, since age 16 and my company laid me off. I was out of work for 11 months. Trust me I know how hard it is. The best thing to do is start focusing all your energy and time on finding a job ASAP maybe even taking a few part time jobs to make a new one if you have to, that is what I did while I waited for a real job. They are not easy to come by these days. It is hard ANYTIME you are too close to your inlaws especially living with them so it will be good to move, eventually. I know you are not ready for that right now. While you have the internet, take advantage and get on linked in a post your resume. You will be suprised what connections you may find that you did not even think of. Start asking around to EVERYONE you meet. Seriously! I found out about my new job from a drug store employee, it's a court job so who would have thought! Right? Just try to keep your head up, don't let the drama get to you and focus all your time and energy on getting in shape, eating right, and finding a job. You can do it! Keep your head up and don't let them get you down!