really bad home issues... could use some help

Its good you're looking for work, but to be honest, your husband sounds like a lazy *kitten*. He should get off his *kitten* and get a JOB. My schizophrenic uncle, who refused to take his meds, managed to hold down a job for 3 years at a factory, so your 'bipolar' husband gets no sympathy from me.

None from me either. I'm bipolar and I HATE it when people with bipolar disorder use their illness as an excuse for jerk@$$ behavior. For what it's worth, I take my meds as directed by my doctor, and I've held down a good full-time job with benefits for the past four years. If your husband needs accommodations in order to work, the Americans with Disabilities Act requires an employer to provide reasonable accommodations. This doesn't mean the employer has to put up with bad behavior, but if a job needs to be modified in some way, and the modification is feasible, it should at least be tried.

I'm well aware there are some people with bipolar disorder who cannot work at all. But if your husband WON'T work, he is taking advantage of you--and in that kind of situation I would seriously consider leaving him.

My own finances were tight for a long time before I got my current job. I was $10K in the hole with credit card debt (my fault entirely) and, rather than filing for bankruptcy, I worked out a payment plan with my creditor and paid every cent of that debt off over a 3-year period. During that time, I made keeping a roof over my head my #1 priority--even if it meant making sacrifices. Instead of a pricey Internet package, I got a Yahoo! account and used the Internet at the library. I did a lot of my grocery shopping at Grocery Outlet. I only bought new clothes and shoes when the old ones were falling apart. I didn't have (and still don't have) a vehicle or cable TV.

And not having a vehicle is no excuse for not being able to go anywhere if you live in a place with halfway decent public transportation. I have an ORCA card (regional transit pass). It costs me about $90 a month for unlimited rides and is accepted on buses, light rail, and ferries in a four-county-wide service area: King, Pierce, Snohomish, and Kitsap Counties. I've used it not just to commute to and from work, but also for visiting friends, going shopping, and even short hiking trips!

It is very easy for people who have not been here to preach at you about getting a job! I used to be one of them, trust me I know. But, I learned the hard way not to judge until I have been there. The unemployment numbers and the 10,000 at a time applications for menial low paying jobs speak for themselves. Don't let these people get you down, it is not you, it is the economy so just find that compromise! Good luck.Oh and just to clarify the compromise I am speaking of is getting 2-3 part time jobs(they are much easier to get) to equal a full time job- I wish someone had told me to do that from day one, my life would have been much easier. Look for stuff you like, I am acually keeping one of mine now that I have a full time job because I enjoy it.

I didn't preach, I have been unemployed since August of last year, I finally just got a job fulltime although it's only a temporary maternity leave, there is possibility for fulltime, you are right, there are no jobs, it's so disheartening out there and it's very difficult. But I gave her advice I used myself, get a library card and use the library for books, internet, movies. Cancel internet, TV etc. Go and get on budget programs for all your utilities, contact your credit card companies to see about programs to lower your interest rates, Capital One definitely has this program as they lowered my 10% for a year. Chase wouldn't. Some companies will some won't but it never hurts to ask. I also have two part-time jobs doing Pampered Chef and working for a coupon website. It pays for groceries, I don't qualify for food stamps or any assistance. But I do my best, I've had to take money out of my 401k and will probably get smacked at the end of the year with the extra taxes, but I had to pay the mortgage. Some of us are living it right now, my advice to her was practical about ways to cut corners and save some money.

I hope all of you that have been posting encouraging and supportive advice for the OP have taken the time to go read her online diary. Word of caution, if you are offended by bad language, stay away.

I actually did and it's unfortunate that excuses are more important and friends/family coddle this behavior.
But until people in her life stop coddling the behavior it will continue.

I just read her online diary and she is what I like to call a “Perpetual Victim”.

I like this phrase.

I just wasted a good 10 minutes of my life reading your online diary.

"i just got home, had to go get a physical for work and now am waiting on them to tell me when orientation is going to be. ill probably be MIA tomorrow if i can get my *kitten* out of bed early enough."

Trying hard, I see.

"why start **** when you dont have the ****ing balls to put up with it. why the hell does a maybe 20 year old kid think that he is going to scare a man that is almost 60 years old. let alone the woman that started the **** kept saying that she was surprised that we wernt calling her a ****** and that we were more like ******s than she was and all this other bull****."

Stop swearing about nothing. And for Christs sake.. act your age?

"and when you have 2 desktop computers a laptop, a net book and a 360 ( actually 2 but the one does not have online) we need a better internet."

SELL THAT ****. OMG.



Look, I wouldn't hire you to change my tire. I'm sorry, I'm a b*tch. But you need to grow up.

Oh and don't listen to the advice about joining Mary Kay, Pampered Chef, etc ...those companies rely on their "employees" buying the bulk of their product and then the employee is left trying to sell it (and they rarely make ANY profit).

Interesting...I've been with Mary Kay for almost 9 years...don't think I'd continue to work with them if I didn't make any profit. I know loads of people with home based businesses that work them full time and support their families with them. It mostly boils down to how you manage your money and the effort you put into it. If you don't do either one, then of course you won't make any profit! No business will make you money if you don't actually do the work, and home based businesses have far cheaper start-up costs than any other type of business. Bottom line, these businesses work if you work, which is exactly the same deal with any other job out there...if the employee isn't working, they won't have money either...or their job.

And considering that home-based businesses have been one of the fastest growing job markets out there in this recession, I wouldn't knock them. Do some research on these things before making a generalization about ALL companies like this, because I've seen a LOT of people work into a better life because of these businesses being available to them. And neither of the companies you listed rely on their consultants to purchase their product to sell in order to be profitable.

well you've all got me curious...did you friend her to see her journal?

No, she has an online diary. She posted the link about three pages back but, she has since then modified her posting to remove the link.
http://www.opendiary.com/entrylist.asp?authorcode=D930084

OK...
I am man enough to admit when I am wrong.
I was wrong.
I was wrong for suggesting that her and her husband join the Military.
I just read her online diary and she is what I like to call a “Perpetual Victim”.
Basically, she is blaming everyone else but herself for the situation she is in.
Because this is her mindset, she will ALWAYS fail..... ALWAYS.
And, she will always blame someone else.
Once (if) she becomes an adult and learns to accept responsibility, she will make herself better.
Until then, everyone reading this will continue to support her VIA our tax dollars.

^^ Like, You speak the truth! With some people it will always be someone elses fault, SMH

Edited to add: I also glanced at your website diary and found the "YAY more idiots" very interesting. Have you ever stopped to think that maybe the idiot is you. I hope one day you do and please stop with all the excuses.

Your husband needs to man up and get a job to provide for his wife. Period.

THIS!!!!

The diary is private now.