really bad home issues... could use some help

There are ways around this. I know that because i've been there.

It's really difficult to escape an unhealthy and unhappy environment, especially when these people are your family. But if you want it badly enough, there are ways to make it happen. The longer you go on doing nothing about it, the longer it will stay as it is. First you need to decide what you really want. Then you need a plan. It can be daunting at first, but little steps do make a difference. Just keep going on - your family may see this as annoying, weird, or "odd", but ignore them because they're only providing resistance. I suggest writing what you want to accomplish down in a journal as a tangible reminder of what you want to have happen.

So, here are my suggestions:

FOOD:
It's really difficult, especially in low-income households to find good, *healthy* food to eat that's also affordable. It's true that heathier food is usually more expensive while unhealthy food is usually cheap, but with a few creative tips, it can work. If you live near a local Price Chopper or Big Y or any supermarket that sells fresh and frozen foods, you can look in there for deals. Also if your local supermarket has discount cards (like price chopper has the "Avantedge" card you can get for free), get that to save on items you buy there. I think they also give you a discount on gas depending on how much you spend at the store, and you can use it at particpating gas stations (or at least mine does.) Also, get the flyers for your supermarket and look for coupons and deals. That way you can save even more money. The supermarket discount cards can also enable you to sometimes get two-for-one deals, which helps.

I prefer the Healthy Choice microwave meals. They are quick and easy to make, but just like any food, you want to make sure to read the nutrition label to see what's in it (different kinds have way too much sodium/fat/sugar), so choose carefully. I personally like these below (the nutritional facts are also posted on their website too.)

http://www.healthychoice.com/healthy-lunches-naturals/Pumpkin-Squash-Ravioli
http://www.healthychoice.com/healthy-lunches-naturals/Roasted-Red-Pepper-Marinara

The cost for just one of these meals at my local price chopper is around $2-2.30. And they have a decent portion size for one person, not a huge serving size like some of those meals do.

Fresh vegetables and fruits, such as corn on the cob, apples, tomatoes, lettuce and squash should also be fairly inexpensive. With some recipes to dress them up and cook them differently, you'll find ways to eat healthier while not being bored with what you're eating. I would recommend to stay away from proccessed foods that you can usually find in bulk, as much as possible because even though they can be cheap, most are a killer of healthy living. A lot of water is vital, too.

I like these sites:

http://www.eatingwell.com/
http://allrecipes.com/recipes/healthy-recipes/

Eating healthy doesn't need to be hard or expensive, it just requires a little effort and imagination.

TRAVEL
Don't have a car? well, neither do I. Gas is actually really expensive. I usually walk places or get rides, or use transit. If you don't have a car or can't afford gas, check to see if there's a local bus transit station near you. Depending on where you live, the fare is usually only a couple of dollars and you can use it to get to places, to work or to go back to school. Walking is also an option for excerise, and you can try asking your husband if during his free time he might want to walk with you.

INTERNET
Well, the internet is a luxury, and not really a necessity. For a decent speed, it can cost as much as $30-50 per month! really a huge dent in the wallet when you're trying to save cash. But did you know that a lot of places provide free wifi? if you cancel your home internet, your family may complain because they no longer have instant always-on home service, but tell them to suck it up, because it's not required and that money can instead be used for food and other more important things.

If you absolutely need to use the internet for something, it can be done without monthly service. If you live near a local Library, they may provide free wifi and computers to use (if you don't have a laptop/smartphone.) Some resturants and cafes' do too. You can even set up an ebay account to sell a few things you might not need in the meantime. Or, if you have a landline phone service, you can get old-fashioned dial up service for free (depending on where you live and if it's available there -- they do unfortunately make you pay for the one-time device fee, though): http://www.netzero.net/

All the hard work will be worth it when you get somewhere you've always wanted to. There could be tons of possibilities just waiting for you, you just need to try. Anyone who refuses to support your new lifestyle is only trying to hold you back - don't let them.

“It doesn’t matter how slowly you go-so long as you do not stop.”
-Confucius

I really like that quote, so I just had to share it.

Good luck!

What about your husband? Does he work? You both need jobs and move on with your lives. It is going to be hard to work on weightloss in that enviroment.

I am not saying this to me be mean...Please don't take it that way.

Life isn't easy, at all. Period. I have lived on my own since I graduated highschool. I have ALWAYS worked 40-60 hours a week, have worked to get my bachelors degree by going to school FULL TIME (while working all of those hours), I have paid all of my own bills with no help.

Get a job. That's your answer. WORK. YOUR. *kitten*. OFF. No more excuses. They don't get you any where... What is stopping you and your husband from getting a job and working as many hours as possible? Both of you could go work 3 jobs each if you have to. Whatever it takes to support yourselves is what you NEED to do. Relying on your father-in-law is honestly, in my opinion, is awful. He shouldn't have to be busting hump to support the four of you guys. Cut the internet off, cut the cable off.. If you can't afford to pay rent, you don't need those things. Those things are luxuries, not necessities.

My parents have let people live with them who wouldn't work to pay for things either. My parents have struggled to pay bills but ALWAYS paid them. I think this is why this topics hits home for me so hard. i had aunts and uncles live with us growing up. My parents worked multiple jobs to pay all of the bills while my aunts and uncles just sat around eating junk food and watching tv all day.. and then fighting over who's food it was.

I really don't mean to sound like a b!+ch but come on... WHY can't y'all work multiple jobs and get on your feet? What's stopping you? People all over the country do it ALL THE TIME. Ultimately, you can have your own place with your own food, or you can have excuses...

hmmmm troll'n? Hun re-read all you wrote - I wouldn't even dare to share this with anyone if it was me -- at 25 what the heck is stopping you from conquering life....

All I got out of this was excuses, excuses, and nothing but excuses... with a tint of screeching whine

THIS

I can totally understand what you mean about not wanting people to tell you to move out. This economy has changed our whole lives. I know, I was employed for 15 years, since age 16 and my company laid me off. I was out of work for 11 months. Trust me I know how hard it is. The best thing to do is start focusing all your energy and time on finding a job ASAP maybe even taking a few part time jobs to make a new one if you have to, that is what I did while I waited for a real job. They are not easy to come by these days. It is hard ANYTIME you are too close to your inlaws especially living with them so it will be good to move, eventually. I know you are not ready for that right now. While you have the internet, take advantage and get on linked in a post your resume. You will be suprised what connections you may find that you did not even think of. Start asking around to EVERYONE you meet. Seriously! I found out about my new job from a drug store employee, it's a court job so who would have thought! Right? Just try to keep your head up, don't let the drama get to you and focus all your time and energy on getting in shape, eating right, and finding a job. You can do it! Keep your head up and don't let them get you down!

Time for you and your husband to grow up and live your own life. I would feel bad but all I read were excuses and blame. I would also feel bad if any of you actually tried to work for a living. I'm sorry but I don't. I know first hand how hard it is to find a job. It took me over a year to find one when I loved back to my home state. I didn't make excuses, I actually looked every single day, pounded the pavement, made phone calls and went on any and all interviews I could get. One area that is always hiring is overnight shifts at Walmart and Target. My father worked his butt off all his life, now he's ill and is looking at losing his house that he worked so fanned hard for. My husband and I work and help my dad but we have rent and a 7 year old as well so everybody is sacrificing. Finally....getting fired for attitude problems is just rediculous and your sister in law disgusts me - no job, no money but let's intentionally get pregnant??? Wow...just wow. Again, time for all of you to grow up.

First off, I know exactly how your situation is, mine is sort of similar. I am in a relationship with an asian guy and he is hmong. We live with his parents and his 5 brothers who all are out of school and could get jobs but choose not to and eat what everybody else buys.

I just wanna say I am glad your making some changes and don't let anyone discourage you or put you down for making better choices for yourself. Just remember your doing it for yourself and nobody else.

As for the situation, there is no way to avoid it unless you move out but like you said that's not an option right now. If your getting the food stamps for yourself and husband then you should let everybody know that and you are gonna use it to buy "dinner meals only" and if they want their junk food they're going to have to buy it themselves. If they don't understand then explain to them buying junk food lasts maybe a day that doesn't fill you up and that by buying stuff to make meals lasts longer and fills you up. If you don't speak up nothing will change or get better and you won't be happy.

I hope this helps. If you wanna talk more feel free to "friend me" or message me

Move to a cheap neighbourhood in Canada. Seriously though.... they don't even allow you to get paid less than $10 an hour in most places.

Also, I've had a job since 14. You have fast food experience, maybe Denny's is hiring? Thats where y first job was. They hire easily and whether you get a job at the front of house or back of house, you get a share of tips. I got around $6 extra per day, which isn't much but if you work 5 days its 120 dollars extra a month. Still not great but you'd already be making 1600 per month. Enough for very cheap rent and if your husband got a job he could pay for the other expenses.

I wasn't going to say anything, but I read a lot of the comments (and yours) and even read some of your "diary"... and I have to say, that you make A LOT of excuses for your actions. If you have zero $, you don't need the internet. You don't need gamefly or whatever you have for your husband that you mentioned in your diary. You're going to be evicted if you don't start paying rent. End of story. Buck up and get it together. There's NO reason why your husband shouldn't work (bipolar or not) and you should be working too. You honestly sound like you just want someone to feel sorry for you, but I don't really have any sympathy. Everyone has something that they're fighting in our lives... and there are two kinds of people in life; those who are do'ers and those who are takers. You're a taker. Time to be a do'er or quit your *****ing. Harsh words but all true. Good luck.

there should be some kind of "bread pantry" you can go to i know some churches will have them